Not Just Play (8 page)

“Yeah, a sandcastle.” She said in a very faint voice.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing. Can we talk about something else?”

He laughed. “Okay. You can tell me some other time.”

“Blake, would you ever forgive me if I lie to you?” She pulled his jacket towards her chest and looked at him.

“Garnet, you know I’m not shallow. I would like to believe that you would only be able to do something like that if you actually have to. Take your time. I did not invite you here to make you even sadder than how you must have felt earlier at the balcony. I just thought that a bonfire would be fun. It’s something that I have never done while I was away.”

She placed more marshmallows on their sticks and blurted out. “Max and I are not actually a couple. What we have is an arrangement.” She stole a glance at him, his expression unreadable.

“I know there’s no enough excuse to make what we did reasonable. But yeah, it’s just play-play---an arranged play-play.”

He did not respond so she went on. “You know how forceful my father can be, Blake. To cut the story short, this is my last resort. I wouldn’t have deliberately deceived you or your parents. It’s just that, this might be the only solution.”

“Is it working so far?”

“I guess.”

“Garnet, to tell you the truth, I know everything. I know that this whole thing is a sham----I know my brother well enough to ever think that he’d marry. It is going against everything I knew about him. If you did what you did, like I said, I know that there must be a very big reason. Something confuses me though. On Max’s end, it is very clear and it looks to me that he has stuck to the arrangement as agreed. How come it does not seem so clear on your end? Haven’t you gotten what you wanted?”

She sighed and played with the stick she was holding. “Oh, Blake. I blew it. Everything was going well---I mean everything. I was able to move out and live by myself, do something I really love, and be able to decide on my own, until things started to get too real for me.”

“What do you mean too real?”

“Blake, I think I have fallen in love with Max, big time.” She said.

“I see. And what about him, does he know?”

Garnet looked far away and shrugged her shoulders. “I tried to tell him but he cut me off. What a fool I made out of myself!”

He handed her more hot chocolate. “Here, you need this. Everything will be fine, Garnet. Don’t be too hard on yourself.”

She took a sip from her cup and pinched her cheek.
 
“It feels funny when feelings go beyond your control. I wish I hadn’t put myself in this situation in the first place.”

“I know what you mean.”

Seven

Garnet felt a lot better after the conversation with Blake. Surprisingly, she was no longer feeling needy and clingy. In fact, she made up her mind. This farce has to stop. Max left with Blake upon their return for some convention in Mexico. They would be there for a week. She has to think of something. What has occurred to her is that she might just be feeling infatuated with Max.

Amanda was at her apartment, making some tea. “Will you please settle down?”

“I can’t just settle down, Amanda. I have to think of something.”

“Just end it clean with Max, Garnet. I’m getting confused as well. You told me earlier that you might have fallen in love with him yet now you want out?”

“I don’t know, Amanda. It’s a fine line between love and hate really. I would have to admit that yeah, I might be having feelings for him. However, it is so blatant that he won’t fall for me, ever. What I really, really wanted to do is to get back at him, to salvage my pride at the very least. That way, in case I decide to move on and face my father’s wrath when I finally tell him about this mess, I won’t feel like such a loser.”

“I have an idea. Why don’t you seduce him then cut everything off afterwards. Tell him that you changed your mind and you realized you’re no longer in love after all. It sounds very petty, but history has proven that sometimes, pettiness and caprice work to a woman’s advantage. You might want to give that a try.”

She looked at her friend seriously for a moment then the rebel in her rise to the surface. “I’ll do it.”

“But, I don’t know how to go about it. Amanda, look at me. I’m not exactly femme fatale. I’m a spoiled pampered girl---at least I used to be---and what you are suggesting seems a bit out of place. Do you think I can pull it off?”

“Of course you can pull it off. I mean, you have nothing to lose. The guy that does not love you anyway. Besides, you live on your own now and you are

 
doing what you love. You’re no longer living under one roof with your filthy rich parents. Besides, you’re still your father’s daughter. He may get into fits of anger once he finds out about your whole sham. But so what? It’s about time to be the girl you are destined to be.”

She retrieved a tray of oatmeal cookies from the oven. “Oops, these are still hot. I’ll slap your hand if you dare touch them.”

“You really think I can do it?”

“Positive, G. You can do it.”

“Honestly, I want those cookies now. Why do you have to torture me this way?” She grabbed one fat cookie from the tray and took a bite. “Oh my God! Who needs men when you have this? This is delicious, Amanda. Make some more!”

Eight

Garnet devoted most of her days studying and getting around her plan. She misses Max, misses the way he makes her ache for his touch, misses his lips on her body, her hands on hers. Yet, every time she remembers his expression that day at the beach house, as though she meant nothing more to him than just a partner in crime, it was as though some part of her has died. Being an only child, Garnet is used to all the attention, to all the toys, to getting her way. It’s not as if she’s demanding a lot. All she wanted to know is if he could she their partnership moving into something else. Sure, they had an agreement, but still---she gave him all of her, surrendered herself fully, and opened her heart to him. She wanted to believe that in the many times they have been together, at least she meant even a bit for him. Obviously, that’s not the case. This whole getting back at him thing is not because she almost ditched her. It was because she is so irritated with herself for being so naive and trusting.

She lay on the bed that night and thought about him. She was the first man who actually made a difference in her life, the first man who had ever possessed her. It was like a silly joke for her that they can never be. The physicality that they shared was immense. It was unbelievable that a man who exuded so much passion in bed can look at you and not care. She always thought that emotions and physicality are intertwined. Sadly, she was wrong and she has to salvage her pride before it is too late. She envy her aunt for being the independent woman that she is, for having the reputation of wrapping every man she encounters around her delicate French tipped fingers. If only she has the guts like
Tante
Gabrielle.

She slept surprisingly well that night and had dreams of being in another place, another time. She dreamt about that summer she spent with Blake when they were kids, of how much fun they had. Life was more carefree then for her, a time when she actually believed about tales of prince and princesses and castles. It was not that much fun in real life.

Nine

After school, Garnet went back to her apartment to get a few things. Once she was inside, she was startled to find her parents on her living room. Garnet felt her heart beating fast. Something is not right here. Her parents wouldn’t have come if it is not something big.

She kicked her heels and changed to her pair of bunny slippers. “Hello, you two. What brought you here?” She walked towards them and reached out to hug them both. Garnet was totally unprepared for the thunderous slap that hit her face. It was his father.
 
“Armand!”, her mother gasped. “Don’t do this.”

“What was that for?” She asked, too startled to speak.

“Did you really think we would never find out? Did you really think you can fool us for a long time, Garnet?”

“So you already know?”

“You are my testing my patience, young lady. Starting tomorrow, you are going back to St. Martin and are to stay with Gabrielle until I figure out what to do with you.”

“But what about school? Don’t you think that’s a bit too much, Father? Why don’t you slap me again so that we’re quits?”

Her mother rushed to her side. “Garnet, please understand. We are very disappointed in you. We never would have thought you’d go this far. What will Max’s parents say?”

Garnet’s temper rushed to the surface, “You care about what they say and you don’t care about mine? That’s just mighty low.”

“You listen to me, Garnet. You have me so disappointed in you. Everything will be arranged by tomorrow. Pack your bags and lock this goddamned place. It will be on the ads as soon as possible. You will follow orders from now on.”

She looked at her father squarely. “What if I don’t?”

“Then we will push through with the marriage and it will be your lifetime prison----whether you like it or not. In addition, you will leave school to be a full time wife to Max.”

“You’re impossible! Mother, can’t you hear what he’s saying?”

Her mom held her hand, as if to calm her. “Garnet, we are only thinking about your welfare.”

“My welfare or the family’s interest? How can you two be so selfish? What about me?”

His father rose from his seat, her mother behind him. “You heard me. Go pack your bags.” They left then and Garnet was filled with an utter sense of disbelief.

Ten

The warm water in the tub soothed her body but her mind was working nonstop. She gazed at the bathroom window, seeing the panorama of the street lights from her vantage point. So, it was over. What a mess she created for herself! She looked at the bathroom she carefully decorated, the elegant walls and the vintage tub and faucets. This was her home, the only place where she was able to live the way she wanted to. Now, it is longer hers. She hated her father for having no heart and her mother for not being able to stand up for her. Today ends everything and she’d be stuck in St. Martin for God knows how long. The only consolation is that, she’d be away from her parents and that
Tante
Gabrielle is there.

As the sudsy water covered her body, she thought about Max. She was not even able to execute her plan. The more she thinks about it, the clearer it became. She did not love Max. Maybe she was just too sick of her life that somehow, she found a bit of comfort in him. She would miss him though----his handsome face, his rough touch, his mysterious aura, and his detachment. She cares about him, but with everything going on right now, it is time to put an end to it and probably should start a new life without him.