Now or Never (5 page)

“Fine. I was waiting up for you. Is it such a bad thing that I miss you?”

“No. I missed you, too.” Plopping down on the couch, he wrapped an arm around Em and tucked her close to his side, grateful that her skin felt cool to the touch.

Em snuggled closer and her stomach growled.

“You’re hungry.”

“I’m fine.” She was a terrible liar. One of the things he loved about her.

“When’s the last time you ate?”

She didn’t answer. She only did that when she knew he wouldn’t like her answer. He usually loved that about her, too, but now it just made him tense.

“What did you have for breakfast this morning?”

She shrugged.

“Em?”

“We were out of cereal.”

“Lunch?”

She shrugged again. “And bread.”

Dammit
. “So, you haven’t eaten anything all day?”

“I’m really not hungry, Jay.”

Her belly growled again in protest and Jay frowned. “You’re stomach seems to disagree. Come on, let’s go find it something to eat.”

“I don’t need—”

“Did that sound like a question?” He hauled her to her feet and propelled her toward the kitchen.

She took a seat on one of the rickety chairs, looking resigned as he ripped apart the cabinets. No wonder she didn’t want him looking in them. There wasn’t a damn thing in there.

“Why didn’t you tell me we were out of food?”

“Because it doesn’t matter. We don’t get paid for two more days.”

“I could have—”

“No, Jay. There’s nothing either of us
could have done about it. It’s fine. We aren’t completely out. There’re a couple of cans of soup under the sink. And, we both work tomorrow, so we can grab something there.”

As long as they weren’t greedy about it, Bart didn’t mind the staff snacking on leftovers or returned meals in the kitchen.

“Fine. At least let me make you some soup. You need to eat, Em.”

“So do you, Jay.”

“I ate.” Dammit all to hell. Em had been sitting around hungry all day while he’d been eating with Sahara. This shit wasn’t supposed to happen anymore.

Chapter Eight

Em

Morning rolled around lazily. They were finally back to working their normal shifts, closing together, so there was no rush to get moving. Em lounged in bed, while Jay made it his mission to find s
omething
for them to eat for breakfast.

Twenty minutes later, she was beginning to wonder if he’d called in a search party. Or crawled into a bare cabinet and gotten lost.

“Jay?” Em finished buttoning her pants as she made her way toward the kitchen. “Where did you—?”

The doorbell cut her off just as she stepped into the living room. Switching directions, she headed across the cold wood floor toward the front door. They rarely had visitors, so she pulled it open with a healthy dose of caution.

“Good morning.” A tall man with broad shoulders and close cropped dark hair stood on the porch.

“Morning.”

He grinned. “How are you doing . . .?”

“Em,” she supplied automatically. “And I’m fine, thanks. Is there something I can help you with?”

“Nice to meet you.”

He held out his hand and Em’s anxiety shot up, but she choked it back. She couldn’t spend forever a
fraid to touch people. After all, he was probably some neighbor that had finally gotten around to welcoming them to the neighborhood, or something. How would it look if she refused to even shake his hand?

Stifling the cringe that threatened to surface, she forced herself to relax and allow him to encase her small hand in his much larger one.
His grip was hard and when she pulled back, he failed to release her, doubling Em’s heart rate.

“Where’s Julian?” It took her a moment to register who he was looking for, having only heard Jay’s real name once before.

“Why are you looking for him?”

“Who is it, babe?” Jay came up behind her and Em turned just in time to see him freeze in his tracks. For a seemingly endless moment, Jay just stared at the man at the do
or, but his eyes were so cloudy she doubted he was really seeing him at all.

“Jay?” Her voice snapped him back from wherever he’d gone and he stepped forward, wrapping a strong arm around her waist and hauling her backward into his chest. His heart was beating so hard she could feel it pounding against her spine.

“What are you doing here?” Jay’s voice was deceptively low, but there was no mistaking the tremor of fear behind it.

“I want the money.”

Money? What money?
Em’s mind scrambled to play catch up. They didn’t have any money. They’d spent his grandparent’s money on the house and . . .
His grandparent’s money
. The money Jay’s
father
had been using until he inherited it when he turned eighteen.

Oh, crap.

Jay’s arm was like a steel band around her middle, but it melted away under her gentle prying. Stepping away from him, Em gripped the door so hard her fingers ached. She really wanted to grip something else, like that bastard’s throat.

“You need to leave. Now. And if you ever come near us again, I’ll call the police.” She slammed the door with a force that surprised even her and made every frame in the house rattle.

When she turned around, Jay was standing in the exact spot she’d left him, unmoving. She walked to him and his arms opened automatically. Em didn’t hesitate to throw herself into them. Jay buried his face in her neck as she brought her arms around his back. Even through his shirt, she could feel the marks that monster had left on his body and the way he trembled from head to toe.

“It’s okay, baby. It’s okay. He’s gone. He’s gone and we’re here. Together. Everything’s okay.” She knew she was babbling, but she didn’t care. If the words existed to calm him, she would find them, even if she had to go through every word in the English language.

Jay’s head pulled back and his deep blue eyes focused on her with alarm. “You’re everything to me. You know that, right?”

Em could only nod and force the words past the lump in her throat. “And you’re
my everything. As long as we’re together, everything will be all right.”

“I love you.” Jay’s warm lips pressed against her temple and she felt his chest expand against her with a deep steadying breath.

“I love you, too.”

He allowed her to hold him a short while longer, before extracting himself from her embrace and heading back into the kitchen. Em followed slowly, not entirely sure what was going through his head. He’d found gravy—who knows where—and was heating it on the stove, while biscuit batter sat in a bowl on the counter.

Her fingers itched to touch him, but she forced herself to stand back and watch him move silently around the room, scooping batter and putting the tray in the oven. When he slammed it shut hard enough to jostle the bowl off the counter, Em jumped.

“Jay?”

“I can’t.” His hand drove forcefully through his hair, tugging at the roots.

“Jay, everything’s going to be—”

“I can’t believe this shit.”

Em felt herself tense at the venom in his tone, though she knew it wasn’t meant for her. She’d rarely seen Jay so angry.

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay, Em. He was
here
. Talking to you.
Touching
you. Son of a bitch!” In a single fluid move, he swooped down, snatched the bowl off the floor and slammed it down in the sink. “I should have seen this coming. I should have known things couldn’t be so simple. That he’d never give up that kind of money without a fight. He never does anything without a fight.”

Jay had a habit of talking with his hands, especially when he was upset. They were moving a mile a minute now as he paced the small space between the sink and fridge like a caged tiger.

“
Dammit
, why can’t I just keep you safe?”

“Jay, you—” Em stepped forward to comfort him at the same moment he whirled around to face her and his outstretched palm slammed across her cheek. Pain exploded behind her right eye and she stumbled sideways. Feet twisted, she fell before she could grab a hold of the counter and found herself sprawled across the peeling linoleum of the kitchen floor.

Em gasped—more out of surprise than anything else—and struggled to right herself. Untangling her legs, she leaned back against the cabinets. That’s when she saw Jay. The anger had completely drained from his face, replaced by a look of horror so tangible it made her heart skip a beat.

“Jay?” She licked her lower lip and tasted a small amount of blood.

He blinked down at her, but the horror remained etched into each of his features. “Oh, my God.”

“Jay, it’s—”

“Oh, my God!” Instead of offering her a hand, he took a step back.
Away
. And then another. “What did I do? Oh, my God.”

“Jay, no. It’s okay.”

“
Okay?
” Some of the anger was returning. “That is not okay. That is
never
okay. How can you even
say
that?”

“It was an accident.”

“That’s what she used to say. She said it all the time.
Every
time.”

The panic in his voice twisted Em’s stomach to knots. “Who? What are you talking about?”

“My mother.” His voice was barely above a whisper, but those two words echoed through the room. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, Em. I’m so sorry.” He continued to back away as he spoke. One foot behind the next, never looking where he was going, but he made it to the front door.

He paused there, shaking his head
, and Em’s heart thumped in her chest. She couldn’t let him leave. Not like this.

“Jay, where are you going?” He just kept shaking his head like he couldn’t believe any of this was real. “Jay, please. You’re scaring me.”

“You should be scared!” With that he turned and disappeared out the door, slamming it shut behind him before she could think of another word to say.

Jay was gone. He was gone. He left. The thought held Em immobile until she heard the sound of the truck starting up in the driveway. Hauling herself to her feet, she raced to the front door, but by the time she threw it open all she saw wa
s the tailgate disappearing in a cloud of fresh fallen powder.

Em stood there for a long time, staring down the road like she expected him to come to his senses and turn around. He didn’t.

The sun was slipping behind dark clouds that promised more snow in the near future when the sound of the smoke alarm drew her back inside. Black smoke wafted from the oven. Using a dish rag to fan the alarm, Em pulled out a dozen blackened biscuits.

After tossing them in the trash and opening a window to air out the room, she sat on the couch
to wait. She’d just wait. Jay would come back. He’d get his head together and then he’d come home to her. Everything was going to be fine. It was just one of those bumps in the road. They’d weathered plenty of those. This was no different. It couldn’t be. She’d just wait.

Chapter Nine

Jay

He’d hurt her.

Hit
her.

Em.

His
Em.

Jay couldn’t get the image of her lying on the kitchen floor, a red mark marring her cheek
, from his mind. He’d done that to her. There wasn’t enough road in the world for him to drive to leave that thought behind, but he tried. He just kept driving. No particular destination in mind. Windows down, radio blaring. Nothing helped.

His one purpose in this life was to take care of that girl. Protect her. But what if he was the one she needed protection from? What if there was something wrong with him? Something spoiled? Something rotten deep down? Something he’d inherited? Or acquired? How could he protect her from the monster living in her own house? Sleeping in her own bed?

‘It was an accident.’
That’s what Em said. And it was, wasn’t it? He hadn’t meant to hurt her. He’d never hurt her. But the fact remained, he had. The awful image of Em morphed. Her dark hair lightened to a pale blonde. She grew taller and heavier, and her face . . . His mother’s face stared back at him, wide-eyed and frantic.

“It was just an accident, Jay. Just an accident. He didn’t mean it.”

Was that his and Em’s future? His parents couldn’t have always been the way he remembered them. They must have loved each other, once. Before everything went to shit. How had it started? With a lost temper? A bad day? An honest accident?

However
it started, it always ended the same. Fists, belts, golf clubs . . . it didn’t matter. She made the same damn excuses every time. Jay had made them, too. For years. He’d just never been fool enough to convince himself of them before. And he wasn’t going to start now. Accident or not, there was no excuse for what he’d done to Em.

On top of all that,
he
was back. That ham fisted asshole
had laid his hands on Em. Not in any violent way, but enough to give Jay the unshakable image. She was working tooth and nail every day to claw her way out of her own pile of shit, and now she was about to get buried in a whole new pile of his. She didn’t deserve that. She deserved a better life. A good life. The life he’d promised her. The life he’d failed to provide for her.

Em
was worthy of someone who could make her happy, give her the things she needed. Someone who could take her to an actual doctor when she was sick. Someone who could feed her. Someone who could
face
her.

Weak
.

He couldn’t keep running forever.

Pathetic
.

Sooner or later he’d have to go home. And knowing Em, it should be sooner because she was probably worried sick.

Loser.

She deserved so much better.