Not My 1st Rodeo (6 page)

Read Not My 1st Rodeo Online

Authors: Donna Alward

Tags: #cowboys;widow;divorce;starting over;computer;online dating

BOOK: Not My 1st Rodeo
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Melly looked back at Manda and sighed. “I want to believe you. I do. That's why I'm here.”

“Give him a chance.” Manda looked like she was going to say something else, but at that moment Melly's attention was diverted over Manda's shoulder as Brett stepped out of the barn. Her heart gave a solid thump in response to his appearance. He looked good. Better than good even in a work shirt and jeans and boots. And when he saw her, he halted. The same current that had run between them that first day at the café zinged to life.

Manda followed Melly's gaze and sighed.

“So that's how it is. The two of you are idiots, you know.” But there was warmth in the words that had been absent before.

“Sorry?” Melly asked, dragging her gaze away.

“Nothing.” Manda started back toward the house. “See you around, Melly.”

Brett started walking in her direction, each step strong and deliberate. There was no denying the physical attraction, and between that and Manda's claim of innocence about the situation, Melly was a mess of emotion. She wanted to believe him. And she was terrified it made her weak—and a fool.

“You came,” he said, stopping several feet away. “I wasn't sure you would.”

“I wasn't either. Not until I actually turned up the lane.” She tried a smile. “I met your sister.”

“And survived.” He grinned at her and a little of the awkwardness dissipated.

“She came to your defense in no uncertain terms,” Melly admitted. “And said something that made me think. It's hard for me to believe in coincidences, Brett. It makes me feel naïve and gullible.”

“And after your ex, you don't want to feel that way again.”

“Yes.” She let out a huge breath. He got it. He understood without her having to explain in depth. This was why things had clicked so easily before. And yet there was a little part of her that simply didn't trust it. Or him.

“But you believe me now? That I honestly didn't know of the connection?”

She nodded. “Yes.” Their eyes met. “Brett, I think I knew deep down the moment you went out the door. It was just easier than admitting the real truth to myself.”

“The real truth?”

“It was easier to blame you than to admit that I reacted as I did because I'm probably not ready to be seeing anyone. I wanted to think I'd moved on. Moved past my anger and my…well, disillusionment is probably as good a word as any.”

Brett's smile softened. “Looking in the mirror isn't easy on the best of days. You're here now. That's what matters.”

There was a quiet pause as they let everything settle. Then Brett smiled at her and said, “So what do you say? Would you like the nickel tour? We could saddle up a couple of the horses and go for a ride.”

It sounded lovely. A warm breeze was ruffling the leaves on the trees and she had a couple of hours to spare. “I haven't gone riding in a while. That sounds fun.”

“Perfect. Come with me. I have the perfect horse for you. His name is Charley and he has a soft spot for pretty girls.”

Chapter Six

She'd really come.

Brett glanced beside him, admiring her straight and tall form in the saddle. She'd taken to Charley right away, but then the old gelding had always been a charmer. Brett had watched her hands as they rubbed Charley's neck, heard the soothing sound of her voice as she spoke to the horse while she slipped the bridle over his ears and the bit into his mouth. Despite Brett's best intentions, he hadn't been able to stop himself from comparing her to Sherry. To his recollection, Sherry had never saddled a horse in her life. She'd gone riding now and again when Brett pressed her to do so, but he'd always had to tack the horses so that all she had to do was hop into the saddle.

Melly did it all like she'd been doing it for her whole life…which she probably had.

They rode silently for several minutes. Brett liked that he didn't feel the need to make conversation. There didn't seem to be any awkwardness in the quiet. It wasn't until they were out of sight of the yard and starting an incline that Melly nudged Charlie closer and started speaking.

“This is really beautiful,” Melly commented. “But Lazy H is bigger than I expected. You downplayed it a little when we met.”

“There are a lot bigger ranches in the area,” he replied modestly. “Between my sisters and their spouses, and my mom and dad…well, I've wanted to strike out on my own for a while now.”

“Leave Lazy H behind?”

“Naw.” He smiled, took a deep breath of air scented with grass and sunshine. “I still want to be part of Lazy H. Mine will be more of a satellite ranch. I think it'll work really well for everyone involved.”

“Won't you miss it here?”

He nodded. “Of course. I grew up here.” The horses plodded along, following a path that climbed a rise. “Melly, I understand your attachment to your ranch. I really do. It's why I suggested riding today. I want to show you something.”

“You do?”

“Just over this knoll.” He pointed with his left hand. “Come on.”

He nudged his horse into a trot and heard Charley's hooves following close behind. In no time, he'd reached the crest. The valley spread wide below him, a palette of greens and golden browns of pasture and grain fields, stretching out for miles. A few other ranches could be seen, their buildings dotted in groups in the distance.

Melly came up beside him and reined in, patting Charley on the neck. “Wow. Look at it up here. What a view.”

“It's my favorite spot on the ranch,” Brett admitted. “Whenever I was troubled or needed to get some perspective, I'd come up here for some peace and quiet. It always made me feel a bit better. Like I was part of something bigger than myself. Like I was connected to something even when I felt alone.”

He felt a little silly admitting that to her, but this might be his only chance. She believed he hadn't had an ulterior motive, but that was a far cry from making things right. Starting over. And he wanted to, he discovered. Yeah, he'd been angry at what she'd said. But if he'd been in her shoes, he might have thought the same thing.

He watched her dismount and hold Charley's reins as she walked along the narrow dirt trail, worn from years of travel. Lord, she was beautiful. The way she was looking at the valley right now did something to his heart he hadn't expected. It was healing, he realized. Realizing that someone else could have the same attachment and love for his way of life rather than disparaging it. It was very different having someone care for him because of it rather than despite it.

He also dismounted, and together they walked along the ridge, the warm breeze ruffling his hair and the sun soaking into his face.

How would he feel if someone wanted to take this away from him? Angry. Sad. Helpless.

“Mel?”

She turned her head to look at him. Their steps had grown lazy, and he fought the urge to simply pull her into a hug. There was something in her expression that bothered him. She looked like she appreciated this place, but there was sadness, or maybe resignation too, that dulled her eyes and kept her lips from curving up as he liked.

“I'm sorry,” he said quietly.

“For what?” She raised one eyebrow, then broke eye contact and dropped her gaze to the path at her feet.

He reached out and put his hand on her arm. “For circumstances. That your dad isn't up to running the ranch. That you feel like you're going to lose the special places close to your heart.”

“I wouldn't if you'd let my cousin buy it instead. It would stay in the family.”

He sighed. “Mel, it's not that simple. This is something I've wanted for a long time. I've dreamed of having my own place for as long as I can remember. I know why you're asking it, but you have to realize that for me…you're asking me to give up my dream. It's not an easy thing to do.”

“Particularly because we've only been on a couple of dates?” She moved her arm away from his hand. “If you'd never met me…”

“I'd be pretty focused on closing the deal.” He let out a breath of frustration. “It's business.”

“It's never just business. Not to people like you and me, Brett.” Her voice was sharp. “There's a connection that goes from your boots to the earth. You know that.”

It burned that she was right. And the one thing he really, really liked about her—that understanding of his way of life—was the one thing that made this whole mess worse.

“After my divorce, I swore if I ever got involved with a woman, it would be with someone who was Sherry's opposite. And now here you are and it's more complicated than ever.”

“Would you call us involved?”

“Hell, yes.” The question irritated, and he reached out and grabbed Charley's reins, tucking them into his palm alongside the other set. Melly faced him and he saw the defiant set to her mouth, recognized it. Even though he'd known her such a short time, he knew it was the I-must-stand-my-ground expression—but it also meant that she needed to remind herself to hold steady. And he did like a challenge. “Wouldn't you say sleeping together constitutes involved?”

She blushed.

“Mel,” he said, his voice slightly lower. He let go of the reins, let them drop to the ground. The horses wouldn't go anywhere, and he wanted both his hands free. He took a step closer to her, saw her pupils widen and her lips drop open just the tiniest bit in surprise, in invitation.

He reached out and gripped her upper arms in his hands. “Doesn't making love mean we're involved?”

Her lips closed. She swallowed, met his gaze and lifted her chin. “Only if it meant something.”

Minx. “If it meant nothing, you wouldn't have been so upset afterwards,” he replied. And he pulled her closer and kissed her.

She was as sweet as he remembered, sweet and sultry as her mouth opened beneath his. There was no denying the chemistry between them as he let go of one of her arms and moved his hand to her neck, losing it in the thick mass of her soft hair.

She wrapped her arms around his ribs, holding him close, and she made a soft sound in her throat as the kiss took on a life of its own, as wild and free as the waves of grass around them.

He thought briefly about laying her down and making love to her then and there, with the sun warming their skin and the verdant scent of grass and earth surrounding them, but he wasn't prepared. Neither did he want it to be rushed. He wanted to take his time, let them savor each other, maybe on a soft bed with the whole night ahead of them. He gentled the kiss even though his body was raging. “Do you have to go to Great Falls?” he asked hoarsely. “Stay here. Spend the weekend with me.”

“With your parents? Really?” She laughed, a breathy, sexy sound that went straight to his groin.

“We'll take off for the night. Get a hotel room. Take a bath with bubbles, make love all night long. It was so good the first time, Mel. I want to try again.”

“As enticing as that is, I need to go.” She stayed in the circle of his arms though, which he took as a good sign. “It's a shower for a good friend. I can't miss it.”

“Well, damn.” He trailed his lips down her cheek. “Are you sure?”

“It's tempting, Brett.” She turned her head a little and her lips touched his again. This time, the kiss was less heated but no less devastating. Long, deep, lingering.

Melly pulled away, but he got the sense she was doing so reluctantly as she nibbled on her lower lip and looked up at him, her eyes dazed. “There's no denying we do that well, is there?”

“None.”

“I wish we didn't. How can I want to be with you so much and be angry with you at the same time?” Her eyes were clouded with confusion. “You're still the man who's going to take away the one thing that means the world to my family.”

“And you feel like a traitor?” He kept a firm grip on his irritation. He didn't want to lose his cool like he had back at her apartment. But he did want her to understand that he wasn't trying to destroy anything.

“I feel like a hypocrite, that's for sure.” She turned away and reached for Charley's reins. “I can't get past it, Brett. If you'd just leave things be, Dustin could buy it and it'd stay in the family.”

“And could the Almighty Dustin manage it was well as I can? Will he build on what's there? How do you know it'll be in better hands than mine?”

She scowled at his cocky words. Damn, he'd spoken without completely thinking it through again, and sounded so arrogant in the process. Still, he wasn't doing a thing wrong, and he was sorry he'd told her his plans. All she'd done was ride his ass about it. Maybe this wasn't worth it after all. He'd enjoyed himself with her, but it was just like he'd told Manda. Women were not worth the headache, no matter how sweet and alluring.

“How do I know?” she asked, her words clipped. “Because he's family.”

“And that is a loyal but naïve answer,” he replied.

“You know, a few minutes ago, I was hoping we could work something out, but I guess not.” She put her hand on the saddle horn and swung herself into the saddle. “I've already been with someone whose arrogance and pride came before our relationship. I won't do that again.”

“You think this is arrogance and pride? Which one of us is being arrogant here?” He snatched the reins left trailing on the ground and mounted his horse with a creak of saddle leather. “You've insulted me, judged me, asked me to give up, and the only thing I've expected is, well, some understanding of my position. Newsflash, Mel. You can't stop change from happening. If you're that attached to the place, maybe you should have stuck around and worked it yourself.”

He dug his heels into the horse and shot forward, cantering back down the path they'd come. She could find her own way behind him for all he cared. Charley would get her home. His teeth were clenched together and posture ram-rod straight as the benevolent sun warmed his back. They had chemistry. He was in no doubt of that. And they had some things in common too. But Brett was starting to realize that there were things missing. Like basic respect, for one.

She'd said she wouldn't repeat past mistakes again. Well, neither would he. The first time he'd chosen wrong, he'd nearly lost Lazy H. He'd be damned if he'd risk this deal, too.

Melly blinked against the stinging in her eyes. Her mouth still hung open from the shock of his last comment. He couldn't have aimed that stab to her heart any better.

She gave Charley a half-hearted nudge and he began to plod his way back down the hill. Melly could see Brett in the distance, his horse taking him farther away with each long, smooth stride.

How many times had she regretted the path she'd taken? She might have stayed home and taken over the ranch as any son would have. But at eighteen, she'd rebelled. She'd wanted to get away. Get her education, be something different. In hindsight, she'd taken her home for granted, thinking it would always be there.

At twenty-one, she'd considered it again. But then she'd met James and everything had changed. She liked her job too. It wasn't that. But there were times she wished she'd done things differently. That she hadn't been so determined to be something or someone she wasn't.

She let Charley walk, plodding his way through the waving grass. Something else was bothering her too. As much as she liked her cousin Dustin, he was the kind of guy to keep things at the status quo rather than innovate. Under his ownership, the ranch would likely prosper, but it probably wouldn't flourish or live up to its true potential. If Lazy H was anything to go by, Brett could do great things with her family's property. It burned her ass to admit it, but it was true.

She had been arrogant. And prideful. It smarted that he knew it.

When she got back to the barn, Brett was waiting to take Charley. She was surprised at that. She'd figured he'd be nowhere to be seen. But of course, despite his outburst and riding away, Brett had manners. He was a gentleman. Both times when she'd been rude and judgmental, he'd been the first one to reach out.

This time though, his face was a mask of cold politeness as he held Charley's bridle and waited for her to dismount. She hopped down and gave Charley's neck a pat. The earlier silence had been comfortable, but now it was awkward as anything.

“I'd better get going. I still have to drive to Great Falls and get cleaned up before the shower.”

“I'll put Charley up. Thanks for coming, Mel.”

But his words held little warmth. They were a show of manners, nothing more. It was getting clearer by the second that he'd wanted to bring her around to his way of thinking…and she'd been trying to do the same and they were simply at an impasse.

Any romance was doomed from the start. It was time they faced facts. Some raging libido couldn't make up for all the other problems. They were bound to be on different sides.

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