Norma Jean (19 page)

I’m about to really say the words when her phone starts ringing. She fishes it out of her pocket and her face goes completely pale. I snatch the phone out of her hand and read the name on the screen. Creed. “You better hope I don’t find you. You aren’t going to get saved a second time.” I say harshly into the receiver.

“Well hello there to you too Chance. How’s my girl doing?” I hear a lighter clinch shut in the background. A sense of foreboding overcomes me.

“She was my girl first, jackass. You stole her from me and proceeded to ruin her life.” I really want to reach through this damn thing and ring his neck.

“It was so easy too. Played right into my hands. I told you I get whatever I want. Now I own her and there’s nothing you can do about it.” He flicks the lighter open and close a few times and I flinch at every single one.

“You don’t own her fucker. She isn’t a piece of property. Besides her heart and soul belong to me.” Norma looks at me in anger and tries to take the phone out of my hands. I turn out of her reach putting a finger over my mouth to keep her quiet.

“Think what you want. Norma Jean knows who really loves her.” He goes silent for a minute flicking that damn lighter some more. “You tell her I’m taking my revenge for sleeping with you in my bed no less. I’ll see y’all later.” The phone goes silent and I hand it back to Norma.

She glares at me before stomping off towards the front of the house. I give it a minute before I follow behind her. I figure she is pissed because I egged him on. I can’t help it though. The guy was my best friend for years, I thought we were brothers for life. Only to find out he took the only person who could love me for me. And destroyed the girl I knew with his actions.

I find her beside her car smoking a cigarette. Naughty girl. I could have sworn she told me she quit.

Norma blows the smoke out and I take in the familiar menthol scent. It was something I missed about her. I used to run into smokers and inhale hoping to drag up old memories of her. Here's hoping I never have to do that again. "I thought you said you quit?" I ask her with a grin on my face.

Her cute little nose wrinkles and she glares at me, "I did. Then you show up. I can't decide whether to kill you or fuck you." she takes a drag looking away from me. "So I picked this back up to keep myself from doing either."

A chuckle forms and I bite my lip to keep it in. "You've already fucked me three times, smalls. Kind of think you're wasting your breath...and your lungs."

That earns me an eye roll. "You seduced me, big foot." she replays mockingly.

I step close to her, until I'm in her personal space. "Payback for all the times you seduced me." I bite her ear lobe, which always seems to make her crazy. And horny.

She gasps before her hands come up to clutch my shoulders. "Quit." her fingers loosen. "You know that makes me insane."

My lips trail down her neck before I raise my head to catch her eyes. "Good. You sh
ould always be insane for me." Right before I kiss her full lips I say, "I'm always fucking insane for you. You walk into the room and I look for things to bend you over." My lips meet hers frantically our tongues come out and tangle together.

I bend her back over the car as my hand snakes under her shirt. That’s when her mom comes running out of the house calling Norma’s name. We both look up at the hysterical woman with a phone gripped tightly in her hands. “What’s wrong mom?” Norma questions.

“Honey, your Grammy’s house is on fire. They thought they got her out on time but she didn’t make it.” The second she said fire all I hear is the lighter in the background of the phone conversation I had with Creed.

Chapter 13

Norma

It’s been a week since she died. I’m completely numb. I can’t remember anything truly important happening in my life without my Grammy being there. Every birthday party, graduations, holidays and award dinners. She has been there my entire life, and it’s so hard to imagine that she won’t ever be there again. I’ve lost an important part of my life and I just don’t know how to handle it.

My mom is a complete wreck. I’ve had to pick her up off the floor several times. Even big bad Marley is lost. I’ve never seen my cousin cry and the moment I told him, he started bawling like a baby. They are all looking at me like I’m not upset about it. But how do you tell them you’re the sole reason she is dead? You don’t.

The fire marshal said the fire was started by gasoline poured throughout the house and they found a lighter at the beginning of the trail. I saw the lighter, Creed bought it at a gas station in Arkadelphia one night. It was gold with black skulls painted across it. He used it to light his joints.

Though the fire wasn’t what killed her. It was a heart attack. I wonder if Creed came into her house and scared her so bad she died. I’m not sure though, my Grammy was a tough lady. I wonder how many people in this town sigh in relief that she died with all her secrets. Between you and me I think she used those secrets to pay her bills.

“Norma?” Chance calls from the living room of my mom’s house. He should have gone back to school. He shouldn’t have to be here taking care of me, while I take care of everyone else. I really don’t think Marley has left my living room in a week. My mom and aunt have hardly left her bedroom. I can hear them crying at all hours. I feel for them.

“Yeah?” I call back hoping he will come back here. I can’t face my family. I haven’t left my bedroom in a week. The funeral is today and I’m sitting in here in my underwear trying to find something to wear. My Grammy wouldn’t want us to wear black but then again the entire town will be there, if only to thank God their secrets are safe.

“You gotta get dressed smalls.” He states when he enters my bedroom. He looks good, decent. His short hair is artfully styled to make him look nice. His suit is very dark blue with a matching tie. His under shirt is white and peeks out of the jacket. His pants fit perfect exposing the muscles in his legs when he moves.

“I can’t decide what to wear.” I look up at him with the same expression I have given everyone else who has tried to talk to me. I have no emotion to give to them. I locked them down deep where no one can reach. Like I said, I’m numb.

“Wear whatever you want. I don’t think anyone will care. Your Grammy was famous in this town for being…out going. I doubt they expect you to wear black.” He grabs my hand and pulls me into his chest. I feel safe here, but how long will that last? How long before Creed takes everyone I love away from me?

“I know. I just want to look nice for her.” I snuggle into his arms and pretend I never have to leave. For some reason he doesn’t judge me for what happened, even though he knows. He knows who did this. We told the police Creed threatened my family and that the lighter found was his. I just hope they can find him before he hurts anyone else. That hope is wasted though. If Creed doesn’t want to be found, he won’t be found. He has low life’s all over this state who would hide him. I guess being in the drug game makes you allies for life. Which is complete bullshit.

“You will, Norma. She would just have wanted you to be there, that’s all. And to support your family and take care of them. You can do all of that, I know you can.” He smiles down at me and I try to lose myself in those hazel’s I love so much.

“How can I be there for them, if I’m the reason this happened.” I ask feeling a wall crack. I shouldn’t be talking about this. It will only make me feel and that’s something I never want to do again.

“Creed is the reason this happened. They say you don’t know a sociopath is a sociopath until it’s too late. Which is exactly what is going on here. He got too close to us and knows how to hurt us. He thinks we wronged him and now he’s trying to make us pay for it. That’s why he was flipping that damn lighter in the back ground while I was on the phone with him.” His eyes get really big and I can tell he didn’t mean to say that.

Now I do feel something. Complete and total hurt. “What?” I whisper out like maybe I can pretend he didn’t just say that.

“When I was on the phone with him, he was opening and closing that lighter. I didn’t think anything of it but apparently he was putting it to use.” He looks at me with pleading eyes. Chance knows me so well. He knows I’m about to go off on him, and I can’t say he’s wrong.

“You knew he had that lighter this whole time? We could have called someone! They could have stopped this!” I scream at him. I’m so fucking pissed I’m shaking all over and breathing really hard.

“I didn’t know he was going to set your grandmother’s house on fire, Norma! Jesus if I had known that I would have stopped him. Do you realize how many places he could have been at? I had no clue he was at your Grammy’s. I swear that to you Norma Jean.” He tries to grab my hand and I brush him off. I can’t look at him right now let alone touch him.

“It doesn’t matter! You could have prepared me! You knew he was going to set something on fire and kill someone! You knew!” I scream and scream at him not caring who hears us, even though I should be. My family is here and they loved the woman we are about to go see buried. They shouldn’t hear this.

“How did I know it was a threat, I thought he was just being annoying. He used to open and close lighters all the time and he knows it gets on my nerves. Norma if I had known he was going to set your Grammy’s house on fire I would have told you. I wouldn’t have let this happen to her. I promise you, girl. I promise.” I hear the truth in his words but I don’t care at this point. I just want to be mad and lash out at someone, and who more perfect
then the one I love the most. He needs to be far away from me, I’m dangerous to be in love with.

“You need to leave. I’ll see you
at the funeral.” I state apathetically. I turn away from him and suddenly realize I’m still in my underwear. I stalk past him and head into the bathroom slamming the door behind me. I stand in front of the mirror and stare at nothing. I am nothing.

Chance knocks on the door but I don’t answer. “I love yo
u smalls. Forever and always.” he simply states and I hear him head to the front and then out the door.

I crawl into the empty bathtub and finally cry for my Grammy. It
’s something she would hate but I don’t care. I’m alone and hurting.

*****

The preacher says some things about what a great woman she was. I don’t listen. I know how my Grammy was and while she was a great woman she had her flaws. But I don’t care about those, she loved me no matter what I looked like or how I acted. It was unconditional and besides my mom, no one has shown me that. I will miss her the rest of my life, but she will live on in my heart.

We throw handfuls of dirt and roses down to the coffin. My mom and aunt are crying their eyes out and Marley is holding himself up using me. Figured I would be the only one who could keep it together. Though if you think about it, I’ve been keeping it together for years.

I was the laughing stock of my school for an entire year. I could have gone in there and gunned down everyone but I didn’t. I pretended they weren’t there even though everything they said hurt. I was beaten and abused by Creed for nearly two years and I didn’t let it break me. I should have run screaming but that would have made me end up dead. I should have told someone who could do something, but again that would have made me end up dead. I survived.

I even survived my love for Chance Duncan. As harsh as it might sound its true. My love for him knew no bounds. We share the same soul and leaving him was the hardest fucking thing I have ever done. I survived him once and I sure as hell will do it again. Yeah I know, who would have thought I was this sappy.

“I’m so sorry for your loss, Norma.” Caden Harper, Chance’s roommate stands in front of me all of a sudden. I take in his blond hair and light blue eyes. He has laugh lines around his mouth and I smile on the inside. I wonder sometimes what it would be like to be that happy.

“Thank you.” I say but as I stare into his eyes I see pain. Lots of pain. I know it’s not for my Grammy or me, since he doesn’t know either of us. It leaves me wondering what this happy male could have gone through for there to be that much pain in his eyes. I squeeze his arm as he passes and he looks back at me surprised. “It will be okay. Whatever it is, it will be okay.”

His eyes cloud as if he might cry but he doesn’t. He nods his head and walks off towards the rest of his friends. I may never be okay or live a happy life, but I have faith that Caden will.

“Norma.” Comes Chance’s voice. I turn sharply and hit his chest with my face. He catches me before I fall on my butt.

“What the hell?” I say glaring up at him. His eyes roam over my black skirt and panty hose that show off my legs. My sweater is black and tight and his eyes stay a little too long over my breasts.

“I didn’t mean to startle you. I called your name a few times.” He grins and I want to grin with him, but I can’t muster up the strength.

“Sorry I was lost in thought.” I reply and look over at my mom. She is in her favorite dress. It’s sparkly and gold and looks amazing on her. She wore her heavy black coat over it. I turn back to Chance so my mom can have her goodbyes.