Northern Fascination (12 page)

She’d categorized it as a teenage crush but she’d fallen in love with him years ago. Somewhere inside, she’d avoided other men because she’d been waiting for Logan. But where was a future there?

She peered at the clock. Six-thirty in the morning. She was glad he’d stayed the night. She was glad he was in bed with her now.

She shifted, not wanting to wake him. But she needed to see him sleeping in her bed. To remember what it was like. Her heart seemed to turn over. He was so sexy. The dark stubble covering his jaw and cheek combined with his tousled hair was a good look on him. The covers had slipped down leaving his broad shoulders and part of his nicely muscled chest bare.

Desire bloomed low in her belly. Simply looking at him tripped her trigger. She leaned forward and kissed the side of his neck. She’d discovered last night it was a hot spot for him.

“Um,” he murmured, “good morning.”

“Morning,” she said, teasing her tongue against his shoulder.

He blinked his eyes open. “Are you—”

“I am.” She rubbed against him. “I thought we could hop in the shower. I could wash your back and any other hard-to-reach parts and you could do the same for me.”

He skimmed his hand over her bare hip to cup her buttock in his hand. “I like the way you think.”

A sudden, loud knocking on the door interrupted them. No one ever knocked on her door this time of the morning. She threw back the covers as another harsh rap sounded. “Coming,” she yelled. “Hold on a minute.”

Logan switched on the bedside lamp, a questioning look on his face.

“I don’t know,” Jenna said, grabbing her robe from a chair in the corner. Foreboding filled her as she shrugged into it and knotted it at her waist, already halfway across the room.

Logan was up and pulling on his jeans.

She hurried to the door and threw it open. Merrilee and Bull stood outside wearing grim expressions, tears shimmering in Merrilee’s eyes. Please God, don’t let anything have happened to her family was the first thought that raced through Jenna’s mind.

They came in, Bull closing the door behind them. Merrilee, regret and sympathy on her face, took Jenna’s hand in hers. She sensed Logan coming to stand at her shoulder.

“Is my family okay?”

“Yes, honey, your family’s fine. Everything’s going to be okay but, I don’t know how to tell you, there was a fire…” She motioned in the direction of the spa.

Jenna realized, as if all of her senses hadn’t been totally present, that the acrid smell of smoke had entered with Bull and Merrilee.

She knew, inside, before Merrilee even spoke the words.

“The spa is gone.”

L
OGAN WAITED, STANDING TO THE
side, feeling helpless, his heart breaking for Jenna as she stood surveying the smoldering shell that was her dream. Falling snow sizzled against the blackened timbers.

Most of town stood to one side, watching silently, a force of support.

“Does anybody know what happened?” she finally asked, breaking the silence.

Merrilee shook her head, “I’ve already called. A fire investigator from Anchorage is flying in today to figure it out.”

Jenna nodded and turned her back to the ruined structure. She looked faintly surprised to see all the people who’d gathered in the dark morning. Her eyes found Logan’s, connecting for a moment and then she looked back to the townspeople. “Thanks, everyone. I guess there’s not much we can do for now. I appreciate you all being here.”

“You need anything?” Leo asked, Nancy by his side.

“Thanks, Leo, but I’m good.”

The group began to disperse. Logan put his arm around her, inviting her to lean on him, draw strength from him. It wasn’t much, but it seemed the least and the most he could do under the circumstances. He glanced at her, trying to read what she wanted, what she needed. She sent him a thankful smile, reaching down to grasp his gloved hand in hers.

Sven ran his hand over his head. “You need some time or do you want to talk about this now?”

“Now is as good a time as any,” she said.

“Do you need me?” Merrilee said, her look encompassing both of them. Logan liked being included.

“No,” Jenna said, “you’ve got plenty to do between the B & B and the airstrip.” She squeezed his hand. “We’ll stop by later this morning.”

“Okay.”

Teddy came up, offering a quick, hard hug. “I’ll run breakfast and a thermos of coffee over. How many breakfasts do you need?”

“Just three.” Jenna looked at Logan. “Can you stay while I talk to Sven?”

If she wanted him there, he’d damn sure make time. “Sure.”

Teddy looked from Jenna to him. “Okay. Three breakfasts coming your way. Everybody good with the Alaskan?”

“That works for me.”

“Me, too.”

Sven simply nodded, his usual smile absent. Of course, he was looking at a couple of months of work lying in a rubble heap. Jenna looked at it as well, shock seeming to set in.

“Thanks, Teddy,” Logan said, taking over. Jenna needed coffee, food and a chair and not necessarily in that order.

The bitter smoke hung in the air as they walked down the sidewalk, past the dry goods store, the video/screening room, the bank, the taxidermy business that doubled as a mortuary, barber shop and Jenna’s current nail business.

“Looks like I’ll be there a while longer,” she said as they passed it.

They made the rest of the trip in silence. It wasn’t until they got to her cabin and were sitting at the kitchen table that Jenna squared her shoulders and looked at Sven. “When do you think you could start back on it?”

He cocked his head to one side. “Really, realistically, you’re looking at late spring. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but…”

Her enthusiasm aside for moving into her own home, Logan sympathized most with her lost revenue stream. Particularly as she would miss out on the lucrative Chrismoose festival and Christmas season.

Jenna picked up the conversation as she opened a can of cat food for Tama. “Because of the cold?”

“We mainly work interior jobs in the late fall and winter. That was why we had your interior scheduled for now. To start building from the outside all over again…” He shook his head. “Getting the materials here would be tough enough, logistically, and it’s really too cold to build this time of year. Not only are there equipment issues, but injuries are more likely to occur.”

Jenna tapped her finger against her chin, obviously running through some mental calculations. “I’ve got bookings that start in mid-December, so that means at least four months of lost income.”

“Will your insurance cover part of that? I’m sure this has happened somewhere down the line before,” Logan added.

Jenna shot him a grateful look. “I’ll check when I call this morning. Good idea.” She shook her head. “I’m not thinking so clearly right now.”

That was more than understandable.

There was a knock on the back door and Logan jumped up. “I’ll get it. You two keep talking.”

Teddy stood outside with a box. Logan stepped aside and she entered the kitchen, placing the parcel on the counter. Logan helped her unload the three to-go boxes and one of the biggest thermoses he’d ever seen.

“Thanks,” Logan said as Teddy started back to the door.

“Yeah, thanks,” Jenna offered from the kitchen table. “I’ll stop by and take care of the bill later.”

Teddy waved a dismissing hand. “It’s on the house, Lucky said. That’s the way we roll at Gus’s.”

“Then tell him I said thanks.”

Apparently that was the way they rolled in Good Riddance, Logan realized. People hadn’t been gathered around this morning to gawk, they’d been there to help in whatever way they could.

Logan closed the door behind Teddy and rounded up coffee cups. He brought everything to the table. Jenna shot him a grateful look.

Sven stood. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to take mine back to my place and start looking at some numbers.”

“No problem. We’ll talk later.”

When the door closed behind Sven, Logan automatically reached for Jenna and drew her to him, wrapping his arms around her. He’d been wanting to hold her from the moment Merrilee had broken the news. She rested her head against his chest, leaning into him.

“You were pretty amazing this morning.” She’d displayed both strength and grace under extenuating circumstances.

“Thank you, Logan, for staying. For being here.”

“Whatever you need, Jenna. Whatever you need.” They stayed that way for several moments, him holding her, her leaning into him. He smoothed his hand over her head. “I know how important the new business was to you,” he said against her hair.

She nodded. “It was. It is. I’ll regroup and it’ll all work out. The main thing is that no one was hurt. That would’ve been hard to deal with.”

“I’m impressed with how calm you are.”

“Really?” She offered a smile, one that made him feel as if he was turning inside out. “I guess I just learned early on that life happens and you just have to roll with it.”

“That’s a good philosophy.”

“It’s worked okay for me. By the way, your eggs are getting cold.”

He didn’t give a damn about his eggs or anything else but her right now, but maybe she was hungry. “Which means your eggs are getting cold, too.”

She traced the line of his jaw with her fingertip, a soft look entering her eyes. “I’m not particularly interested in eggs, cold or otherwise, right now.” Her expression said she wanted him to make her forget her dreams had just gone up in smoke. Her eyes asked him to distract her until she was ready to deal with the loss.

For one horrible, traitorous moment, he thought that now with the spa gone, she wasn’t tied here. But that wasn’t true. Building or not, this was clearly where she belonged.

“Let’s go back to bed,” he said, leading her toward the bedroom.

He’d give her whatever she needed. Until he had to leave.

J
ENNA LAY IN THE DARK
, in her bed, curled next to Logan. She could tell by his breathing he was awake as well. Neither one of them had slept all night. It was as if neither of them wanted to squander their last few precious hours on sleep.

They’d talked about life, their families, their futures. Logan had told her very honestly he would be expected to marry and produce an heir. It was the Jeffries way. The very thought made her heart ache to an almost unbearable degree—the thought of someone else sharing his life, his dreams, his bed, his future. But at least he’d been honest. They’d alternately talked and made love throughout the night. They’d been rough and needy one time, tender and romantic the next. They’d tried to cram the rest of a lifetime into those last few hours.

“Logan?”

“Yes?”

“Did you sleep any?”

“No. You?”

“None.”

Following her own path, Jenna spoke the words that wouldn’t be contained any longer. “I love you, Logan. I’ve loved you for a long time.”

Her words settled between them, like golden leaves that drifted down to cover the sidewalk on an autumn day.

“Jenna.” His voice was even and quiet. “You know I have to leave.”

She hadn’t told him to elicit a response. She’d simply told him because love was a gift to be given. “This isn’t about you staying or leaving. It just is what it is.”

“You know I care about you.”

“I know that.” And she did. She felt it in his touch, in the way he looked at her, in the strength of his arms around her yesterday after the fire. “I’ve known since the day you sent those roses.”

“You have?”

She loved him, but he could be truly clueless. “You know, Logan, for such a smart man…”

He laughed softly in the dark. “I know.”

“You know what Merrilee told me yesterday?” She splayed her fingers against his chest, touching him while she could. “She knew exactly what your scout wanted when he came to check out the town. She knew his purpose from the moment he stepped in the door. But you threw her. She didn’t associate you with the gold. You know why? Because she sensed why you were really here. She knew you were here for me. So did everyone else in town.”

He sighed. “Maybe every couple of months we could—”

“No, Logan, that’s no way to live, like we’re one another’s quarterly obligation that gets penciled in on the schedule. We both deserve more than that.”

“I thought you said you loved me.”

“I do. I always will.” What she felt for him ran soul-deep. “But that’s not fair to whomever you start to date when you get back. And I’m certainly not going to be the woman on the side. I either want all of you or none at all.”

“Fair enough. Have you ever thought that the spa burned down for a reason? That you’re free to go?”

Of course the thought had crossed her mind, but she’d concluded otherwise. “I’m free to go regardless, Logan. I choose to be here because this is where my heart belongs. You are who my heart belongs to, but this is the physical mailing address attached to that organ.”

“You’ll let me know on that other issue?” The condom had broken last night and she was having a hard time knowing if that was good or bad. Time would tell.

“Of course I’ll let you know. And we need to be clear that I’d never deny you access to your child, but I will also never turn my child over to become a little Jeffries automaton.”

“Just let me know.” She’d hurt him with that last bit. She hadn’t meant to but dammit, she was hurting, too.

She only knew one thing that could heal them both. Granted it wouldn’t change the outcome, but it would heal the hurt.

“Logan, one last time—”

He was already reaching for her before she got the last word out of her mouth. “Make love to me like you’re never going to make love to me again.”

And there in the dark, silently, he did. With touches and kisses, they expressed something that ran far deeper than words. Jenna gave him a part of her to carry with him, a part of her that would always be with him. And Logan, her sweet, sweet Logan, so fearful of his own feelings, gave her the same, a measure of love that refused to be compromised by time, distance or circumstances.

L
OGAN CLIMBED ONBOARD THE
puddle jumper and didn’t look back. Dalton climbed into the pilot’s seat and readied them for take-off.

The normally exuberant sky jockey was quiet, which suited Logan just fine. He patted his laptop for probably the fifth time since checking out of his room. He had the unshakeable sense of leaving something important behind.

Jenna hadn’t come to the airstrip to see him off. They’d exchanged their goodbyes privately this morning. He’d be damn glad to shake the dust of Good Riddance from his feet. Sure he’d seen the charm of the town. He’d felt the same draw, the sense of camaraderie that was so seductive to the citizens that they’d opt to struggle financially just to stay there. He’d had a taste of it. Still, this morning, everyone he’d met had looked at him with a measure of pity in their eyes. Anger? Censure? Disappointment? He could handle all of that, but
pity?

That was fine. Perhaps they’d all been in situations that allowed them to just up and move to the middle of the Alaskan wilds. Not a damn one of them walked in his shoes. None of them understood his life was solidly grounded in Atlanta, full of obligation and expectation.

The day, as was befitting his mood, was gray. The clouds hung low and dark. The little plane, cleared for take-off, rolled down the runway and lifted into the overcast morning.

Good riddance to Good Riddance.

Logan pulled out the spread sheets for Barton and reviewed them during the trip to Anchorage. He already knew the information—it was his job to know the numbers—but he refreshed himself once again.

Soon enough Dalton landed the little plane at Anchorage. He climbed out onto the tarmac and handed Logan’s luggage off to him.

“Take care of her,” Logan said, speaking from his heart.

Dalton looked momentarily surprised and then he broke out his familiar grin. “Jenna’s going to be fine. You’re the one we’re all worried about.”

What was there to say to that? Nothing.

Logan turned and walked away.

N
ELSON FINISHED UP
at the office, impatience coursing through him like the frozen river beginning to thaw in spring.

He poked his head in the doorway of Dr. Skye’s office. She sat behind the desk, busily making notes. Looking up, she smiled wearily, her curly red hair its usual mess. It hadn’t always been thus.

Nelson thought how nothing stayed the same. When Skye had come to Good Riddance a year ago as a temporary fill-in for the town’s regular doctor, she’d been a different woman, her hair rigid and straightened into submission because that’s the way she’d been told it should be.

“You’ve been somewhere else all day,” she said, setting aside her pen.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think—”

“Nelson, it wasn’t a complaint. I was merely making an observation. Do you want to talk about it?”

He shook his head. “It is nice of you to offer but the answers I seek aren’t to be found within these walls.”

She had come to know him as a good and trusted friend. Her respect for the boundaries of that friendship were evident as she acknowledged his unspoken quandary. “Then I hope you find the answers you seek wherever they may be.”

“Thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She picked up her pen, already switching gears back to the patient charts before her. “Have a good evening, Nelson.”

“You, too.”

Nelson was shrugging into his jacket when the office door opened and Dalton strolled in. “Is my wife almost ready to call it a day?”

“Close but no cigar.”

Dalton grinned. “Are we going to see you at dinner tonight?”

“Not tonight.”

“Hot date?”

Nelson thought of the thermal lake and smiled. “More like warm date.”

“Enjoy Mirror Lake.” Nelson’s surprise must’ve shown on his face. “After all these years, I get the subtle inside humor.”

“Yes, you do. Keep it under wraps if you would—my location that is, not the getting it,” Nelson added.

“You’ve got it.”

Nelson left the clinic, got in his truck and headed out of town, eager to reach the lake and Ellie.

Nelson had actually thought about discussing his dilemma with Dalton but Dalton wouldn’t fully understand because of the culture difference. However, Dalton would know what it was like to make a choice that everyone in your family disapproved of. In their own way, Dalton’s family had done the same thing to him, ostracizing him when he’d given up his corporate job and his fiancée to move to Alaska and be a bush pilot. Nelson supposed that in every culture a man could find a clash between tradition and free will.

He turned off of the highway and bumped along the rough track leading to the lake. It didn’t look as if anyone had been here before him. He turned the corner in the road and sure enough, Ellie’s jeep wasn’t anywhere to be seen. He’d obviously beaten her here.

He got out of his truck and released his hair from the leather thong tying it back. The wind blew through it, shifting it about his shoulders and across his face, a caress of the elements.

He was not a man to either quick or impulsive actions. He never had been. He had been born under the mark of the bear. It was his nature to contemplate, hibernate inside himself until he found the answers he sought to move forward. For all his uncertainty and indecision, he did know one thing with absolute surety. When Ellie Lightfoot arrived, he intended to kiss her.

J
ENNA WALKED DOWN THE
sidewalk, soaking up the last of the sun’s rays. The days were getting shorter and shorter, the nights longer and longer.

Donna was in the dry goods store. Jenna waved at both her and Nancy. Merrilee fell into step beside her. “How’re you doing?”

“I miss him.”

“I know, honey, I know.”

“I understand that he’s got to follow his own path, but I sure wish he’d wake up sooner rather than later.” Even keeping busy with the insurance company, dealing with the fire damage and contacting everyone from clients to vendors about the delayed opening didn’t keep Jenna from missing him. And she was simply exhausted these days.

Merrilee rubbed her arm. “Bull didn’t give up on me. You can’t give up on him, Jenna. Anyway, what else are you going to do? Just the same thing you’re doing now. So you might as well not give up.”

“Hope springs eternal in the hearts of lovers and fools.”

Merrilee laughed. “Darlin’, I believe that’d be hope springs eternal in the human breast.”

“I like my version better.”

“Okeydokey. Where are you off to?”

“I’ve got an appointment with Skye. I’ve been a little under the weather.”

“Things are dead over at the airstrip. I’ll go with you if you want me to.”

Jenna was pretty sure she knew why she was feeling under the weather and having Merrilee along was just fine with her. Logan should be the one here but that obviously wouldn’t be the case.

Ten minutes later Jenna was sitting back in the exam room on the patient table while Merrilee had taken the straight chair in the corner.

Skye came in, Jenna’s chart in hand. Other than a wicked cold last year, Jenna had never been in to see Skye professionally. “So, you’re feeling a little under the weather?”

“Can you run a pregnancy test?” Jenna said, cutting to the chase.

It was a testimony to Skye’s professionalism that she merely blinked her surprise before she recovered and slipped back into doctor mode. “Certainly.”

Merrilee, however, after a moment of stunned silence said, “Merciful heavens. Didn’t you use…?”

“One broke.”

“Well, let’s find out. How late are you?”

“I don’t really know. I don’t keep track because I hadn’t been sexually active until lately.”

“Okay, well, we’ll start with a urine test. If you can step into the bathroom and give us a sample, we’ll give you an answer.”

Jenna stepped into the bathroom and made the requested urine donation.

“Honey, I can’t believe you didn’t mention this,” Merrilee said when Jenna came back into the room.

Sitting up on the exam table, Jenna shrugged. “There really hasn’t been anything to mention—”

Skye came in. She looked at Jenna, a smile in her eyes. “Well, you’d better start thinking about names. It’s positive. You’re going to be a mother.”

Even though she’d suspected, in fact she’d been pretty sure, Jenna still felt stunned. “I’m pregnant?”

“You’re pregnant,” Skye said.

“You’re pregnant,” Merrilee echoed as if she couldn’t quite believe it.

She was going to have a baby.

And not just any baby. Logan’s baby.

L
OGAN SAT AT HIS DESK AND
thought about calling. Or emailing. Or Skyping. He’d been back four weeks. Make that four, long miserable weeks.

Nothing had changed at the office. His condo remained the same. His family was just as uptight and remote as ever. So, if nothing in his life had changed, then why the hell was everything so different?

Because he was different. He missed Jenna. It was as if the sun had gone out of his life. He rubbed his hand over his forehead. He’d waited twelve years, he’d never looked her up when she was in Marietta because he’d been scared. He’d known she was there and it had left him vulnerable. But once she was safely in Alaska, she’d become safe, unavailable. It was pretty damn impossible to be with someone over a thousand miles away.

Once that piece clicked, it was as if the dominoes had all fallen into place. What had Bull Swenson told him? That he’d waited on Merrilee, but finally it was up to her? Jenna had approached him years ago and then she’d waited. She was still waiting and now it was up to him. Now he got the joke and the look that had passed between Merrilee and Bull the evening he’d declared he didn’t want to keep Jenna waiting too long. He’d kept her waiting for years. They’d all clearly seen what he’d been too blind to see—that he and Jenna belonged together. He got it…finally. She was independent, definitely her own woman, and she loved him. Equally important, hell, more importantly, he loved her. He finally knew how he felt about her—he loved her madly, passionately, desperately. She made him want to slay dragons and conquer the world, as long as he got to wake up next to her every morning. No, he didn’t want her attached at the hip, but he did want her, make that need her, in his life. That much was apparent—even to him, which was saying something. All his life he’d just sort of gone along with what he was supposed to do. Now he needed to decide what he wanted to do. And at the top of that list was figuring out how to make Jenna a part of his life.