Not Until You: Part II (5 page)

Chapter 10

I rolled to the left, bumping into tattooed, sleep-warmed skin. The obstruction spun my hazy brain into confusion for a moment. Where was I? Was I dreaming? I blinked in the predawn darkness, finding Pike snoring softly, his bare back to me. My mind stumbled, then rewound, the memories of the night dropping back into place.

A long breath pushed past my lips as I lay back on the pillows and rubbed my eyes. No, this had been no dream. My achy, tender body punctuated that conclusion. I’d actually done it—shoved past all my worry and inhibitions and gotten naked with not just one of the neighbors I’d been fantasizing about, but both of them. And I’d had sex with Foster. Sex. I was a virgin no longer. I waited for the shame to hit me. The morning-after regret I’d heard about from friends, but none came.

The only thing clawing at me was the memory of the way I’d felt when Foster had held me and kissed me, the way he’d felt filling my body. The physical discomfort of it had been expected, the initial wave of it breath stealing. But that pain had faded to a soft hum in the background when my eyes had locked with his. Something far deeper than the sensations my body was experiencing had passed through me. An intense oneness with him.

It’d probably been the simple fact that he was my first. Girls were wired to get romantic notions about that, right? But later when Pike had joined the two of us in bed again, I hadn’t felt the same thing kissing and cuddling him. Being with Pike was fun—he was sex personified and he made me laugh—but I didn’t get that tight feeling in my stomach when he looked at me.

I turned to my right, seeking the man who was stirring up the turmoil in me, but that side of the bed was empty. I reached out and touched the rumpled sheets. Cold.

I frowned and squinted at the clock—a little past five
A.M.
Careful not to disturb Pike, I scooted across the bed and climbed to my feet, grabbing the robe I’d thrown over the high-backed chair in the corner. My body protested at the movement, soreness fully setting in now. But in a way, I welcomed the discomfort, the proof that the night had really happened and wasn’t some fantasy. After a quick trip to the bathroom, I padded across the plush carpet and slipped out of the bedroom.

The living room was still in twilight, but the silhouette of a man standing in front of the large windows drew me. Foster stared out at the coming dawn, the lights of downtown Dallas starting to blink off, preparing for the sun’s appearance. He held a mug in his hands, blowing across the top of it.

I hung in the shadow of the far side of the room, simply enjoying watching him. The muscles in his back shifted and caught the light as he lifted his coffee to his lips and sipped. There was an elegance to his economy of movement, to his stillness. His brows were drawn low, his profile a sculpture of deep thought.

I almost turned back toward the bedroom, afraid to interrupt the sanctity of his quiet morning, but when I stepped backward, my robe brushed a nearby lampshade, sending the lamp chain clinking against the metal base.

Foster tipped his head in my direction, a slight turn, but didn’t take his eyes off the view. “You’re up early.”

I wrapped my arms around myself. “Said the rooster to the chicken.”

He looked at me then, a quirk of a smile. “I’m not so good at the sleeping-in thing. Hope I didn’t wake you.”

“You didn’t.” I stepped out of the dark and headed to the oversized chair near the window. When I sat, my body reminded me again of all I’d been through in the last few hours. But even the tenderness of my backside had a flash of lust zipping through me. God, I was a glutton for punishment. Since when was pain a good thing? I tucked my legs beneath me and resisted the urge to go over to Foster and kiss him good morning. “I’m not sure what woke me up. Maybe Pike’s snoring.”

Foster chuckled. “Don’t tell him he snores. It will devastate his Mr. Suave self-image.”

“Never.” I pantomimed zipping my mouth shut.

Foster’s smirk remained in place, but I sensed this lighthearted conversation was simply pretty decoration on top of a pile of crap that wasn’t been said. The lines around his mouth, the way he gripped his coffee, even the set of his shoulders had my nerves rising, my fingers fiddling with the tie of my terrycloth robe. He knew.

He released a long sigh and moved away from the window to perch on the arm of the couch across from me. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

I stared down at fidgeting hands. “Tell you what?”

“Cela,” he said in that commanding tone he’d used in the bedroom. “Look at me.”

A hot quiver rippled through me, but I raised my gaze to him.

Sharp disapproval edged his features. “You left something pretty important off that list of yours.”

My cheeks heated. “I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to say anything.”

“Didn’t want to say anything?” he said, his exasperation loud in the dead quiet of the hotel room. “Cela, we could’ve hurt you. If you had told me, I would’ve been gentler, more tender. I hit you for Christ’s sake.” He dragged a hand through his already disheveled mop of hair. “Your first time’s supposed to be sweet and romantic and I . . .”

“Stop,” I said, sitting up taller in the chair. “You didn’t hurt me. And this is exactly why I didn’t want to tell either of you. The guy I told you about, the one who made fun of me? I had gone on a few dates with him and when things started to heat up, I let him know before anything happened. He laughed and asked if I was some religious fanatic. Then he left because taking a girl’s virginity was ‘too heavy’ for a hookup.”

“Well, thank God for that. That idiot definitely didn’t deserve to touch you. But you know I wouldn’t have done that.”

“I know you wouldn’t have teased me, but you would’ve backed out the instant you found out.”

“No, I wouldn’t’ve.”

“Liar,” I said, frustration building in me. “You just said it. Everybody has all these notions about what a first time is supposed to be like, and it freaks people out. Dudes are afraid the girl is going to cling to them like some let’s-be-together-forever teenager, and girls are afraid that if the heavens don’t open up and the angels don’t sing that it’s a losing-your-virginity failure. I didn’t want any of that.”

He shook his head. “What did you want?”

You
, my mind whispered,
exactly what happened
. And angels
had
sung. Or maybe those were devils . . . I kicked the thought aside. “I wanted a good time. I wanted to get that big branded
V
off my resume before I have to go back home and start my real life.”

Something flickered through his blue eyes, like a biting wind in a winter storm. “A good time. Right. Well, that’s our specialty.”

He stood and walked back toward the window, dismissing me.

The iciness in his voice and stance cut though my thick robe, chilling my skin. The shift in his mood had my defenses rising, anger welling. “Isn’t it? Or are all those girls I’ve heard visit your apartment your ‘
twu wuv’
.”

His wince was almost imperceptible, but I caught it.

I rose to my feet, arms crossed. “Be honest, Foster. If I had told you last night that I was a virgin, would you have slept with me?”

He stared out the window, his jaw twitching, and I thought he may ignore me. But then after a few long seconds, he spun on his heel, set his coffee down, and stalked into my space.

His nearness had my thoughts scattering, my emotions splintering. Words wouldn’t come.

He cupped my shoulders, a grip that vibrated with restrained power. “I don’t know. But if I had, I would’ve made it different. I would’ve made it special for you, would’ve taken my time, gone slow. And I certainly wouldn’t have invited Pike or used any kink.”

I swallowed hard, his earnest speech curling around me, making me ache for him all over again. “It
was
special, Foster. And yes, I’m new at all this, but what you did . . . how you acted . . .”

“Was irresponsible.”

“Was hot.”

His eyebrows lifted.

“I asked you to take control. I didn’t realize you would take it where you did, but . . . I liked it. I felt lost and safe all at the same time. I never expected sex to feel like that. I had an idea what it would feel like physically. I know my way around a vibrator. But this was . . .” I paused, not sure if the right words even existed. “Transcendent.”

His thumbs caressed the curve of my shoulders as he stared down at me, his head tilted ever so slightly, like he was working out some riddle in his head.

A door squeaked behind me.

“Why the hell are you guys up so fucking early?” Pike groaned. “And why am I alone in a cold bed?”

Foster’s hands dropped from my shoulders, and he stepped back, the moment broken. “Sorry, we couldn’t sleep.”

“Great, two insomniacs,” Pike muttered and made his way over to us.

I couldn’t help but smile at him, his spiked hair flat on one side and his eyelids heavy. He looked like an overgrown teenager shuffling in for breakfast. Before saying anything else, he grabbed Foster’s cooling coffee off the side table and swigged. Grimaced.

“Cream is an option, you know,” he said to Foster.

“So is getting your own damned coffee.”

I laughed. “Y’all have lived together too long.”

“No fucking doubt,” Pike said, setting the cup down and then reaching for the belt of my robe. He pulled me to him like I was a fish on a line and wrapped his arms around my waist. “And how are you this morning, gorgeous?”

The embrace was warm, affectionate, but suddenly being this close to Pike felt strange. Even though I’d happily pleasured him last night, had even curled up with him when I’d fallen asleep between the two of them, something had changed in those early morning moments. The attraction was still there, but the dynamic was askew. My gaze flicked to Foster, who stood like a sentry behind Pike—stiff and stoic.

Some vulnerable part inside me wanted him to intervene, to pull me into his arms instead of letting Pike embrace me. But then I realized how ridiculous I was being. Just because Foster was the one I’d had actual sex with, it didn’t mean we had something different between us than Pike and I did. All of this was exactly what I had described it as—a good time. Naughty fun.

No big deal.

Right.

I brought my focus back to the man in front of me. “I’m exhausted, but in the best way possible.”

“Mmm,” Pike murmured. “I know what you mean, doc. Last night was fantastic.” He peeked over his shoulder. “Even though Foster hogged you at the end.”

“Oink, oink,” Foster said, his voice too tight to deliver the intended humor.

“Well,” Pike said, pulling the tie on my robe and slipping the halves open, his hands along my waist. “Why don’t we rectify that? I think there’s a big ol’ hot shower with our names on it.”

Despite feeling a bit off balance, Pike’s soft touch against my skin had interest stirring in me. And if my heart was getting all mixed up because it was pulling the virgin-getting-attached card, maybe a morning wake-up call with Pike was just what I needed.

I closed my eyes, trying to block out Foster, and leaned my forehead against Pike’s. “That sounds like a great idea.”

“That’s our girl,” Pike said, his tone dipping into that low, sexual place that was impossible for my body not to react to despite the tug-of-war in my mind. “Come on, doc.”

He guided me toward the bedroom, all sleepiness gone from his face.

Before we crossed the threshold, he called back to Foster. “Shower fits three, my brother. Door’s open.”

But when I sent one last glance Foster’s way, he hadn’t moved an inch.

Read more of Cela and Foster’s red-hot romance in

Part III of NOT UNTIL YOU

NOT UNTIL YOU CRAVE

Available from InterMix on June 25, 2013

Keep reading for a special excerpt from the first book in Roni Loren’s Loving on the Edge series

CRASH INTO YOU

Available now from Berkley Heat

Don the gas masks and cue the mushroom cloud
. Brynn’s date was spiraling toward DEFCON 1—imminent disaster. In the brief time it had taken her to down three hors d’oeuvres, her sexy doctor had tumbled from fantasy fodder to potential therapy client.

Dr. Depressed propped his elbows on the table and leaned forward, his brows knitted. “I don’t know what I did wrong. One minute we’re in love and planning the future, the next I catch her in the copy room with her arms wrapped around the pharmaceutical sales rep.”

Brynn frowned as tears gathered behind his glasses. Oh, hell. She couldn’t have
another
guy cry on her. That’d be the second one this month. She was becoming the Barbara Walters of dating—taking a perfectly put-together person and reducing him to tears without trying. She reached across the table and gave his hand a quick squeeze. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. It sounds like she took advantage of what a nice guy you are.”

He stared at her for a moment, and then released a breath. “God, what am I doing? I’m breaking that cardinal rule, right? No ex talk on dates. I’m sure you didn’t ask me to come to this fund-raiser so you could hear me yammer about my breakup.”

“It’s fine. Breakups can be tough,” she said, giving her therapist half-smile—the one that said
I feel your pain and am
so
not judging you
, even though she was already formulating a hypothetical treatment plan in her head. She drew her hand away and sipped the last of her iced tea.

The lines in his face relaxed, and he leaned back in his seat. “I’m sorry I let it come up. You’re just so easy to talk to.”

“Occupational hazard, I guess,” she said, trying to lighten the mood. But the truth of her statement turned the words to sawdust in her mouth. She enjoyed her work, but did that mean she had signed up to heal every guy she dated? For once, she’d love to worry, like other women did, that a guy had asked her out simply to get her in bed. Instead, she had to worry if someone asked her to dinner because it was cheaper than a therapy session.

A waiter stopped by with a tray of champagne flutes. Brynn accepted one of the drinks, but her companion shook his head. “No thanks, I’m on call. Plus, I don’t want to fall asleep on my lovely date before the end of the night.”

He gave her a hopeful smile, his brown eyes still red-rimmed from unshed tears. Brynn fought back the defeated sigh that gathered in her throat. If he was staying awake on her account, he shouldn’t bother. She didn’t care how nice of a guy he was or how hot he probably looked naked. She was not going to be his rebound sex. Nothing like knowing a guy is closing his eyes in bed because he’s picturing someone else beneath him. Brynn took a long gulp from her glass.

“Speaking of which,” he said, reaching into the pocket of his jacket and pulling out his cell phone, “could you excuse me for a minute? I need to check in with the answering service.”

“No problem, take all the time you need.” Really, he could take as much time as he wanted because this date was over—sign the death certificate and slap a toe tag on it. Done.

After he strode off, Brynn pushed her chair away from the table and straightened the hem of her black-and–white shift dress as she stood. She needed something stronger than champagne.

She navigated through the crowd and the steady hum of polite conversation, pausing occasionally to smile and shake hands with donors. The Women’s Crisis Center of Dallas had a fund-raiser twice a year and, thanks to a very active board, had managed to snag a number of high-dollar supporters for this one. Good thing, considering her job was dependent on the generosity of these strangers. She grabbed a mini quiche off a passing waiter’s tray and shoved it in her mouth, hoping her obvious chewing would deter more people from stopping her to chat.

Brynn spotted a familiar face near the bar. Melody, her coworker, flipped her auburn hair over her shoulder and laughed at something the bartender said. Brynn walked over but hovered behind her for a moment, not wanting to interrupt Mel’s flirting. The woman was a master and seemed to have the young bartender sufficiently under her spell until another party guest pounded a fist on the counter and demanded a refill. With an apologetic smile, the bartender excused himself and Melody huffed.

Brynn tapped her on the shoulder. “Hey, girl, I haven’t seen you all night. Where’ve you been hiding?”

Melody turned around and grinned.

“Hey, I could say the same to you. Although, I have an idea of what’s keeping you busy.” She nodded toward Brynn’s table. “How’s it going with the yummy doctor? Are you ready to play nurse yet?”

She groaned. “Seriously? That’s the best you can come up with?”

“Look, I’m three drinks into this. My comedy skills suffer when I’m tipsy.”

Brynn set her champagne on the bar, and then turned back to her friend. “It’s kind of a disaster. He almost cried already.”

She cringed. “Oh, no.”

Brynn held out her palms and shook her head before her friend could go into pity mode. “I don’t even want to talk about it. I’m apparently cursed to be a thirty-year-old born-again virgin.”

“Oh, screw that. You just need to stop looking for the perfect guy and find
a
guy to have some fun with. You could ask out that lawyer who’s starting at the crisis center,” she suggested. “I think he’s Cooper’s friend. And believe me, I mentally undressed him a little while ago and liked what I saw.”

“Oh,
really
, you got to meet him?” Brynn asked, scanning the crowded room to see if she could spot Cooper and her new coworker.

Mel sipped her drink. “Mm-hmm. I ran into Coop a few minutes ago and he introduced us. Apparently, the guy’s starting Monday, so you have two nights to get around your I-don’t-date-people-I-work-with policy. Just enough time for a dirty little fling.”

She rolled her eyes. “Right. I think that’d make for an awkward staff meeting on Monday.”

“Or an interesting one. I’d bet Mr. Dark and Dashing would know exactly how to break you out of your dry spell. You should see the size of his hands,” she said, holding up her palm with a knowing nod.

Brynn snorted. “If he’s so great, why aren’t you weaving your wicked web around him by now?”

“You know I like mine blond—feeds my Leonardo DiCaprio fantasies. Plus,” she said, nudging her shoulder, “you need the action more than me.”

“Good Lord, could you make me sound any more pathetic? It’s not like I’m going to shrivel up and die if I don’t get laid.”

Her expression turned deadpan. “You may. The lawyer may be your only chance before you spontaneously combust from sexual frustration.”

“Oh, please.” Brynn bent down to fiddle with the strap on her shoe. Damn thing was cutting into her ankle like razor wire. She loosened the strap and rubbed her reddened skin. “I’m not going to combust. Who needs the lawyer when I have a perfectly functioning vibrator at home?”

Brynn expected to hear a witty retort, but there was silence. She froze, her gaze still on her shoe. Mel, a former sex therapist, would never stay quiet after a comment like that, especially when her tongue was loose from alcohol. Unless . . .
Shit
. She closed her eyes briefly.

“Hey, ladies, hope I’m not interrupting,” Cooper said, her boss’s baritone voice barely concealing amusement.

Brynn straightened, finding Cooper wearing a shit-eating grin and Melody biting her lip like she was three seconds from bursting into laughter. Brynn slapped on a smile and tried to keep her voice light. “Hey, Cooper. Not interrupting a thing.”

“Good, ’cause I wanted to introduce you to the new lawyer.” Cooper nodded at someone behind Brynn. “This is Reid.”

Brynn’s response lodged in her throat, the all-too-familiar name ringing in her ears.
No, couldn’t be
. But a sinking feeling settled in her gut. She’d only met one Reid in her life, and that Reid was a lawyer. She closed her eyes and took a steadying breath before she turned around to face her new coworker.

Reid’s blue-eyed gaze met her head-on, hitting her like an airbag to the chest. She sucked in a breath and fought the old instinct to lower her eyes in deference.
Son of a bitch, where had
that
urge come from?
She ticked up her chin and gave him her best I-hate-you-but-will-be-polite-because-I’m-the-bigger-person glare. “Hello.”

Cooper walked around Brynn and clapped Reid on the shoulder. “Reid, I’d like you to meet our other social worker, Brynn LeBreck.”

Reid nodded, his expression annoyingly unreadable. “Brynn, pleasure to see you again. It’s been a while.”

Not long enough.
Three years had passed since she’d last seen him. His inky hair was longer on top and a few lines creased the corners of his eyes, but time hadn’t softened her warring responses to him. The urges to pummel his face and strip naked before him held almost equal weight. Luckily, the venue was too public to give in to either. She feigned an air of indifference. “It has.”

“Still as beautiful as ever, though.”

The warm notes of his voice stirred the dark recesses of her memory, further inciting the old longing. She shifted in her heels as hot tingles crept from deep in her belly and moved downward to settle between her legs.
Un-fucking-believable
. Her body was a whoring traitor.

Melody stepped next to Brynn as if sensing her need for support, and Cooper’s eyebrows rose. “You two know each other?”

Boy, did they—in just about every way a man and woman could. She searched Reid’s face, and he tipped his head infinitesimally, as if giving her permission to answer the question. Her eyes narrowed. “Used to. Long time ago.”

Cooper smiled, either oblivious or unperturbed by the tension zipping through the air between her and Reid. “Great. Guess introductions weren’t needed then.”

Nope. Not needed. Brynn knew exactly who Reid Jamison was. A first-class bastard.

Reid tucked his hands in his pockets, his relaxed confidence taunting her. “How’ve you been? Weren’t you working with kids the last time I saw you?”

So this is how he was going to play it, like they were old buddies. Fine. She nodded. “I was. But after my mother’s murder, I decided I should work with troubled women. Someone needs to be on their side.”

Reid’s jaw tightened. “Of course.”

She swallowed the scoff that threatened to escape. Of course, her ass. He’d been all too happy to take on her mother’s killer as a client. Who gave a shit about guilt or innocence if the paycheck was good, right? The ridiculous hormonal surge he’d caused turned frigid with the memory. She shot a pointed glance in the direction of her table. “Sorry I don’t have more time to chat, but I can’t leave my date waiting.”

Reid’s mouth curved upward, the effect more predatory than friendly. “No worries. We’ll have all kinds of time to catch up now that we’ll be working together again.”

Together. Every day. With Reid.
The words felt like shackles locking around her limbs. She attempted a facsimile of a smile, exchanged good-byes with everyone, and then hurried back to her table. Dealing with a weepy date suddenly seemed like cake compared to spending one more second under the knowing gaze of the guy who, once upon a time, had brought her to her knees with a single, charged glance.

* * *

Reid watched the swaying ass of Brynn LeBreck as she hightailed it away from the group and returned to her date. Poor bastard. He’d overheard Brynn say something about her vibrator, so he assumed the guy wasn’t going to be asked in for “drinks” tonight. For some reason, knowing her date didn’t do it for her gave him an odd sort of satisfaction. It’d even been on the tip of his tongue to tell her that if she was in need of a good toe curling, he’d be more than happy to cuff her to
his
bed tonight—no battery-operated intervention needed.

But he figured the whole hating-his-guts thing would probably get in the way of her accepting his invitation. If time was supposed to heal all, Brynn definitely hadn’t gotten the memo. The fury that had flared in those green irises of hers could’ve set his suit on fire. Unfortunately, sharing air with the sexy blonde again had set other things aflame as well. His dick had jumped to attention like a soldier reporting for duty.

And he wasn’t even going to acknowledge the little flip his heart had performed in his chest. Stupid.

It’d been a few years since he’d seen her, ten since he’d touched her, but he remembered the feel of her curves and the taste of her skin as if he’d been buried inside her luscious body yesterday. He yanked at his collar, his tie suddenly feeling like a noose. Maybe it hadn’t been such a good idea to take Cooper up on his offer of cheap rent in exchange for some pro bono work. He’d hesitated when he’d seen Brynn’s name listed on the brochure for the crisis center, but he’d figured he’d be immune to the woman by now. Plus, the deal had been too good to pass up. But now that he’d seen her again, he couldn’t deny that the residue of his old attraction still clung to his bones.
Fuck me
.

“Well, boys, I’m off,” Melody said, dragging Reid’s attention back to the two people standing beside him. “These shoes were made for dancing and the night’s almost over.”

Cooper turned to him after Melody traipsed off. “Man, you look like you need a beer.”

Reid’s shoulders relaxed a bit, and he gave his friend a half-smile. “You have no idea.”

Coop got the bartender’s attention, ordered two Shiner Bocks, and handed one to Reid. They moved away from the busy bar, but remained on the fringes of the milling crowd. His friend took a swig of his beer, then nodded in the direction of Brynn’s table. “So what’s the deal with you two?”

Reid shook his head. “Long story. Shitty ending.”

He chuckled. “I’m guessing there was nakedness involved. I’ve never seen her look so horrified to see someone. Although, I’m having trouble imagining the two of you dating. Brynn’s, uh, not exactly into guys like us.”

Reid eyed his friend. “Guys like us?”

Cooper gave him a wry smile. “The bossy type. I know it’s been a while, but I doubt you’ve changed
that
much since college.”

Reid absentmindedly rubbed the spot on his finger where a ring used to be. No, some things couldn’t be changed, no matter how hard he’d tried. Too bad he hadn’t figured that out before he’d married a woman who thought he was some kind of deviant for wanting to take control in the bedroom.