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Authors: Cassandra Gannon

BOOK: Not Another Vampire Book
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Glowing
black eyes took in the scene before him with something like astonishment.  His
gaze went from Kara to Slade and then back, again.  “Kara Lynn, are you hurt?”

He
looked as surprised to ask the question as she was to hear it.

“No.” 
She shook her head.  “I’m okay.” 
Relatively speaking
.

“Stay
away from her, you Wizard Warlock bastard!”  Slade recovered from his hobbling
and focused on his mortal enemy.  Or maybe his
im
mortal enemy.  Kara
wasn’t too clear on that part of the mythos, yet.  “Fear not, Eternal-One.  I
shall protect you from this monster.”

Damien
scowled down at Kara.  “
You’re
his Eternal-One?”

“No! 
Of course not.  He’s just an idiot.”

Damien
blinked.  He glanced around the barn, like he was expecting something to
happen.  Expecting Melessa, maybe.  Damien seemed to be the brightest monkey in
this cage.  He had to know that something was wrong with this plot twist.

“She
is my darling, little woman.”  Slade vowed, passionately.  “I will die before I
let you harm her!”

Kara
gaped at him.  “Your
little
woman?
”  Jesus.  This guy was the
hero
of the book?

“You
and the Vampires have killed countless woman of my race.  The Wizard Warlocks
are all but extinct.  Why should I care for a Vampire’s mate?”

“I’m
not his mate.”

Damien
and Slade both frowned at her as if she’d interrupted their scripted pissing
contest.

Slade
looked furious.

Damien
still looked baffled.  “Then why does he believe otherwise?  Vampires rarely
make mistakes about such things.”

“Exactly!” 
Slade nodded, siding with his nemesis over Kara.  “The girl is overwrought. 
She doesn’t know what she’s saying.  Ignore her hysterical prattle.  She is
just a human.  This is between us, Damien.”

She
really could grow to detest that guy

Damien
arched a brow.  “The woman seems like more than just a human to me.”  His
strange black eyes found her, again.  “She is… different.  I can feel it.”

“Thank
you.”  At least
someone
got it.

“Like
all Wizard Warlocks, you speak in lies.”  Not taking his attention off Damien,
Slade bent down to try and capture Kara, again.  “Come here, my Eternal-One. 
Let me protect you from this monster.”  Apparently deciding she was mentally
deficient, he made a ‘here kitty, kitty’ gesture with his hand, trying to coax
her forward.

She
scuttled out of range.  In that second, Kara knew she had two options:  Slade or
Damien.

It
wasn’t really much of a selection.  They were both jerks.  Still, given the
option of Cro-Magnon man or Vlad the Imapler, she already knew which guy she
felt safer with.  It was instincts more than logic, but what the hell?  Kara
bounded to her feet, clutching the manuscript to her chest.

Then
she very deliberately stepped to Damien’s side of the room.

Slade’s
eyes widened to the size of Frisbees at her decision.  The total surprise on
his chauvinistic face made the choice entirely worth it.  Adonis-like beauty
collapsed into lines of distress.  Now,
his
gaze cut around the
perimeter of the room, like he suspected he was possibly on a reality show and
searching for the hidden camera.

But
his reaction still had nothing on Damien’s amazement.  His refined jaw nearly
hit the floor as she moved beside him.  Kara barely reached his shoulder, but
she had the weird feeling that she could have nudged Damien gently and he would
have toppled right over.  His patrician features lost their savage refinery as
he gaped at her.  “What in Gods’ name are you doing, woman?”  He blurted out.

“I’m
joining Team Evil.  Deal with it.”

“But,
you can’t.”  Damien glanced over at Slade for a ruling.  The two of them
weren’t really attacking each other with blunt instruments, the way you’d
expect.  Tanya St. Clair must have just written them threatening and menacing
this chapter.  No real fight.  They weren’t sure what to do with Kara screwing
up their programming.

Slade
appeared apoplectic.  “Karalynn, you’re behaving irrationally.  You must listen
and come hide behind me.  Damien is dangerous.  Nothing but an evil, hollow
creature
.”

Van
Helsing didn’t like being called that.  Damien’s whole body stiffened, even as he
shifted slightly away from Kara and took a step towards Slade.

“Don’t
hurt him.”  She caught hold of Damien’s arm.  The last thing she needed was
Slade staked through the heart.  Kara wasn’t sure what would happen if the hero
wound up dead at the very start of the book.  It might ruin her changes to get
home.

Damien
stopped short and frowned down at her hand.

She
quickly removed it from his sleeve.  “Don’t hurt him.”  She repeated.  “Slade’s
just confused.”

“I
am not confused, Eternal-One.  I am a warrior for truth and he is an empty
creature.”  Slade chuckled.  “I could
never
lose my predestined battle
with Damien.”  He looked supremely confident of that and why shouldn’t he?

The
good guy always won in the end of the story, right?

Kara
felt something cold pass through her at the thought.  She shifted closer to
Damien’s side.  “Yeah, well, where I come from Vampires aren’t seen as Boy Scouts,
either.”  She snapped.  “So, calling him a creature is a little pot and kettle-y.”

Slade
made a dismissive face.  Either he didn’t understand her slang or he just
didn’t believe her.

Damien’s
ebony eyes met Kara’s warily.  They probably didn’t even have Boy Scouts in
1892, but
Eternal Passion at Sunset
tossed in so many historical
inaccuracies that Damien could piece together what that meant.

“I
am not a creature.”  The words were barely a whisper.  He slanted Slade a hate
filled look and then quickly refocused on Kara.  “I’m
not
.”

“I
know.”  Creatures didn’t mourn their dead families for centuries.  Tanya St.
Clair had screwed up Damien’s one note villainy with that back story.  Plus, he
was the only character so far with some actual brains.  No wonder he seemed as lost
as she was half the time.

Kara
wasn’t sure how she was going to get out of this nuthouse, but she knew she
needed some time to think and an exit strategy from Dracula-the-male-modeling-years. 
Slade and his sex drive were definitely going to be a problem.  Damien was the
quickest escape route from her prospective groom.  “Will you help me?”

Damien
tilted his head.  Even the raven was staring at her.

“No,
no, no.  The
Vampires
are the dark knights of the world.”  Slade sounded
like he was explaining something to a second grader.  “The Wizard Warlocks are
the enemy.  You must ask for
my
assistance, Karalynn, and I will give
it, freely.”

“She
asked
me
.” Damien snarled.

“As
I said, she is overwrought.  She does not understand that
I
am her
protector
from
you.  You are a vile evil doer.  While
I
have
never done anything wrong in my entire, noble life.  Nothing.  So, she…”


You
killed my fucking sister!
”  Damien roared in what was absolutely
not
the novel’s usual faux Olde Time-y dialogue.  “You
murdered
her, you
condescending son-of-a-bitch!”

Kara’s
mouth parted.  There was no way Tanya had written that line.  None.

Damien
said it.

“I
never killed a woman, sorcerer.”  Slade scoffed at the very idea.  “All women
adore me.  They cannot help it.  I am generous lover and honorable warrior who would
never harm a defenseless female of any species.  No matter how nefarious a
creature she may be, I…”

“A
Vampire killed her.  I don’t know which one, but you’re their fucking king, so
it’s
your
fault.  You systematically wiped out my entire race!”

“Well,
they were
evil
, weren’t they?”  Slade threw is hands up like the last
sane man in the world.  “I fight to protect the helpless against the darkness. 
I fight for weaker people like
you
, Eternal-One.  I respect the
boundaries of nature, which the Wizard Warlocks have never done.  Which Damien,
especially
, has never done.  I am…”  He paused, dramatically.  “A hero.”

Damien
swore in disgust.

Kara
shrugged as Slade posed like Superman.  “Maybe, but I still like Damien better
than you.”  Besides, right now she needed someone who wasn’t going to be all
anal about following the rules.

That
statement pulled Damien from his murderous contemplations… temporarily, at
least.  His head tilted in something like mystification as he went back to
staring at her.  He really did have the most amazing eyes.  So dark she
couldn’t even see the pupils in them, they glowed with intensity.  It was like
being X-rayed.  As if he was trying to see her from the inside out.  “Perhaps
you really are crazy, woman.”  He finally murmured.

Kara
kept her gaze locked with his, willing him to just
listen
to her.  “You’re
not gonna understand this, but trust me when I say things have gotten all
wonky, alright?  It’s probably my fault and I can fix it.  But…”  She lowered
her voice.  “I don’t want to go with Slade.”

Damien’s
attention cut back over to Slade’s fuming face.

“You
can’t take her.  You know you can’t.”  Slade insisted.  “She’s mine and that’s
just the way it’s supposed to be.”

In
the original text, it was a good bet that Melessa didn’t end chapter three by running-off
with Damien.  Slade probably had a point about that, but Kara didn’t care. 
Slade was never going to believe her or try to fix things.  He was wrapped up
in being the hero of the story.  He saw no reason to deviate from the script in
his head and woe to any ‘weaker beings’ who got in his way.

Damien
was the villain, though.  On some level, he
had
to know that this story
didn’t end well for him.  He was certainly the only one so far who could
process changes in the plot and keep going.  And, most importantly, he didn’t
look at her like she was just a mannequin.

To
Slade, Kara didn’t really exist as a person.  She was simply
there
,
sharing his scene and awaiting his throbbing male member with her quivering
flesh.  Damien at least
saw
her.  He didn’t like her, but at least he
responded to Kara like she was an actual human being and not a prop.

Besides,
if Vlad didn’t adlib himself attacking Slade, then he wasn’t going to add any
scenes where he killed her, either.  The characters really did seem to be
following the story as best they could.  She was the one messing things up.

Kara
met Damien’s unreadable eyes, again.  “Just help me out and I’ll tell you
everything you want to know, okay?”  She could give him all kinds of spoilers
on the plot if he wanted.  Kara didn’t exactly trust Damien.  But, if she had
to pick sides, she’d go with the guy who seemed least likely to suck her blood in
the name of sex.  “I’m not his Eternal-One.  I swear it.  I just need to get
out of here.”

Damien
still didn’t say anything.

“But,
you can’t
do
this.”  Slade’s tone turned whiny.  “Karalynn, you belong
to
me
.  You must accept that.  You can’t refuse the Eternal-Bonding.  No
woman has
ever
refused it.  You just need to concentrate on what
must
be.”  He started forward, determinedly.  “I feel as if this whole conversation
is very wrong.”

Kara
was scared that Slade would just march over and drag her back to the White
Hat’s side.  It wasn’t like she could overpower him.  The guy was built like an
Olympian and she hadn’t been to the gym since… ever.  She’d be fighting off his
lunk-headed advances until he crept back into his coffin at dawn.

Unless
he pulled her in there with him.

Kara
swallowed.  Slade really wasn’t a rapist, but he certainly didn’t seem to
accept that she’d refused his proposal, either.  He’d just keep pushing,
because he was sure that he was right.

Kara’s
hand unconsciously came over to grip Damien’s arm, again.

The
frightened move was all it took to make up Damien’s mind.  He sighed, loudly.  His
free hand caught her wrist, pulling Kara completely behind him.  “Stop,
Vampire.”  The words rapped out with cold command.  “The woman doesn’t want
you.”  He snorted.  “As surprising as it seems, given her attire, she actually
has admirable taste.”


You’re
making fun of
my
clothes?  The guy who dresses like The Penguin?”

“The
who?”

“It
doesn’t matter if she wants me or not.”  Slade paced around in agitation, but
he didn’t come any closer.  He really wasn’t going to fight Damien in this
chapter.  No matter what, he would stick as close to the original book as
possible.  He really was a Boy Scout, under the ‘you know you want me, baby’
arrogance.  “Fate has decreed that she is mine.”

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