Nonviolent Communication - A Language of Life, Second Edition @Team LiB (24 page)

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Authors: by Marshall B. Rosenberg

BOOK: Nonviolent Communication - A Language of Life, Second Edition @Team LiB
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Index
A
accountability
for anger,
141–42
speech patterns that mask,
49–52
action language, positive,
69
action requests,
67
advice vs. empathy,
92–93
,
97–98
age role as behavior excuse,
20
aggression, in response to blame and judgment,
148
Amtssprache
,
19
,
140
analyses of others, as expressionof values and needs,
16
,
52–54
,
153
,
174
see also
judgments
anger and blame,
50
,
141–43
,
174–75
four steps to expressing,
148
NVC in Action dialogue,
154–59
stimulus vs. cause,
141–43
,
145–48
unfulfilled needs at core of,
144–45
appreciation,
75
,
185–92
approval, as motivator,
138
Arendt, Hannah,
19
Assailey, Nafez,
188–89
attention, focusing on NVC components,
3–4
,
6

 

Index
B
Babble-on-ians,
121–22
“bad"/“good" labels,
17–18
,
23
,
130
,
132
Bebermeyer, Ruth (songs), xii,
5
,
27–28
,
67
Becker, Ernest,
172
behavior excuses,
19–20
beliefs
as basis of value judgments,
17
about ethnic and racial groups,
143–46
about gender roles,
55–57
Bernanos, George,
21–22
blame
as punishment,
163
as response to negative messages,
94
boring conversations,
121–23
Bryson, Kelly,
121–22
Buber, Martin,
91–92
,
175–76
Buechner, Frederick,
25

 

Index
C
Campbell, Joseph,
100
cause vs. stimulus of feelings,
49
,
141–43
,
145–48
Chardin, Teilhard de,
170
Chuang-Tzu,
91
clinical language vs. NVC,
175–79
“cognitively arrested alternatives",
172
comparisons as judgment,
19
Compassionate Communication,
3
compassion blockers,
15–23
,
92–93
consciousness, at heart of NVC,
7
,
81
conscious vs. reactive responses,
3–4
,
6
counseling, NVC use in,
180–83
Croatia,
11
cultural conditioning,
171–72

 

Index
D
dangerous situations, NVC use in,
117–20
Deheisha Refugee Camp, NVC use in,
13–14
demands
as compassion blockers,
22–23
requests vs.,
79–81
“deserve", as life-alienating concept,
22
,
56
,
147
,
153
,
162
,
188
Detroit race riots of 1943,
1–2
diagnosis in psychotherapy,
175–79
docility,
22
,
23
,
171
do-nothing room,
168–69
duty, as motivator,
135–36
,
139–40

 

Index
E
education. See
schools
Eichmann, Adolph,
19
Eichmann in Jerusalem (Arendt),
19
emotional liberation,
57–60
empathy
vs. advice,
92–93
,
97–98
healing power of,
113–14
sustaining,
101–02
Epictetus,
49
evaluations. See
judgments
exaggerations,
31
excuses,
19–20
expectations,
50
expressing honestly, NVC
model,
7

 

Index
F
families, NVC use in,
8
,
152–53
expressing anger,
154–59
personal responsibility,
20–21
,
153
receiving empathically,
92
,
102
recognizing demands,
22
requests,
70
,
81–82
fear, as motivator,
5
,
17
,
135–36
feelings
as component of NVC model,
6
as component of requests,
74
,
76
cultural norms and,
98–99
expression of,
37–41
,
47–48
in expressions of appreciation,
186–88
vs. non-feelings,
37–38
,
41–43
responsibility for,
49–52
,
141–42
sensing others',
50–51
,
57–58
,
76
,
94–96
sensing our own,
50
,
133
,
174–75
vocabulary lists of,
43–46
see also
specific feelings
force
protective use in schools,
166–69
punitive vs. protective use of,
161–62
types of punitive use,
161–62
forgiveness, of self,
133–35
Fox, Julius,
191–93
“From Brett" (song),
84

 

Index
G
Gandhi, M.K.,
xv–xvi
,
2–3
,
129
gangs, NVC use with,
103–04
,
115–17
Gardner, Herb,
129
gender roles,
20
,
55–57
“Given To" (song),
5
giving from the heart,
1–6
,
17
,
51
“good"/“bad" labels,
17–18
,
23
,
130
,
132
“The Greatest Man I Never Knew" (song),
38
Greenberg, Dan,
18
group pressure as behavior excuse,
20
guilt, as motivator,
5
,
17
,
49–52
,
80
,
130–31
,
135–36
,
139
,
142–43

 

Index
H
Hammarskjold, Dag,
103
Harvey, O.J.,
17
“have to",
19–22
,
131
,
136
hierarchical societies and life-alienating communication,
23
Hillesum, Etty,
2
honesty, request for,
76–77
humility,
189–90
Humphrey, Holley,
92

 

Index
I
impulses and personal responsibility,
20
institutional policy as behavior excuse,
20
internal conflict resolution,
172–73
Irwin, Robert,
162
Israelis/Palestinians, NVC use with,
11
,
13–14
,
53–54
“I-Thou" relationship,
175–76

 

Index
J
Jesus,
193–95
Johnson, Wendell,
26
judgments
comparisons as,
18–19
in expressions of appreciation,
185–86
as expressions of unmet needs,
16
,
52–54
,
132–35
,
144–45
,
153
,
172–73
moralistic vs. value,
15–18
,
133
vs. observations,
26–32
as punishment,
130–31
,
163–64
as self-fulfilling prophecies,
148

 

Index
K
Keen, Sam,
184
Krishnamurti, J.,
28
Kushner, Harold,
93

 

Index
L
labeling,
15–18
,
28
see also
“good"
/
“bad" labels;
judgments
language
evaluation- vs. observation-based,
30–31
t
as obscurer of feelings and needs,
19–20
,
41–43
,
52
,
171–72
positive action,
69
process vs. static,
26
in psychotherapy,
175–79
of requests,
67–72
as violence promoter,
17–18
,
23
vocabulary of feeling states,
37
,
43–46
life-alienating communication,
15–23
,
144
,
185
listening skills.
See
receiving empathically

 

Index
M
Make Yourself Miserable (Greenberg),
18
marriage, NVC use in,
8
expressing feelings,
38–39
paraphrasing,
101
,
105–08
receiving empathically,
94–96
requests,
67–68
,
70
,
73
taking responsibility for feelings of others,
57–58
“The Mask" (poem),
36
May, Rollo,
37
McIntire, Reba,
38
medical practice, NVC use in,
10
Meir, Golda,
189
money, as motivator,
138
moralistic judgments,
15–18
,
133
motivators,
51–52
,
137–40
,
165
mourning, with NVC,
132–35

 

Index
N
needs
for appreciation,
190–92
as component of NVC model,
6
denial of,
55–57
,
171–72
exercises in acknowledging,
65–66
in expressions of appreciation,
186–88
feelings arise from,
43–46
,
52–54
,
132–33
,
143–45
judgments as expression of,
16
,
52–54
,
99
,
132–35
,
143–45
list of,
54–55
sensing others',
50–51
,
94–96
,
99
,
116–17
sensing our own,
50
,
137
,
143–45
,
174
negative messages
four options for hearing,
49–52
,
143–44
,
147
as inhibitors of communication,
39
,
67–69
,
148
needs underlying,
16
,
52–54
,
99
,
116–17
,
120–21
see also
judgments
Nigeria,
11
non-feelings vs. feelings,
37–38
nonviolence, defined,
2–3
Nonviolent Social Defense (Irwin),
162
NVC (Nonviolent Communication) basics,
3–7
,
81
,
94
NVC in Action dialogues overview,
12
counseling others,
180–83
Deheisha Refugee Camp,
13–14
dying man and wife,
105–08
father-son conflict,
154–59
“most arrogant speaker" message,
32–33
request of smoker friend,
85–87
teen pregnancy issue,
61–64
NVC model,
6–8
,
172–73

 

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