Now and Then (12 page)

Brynn sucked another breath from the paper bag Ford had shoved in front of her face. She needed to find some kind of calm, only there wasn’t any to be had. Because just when she dared to think that maybe things couldn’t get any worse than they already were—

“You own my building.
This
building?” Brynn squeaked again.

“And a handful of other residential and commercial properties around Wicker Park, as well as—” He cleared his throat. “Yes. I own it. Or I own the company that owns it. But it’s really not that big of a deal.”

Right.
Maybe not when compared to the other bomb he’d dropped in the past five minutes.
Hibachi Cannonball.

Ford wasn’t just some gaming geek working two jobs while he dreamed of creating the next big thing. He’d already done it. When Hibachi Cannonball was released five years before, it became an overnight, international sensation, with enough staying power that even now she couldn’t go more than thirty minutes without hearing someone flipping out over a new level, seeing a kid with a veggie skewer plushie, or catching sight of some reference to the megahit in the media. And that was just
one
of his games. She’d played Diet Donut Bowler and Wasabi Maze, too, both favorites among the guys on the crew—and they were
Ford’s games
.

He was
amazing.
And if he stayed with her, everything he had worked so hard for, everything he’d accomplished, all of it would be for nothing. Because once her dad got his hooks into him—

God,
what if he’d already seen them together?

What if he already knew?

Tossing the paper bag aside, she pushed up from her little spot on the floor where she’d been leaning against the fridge and rushed to the front window, closing the blinds as fast as she could twist that annoying crappy handle.

No.

Danny would have said something if he knew about Ford. He’d have wanted her to know. He’d have asked for more money.

“Brynn, just calm down. The money doesn’t change anything.”

She wanted to laugh, only there was nothing funny about what this meant.

“Really,” she asked, turning back to Ford. “Is that why you told me about it the first night?”

He rubbed at the back of his neck, violently pushing to his feet. “You know what I mean. I don’t tell people about the games because—”

“
It changes things.
Makes you a target for certain types of people. People like Danny Ahearne. And I’m betting that’s a lesson you learned pretty quick.” If only he’d learned it better. Well enough to see past this fairy tale he was telling himself about love being enough to protect them from a serial extortionist. From a man who didn’t care enough for his own family to insulate them from the consequences of his actions.

“Yes, I didn’t tell you right away. But not because I thought it would change
you,
Brynn. I never thought—”

“I’m not upset you didn’t tell me.” She shook her head. “I mean I am, but only because I never would have let myself get so close to you if you had.”

She wished she’d known, just so she could have hugged him and walked away. Run, probably. Left him to the life he’d earned for himself. But instead Ford had gone and done the logical thing, the smart thing, and waited until their feelings were defined. Waited for her to confess to loving him as the man who needed two jobs to stay afloat—though now that she thought about it, that was a conclusion she’d jumped to on her own.

“Then it’s a good thing I waited,” he stated, arms crossed over his broad chest.

She shook her head. Ford needed to get out of there. Fast.

“Whatever you’re thinking, Brynn, stop it,” he said. “The money isn’t going to change us. Except maybe I’ll put some of it to use in getting us clear of your dad’s mess once and for all.”

He had no idea.

“Ford, don’t you see? That’s exactly the kind of overconfidence a man like my father loves to see in the next mark. It’s exactly the kind of naïveté guys like Timothy O’Shea find particularly convenient when they’re
making their point
about how things are going to work. It’s the kind of thinking that put Carl and his sister in the hospital.”

And he wasn’t listening. “Brynn, I’m begging you. Trust me. I won’t let any of that happen.”

Her breath hitched as the certainty of the situation settled in her belly like a lead weight. “Here’s what I can trust in: if my father ever gets even an inkling of who you are, he’ll never leave you alone. It’ll be just like when he found out about the money for my education—he won’t stop until he has what he wants. He’ll take bigger and bigger risks, knowing the money is out there and all he has to do is find a weak spot so he can get his hands on it. He’ll do what he always does and borrow from the wrong people. Make bad bets. Screw the wrong guy on some shady business deal and need to pay him back. And then he’ll try to use me as leverage against you. And trust me, the guys he owes know how to get paid back, Ford. He’ll make sure they know about us. And once you give in, he’ll promise and swear it’s the last time. That he’s learned his lesson. But it won’t be and he hasn’t. If I stay with you, he’s going to ruin your life the way he has mine. And that’s not something—”

“Stop!” he ordered, the single word exploding through the otherwise silent apartment. “Just don’t. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want you to even think it. We’re in this together now, the way we should have been from the start. You’ve got to believe me, baby. I’m a fucking smart guy with a shit ton of resources at my disposal. I can keep you safe from this. Trust me and I’ll give us the future we should have had.”

“You can’t,” she said, her voice breaking on a sob. It wasn’t
her
she was worried about.

“I’m not letting you go.” He grabbed her shoulders, the rough hold matching his voice. “Do you understand that, Brynn? I lost you once; I won’t lose you again. And I sure as fuck won’t let you leave me so you can deal with the threats and violence your dad brings into your life alone. I lost my parents in the blink of an eye. Not one fucking thing I could have done to save them. And that kills me, but it’s something I’ve learned to live with. With you? If anything happened to you—Christ, don’t you get this?—I
couldn’t
live with it. I won’t. So tell me we’re on the same page here, Brynn. Tell me that you’re going to let me keep you safe. That you’re going to let me get you out of this.”

Taking the hard set of his jaw in her palm, she stroked her thumb across his cheek. She loved him. How could she not understand? She felt the same way. Like she’d do anything, take any risk, to keep him safe.

Pressing a tender kiss to his lips, she nodded. “Okay. I’ll let you keep me safe.”

It had taken some doing, but in the end, Ford convinced Brynn to come back to his place. She’d agreed to bring most of her clothes with her and once everything was settled, once she saw that she didn’t need to worry about her father anymore, they’d figure out what to do with her apartment and her things. Which meant he’d had some time to make a few calls while she packed. Call in some favors.

Turned out his Andes climbing buddies couldn’t have been happier to hear from him—shit, they’d been talking about him just that afternoon—and as to getting some security set up? They’d have people in place by the next day. Well-seasoned, discreet, quality guys keeping an eye on Brynn, her mother, her brother, and Ava, Maggie, and Penelope.

Once they’d settled into his apartment with a Lou Malnati’s sausage, peppers, and onions, Ford had wanted to know more about her past. Her family. At first she resisted, not wanting to dredge up any more unpleasantness, but it was important to him. So he’d pressed and she told him about O’Shea and how growing up, she’d thought of the man like an uncle. She told him about her father and how despite his failings, everyone seemed to love the man. How she’d worshipped him as a child, but as she got older, she hadn’t been able to understand the way everyone forgave his every sin when he did so much to hurt the people around him. She told him about her mother and the willing victim she’d made of herself. About the life Brynn had lived up until that point. The
real life
she’d hidden for so long.

She gave him the truth about herself.

She gave him her trust.

And when he took her to bed that night, laid her back against his sheets, and made love to her, it was the most honest moment of his life. Buried deep within the snug hold of her body, their eyes locked, he told her it was forever. He kissed the tears that slipped from the corners of her eyes as she whispered, “I want that.”

He’d fallen asleep to her rhythmic breathing against his chest and her promise that she would let him handle her father and O’Shea.

And then he’d woken up. The clock read 5:07 and his arms were empty. The sheets on Brynn’s side of the bed were cool, the apartment around him silent.

His heart started to pound as he called her name and shot from the bed. Maybe she hadn’t been able to sleep. Yeah. That was it—she was nervous and she’d gotten up. She probably ended up falling asleep on his couch and when he found her there she was going to be all sexy and sleep rumpled, giving him that shy smile he’d never be able to defend against.

Only the living room was empty. Like his office and every other inch of his fucking place.

Including the corner where they’d left the two bags of clothes she’d brought with her from her apartment. The clothes she’d told him she didn’t want to unpack the night before because she was tired.

Stalking back to the kitchen, he found what he’d knew would be there. The single sheet of paper scrawled in blue ink.

I meant what I said. I want forever. I wish we could have it. But I love you too much to let you get involved with these people.

Have a beautiful life, Ford. It will make me happy to know that you do.

Love always,

Brynn

Beneath the flickering overhead lights in Jet’s kitchen, Brynn sat staring at her laptop and the bank statement she’d pulled up on it. Even if she withdrew everything from her account it wouldn’t be close to what her dad owed O’Shea. But what she had was better than nothing, and if she went to Timothy
before
he sent Benny or one of his other thugs to get it, maybe he’d be willing to negotiate a payment plan of sorts.

Of course he would. Because unlike her father, so long as she kept working, she could be counted on to pay.

Yep. She could definitely do this.

Even if her actions were akin to putting one of those tiny sized bandages on a wound that was bleeding out, she’d get them past this debt. This crisis that would not be the last.

All she could hope was that her father waited until she’d dug them out before he compounded this latest mistake with another. Before his debts became something so big, even with her working to pay them off it wouldn’t be enough to prevent the necessary points to be made. She couldn’t let herself think about that or it would make her sick, break her down when she needed to be strong. Today was about dealing with what she could control.

Her phone rang and she blinked back the tears that were still well
beyond
her control. Her dad calling this time. Not Ford, who’d been blowing up her phone since just after five. About an hour after she’d slipped out of his place like some thief in the night. She’d texted him once, after the first call, to tell him she was all right. And then she’d left the rest of his messages unread.

Eventually he’d understand. He’d have to.

She let her father’s call go through to voicemail, too, and after a moment the little message icon popped up on her notification bar.

Danny liked the idea of her helping him out all right, but he wasn’t any fan of her handling the delivery of the money herself. Too dangerous, he’d said, which coming from him was a laugh.

Dangerous would be including
him
in the chain of custody.
Hoping
he’d actually give her entire savings to O’Shea, rather than get sidetracked and place another “sure thing” bet. Maybe flash it around like he was flush while he set the next sucker up for a deal designed to scam.

Pass.

Dear old dad wasn’t laying a finger on one red cent of her money again. Not for as long as she lived. She’d handle things on her own. Because as it was, Benny D. probably had her interests more at heart than her own father. Maybe even Timothy, too.

A moment later Jet shuffled into the kitchen wearing a pair of too loose boxers and a white T-shirt with a hole in the armpit. She’d known him long enough not to say anything until he’d gotten his coffee, and this morning she was grateful for the extra time.

The pot clanked too hard against the mug and Jet muttered an oath she couldn’t quite make out. But then he was sliding into the seat across the table from her, looking her over warily.

“Are you going to cry again?”

She shook her head, hoping she was all cried out, but not entirely trusting her voice if she wasn’t.

“It’s okay if you need to.”

“Thank you,” she managed without shedding a tear. “For letting me crash here. For…everything.”

He nodded, staring into his cup. “Are you sure about all this? About Boston?” Then, slumping deeper into his chair, he added, “Fucking
Boston,
Brynn.”

“I’ll still be working the TNT games, so we’ll see each other. And someplace new is going to be good, I think.” She hoped.

It would be hard at first, because there was no part of leaving Ford that was going to be easy. But at least if she was across the country, she’d know she wasn’t going to bump into him on the street. She wouldn’t have to worry about looking across the bar and seeing him out with a date. Or the temptation to just forget about all the overwhelming reasons she needed to stay away from him, and then running the few blocks to his place and begging him to take her back.

Jet pushed up from his chair and gave her shoulder a short squeeze. “Stay as long as you need to. And just—
shit
—text me to let me know you’re okay tonight, will you?”

“I will.”

In Ford’s life there’d been a handful of incidents that when looking back, he couldn’t believe the idiot he’d been.

Partnering up with Harry Liebmacher on his first game—yeah, that had been pure idiocy. Trusting him with the data and files and never thinking for a second the asshole would take all of it and release the game on his own. His lawyer told him he was a fool for not taking him to court, but at the time his parents had just been killed in a car crash, and what was left of his family, Ava and Sam, needed him. The last thing he cared about was some game, even a game he’d worked on for a year. Besides, Harry had been an impatient fuck and hadn’t been able to wait for Ford to implement the final changes, which would have taken the game from mediocre to something that could have been spectacular, before launching it. In the end, the couple of grand the guy earned wasn’t worth pursuing, and Ford stood by his decision on that.

Another head-hanging moment: believing Paulina Devlin’s sudden and overwhelming interest in him had to do with anything other than learning he was the guy behind Hibachi Cannonball. Ava had told him he ought to be careful about whom he shared that information with, but then he’d been a few bourbons past a bad idea when Paulina prowled by in a black backless dress that dipped low enough to show off the twin indents at the base of her spine. The next morning he’d woken to her in his bed telling him she thought she loved him. He tried to be polite, but not saying those words back had led to a bout of pretty tears and a heap of totally misplaced guilt. Two days later she was trying to talk him into a penthouse apartment in one of the skyscrapers downtown, pointing out jewelry she liked before dropping to her knees, and making travel plans like it went without saying they’d be together for the months and years to come. He hadn’t been so sure, but she was exciting and sexy, and he figured why not give it a chance.

By that time, he’d known not to expect anything like he’d felt for Brynn. So with Paulina he lowered his expectations and just went with it. A week later she’d hit on Sam, promising that Ford never needed to know. She obviously hadn’t known Sam, because the guy was as loyal as they came and Ford knew about Paulina’s proposition approximately three and a half minutes after she made it. That had been the end of that. Well, that and a fat check and some fancy footwork from his legal team to get her to sign the nondisclosure agreement she’d shockingly abided by.

He’d never made that mistake again.

Two humiliating incidents in his life, and yet they didn’t hold a candle to what he’d felt when he realized Brynn had played him
again.
Betrayed him.

In those first moments, the cold panic at finding Brynn gone had nearly overwhelmed him. And once he’d realized what she’d done and that she was okay, panic had turned to rage, which then—out of necessity—had turned to an icy calm and clear sense of purpose. Brynn was at Jet’s apartment. He knew she was safe, thanks to her text. And while she hadn’t specified where she was…she was using her phone, and phones could be tracked. They could be hacked. And while as a rule, Ford preferred to keep his tech-savvy skills on the up-and-up, he had a few friends from college who were plenty comfortable wading around in the gray areas. The
dark gray
areas. And with Brynn’s future on the line, he had no problem joining them.

Enter Dieter Minkes, Saul Green, and Blake Willis. Dieter was his teaching assistant from junior year and a guy whose favorite hobby was collecting firewall breaches to top-level financial institutions and government organizations. Fortunately, the guy was harmless and did it for the thrills and not to screw with the system. Saul was his sophomore lab partner and a man with a slightly less hands-off approach to the average individual’s privacy. And then there was Blake, whom he’d met fulfilling a language elective and happened to have a thing for phones.

“Saul, what have you got?” Ford said, answering his call on the first ring. His fingers flew over the keys, accessing one restricted site after another.

“O’Shea’s ‘accountant’—not who’s filing his taxes, by the way—is a guy named Bellamy. Bellamy’s clumsy and careless, more meathead than mathlete. He’s done a few stints, but the two go way back, and this is the guy O’Shea trusts.”

What they were doing was illegal. Unquestionably.

Ford knew it. And the guys knew it. Hell, the guys thrived on it, but for him it wasn’t about a rush or thrill. It was about getting Brynn out from under her father’s cycle of debt and violence. And he couldn’t—
wouldn’t
—risk her safety or peace of mind for a single day longer than necessary just to stay within the confines of the law. He wanted her free. Safe.

He’d
promised
he could end this—and that was what he was going to do.

By any means necessary.

“So, you able to find anything worth a little leverage?”

Saul laughed, the cocky son of a bitch. “Yeah, you could say that.”

Six o’clock. Brynn had long since given up on trying to relax. But eventually, despite the sluggish ticking of time and her mind’s incessant spinning through one scenario after another, from worst case to best and back again, it was time to meet Timothy. Collecting the water glass from the windowsill where she’d stood watching life drift by for the better part of the afternoon, she carried it back to the kitchen.

That gnawing sense of dread picked up as she went to check her purse and counted out the bills one last time. She couldn’t give Timothy any reason to doubt her. Any reason to feel like it was necessary to make a point.

“I can keep you safe, Brynn.”

Ford’s promise had been rushing through her mind from the minute she left his bed. Heck, who was she kidding? From the minute he’d said them, she’d wanted to believe. And if anyone could fulfill that promise, it was Ford. But that was one risk she wasn’t willing to take. Not for her own sake, but for his. She couldn’t allow him to be dragged into this cycle of greed and debt and danger she’d been stuck in her whole life. She couldn’t take his security and toss it away, just because being with him made her world a place she actually wanted to live in.

She couldn’t be that selfish.

She loved him too much.

Drawing a deep breath through her nose, she straightened her shoulders and tamped down the worry and dread eating her gut until it had become a hardened layer beneath her resolve. She’d gathered as much money as she could get. She had a plan. And she could only hope that Timothy was in one of his more reasonable moods.

Walking to the front window, she looked out onto the street below. No sign of Benny. Not that she’d been expecting to see him, but then it wouldn’t have been the first time her dad had misrepresented the seriousness of a situation for his own benefit.

Her dad had let Timothy know she would be coming to him and then relayed the Irishman’s dictate for time and place. Ten o’clock. At the warehouse he called his office.

A location she’d been to more times than she could count. A place where she’d sat on Timothy’s lap and pushed pens around his desk while her dad took care of business. A place where she’d sat once or twice not exactly understanding the uneasy tension between her dad and Timothy until much later, when she’d figured out that ride Benny had given her after school wasn’t because it was raining. But because they were making a point to her dad.

Her legs felt numb as she crossed to the door. Her fingertips going pins and needles as she gripped the knob. It was going to be okay.

She and Timothy would come to an agreement—and unlike her dad, she would stand by it. She would deliver on time, every time. And everything would be fine.

Except for the part where she’d given up the only man she’d ever loved.

Her throat went tight, but there was no time for tears or nerves or the second thoughts she was having about her decision to go to Timothy’s alone. At night. With only a portion of the cash her dad owed.

Swallowing hard, she shook her head. Too late to back out.

She locked up Jet’s place and took the stairs down the three flights, her unease mounting with every step. And then she was swinging open the security door, her focus on her car parked a quarter of a block down when—

“Where you headed, Brynn?”

The unexpected words hit her like a bolt of lightning, firing up her entire nervous system in shocked warning. Staggering back, she nearly fell, but then those big hands were locked around her arm and waist, holding her steady as the fresh laundry smell washed over her in a calming wave.

“Ford,” she gasped, leaning into him in relief before she tried to jump back again. “Wha—what are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing. But then I’ve got a pretty good idea already.”

That’s when she heard it—
felt it.

He was furious.

“Ford, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to lie to you, but I needed—”

“Me to let my guard down?” he cut in sharply. “So you could rush off and risk your safety—damn it, maybe even your life—when I was right here. Right here ready to help you. Fucking
begging
to help you.”

The force of his words made her flinch—but then she was straightening her spine to meet his eyes. Because in this
she was right.
“I didn’t want your help, Ford. I didn’t want you to be involved. But you wouldn’t listen.”

“Because these guys are dangerous. You told me yourself!”

She shook her head. “I was handling it.”

And then it occurred to her, maybe she could still keep Ford safe. Still keep him from hitting her father’s radar, or Timothy’s. She looked him square in the eye. “
I did handle it.
It’s done and I’m fine.”

He had to believe her. It was the only way she could protect him.

Eyes to the sky, he let out a sharp, humorless laugh, prompting a newer, deeper feeling of dread in her stomach.