Not My Daughter (11 page)

"I did," Susan said. "You were my partner in crime."

"I talk to her all the time."

"Her?"

"It's a her. I know it is."

"I hope you're right. A he might have a tough time wearing that sweater you're knitting. It's a pretty cool sweater, though."

"Isn't it? I'm adapting an adult pattern."

"To infant size? That's quite a reduction."

"Not as much as you'd think. The original pattern calls for light bulky. I'm using DK weight, so it's automatically smaller anyway. I'm doing a hat to match. Infants need hats even in summer."

"They need lots of other things."

"Will you make some?"

"I was thinking of diapers and crib sheets."

"But will you knit for my baby?" Lily asked straight out. "I want her to have things from you. Will you, Mom?"

"Eventually."

"For her to have when she's born? Remember that reversible blanket you made for Mrs. Davidson's baby? I want one of those."

"You could knit it yourself."

"It wouldn't be the same. She'll keep that blanket forever. I want it from
you."

Susan couldn't commit to knitting for a baby she couldn't yet imagine coming, so she asked, "Are those jeans getting tight?"

Lily slouched back on the sofa and raised her sweater. At first glance, her stomach was flat; at second glance, Susan saw a tiny swell.

Lily stroked the spot. "She is three inches long now. And her intestines are starting to grow. I mean, they've been growing all along, but now they're coming back out of the umbilical cord." Her eyes met Susan's. "Three more weeks, and I'll know the sex for sure. I'll actually be able to see her."

"She won't look like much."

"She will. Four months is significant." She grew cautious again. "I may need a few clothes pretty soon. I mean, like, jeans. The blogs say to get a few pairs in the next size up, not maternity yet." When Susan didn't reply, she said, "I'll pay."

"I pay for your clothes."

"Not Sevens."

"Right, because I don't believe in spending that much for a pair of jeans. If you want Sevens, sweetie, you're on your own."

"I don't need Sevens."

"That's wise. Are Mary Kate or Jess showing yet?"

"Jess no. Mary Kate a drop."

But all three would be visibly pregnant before long. The thought of that gave Susan the willies. "Lily, I have to tell Phil about the other two."

Lily sat up fast. "You can't! Not yet!"

"I told Sunny I'd wait until after Thanksgiving. He's one of the reasons I couldn't go to Pam's. But the longer I wait to tell him, the worse it'll be when I do."

"You can't betray Mary Kate and Jess!"

"It's not a betrayal. It's telling someone who has a right to know. This is going to affect the school."

"Mary Kate will let people know soon. Can't you wait a
little
longer? They'll
hate
me if you tell." She jumped to her feet. "If you were with me in this, you'd understand. But you're still angry because I didn't
ask permission
. When it came to the Zaganotes, you told me to move on. Well, look who can't move on now. Why is it so hard for you to accept this? Why is it so hard to be
excited?
This is
our baby
," she cried and stormed from the room.

Susan didn't see it that way. The baby was Lily's, and the situation with Phil was growing acute. She was in a bind, balancing her role as mother against her role as principal.

Later, when Sunny called from Albany weeping, Susan just tried to console her. She didn't discuss telling Phil. It would have only upset her more.

Besides, at some point, the decision was Susan's alone.

At least, that was what she thought. She waited until Monday--why ruin Phil's holiday?--then learned that he was at a conference in Denver. The message on his answering machine referred emergency calls to his assistant, but this wasn't something to share with anyone else, Susan decided. Nor, in a sense, was it an emergency. It didn't become that until Thursday.

Chapter 10

Lily was in the lunchroom, at one end of a long table with Mary Kate and Jess. Other students sat nearby, but the empty chairs they had left meant they were giving the three girls space.

"It guess this is how it'll be," Lily said, "but I'm okay with it. They've always seen me as good little Lily, the principal's daughter. They don't know what to make of me now." She thought about it. "I kind of like that."

"I wish my parents weren't so upset," said Mary Kate. "We may have underestimated their reaction."

"Y'think?" Jess remarked.

Lily knew. "My mom's hurt, like I deliberately disobeyed her. But I never thought of it that way."

"My mom's
furious
," Jess said.

Lily knew her mother was that, too, and it worried her a lot. She had hoped that her own control of the situation would smooth things over. She really had thought this through. Getting pregnant wasn't something you did on a whim.

And in the end, she had to be optimistic. "They'll come around. Once they get over the shock, they'll realize a baby's a baby, and that we have each other, which will make it easier. Look at our moms and PC Wool. No one of them could have created the business on her own."

Mary Kate finally smiled. "Can you imagine our kids taking it over someday? Honestly? I don't think it's a little Jacob in here. It's a girl who'll be best friends with your daughters, just like our moms and us."

Lily thought so, too, but she had pictured a fourth. "Maybe that's why Abby blabbed. She feels left out."

Jess leaned back and peered across the room. "She's still sitting with Theo Walsh. What happened to Michael?"

"Second guy's a charm?" Lily asked, though she knew what Jess was thinking. They had agreed that the fathers wouldn't be involved, but that didn't mean they didn't matter. If you were planning to have a baby, you needed a father with good genes. Theo Walsh was marginal.

"Uh-oh, here she comes," Mary Kate murmured.

"Hey, guys," Abby said, sounding more confident of their welcome than she looked. "How's it going?"

"It's going great," Jess said before Lily could answer. "No thanks to you. What you did to Lily was awful."

Looking contrite, Abby said, "I feel bad, Lily. I didn't plan to tell. It just came out. I'm sorry."

"Being sorry doesn't make it better," Jess said, but Lily pulled out a chair and made Abby sit.

"Do you hate me?" Abby asked her.

Lily couldn't. Hate implied a permanent break, and Lily didn't want that. She felt for Abby. Abby always seemed to be on the outside looking in--like she had a big name and plenty of money, but wasn't comfortable with either.

That said, Lily was hurt. "When we agreed to do this, we talked about how important it was to keep things secret and stay totally loyal to each other. It may be hard for you right now--"

"That doesn't excuse it," Jess cut in and might have said more if Mary Kate hadn't touched her hand.

Abby stared at Jess. "You don't have a clue."

"I do. It didn't happen right away for me. So maybe you have to work to make it stick. Maybe you have to try
five
guys before it does."

Lily hushed her.

But Abby was glaring. "Maybe I won't try
any
guys. Maybe I'm waking up and realizing what a
stupid
idea this
was."

"And who came up with this stupid idea?" Jess shouted.

"Shhh."

"No, Mary Kate," Jess argued. "It was
her
idea, and now she's backing out."

Abby stood up. "I was upset, and maybe I said things I shouldn't have that day in the hall, but do you think
you're
any better? I should try five guys? That's
disgusting
. And you think
you're
ready to have a baby? You have
no business
being pregnant! Lily, yes. Mary Kate, yes. But you? I feel
so sorry
for your baby."

She turned and stalked off, leaving a stunned silence in her wake--and no fewer than a dozen riveted eyes on Lily, Mary Kate, and Jess.

"They were juniors," came Lily's breathless voice, "and they must have heard every word Abby said. I could see it in the way they were looking at us. What do we do, Mom? Should we say it isn't true?"

Susan was walking down Main Street, head low against the wind, phone to her ear. She was coming from a meeting of community service organizations in advance of the holiday food drive. There were serious issues this year relating to new FDA requirements, but they were quickly forgotten.

"No, Lily," she said, trying to stay calm. "Don't lie. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. They may not have heard as much as you thought. Where are you now?"

"Still in the lunchroom. We have five minutes before class."

Susan picked up her pace. "Go ahead to class. Try to act normally until we know for sure that anyone did hear. Tell Mary Kate and Jess to do the same. Are they okay?"

"No
. Mary Kate is trying to find Jacob. He doesn't even know she's pregnant. What was Abby
thinking?"

"I don't know, Lily. But Abby is the least of our worries." There were so many other things to consider if word was out. "You all go to class. If you hear people talking about Mary Kate and Jess, let me know. In the meantime, I'll strategize."

Actually, what Susan was thinking was that in the meantime she would pray that those juniors hadn't heard.

But she was barely back at school when she was approached in the lunchroom by a cluster of girls. "We just heard something really weird, Ms. Tate," said one, and the others quickly chimed in.

"Is Mary Kate Mello pregnant?"

"And Jessica Barros?"

"All
three?"

"Where did you hear this?" Susan asked.

"Kaylee's sister heard it from someone who heard it last lunch. Is it true?"

Susan tried to look unworried. "Well, it's a frightening thought. Let me get back to you, okay?" She lingered for another sixty seconds, casually working her way to the door. Once in the corridor, though, she hurried to her office. Her assistant was just replacing the phone. The look on her face confirmed the problem.

"Who was that?" Susan asked.

"Allison Monroe. She wanted to report what her students are saying."

Allison taught introductory Spanish, mostly to freshmen. Susan considered her a friend, which gave credence to her report.

Knowing she had to act quickly, Susan said, "Would you ask Amy Sheehan to come up here? Tell her it's urgent. Same with Meredith Parker." Meredith was the school counselor. "If my daughter or either of her friends show up, let them in, too."

Entering her office, she closed the door and leaned against it for a minute. This was the calm before the storm. It was time to plan.

But first she had to tell Sunny and Kate. She made the two calls; each was short and upsetting. Amy arrived, with Mary Kate on her heels, and by the time Meredith arrived, Lily and Jess were there, too.

Amy, bless her, relieved Susan of the responsibility of formally spilling the beans by asking a startled, "You're all
three
pregnant?"

The girls stared at each other. Mary Kate was the first to nod.

"How far along?" Amy asked.

"Eleven weeks," said Mary Kate.

"Ten," Jessica said.

"Intentionally?"

There were three nods.

"No one was supposed to know until we were starting to show," Jessica said. "This is all Abby's fault."

Devastated, Susan braced herself against the desk. "Abby was not in that bed, or wherever you were, when each of you had unprotected sex."

"But we wouldn't be sitting here now if it weren't for her."

"You made a
pact?"
Meredith asked, her melodious alto sounding dismayed.

"It wasn't a pact," Lily said. "We just agreed that this would be a good thing to do together."

"That's a pact, sweetheart," Susan said, having learned the lesson from Rick. "You can play with words all you want, but it is what it is."

"Why?"
Meredith asked the girls.

"Because we love babies," Lily answered.

"So do I," the counselor replied earnestly, "but I don't have a husband or the means to support a baby, so there
is
no baby, and I
am
done with school, and the perfect
age
to have a child." She had been one of Susan's first hires, a spunky African American who seemed perfectly happy mothering high schoolers in lieu of her own kids. She spoke her thoughts freely, and while that upset some parents, it worked for the students. Kids didn't always like what Ms. Parker said, Lily had explained, but they liked knowing where she stood.

So did Susan, particularly since Meredith had brought up husband, money, education, and age, all issues Susan had raised herself.

Subdued, the girls sat on the sofa. Mary Kate, in particular, looked stricken. "Did you find Jacob?" Susan asked.

Eyes tearing up, the girl nodded.

"How was he?"

"Angry. He stared at me, then walked way." Her voice broke. "I ran after him--I mean, he was one of the reasons I
wanted
this baby--but he wouldn't listen."

In different circumstances, Susan would have gone to her, held her, reassured her that Jacob loved her and would come around. But Lily and Jessica were doing just that, now. This, apparently, was the purpose of the pact, to support each other when the going got tough.

Susan wondered what the father of Lily's baby was thinking. She hadn't allowed herself to think about him, was still having trouble visualizing her daughter with any boy. But he would surely know by now. She wondered if other students would guess his identity and whether Susan would learn it that way.

Angry at Lily for this, too, she wandered past the bookshelf that held the summer reading assignments for each grade level. Nearby were pictures of Lily in third grade, sixth grade, ninth grade, looking so innocent that Susan could have cried.

Continuing on to the girls, she took a chair. After a minute, thinking aloud, she said, "We have three planned pregnancies in three seniors who would be the last ones anyone would expect to have done this. The question is how to handle it."

"You can't kick us out of school," Jessica cautioned meekly. "I asked my dad."

Susan sighed. "I wouldn't kick you out, Jess. You need to graduate." She filled in Amy and Meredith on what had happened at lunch. "Word is spreading fast."

"This is Abby's fault," Jessica insisted.

"If you weren't pregnant," Susan said, "she'd have had nothing to say. But it's done, Jess. We have to figure out what to do now."

The door opened. Kate and Sunny slipped in, both looking pale and upset. Kate closed the door, shaking her head when Amy rose to offer her a seat. Sunny stood by the file cabinet, radiating anger. There were glances at the girls, but they were brief.

This is not my daughter
, Susan could hear them thinking. She shared the sentiment, but dwelling on the horror of what the girls had done wouldn't help. "It would have been nice to have had a little more time, but the grapevine can be lethal. Everyone will be speculating and exaggerating."

"How do you
exaggerate
this?" Sunny asked in disgust.

Easy
, Susan thought. "You say there are ten girls involved, not three. You say that the pact is among the
boys
to impregnate girls. You say that someone is going to parties, slipping Mickeys to sweet little things like you three."

"None of that's true," Jess said.

"Correct, which is why we need to define the story ourselves. Tomorrow's Friday. Students will be heading into the weekend talking--"

"Don't they have anything better to do?" Lily asked.

"That depends on how you define better," Susan said. "Change the parties involved. Think, say, Rachel Bishop, Sara Legere, and Kelsey Hughes. They're your friends, right? What if you suddenly learned that all three were pregnant--three good friends, top students, college-bound kids? Wouldn't you be talking about it? Wouldn't you be calling other friends to find out what they knew? Of course you would. It's human nature."

"Your mother's right," Meredith said. "Kids talk. They text."

"But it's all hearsay," Jess protested.

"Not all," corrected Lily. "What Abby said was firsthand."

"Unfortunately," the counselor said, "it's the classic case of a little knowledge being worse than none. If word is out, we've passed the 'none' stage."

"Fine," Sunny told Susan and folded her arms. "What do you suggest?"

Susan was still trying to decide. One thing was for sure. "I need to tell Dr. Correlli."

"Can you tell him without giving our names?"

"What's the point? He already knows Lily's pregnant. If he doesn't guess that the others are Mary Kate and Jess, a call to any one of Lily's teachers will tell him."

"Teachers can't give out names. What about our right to privacy?"

"It's gone," Susan said, feeling a weight in the pit of her stomach. Her daughter would be named right along with the others. "This is now a public matter. The superintendent is responsible for everything that involves his schools."