Not About Love (This Love Book 2) (15 page)

“Jokes asides, Boyd…the real reason I think we should stop seeing each other is because I think we’re too different.”

“Different? How?” I wasn’t following her.

“Yeah, we’re different.” She hesitated. “You’re this fitness guru/social media bad boy and I’m…I’m this.” She pointed at her body.

“This…what? What are you talking about? What I see is this perfect body of yours that I can’t get enough of. Do you know how turned on you make me?” She smiled coyly, but didn’t look a hundred percent convinced. “You have everything that’s desirable in a woman. You have the three Bs, lady, the three Bs that count—at least to me.”

“The three Bs? What is that supposed to mean?” I smiled, but honestly, I was kind of making that up. It was just the first three things that came to mind when I thought of her.

“Boobs, brains, and beauty.” She laughed, and I bit her shoulder.

“You think I’m beautiful?”

Aw, man.
Why were all women like that? Did she really think she wasn’t beautiful? She needed a self-esteem boost.

“What are you getting at, woman? Of course I think you’re beautiful.”

“But I’m not fit like any of the girls you hang out with. I’m too…curvy.”
So that’s it
.

I frowned, and she replied with a look similar to mine.

“You seem confused. Am I hanging out with any of them skinny bitches or am I here, in your bed, worshipping your body?”

“Touché.” She bit her bottom lip and I wanted to bite it, too, but there was so much more I wanted to do to her. I needed to make her understand what she did to me. I went back to kissing and nibbling the skin over her stomach, but stopped suddenly. There was a fourth thing I loved about her.

“Ahhh!” I exclaimed.

“What is it?”

“I knew there was something else—your butt. You don’t have the three Bs, you have
four
. I forgot your butt! How could I?” I smiled and gave her a peck on the lips.

“Yeah, seriously. How dare you?” she joked. I knew I was being silly, but she seemed like she was enjoying it, and it distracted her from her silly thoughts. How could she think I liked her less than any of those other girls? They had nothing on her. She was the only one I kept coming back to, even when I shouldn’t have, because I knew better. I couldn’t stop myself. I couldn’t get enough of her.

“My apologies. Turn around and let me ask for forgiveness.”

She broke into a fit of giggles and did as I asked.

I HAD ALWAYS THOUGHT THE
smartest thing I’d done was decide to have my office in the same building as my apartment, but now it had additional perks.

Every morning I would get a visit from Boyd on his way out. He didn’t have a very strict schedule, but he would usually leave around ten. Sometimes, he’d text me during the day and we’d either make plans for the evening or he’d send something smutty to get me all riled up.

Jeez, that kind of sounds like dating
. I dismissed the thought. I just had a friend visiting, a dear friend who came with perks—quite impressive…
perks
.

I hadn’t called him when he’d first arrived in Amsterdam. I knew he was busy, and I didn’t want to seem overly eager. It wasn’t really a strategy, per se, but I guess it worked, because just a couple days later, he called.

Since then, we had spent every night together, either at my place or his.

A shiver ran through me as I remembered what we had done the night before. The man knew how to torture me in the best of ways, but it wasn’t just that. Being around him was easy, which I had never expected. We liked to go out together and eat out…and then close the night eating each other out.

I squeezed my legs together and felt my center pulsating at the thought of him.

And then he appeared in the door of my studio.

Good lord
.

He closed the door behind him. Sometimes, he liked to stop and say hello and bring me presents…of the orgasm variety. Unless I was slammed with work, I really had no objections. I loved these kinds of presents.

A godlike man burying his head between my legs mid-morning?

Sign me up
. I felt wonderful after the amazing orgasm rush. I felt energized and alert; it was better than coffee.

Coffee. That’s what I smelled. He was holding a cup of black heaven.

“Is that for me?” I asked.

He nodded and gave me a shy smile. I loved the rare bashful look in his eyes.

“Thank you, kind sir. If you keep being the perfect guest, I’ll allow you to stay as long as you want.” I smiled at him, but he didn’t say a word, and for a moment I thought I might have said something wrong. Then I noticed the look in his eyes.

Ahhh, he has plans for me
. Sweet Tennessee gods, thank you for this man. He placed the coffee cup on my desk and then grabbed my hand and pulled me out of my chair. He took me in his arms and gave me a hot, wet kiss. His hands traveled to my ass, and he gave it a good squeeze. He seemed to be quite fond of my ass, and I had absolutely no objections in that regard. For once in my life, I had someone who appreciated the size of it.

“I just wanted to give you a proper goodbye,” he said with an irresistible wink, interrupting the kiss. It was too soon. I needed more. My shoulders sank, and I made a face. “Now, now, wipe that frown away. I’m sorry I can’t stay and make you come, sweetheart, but I need to get going.”

I let out a sigh. “Where are you going?”

“Gym and then I’m getting a haircut.”

I frowned. “Huh?”

“It’s too long, and it’s getting in my eyes.” He brushed a strand of hair out of his face. I ran my fingers through his locks with one hand and put the other on the back of his head, examining the length. It was still pretty short in the back; it was just longer in the front.

“What?” he asked, puzzled.

“Just…don’t go too short. Leave me something to hold on to,” I breathed out, pulling his hair ever so slightly, my eyes fixed on his perfectly shaped mouth.

“I like the way you think, woman.”

He placed his hands on my hips and pulled me to him, our bodies flush, his smell overpowering my senses. Was the need for him ever going to go away? I couldn’t hold back. I had to kiss him again.

The wicked grin that spread across his face was so delicious, it made me think stupid things I shouldn’t have even considered…like keeping him—but he wasn’t mine to keep, and he wasn’t really what I needed. He was just what I wanted, what my body couldn’t stop wanting.

He’s not mine
. Even as I thought it, he swooped in and kissed me, taking me by surprise. It was a slow, sweet kiss, the kind that means a little more than just
You’re my favorite fuck buddy.
It was the kind of kiss that reminded me what it meant to have feelings for someone. My chest felt heavy, but I blamed it on the fact that I was pressed against his hard body and had gotten so caught up in his delicious minty-tasting mouth and his eager tongue that I forgot to breathe. He broke the kiss, again, and let go of me.

“Not too short. Duly noted.” He opened the door and left, leaving me frustrated and unfocused. My phone buzzed, and I grabbed it to check the text.

I love nothing more than hearing your strangled moans while I make you come in your office.

I blushed furiously. Thank God I was alone.

I promise to make it up to you tomorrow.

Like I said, the man liked to get me all riled up. I groaned in frustration and went back to what I had been working on.

* * *

“How’s my brother-in-law?” Ella asked during a Skype call.

I bit my lip and felt embarrassment color my cheeks. I would never get used to discussing Boyd with her, no matter how many times she asked me about him. Sure, I liked to tease her about Lou, but their situation was completely different.

“So?”

“I have two words for you: no comment,” I replied, refusing to look at the screen.

“Oh, Ally! You like him! If you keep trying to deny it, I might even think you love him! You and Boyd! Who would have guessed?”

“Stop!” I said, holding my hand up. “This conversation will be ended stat if you mention the L word one more time. Let’s keep it clean, shall we?”

She rolled her eyes. “Good gosh, you’re so stubborn.”

“Wrong words, young lady.”

“Fine! I won’t mention the
L word
any more! But you have to admit you like him.”

There was no way of hiding it. I did like him. I accepted defeat. “You’re right. I do like him. I don’t like it, Ella. I haven’t liked someone in so long,” I admitted.

“I know,” Ella replied. “But I don’t understand why you want to be so stubborn about it.”

“Arghh!” I yelled out in frustration.

“Look, you just gotta stop fighting it. Remember what you used to tell me about Lou? To give him a spin? Well, I followed your advice and look at me now.”

“Yeah, you look
radiant
,” I teased her, but it was the truth. She radiated happiness. “But, come on…things between you and Lou were always different. Even when there wasn’t anything going on, I could tell there was
something
between the two of you. Boyd and I aren’t like that. It’s purely physical, and I’ve
spun
him a few times already. I’m trying to get rid of him.” 
If only my body would learn how to turn him down.

“You say that, but I know deep in your heart you don’t want to.”

As much as it pained me to admit it, she was right. I did like having him around. The nights were bliss, as were the mornings, but how long could this go on?

Indefinitely.

The word popped up in my head and I wished I could destroy it with a sledgehammer. It sounded so familiar. Indefinitely…it took me forever to remember why. It was the very last word from the movie
Notting Hill
, which I loved—but we weren’t Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant. There wasn’t a love story here. He was just in Amsterdam for the time being because he was opening a gym. I was sure he was going to leave as soon as his latest venture was finished. He had a life away from here, and I was just a welcome distraction.

“I’ve seen you two together…the chemistry is off the charts.” She wasn’t wrong about that. “Who knows, it might not be love now, but it could grow into that.”

“Whatever is going on between us is not about love. It’s just sex, plain and simple. You’ve got it wrong,” I replied in a bitter tone, but my heart was beating so fast, I knew it was already too late. My heart was starting to believe this could work out. My stupid heart wanted a happy ending so badly, but I knew happy endings were just myths our heads were filled with when we were kids.

I decided fairytales should be banned.

I had everything I wanted. I didn’t need anyone. Things were just fine as they were…so why did my heart feel the need to remind me that it could be so much more? It didn’t work that way. I swallowed the knot in my throat as tears filled my eyes. I stood up so she couldn’t see me crying and wiped my tears away.

“Ella, I have to get back to work. I’ve got a lot to do.”

“Hey, I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry, Ally. I won’t talk about him any more if it bothers you,” she replied in a resigned tone.

“No, it’s fine. I’m fine. But honestly, there’s nothing else going on, so please stop asking…don’t put any ideas in my head, okay?” She nodded, and after a bit we said goodbye. I tried to forget all the things Ella had said about me and Boyd, but in a way, it was too late. My heart was already on a high, and I had to keep telling myself to be realistic. We were having fun now, but pretty soon he’d go back home and then…who knew when we’d see each other again. I tried to pretend the idea of him leaving didn’t make me immensely sad.

* * *

“It’s my last night in town, let’s go out to celebrate,” Boyd said. A week had gone by since my quasi-meltdown during the Skype call with Ella.

I wasn’t ready for him to leave. His stay had been shorter than expected. Everything had gone according to plan while he was overseeing the construction of the gym—
seriously,
when does that
ever
happen?
—and he had changed his ticket to go take care of some stuff in New York. He said he’d be back later in the summer, but that wasn’t enough to cheer me up. The week had been awful. I had tried to make excuses almost every day, but had failed.