Nothing To Lose (A fat girl novel) (32 page)

“Yes, but a visit’s a visit. It’s not the rest of your life. I want to call the airport in the morning and confirm my flight back.”

“Of course. You can call tonight, if you like.”

“Tonight?” She looked surprised.

“Better than that. I have a plane at my disposal.”

“You would.” She had regained her composure. “They do things in a big way here in California.”

He was tracing her face with his finger. “You can’t imagine how much I’ve missed you.”

“Could you say that again, please?” Her voice began to quiver.

“You can’t imagine how much I’ve missed your dear, sweet face.” He felt like an old man. He felt as if he had already lived his lifetime but without her. He held her tightly, as if she might disappear. His best efforts weren’t enough to keep two tears from sliding down his cheek, but it was dark and she couldn’t know.

“It’s certainly a relief to hear that,” she said in a strong, cheerful voice. Then she sighed deeply and asked to go into the house.

In the morning they were both very quiet, as if there was too much at stake to talk casually. The housekeeper’s arrival saved them from having to start. He urged her to use the pool and suggested sending a chauffeured car to show her around but she insisted she would manage on her own.

The moment he left for the office, he began to feel uneasy. As if that would be the last he would see of her. She was such an impulsive person. She was capable of anything. Maybe she wouldn’t even be there when he returned. By eleven o’clock he was sure she was already boarding a plane back to New York and he left the office for home. Her drove faster than was safe and tore through the house looking for her. The house was empty. There were no telltale towels at the pool, not even a chaise out of place. The housekeeper was nowhere in sight, either. He went to sit at the edge of the pool, his briefcase still in his hand. She could have waited, he told himself over and over. She could have waited one rotten day. There was nothing he could think of doing that would help ease the emptiness he felt.

He had been sitting there about twenty minutes when he heard the housekeeper’s ancient Chevy chugging up the hill. When it reached the driveway, they both stepped out.

“You’re still here,” he yelled in relief.

“Of course.” She was confused. “We’ve been out buying things for dinner. Why aren’t you at the office?” she asked sternly.

“Oh, god.” He grabbed her arm and pulled her roughly toward him. “I was sure you’d gone.”

“Why would I be gone?”

“It’s not unlikely given your past behavior. You have a history of rushing out…remember?” He looked at her face and saw a glint of something new. Was it power?

“You were upset when you thought I’d gone?”

“I thought it was crazy …and unnecessary.”

“You don’t want me to go?”

“No.”

“You don’t want me to go so soon, is that it?”

“No. That isn’t it.”

As quickly as it came, the gleam of power was gone and her face was painfully vulnerable. “You don’t want me to go – ever?”

He had to lean very close to hear it but his own answer was strong and clear. “I don’t want you to go ever.”

# # #

About the author: Consuelo Saah Baehr lives in New York. She has had her battles with weight and has also been a copywriter.

By the same author available as e-books

Daughters

Best Friends

100 Open Houses

Spellcheck Nation (short stories)

Report From The Heart (non-fiction)

Jacket design by Amanda Baehr Fuller.