Not Your Match (13 page)

He closed his eyes, pushing back the tears fighting their way through. “I’m so sorry, Barb. I think this might be my fault.”

“What do you mean?”

“Whitney’s texted me a few times, asking if we could talk. I never responded.”

Her heard Barbara’s breathing on the other end of the line, rapid and panicked. “Will you call and talk to her now? I know you’ve made your decision, but I’m so scared.”

Maybe he should call and talk to Whitney. She needed him. If he didn’t she might . . .

Ben swallowed hard, trying to think clearly. If he called, she would reel him back in. And they would be happy, for a while. But in the end, he’d be right back where he was now. Because it might take six months, or a year, or even two, but she’d leave him again. He shut his eyes tight, gripping the phone. “You know I can’t do that,” he whispered.

“Please.” Her voice choked on the word. “I’m so terrified.”

So was he. But he knew he’d made the right decision for himself, and he had to stick to that. Whitney had left him, not the other way around. “I’m sorry.”

Barb let out a sob. “You were so good to her. I wish things were different.”

“Me too.”

“We’re leaving for Vegas tomorrow to check up on her. I hope you change your mind and come with us. We’d cover all your expenses for the trip.”

“Tell Whitney I’m sorry,” Ben said. “Maybe we can talk in a few months. But right now I can’t. Bye, Barbara.”

He hung up the phone and clenched it in his hand. Then he pounded the steering wheel. Why was this happening? Why couldn’t Whitney admit she was sick and accept the help he’d spent four years trying to convince her to get?

He’d talked until he was blue in the face, trying to convince her the pills were helping her, not hurting her. He’s taken every accusation and blame she’d hurled his direction without complaint. He’d saved her life more than once, taken financial responsibility for her when she couldn’t work, and done his very best to do right by their relationship. In return, he’d been handed a broken heart. Three times.

Feelings raged inside him, and he longed to let them out. For four years he’d kept his emotions to himself. He’d handled everything alone. For once in his life he wanted to be the one to talk while someone else listened. He wanted to be understood.

Ben looked up and saw one of his favorite burger joints across the street, its sign shining like a beacon of hope. He pulled up to the drive-through and ordered two cheeseburger combos. Then he drove back to his condo and headed straight for Andi’s. By the time the nerves hit, he’d already knocked on her door.

What was he doing?
Andi would think he was a freak. Or maybe he’d get lucky and she wasn’t home. What did he want to do, unload his Whitney problems on her?

Yes.
He needed someone to talk to. Someone to convince him he was doing the right thing and shouldn’t rush to Las Vegas. He couldn’t talk to Rachel—she would defend Whitney. He couldn’t talk to Adam—he’d hand Ben a beer and tell him to forget her. Andi was an objective third party.

The door swung open, and Ben held his breath. Andi stood there in a tailored dress suit and heels, like she’d just gotten home.

He could still turn back. Ask some lame question about the condo complex, then turn around and run.

No. He was done making decisions out of fear.

Ben held up the bag of fast food sheepishly. “I grabbed burgers on the way home. Thought you might be hungry.”

Andi’s eyes lit up. She grabbed his arm and dragged him inside. “You’re an angel. I thought I was actually going to have to brave a grocery store tonight. That or eat expired ramen. I was trying to figure out which was the lesser of two evils.”

Ben’s shoulders relaxed, and he followed Andi into her condo. He set the fast food bag on her dining room table, and she brought two tall glasses of water in from the kitchen.

“Sorry, I only have water. Yet another reason I should probably go shopping.” Andi eased into the dining room chair and kicked off her heels. He opened the bag and slid a burger and container of fries across the table, along with a few packets of ketchup.

“I’m glad you were home,” Ben said. “I was already knocking when it occurred to me you might still be at work.”

“Luck’s on your side tonight. Or my side, rather. I’d only been home about a minute.”

Ben swallowed, the discomfort flooding back. “I hope I didn’t interrupt any plans.”

“Did you not hear me tell you about the expired ramen? You saved me from starvation.” She took a bite of the burger and closed her eyes in appreciation. Ben hid a smile. He’d always liked that about Andi. While the rest of the girls in high school pretended to never have an appetite, Andi had eaten at least as much as the guys. She’d never gone for sweets, either. It had always been meat.

“Well, glad I could help.” Ben took a bite of his own burger. “How was work?”

“Ugh.” Andi dipped a few fries in ketchup. “I’m dealing with a custody nightmare right now. Court didn’t go well, and my client’s furious. But what can I do? His ex has proof of cheating, and it states in their prenup he forfeits all custody rights if he’s unfaithful.”

“They can actually put that in a prenup?”

“Yes, and the judge upheld it. The parents ought to be ashamed of themselves. They’re trying to punish each other, but it’s their children that suffer. People get mean in divorces.”

Ben had the sudden urge to reach out and rest his hand on hers, but he settled for a sympathetic smile instead. They were both vulnerable. He’d do well to respect that. “Sounds like your job is rough.”

Andi rolled her shoulders, as though shaking it off. “No job’s roses all the time. Tell me about your day. Did you finish unpacking?”

Ben paused, surprised at the question. Whitney had stopped asking him about his day a long time ago. “Yes. I spent today at school.” So he told her about the equipment he’d discovered, and the ideas he had for incorporating it into lesson plans to help improve test scores. She listened intently and got excited when he did. His heart swelled at the normalcy of the moment.

“This is nice,” Andi said. “Thanks for bringing dinner. I usually eat alone while going over case briefs.”

“I’ve enjoyed it too. Sounds like work keeps you busy.”

“That’s an understatement. I barely have time to breathe these days.”

He heard the longing in her voice, the words she wasn’t saying. Ben forgot his own problems for a moment and focused on Andi. “Is that why you stopped dancing?”

“Mostly.”

“The Andi I knew wouldn’t let something as unimportant as time get in the way of something she loved.”

Her mouth twitched. “You know me that well, do you?”

The tips of his ears burned with heat and he looked away, taking a long sip of water. “I guess not. It’s been a long time since we hung out.”

“I haven’t changed that much. You’re right—I could’ve made time for dancing if I’d tried. But it felt like a waste of time.”

“To you, or to others?” He couldn’t imagine anyone watching Andi dance and thinking it a waste of time. She’d been magnificent on the dance floor, her movements so graceful they could only be described as art.

“Ah, so you can read between the lines. I did love law school, and it was easy to block out dance and focus on that. But my parents had already decided what my future would be, and Mark never understood my obsession with dance.”

“Is that why you decided to start dancing again now?”

“Maybe I decided to dance again because my partner came back.”

Heat sizzled between them, and for a moment, Ben forgot all about Whitney. He wanted to take her in his arms and dance right there in the kitchen. Anything to hold her close.

Andi blinked and looked down, breaking the spell. “So, are you going to tell me how your day really went?”

Ben froze, the conversation with Barbara flooding back. Now that he was actually here, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to talk. Old habits died hard, and he’d never discussed Whitney with anyone but her parents. “I already told you about school.”

She shook her head and her butterscotch waves flipped around her shoulders. Ben grabbed his water and took a long swig.

“I can tell something happened today. Something aside from school,” Andi said.

“Like what?” He tried to look innocent but probably looked like an idiot. He’d forgotten how perceptive she could be.

She scrunched up her nose, making the light spattering of freckles stand out. Adorable. It was the only word that adequately described her.

“You’re hiding something.”

“What are you, psychic?” Ben asked.

“No, I’m a lawyer.” She gave him a knowing expression, and he had to laugh. But it quickly died as worry for Whitney flooded back.

“I got a call from Whitney’s mom. Whitney’s not doing well, and Barbara wants me to go to Vegas and talk to her.”

Andi leaned back in her chair, her expression turning guarded. “Are you going to?”

He fiddled with his burger wrapper, avoiding her eyes. “I wanted to. I feel like this is partly my fault. I didn’t respond to her texts, and now she’s spiraling.”

“You can’t take responsibility for that.”

“I know that, logically.”

“So, are you going to go?”

Slowly he shook his head, meeting her eyes. “No.”

“You still love her, don’t you?”

He swiped a fry through the ketchup. “It doesn’t matter.”

“I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.” Andi rested her hand briefly on his, then pulled it back. “So, are you going to Rachel’s party tomorrow?”

Ben blinked at the sudden change in topic. But he was grateful for it as well. Andi gave him a nod, as though acknowledging he didn’t want to talk about Whitney anymore. “She’d kill me if I didn’t,” Ben said. “Should be fun. Rachel throws a good party.”

“Yeah, she does,” Andi said. “Want to drive over together?”

He could think of a lot of things he wanted to do with Andi—things that made his face flush and nerves tingle. His crush was getting out of control, especially considering he still had confusing feelings for Whitney.

But it would be silly to drive two cars to the same place. It made more sense for them to go the party together.

“Sure. Your car or mine?”

Ben knocked on Andi’s door at a quarter after six, just as they’d discussed. She had to admire his punctuality. Andi opened the door, and her stomach nearly fell through the floor. Ben looked gorgeous
.
He wore dark gray slacks and a red button-up shirt without the tie. His hair was gelled, and his eyes seemed to sparkle.

“Wow, don’t you clean up nice?” Andi held the door open and Ben stepped inside. “Are you ready to kick this year to the curb?”

“Absolutely,” Ben said.

“Me too. It’s been a bit of a downer for me.” She winked. “Next year’s going to be better, though.”

Ben flushed. It only made him that much more adorable. “You look great,” Ben said. “I kinda miss the Christmas sweater though.”

“I didn’t think Rachel would find that sweater as festive as you did. She has no sense of humor when it comes to her parties.” Andi brushed invisible lint off her dark red skirt. She’d dressed up too, in heels and a flirty dress that hit mid-calf. The red of her dress almost perfectly matched Ben’s shirt. When they showed up together, they’d almost look like a couple. Andi pushed the thought aside. “Give me a minute and I’ll be ready to go,” she said.

“Take your time.”

Andi walked into the bathroom and gave herself a spritz of her favorite apple-scented perfume. She fluffed her hair to make sure it was perfect, then swiped on some lip gloss. She returned to the living room to find Ben sitting on her couch, leafing through a magazine.

He looked up, then quickly stood. “Oh. You really meant a minute.”

Andi smirked, pulling her coat out of the closet and shrugging it on. “Yeah. What did you think I meant?”

Ben’s ears turned red. They did that a lot when he was embarrassed. Andi loved it. “Whitney’s ‘just a minute’ meant ‘about an hour.’”

Andi tried to not let his mention of Whitney bug her. “Well I’m not one of those girls. Are you ready?”