Nobody's Obligation (Swimming Upstream #2) (16 page)

“Shit!” Katie looked knowingly at her brother. “I never thought I’d see the day.”

“What are you on about now?”

“Tyler’s got a crush!” Katie teased. “Wait till I tell Mum and Dad.”

“You’re full of it. I don’t have a crush,” Tyler denied vehemently.

Katie stood up and walked towards Tyler, stepping up beside him. She couldn’t help but giggle at Tyler’s obliviousness. When she wrapped her arm around his waist and dropped her head against his shoulder, she giggled knowingly. “Tyler, it’s okay to like someone,” Katie assured him.

“Not for me it’s not,” he replied sadly.

“Why? Why can’t you have a chance at what everyone else has?”

“Because it will hurt her,” Tyler offered, stepping out of his sister’s grasp.

“Don’t you think you should let her make that decision? If she makes you happy, screw everyone else! Tyler Andrews, grow a pair and do something about it.”

“Katie!”

“Oh, come off it, Ty. I know you. You like to act big and tough, but I know you better than anyone. You live tucked away in your fortress so no one can get through that armour you wear. But somehow this girl did. Hell! You met her when you went to tear her to shreds and yet somehow she got under your skin. Now look at you. “

Tyler wanted to punch his sister for being so damn close to the truth it was scary. He hated that she got it. “You staying for dinner?” he asked as his stomach growled loudly.

“Don’t dodge the question,” Katie dared him.

“You staying or not?”

“Yeah.”

“Stir-fry?”

“Sounds good.”

Ignoring his sister was easier than ignoring her words. She was just as annoying as she’d ever been. And Tyler hated nothing more than when she was right. Instead of continuing the conversation, Tyler forced himself to focus on chopping vegetables and mixing sauce.

Falling in step beside him, Katie started the wok and began adding ingredients. She was heavy handed with the chili and Tyler screwed up his face. Instead of answering, Katie just poked out her tongue at him and added another. When Tyler pulled out the tofu, Katie grabbed it from his hand.

“You’re not putting cardboard in my dinner,” she admonished.

“Yeah, I am. It’s good for you.” Tyler assured her, dicing the tofu before adding it to the pile.

“I'll make you a deal,” Katie taunted.

“Go on. I’m listening.”

“You can put your damn tasteless cardboard in if you tell me what you’re going to do about little Miss Ava Jacobs.” Katie giggled, unable to hide the mischievous glint in her eyes.

“You’re a bitch!” Tyler reminded her.

“Well…I’m waiting.”

Chapter 32

Ava

It was almost midnight by the time Ava stumbled through her front door, barely able to put one foot in front of the other. Exhausted was an understatement. She couldn’t even remember how many hours she’d been travelling but right now it felt like a lifetime. Giving up, Ava let go of her suitcase once the door slammed shut behind her and toed off her shoes. As she ambled down the hallway she started discarding clothes as she went. Thankful that she’d had the foresight to take another couple of days off once she returned home, she’d deal with the mess and the stale musty smell of her apartment tomorrow. Tonight she would sleep. Minutes later Ava slipped naked between the sheets and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Ava returned to her humdrum life the next morning and it quickly felt like she’d never been away. The loneliness, the monotonous existence returned, and with it the sad realisation that as much fun as she had had in New York, it was just a memory. One she’d cherish. A dream come true. But one she knew she had to wake up from. Letting go of the dream wasn’t as easy as she anticipated. Now she knew the outside existed. Before, the not knowing was comforting. She wasn’t missing out on anything. But now, now she was back, now that life was in the way again, Ava’s responsibilities were all viewed in a new light.

When she returned to work, Amanda was even more bright and bubbly and sickeningly happy than Ava remembered. She’d met someone. And all she wanted to do was swoon, or text him silly inconsequential emoticons, or talk about him incessantly, and as much as Ava didn’t want to admit it, she was jealous. She had no one. Not even a cat, which she had considered repeatedly before deciding that she probably couldn’t even keep a cat happy. But the more Amanda’s all-consuming and dominating personality beamed, the more Ava felt herself fading. Hoping no one would see her. No one would hear her. Hoping everyone would forget her.

The day she returned to work she returned to find her desk had been buried in grainy photos of herself and Tyler. The smart ass who’d done it refused to confess but had even managed to get one of the images printed on a t-shirt and hung on the back of Ava’s chair. Thankfully, the interest gradually faded, but every now and then someone would bring it back up. Usually when Ava told someone something that they didn’t want to hear, their gruff reply came with an attachment—the pictures that wouldn’t die. But Ava was more stubborn now than she had ever been. Tyler didn’t deserve this and she sure as hell didn’t, so Ava steadfastly refused to acknowledge their taunts. Ava knew most of the people she worked with well and she knew as soon as someone else did something worth laughing about she would be yesterday’s news. That was a day she couldn’t wait for.

But as much as she refused to play when the photos stared back at her, secretly every time she saw them she couldn’t help but recall the perfect masculine scent emanating from his perfectly muscled body or the heat that sent tingles through her body under his touch. And she definitely refused to admit that the memory of his steely gaze on her set her whole body on fire. There was nobody she trusted enough with those memories and Ava even managed to convince herself that while she was the only one who knew how much he affected her, it was special. Magical. Real. At least that was what she told herself as she paced her empty apartment wishing for more.

Yet being alone wasn’t all bad. Ava had relished the long periods of peace and quiet in the past, and with her whole lounge room buried under scraps of paper covered in chicken scratch and undecipherable scrawl, her next book was flying. Even when she’d written the first one it hadn’t been this easy to just sit and get swept along for the ride. That fact alone kept Ava going.

So Ava’s life after New York, as it became known, settled quickly into a routine. She got to work early and would already be on her third cup of coffee before anyone else arrived. She immersed herself into project after project, taking on anything and everything that was thrown at her, determined to prove herself. Ava worked straight through lunch and was almost always the last to leave each night. As soon as she was home she slipped into her ‘writing clothes’—an oversized pair of grey tracksuit pants, thick navy woollen socks, and a jumper she’d stolen from someone somewhere along the way, then she’d boot up her laptop and write for hours. Occasionally she’d stop for meals, but some nights she’d work straight through until her fingers ached or the font on the screen blurred before her eyes. Then and only then she’d stumble to bed, crawl beneath the covers, and dream the night away, only to repeat the cycle the next day.

Ava’s life had become boring, predictable, and safe.

“Ava! Any plans for tonight?” Amanda squawked from her perch at the reception desk while Ava filled her water bottle at the kitchen sink.

“Nothing specific,” Ava admitted, knowing that she’d be doing the same as she did last night and the night before.

“Well, Josh has soccer tonight.” Amanda thankfully missed Ava’s eye roll. There was barely a conversation between them where Josh’s name didn’t get mentioned. “So, did you want to go for a walk?”

“Why?” Ava gasped, slightly stunned.

“Why not?” Amanda asked with a shrug. “I need to get some exercise and it’s been ages since we’ve been able to just have a chat without a phone ringing or someone interrupting.”

“Isn’t Josh keeping your cardio up?”

Amanda blushed. She was definitely not a prude and as much as she led people to believe she was confident and strong, not many knew the truth. She wasn’t. But Ava was one of those people, and after all the snide comments Amanda had been tossing her way, payback was high on Ava’s agenda. And if watching Amanda squirm, even for a couple of minutes, made Ava’s day brighter, then she was going to enjoy it.

“I’ll pretend you didn’t say that.” Amanda pouted like a five-year-old.

“Pretend all you like. But since you didn’t answer I’d say that’s as good as a confession. But maybe he just isn’t holding up his end of the deal,” Ava taunted mischievously.

Amanda’s mouth fell open, stunned. “Not all of us get international swimming gods to snooze on. Some of us have to settle for mere mortals.”

Amanda couldn’t contain the giggle when Ava’s mouth fell open but no words came out. She was stunned. Amanda had been the only one to say nothing about the photos, although Ava knew she was dying to. But even after six weeks, Amanda had still remained silent.

“What’s up, Ava? Cat got your tongue?” Amanda smirked, turning her attention back to the ringing phone.

Ava wanted to say something. It was right there on the tip of her tongue. But it wasn’t. She didn’t have a witty comeback or even a snide remark. Instead, she spun on her heel and stalked back to her desk miserably and refocused on the spreadsheet in front of her.

Chapter 33

Tyler

Stalking around his sterile apartment, Tyler was filled with a frustration that he’d never known. He hated everything on principle. Not that there was anything particularly wrong with his million-dollar penthouse in the heart of the city with postcard-worthy water views, but to Tyler it was just another cage that Jonathan had somehow managed to trap him in. Standing on the balcony, staring out at the void, Tyler’s anger bubbled. Nothing in his life had gone right since he’d returned home from America. From the reporters camped out on his doorstep to his nosy family’s surprise visits all the way through to Jonathan’s bizarre new plan for Tyler’s life with so many changes it was barely recognisable to anyone. Especially Tyler.

“Fuck it all!” Tyler swore, slumping into the wicker chair on the balcony, earning him a dirty look from the tiny Asian woman on the balcony below him as she hung out her clothes. “Sorry,” he grumbled before stumbling back inside, slamming the door behind him.

Inside, Tyler felt worse. It didn’t matter that his gilded cage had floor to ceiling windows. It was still a cage. He felt like a puppet on strings and Jonathan, his puppet master. Ever since the ill-fated trip to America, Jonathan’s excitement and enthusiasm could barely be contained. And what was worse, no one ever said no to him. No one had the balls to turn him down. No one. Ever. Unfortunately for Tyler, he had years of runs on the board, proving his ideas were usually right. But right now, that brought him no comfort.

When his phone buzzed in his pocket, Tyler answered, not bothering to hide his foul mood. “What?” he snapped harshly.

“Well hello to you too, Tyler,” Jonathan replied smartly, almost as if Tyler’s jaded view of the world didn’t affect him at all.

“Hi Jonathan. What do you want today?” Tyler tried again, his voiced laced with sarcasm.

“Why are you being such a shithead, Tyler?”

“You really want to start?” Tyler challenged.

“Haven’t I made you a very successful and very rich young man?”

“Bullshit!”

“Excuse me?”

“I said fucking bullshit, Jonathan. I made me successful. My hard work. You just cashed in on it,” Tyler snarled.

“You really think you could have gotten to where you are today without me?” Jonathan mused.

“Maybe,” Tyler replied gruffly, refusing to back down.

“You might be a god in the water, but on land you’re just another pretty face. And without me guiding you, where would you be?”

“I’d have survived.”

“Survived, yes. Flourished, no.” Jonathan didn’t bother to elaborate further.

Tension hung in the air and Tyler forced himself to suck in a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself. “Money isn’t everything,” he blurted out unexpectedly.

“No. No, it’s not,” Jonathan agreed, waiting patiently. He’d been an agent for enough years that he knew that sometimes stars were temperamental. The bigger the star, the bigger the tantrums. Right now, it was Tyler’s turn to pout. “Tyler, you’ve earned everything you have. Don’t ever doubt that. But you need to get your shit together. It’s not going to last forever. You need to capitalise now, while you still can. While you’re young and…”

“And what, Jonathan? Fit? Wanted? Worthy? Don’t you think it’s all superficial bullshit?” Tyler asked, softening.

Jonathan was suddenly worried. Sure, he and Tyler had had differences of opinion over the years, but he’d never seen Tyler like this. Defeated. Deflated. Destroyed. “Yeah, Tyler, I do. But honestly what I think and what you think doesn’t matter. What matters right now is that you’re a brand. You’re more than just a swimmer. Do you have any idea how many requests I get for appearances a week? More than you could count. Everyone wants you. Everyone wants to be you—”

“Idiots,” Tyler cut him off.

Tyler was being a twat and he knew it but he couldn’t stop it. If Jonathan was going to constantly put him in these situations then he could damn well listen to him bitch and moan for a minute or two.

“Enough! Pull your head out of your arse for ten seconds and think about it. How many people want to be you? Hundreds. All over the world people want to be you or be with you. You lead a charmed life, son, it’s time you start appreciating it.”

“But at what cost, Jonathan? At what cost?” Tyler asked, ending the call abruptly before dropping his phone onto the lounge and walking away.

Seething, Tyler reached his arm back, balled his fist, and put it through the gyprock. Stepping back, Tyler watched through his anger-induced daze as white particles and dust floated carelessly to the floor.

Ten minutes and four suffocating laps of his apartment and Tyler was sure he was going to combust. The claustrophobia was closing in on him. Suddenly the walls seemed to close, the air too thick, the temperature too high. It was all too much. He had to get out of there before he went insane. He had to work some of the frustrations out of his system. Slipping his feet into the runners by the front door, Tyler grabbed a wet towel from the pile and headed down the stairs. Tyler knew that what he was about to do was forbidden by his coaching team, but they weren’t here. And forbidden or not, right now the only thing Tyler could think of to make it all bearable was to sweat it out of his system. If that meant the treadmill in his apartment building, then so be it.

Tyler strode into the gym with purpose and determination etched into his face. The truth was he looked like shit. Dark black circles gathered beneath his bloodshot eyes, his wide, firmly set jaw was covered by three days’ growth. But as Tyler clambered onto the treadmill and forced it to life, he started to jog away his frustrations and fears.

When Tyler first walked into the gym, people paused their own sweaty workouts to watch him, but that didn’t last. Once it was clear that he wasn’t there to be sociable, they returned to their own workouts. A few overly confident men stepped up on the bank of treadmills beside him and attempted to keep pace. It was obvious to others that these cocky challengers were testing themselves against Tyler. But he didn’t seem to notice. With his earbuds in and the iPod turned up as loud as he could stand, Tyler just ran and ran. One by one the challengers fell away, their heads hanging heavily as their shaky legs dismounted and wobbled their way towards the change rooms, their day done.

Half an hour and too many steps to count, the sweat was pouring off Tyler. His breath was laboured when a tiny, curvy brunette stepped into Tyler’s direct sight line.

“Stop!” she commanded. Then she froze where she stood as Tyler’s gaze entrapped her. Still he didn’t slow. “Stop now!” she repeated.

Tyler’s gaze swept over her and without a word he reached for the controls and began to slow the machine.

“I know what you’re doing. And if you don’t hurry up I’ll pull the cord, which will bring it to a grinding halt and you’ll fall flat on your face,” she threatened.

“No need,” he gasped as the treadmill levelled out and slowed to a normal walking pace.

Refusing to be intimidated by his size and charisma, she thrust the paper cup at him. “Drink it.” Tyler accepted the cup but eyed her warily. It had been beaten through his head that he wouldn’t accept anything that was given to him unless it was in a sealed bottle. Uncontaminated. Untampered with. Sensing his resistance, she refused to budge. “Don’t worry, I didn’t poison it.”

Pushing aside ingrained fears and long established habits, Tyler gulped down the cool water greedily. When he finished, Tyler punched a button on the treadmill and it slowed to a complete stop. Handing back the empty cup, Tyler looked down at her with apologetic eyes. “Thanks for that…”

“Tina. My name’s Tina.”

“Thanks, Tina.” He grinned and he saw the spark in her eyes.

As Tyler stepped from the treadmill, his legs gave way beneath him and he crumpled to the ground. “Shit,” Tyler swore as the cramping in his legs controlled his every move.

“Oh my God,” Tina exclaimed, running to his side. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just stupid,” Tyler admitted.

“Stupid?”

“Yep. I’m not supposed to run,” he admitted with a sigh.

“Yet you were doing a great job,” Tina commented.

“Were you watching me, Tina?” Tyler teased, raising a flirty eyebrow.

Tyler watched while Tina’s body burned. She flushed red from the top of her shoulders, up her neck and her cheeks as she took an embarrassing stumble backwards. “Well, someone had to. You looked like you were going to kill yourself.”

Tyler grunted. He’d been caught. The truth wasn’t that he was trying to kill himself but she wasn’t far wrong. He was trying to outrun the pain. Outrun the feeling of hopelessness. Outrun the overwhelming fear of being out of control. But he hadn’t succeeded. All he’d done was manage to get himself dehydrated with a pounding headache and legs that were screaming for ice and massage.

“Thanks, Tina,” he replied, not knowing what else to say. She was too young and too innocent to understand and there was no way in hell he going to be the one responsible for bursting her naivety bubble.

“Anytime.” She smiled widely back at him.

While Tyler sat on the floor and stretched out his screaming muscles, Tina silently wiped down his treadmill and collected her things. “You going to be okay to get upstairs?” Tina asked nervously.

“Absolutely.” Tyler smiled his widest smile.

“Okay. See you round.” Tina returned his smile and headed back to reality.

Just as she pushed open the door a howl of anguish bounced off the walls. Tyler saw her turn at the noise and lock her gaze on him. He’d managed to pull himself to his feet and was attempting to put one foot in front of the other. Seemingly not bothered by the string of colourful language tumbling from his mouth, Tina stepped to his side, wrapped an arm snugly around his waist and half led, half carried him towards the elevator.

“Sorry about this,” Tyler admitted through his embarrassment as the elevator banged shut and he slumped against the wall.

“For what?” Tina asked, looking up.

“Making you help me.”

“You didn’t make me. I offered.”

“Still, you shouldn’t have. I’m not safe to be around,” Tyler mumbled sadly.

“What do you mean?” Tina asked nervously, taking a small step backwards out of reach.

Tyler felt her pull away and reluctantly let her go. He knew why she was putting distance between them, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to do this on his own. “Not like that, Tina. I might be an asshole but I’m not a creep,” he assured her.

Tyler heard Tina let go of the breath she was holding. He shouldn’t have freaked her out like that. “I don’t get it. What am I missing? Why aren’t you safe? It’s kinda a weird thing to say,” Tina asked innocently.

Taking a wild guess at her age, Tyler realised she couldn’t have been any more than fifteen. Barely a teenager. And she was pretty in an unusual way. Her wide green eyes weren’t a shade that he’d ever seen before. They were a washed-out pale shade of forest green and from out of nowhere, Tyler felt the intense need to protect her. “If anyone saw us together, you’d be hounded. Your picture would show up in papers and rumours would be everywhere. Doesn’t even matter if they are true or not,” Tyler confessed with a shrug.

The elevator pinged, announcing it had arrived, and Tina slipped back to his side and helped him out of the elevator. They reached his door and Tyler unlocked it and pushed it open.

“You mean like Ava?” Tina blurted out.

Swallowing the lump that had mysteriously taken residence in his throat, Tyler managed to lift his head and meet Tina’s wide eyes. “Yes. Like Ava,” he conceded, each word physically causing him pain.

They stood for a few moments, caught in a daze, not sure what to say. After what felt like a lifetime, Tyler sighed heavily. “Thanks for your help, Tina. I was being a dick. Sorry you had to carry me upstairs—especially when I smell so bad.” Tyler smirked, sniffing his shirt and scrunching up his nose dramatically.

“Any time, Tyler. And don’t worry about me. I won’t say a word to anyone,” she promised, spinning on her heel and heading back down the corridor to the awaiting elevator. ”I swear!”

“Thanks, Tina,” Tyler replied, closing the door.

Ten minutes later, Tyler stood in the shower being pelted with icy cold water, trying to wash away the pain that racked his body. He could hear his phone ringing but ignored it and focused on his hair. When the anger had simmered down and all trace of the sweat had gone, he stepped from the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. Glancing at his reflection, Tyler saw a man he didn’t recognise. Sunken eyes and sadness were etched into his features. Deciding to fight back, Tyler soaped up and shaved off the stubble. With only two strokes left, a loud pounding at his door caught him off guard, causing him to nick his neck, leaving a smear of bright red blood. Swatting it away, Tyler stalked towards the door, annoyed.

Throwing open the door, Tyler didn’t say a word. Just stepped to the side and allowed the intruder to storm in. Instead of offering a polite greeting, Tyler vanished down the hallway and finished up shaving before pulling on a t-shirt and sweat pants and returning.