Nordin, Ruth Ann - South Dakota Series 02 - Bid for a Bride (18 page)

Eliza glanced at Brian and then turned her gaze back to John.

"So that Michael Taggart paid you in full?"

John snapped his fingers and rushed back to the bedroom.

Lucy wanted to ask Eliza what made for a big concern if John and Brian got paid but didn’t know how to without the situation seeming more awkward than it already was.

John came back into the kitchen with a hat and a shawl. After he handed Eliza the hat, he gave the shawl to Lucy who looked down at the blue knitting, thinking that a lot of care and love went into it.

Whoever made it loved their craft.

"It’s lovely, John!" Eliza said, placing the green hat on her head. "What do you think? Do I look pretty?"

He made a circle over his face and nodded.

She waved her hand at him. "You always know the right words to make a woman feel good about herself."

"Pa said the shawl matched your favorite dress," Brian told Lucy.

"It does. It’s beautiful." Looking at John, Lucy smiled. "Thank you."

John signed one of the few words Lucy recognized: welcome.

She waited to see if John would send any more private messages to Eliza but he didn’t. With a sigh, she turned around and placed the shawl on top of Brian’s carpetbag. She had already taken her carpetbag back home that morning since she’d been too anxious to sit still.

Reluctant, she returned to the group, not particularly pleased to spend time with people who chose to speak in code when she was around, but she figured she was the newcomer and because of that, she would have to deal with it. As much as she wanted to ask Brian to take her home right then and there, she refrained and got to the task of helping with the pie.

The rest of the afternoon passed without incident, and the only real indication that something wasn’t quite right was Brian’s unusual silence. He wasn’t a chatterbox like Eliza, but Lucy was used to hearing his voice during their meals so the absence of it was noticeable.

When it was time for them to leave, Brian picked up the carpetbag while Lucy put the shawl around her shoulders. The stroll back to the house was quiet, and she wasn’t sure what to say. With one hand, he held the bag and walking stick, and with his other one, he drew her close to his side. She glanced up at him, wondering what she might say or do to ease the tense silence between them, but her mind drew a blank so she kept quiet.

As soon as they entered the house, she put his things away and placing his dirty clothes into the laundry basket. She looked over her shoulder and saw that he was sitting on the bed, facing the bedroom door, his hands on his knees and shoulders slumped.

Setting the empty carpetbag on the floor, she went over to him.

"Brian —"

He reached for her and pulled her into his arms. Burying his face in her breasts, he clung to her and started crying.

Startled, she held him, unsure of what to do. She’d never seen a man cry before and didn’t know how to react. So she just stood there, running her fingers through his hair and waited for him to speak.

After a minute, he turned his face up toward hers. "I met my real father while I was in Sioux Falls."

He hadn’t mentioned his father beyond what he told her when they got married, so this piqued her interest. She quickly sat beside him and wrapped him in her arms while he placed his head back on her breasts. "What happened, Brian?"

"I hit him as hard as I could." His shoulders shook as he cried harder. "I wanted to kill him."

She held her breath and waited for him to continue. For nearly a minute, all he did was sob harder, and she let him cry, realizing it wouldn’t do any good to rush him but wanting to know what his father had done to drive him to the point where Brian would physically hurt him. In her time of knowing him, Brian never even raised his voice.

Once Brian’s sobs subsided, he continued, "I never felt that much hatred before. I wanted him to die like he made my mother die. I didn’t like being that angry, Lucy. It scared me. I thought I’d resolved everything in my past, but as soon as I heard his voice, it all came back and I couldn’t think straight. I just kept remembering my mother’s death and how he covered it up. He said the wolves got her. He set her body out in the woods and waited until an animal attacked her. Then he went into town and said the wolves got her. And I was so scared I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know who to tell, but I should have told someone."

"You were eight," she whispered. "You were just a child."

"He used to beat her, Lucy. When he got drunk, he’d come home and hurt her over the smallest thing.

She always told me to hide and cover my ears, but the day she died, I didn’t do it and that’s when I learned what he was doing. You want to know why he beat her until she died? Because I spilled water on his leather boots. It was an accident, and she kept telling him she’d get the stains out but he wouldn’t listen. He was looking for me, but she stopped him. She died for me, Lucy, and I hate him so much. I don’t know what to do with my anger. John said I needed to forgive him so I could stop being angry, but I don’t know how to do that. How am I supposed to forgive someone who did that?"

She kissed the top of his head and blinked back her tears. "I don’t know, Brian. I don’t know."

If she knew, she might be able to forgive her sister. She thought she might tell him about the night before she married Adam, but that would have to wait. Right now, she needed to help Brian.

She wasn’t sure how she could, except to listen and continue to hold him.

Brian’s tears came less frequent after awhile, but he continued to hold onto her so she kept gently rocking him back and forth.

She closed her eyes and rested her head on top of his. She wished she could take away his pain. It hurt to see him like this.

"Lucy?" he softly asked.

"Yes?"

He sat up and wiped his eyes. "I promise you that I’ll never drink any alcohol. That’s what made my father the way he was. My mother said he was a good man until he started drinking, and I was five when that happened. I’m not sure why he started, but I’ll never start. No matter what happens, I’ll never touch a drop of alcohol. I don’t want to become him."

She brushed his remaining tears from his cheeks. "I know you won’t, Brian."

He reached out and touched her face. When his fingers caressed her lips, he shifted forward and kissed her. Cupping his face in her hands, she kissed him in return. There seemed to be a strange desperation in his kiss, as if he was asking her if she could still love him after everything she’d learned about his past.

And the only answer she could give him was yes. She reached for the buttons of his shirt and undid them, a silent encouragement that she still loved him, that she wouldn’t think less of him.

Once they removed their clothes, they settled on the bed and she moved so that she was on top of him. She kissed every part of him, starting with his mouth and face and slowly moving down his neck and chest and then lower. She left no part untended to.

Her desire was for all of him, and she hoped by touching and kissing him all over, he’d understand that she accepted everything about him — the good, the bad, and the grays in between.

When she straddled him, she stroked his erection before taking him into her. He let out a soft moan and cupped her breasts as she moved her hips. He felt good inside her. She’d missed being with him this way, enjoying his body and letting him enjoy hers. In no hurry, she took her time, gripping his arms as she became aware of the pleasure building as she pressed herself against him.

It was reminiscent of the time they consummated their marriage — when she learned she could experience a sexual peak from this act. Since then, they’d discovered other ways for her to climax, but she still preferred this way and so she continued to move against him until she reached her peak.

Gasping, she stilled as her body contracted around him. He grabbed her hips and thrust deeper into her, giving out his own cry as he spilled his seed. She remained still on top of him while he throbbed inside her. When he was done, she got off of him and gathered the folded blanket at the end of the bed and draped it over them.

She settled her head on his shoulder and rested her hand on his chest. Idly playing with the fine hairs on his damp skin, she whispered, "I love you, Brian."

He wrapped her in his arms and kissed the top of her head. "I love you too, Lucy."

And there they remained, silent for the rest of the night.

The next morning, Lucy was in no hurry to get out of bed.

When Brian woke up, she stayed snuggled under the blanket, comfortable in his embrace.

"I’m at peace when I’m with you," he whispered, lazily brushing strands of her hair with his fingers.

Sighing, she closed her eyes. "I’m glad you’re home. Do you go to Sioux Falls often?"

"No. My uncle Shawn lives there, but I only went there once to visit him and his family."

"Good." She hated the idea he might go away often. Taking a deep breath, she got ready to tell him about her past. "Brian?"

"What is it?"

"There’s more I didn’t tell you about my sister. Not too much more but something important."

He stopped touching her hair and let his hand drop to her hip.

"Oh?"

"She tried to kill me." Her lower lip trembled, but she managed to get the whole story out without crying. It’d been hard enough to tell Eliza, and had she not been terrified the night of the storm when Eliza found her, she wouldn’t have said anything. But she knew she had to tell Brian. She tried to be quick while not leaving anything out. It wasn’t a part of her past she wanted to dwell on any more than Brian wanted to dwell on his, but she supposed it was cleansing to get it all out in the open. After she told him everything, she said, "That’s why I was anxious to marry Adam and get out of Minnesota.

Then he brought me here, and you know the rest."

He didn’t say anything for a long moment, so she patiently waited for him to absorb everything she’d just told him.

Keeping her eyes closed, she listened to his steady heartbeat and felt the gentle rise and fall of his chest.

"You think she wanted to marry Adam?" he finally asked.

She opened her eyes and shrugged. "I see no other reason she’d do that."

"Do you get angry about it?"

"Sometimes. I’m relieved to be away from her. I don’t miss being afraid of what she might do next."

Letting out a long sigh, he caressed her cheek. "You’re safe now."

"I know. It’s one of the many things I love about you."

He chuckled. "I’m glad I can be useful."

"Well, having you here to lift heavy items also helps."

"I’ll lift anything you want whenever you need it."

They settled into a comfortable silence, and after a half hour, they got dressed and went about their daily tasks. After they ate lunch, they put on their coats and went to the creek where he rested his head on her lap and listened as she read to him. The familiar activity erased the aching memory of being away from him. Once again, her life was complete.

***

On Sunday, Lucy and Brian went to John and Eliza’s. While the men were getting the wagon ready so they could go to church, she turned to Eliza who was putting the dishes away in the kitchen.

"Can I ask you about something that’s been troubling me?" Lucy asked, fingering her shawl and daring an uncertain glance in Eliza’s direction.

"Sure." Eliza set the last dish on the shelf and turned to her. "What is it?"

"When John and Brian returned, John signed something to you, and you looked over at Brian." She cleared her throat. "It occurred to me that you and John might have been exchanging something about Brian that I might want to know… seeing as how I’m his wife." She held her breath and wondered if Eliza would shed light on the matter.

Eliza stepped closer to her and lowered her voice. "Did Brian tell you about his father, the one who abandoned him when he was eight?" She nodded.

"And did he tell you he saw his father in Sioux Falls?" Lucy nodded again.

Eliza shrugged. "That’s all I know about it. Brian asked John not to tell me what happened. He told John he’d do it when he was ready. The same was true for you, and since you were right there in the kitchen, John thought it best we leave the matter alone. When Brian’s ready, he’ll talk." She paused.

"I’m sorry, Lucy. It was never our intention to leave you out of the family."

Feeling much better that it hadn’t been anything serious, Lucy smiled. "Thank you. I do want to be a part of the family, and I don’t want there to be any friction between us."

"Of course, you’re a part of the family." Eliza reached out to hug her. "You’ve made Brian happy. The poor boy was lonely. Being blind and a newcomer when he was eight weren’t things that endeared other children to him. Not that there were a lot of children. The town is a small one, after all. And he preferred to be alone most of the time. I think it was a hard adjustment he had to make. He did finally get a good friend, but Calvin got a job in Seattle and that was the end of that. I hoped Annabelle might return Brian’s affections when they spent some time together when they were sixteen, but she fancied Tom and married him instead. It’s just as well. I think she’s happier living in town than she’d be out here. She’s like Charity in that way. She enjoys being near all the activity."

Lucy bit her tongue so she wouldn’t make an unflattering comment regarding Annabelle. There was no need to tell Eliza or anyone else exactly what Annabelle thought of Brian.

Eliza smiled. "Though the circumstances that brought you here were less than ideal, I’m glad you’re here. I don’t think Brian would have gotten a wife any other way. Not with there being a lack of marriageable women in this town. Most men either post for a mail-order bride or go to a bigger town."