Nuptials for Sale (3 page)

“Mom, I’ve got to go.  I’ll call you later.”  I hung up and shut off my phone before she had the chance to argue with me.     

I clicked on the video and watched in horror as Josh’s joke proposal was broadcast across the internet.  My eyes panned down the page to the comments listed. 

An hour later, I was still reading the comments when my office phone rang. 

“Hello, Mel Holden, how can I help you?” I spit out my usual robotic greeting without looking away from the screen.

“Trip?”

I leaned down closer to my desk and whispered into the receiver, “Oh my God, Josh.  Have you seen it?”

“Yes.  Some girl at work showed it to me.  How are you handling this?” Josh sounded concerned.

“I don’t think anyone at work has seen it yet, or at least they haven’t said anything to me.  Josh, this thing is huge.  It’s got over a million hits and counting.  There’s no way we can keep this a secret from everyone.”

“I know.  I just got off the phone with your mom.”

I mimicked beating my head against my desk, “She called you too?”

“Yes, she’s quite upset with us.” He said the last part in a perfect imitation of my mom’s voice.  “She’s ecstatic, but still upset.”

I rolled my eyes and groaned, “She already called me. That’s how I found out about it.”

Josh laughed at me.

“Don’t laugh!  You’re just as much in this as I am.” 

“I know, but there’s nothing we can do about it now.  I’ll stop and pick up some Chinese for dinner and we’ll figure out a way to get out of this.” 

I could tell he was still smiling, though he’d at least put effort into not laughing anymore.

“Fine, but I’m telling you right now, you’re going to have to be the one to tell her that we’re not really getting married.  There is no way I’m doing it.” 

“Sweetheart, just come home and we’ll talk about all the details for the wedding then,” he said it sweetly and then followed it up with kissing noises into the phone.

“You’re an ass, you know that!” I said with a smile.

I thought I was going to make a clean break from work, but with ten minutes left in the day an e-mail message popped up in my inbox.  The subject line said it all, “I wonder where they’ll register?”

Shit!  I thought to myself and clicked the message open.  Sure enough, there was the link to my video.  The message had been forwarded to everyone in the office and I could actually hear the video playing from several cubicles around me.  Giggles, chuckles, and a few loud roars filled the office as people realized exactly what they were watching. 

I shook my head and shut my computer off.  I grabbed my purse and headed for the elevator.  My foot tapped impatiently as I waited for the doors to open.

“Congratulations, Mel.”

I turned to see Bobby smiling at me. 

I smiled back at her but couldn’t bring myself to speak. 

The doors to the elevator opened up and I threw myself in before Bobby could say anything else.

True to his word, when I got home dinner was on the table.  There was also a bottle of wine, a beer, and two lit candles. 

“I figured we could have a nice candle-lit dinner to celebrate the fact that our engagement has gone public.” Josh said as he came sweeping into the dining room from the kitchen.  He had a wine glass and two forks in his hands.

I gave him a disapproving look.  “Part of me is starting to think that you’re enjoying this.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?  This has got to be my best prank ever, right?” his face was beaming with pride.

“Yes, well, your mom is not calling you excited about the prospect of having a married daughter.  We have to tell her soon before she starts asking when we are going to give her a grandchild.”  I dished out Lo Mein as he poured wine into my glass.

He laughed dryly, “You’re right, ‘cause if my mom starts calling, we’ve got bigger problems than explaining this prank.”

My face fell and I felt awful.  “I’m sorry Josh.  I didn’t mean to be insensitive.” 

Josh’s mom passed away our freshman year at State.  He’d taken it pretty hard.  For the first few months afterwards, he’d stuck pretty close to me.  Without meaning to, I’d put my foot in my mouth. 

He gave me a small smile to let me off the hook.

“No worries,” he held up his beer and I picked up my wine glass, “Here’s to figuring it all out.” 

We clinked glasses and started dinner. 

“Any ideas on how to handle this?” I asked between bites.

“I was thinking,” he started but the house phone rang and he jumped up to get it.  “Hold that thought for me.”

I took a few more bites while Josh was on the phone in the living room.  I couldn’t make out what he was saying, but sensed something unusual in the tone he was using.  He was using his business voice, the same one he used when his boss called him. 

I listened half-heartedly as Josh talked to the mystery caller.  He seemed to be using “uh-huh” and “okay” a lot.  Hopefully he wasn’t getting fussed at, or worse, fired.  He was definitely having a serious discussion.  After ten minutes, he hung up the phone.

“Was that your boss?  Do you have to work this weekend?” I asked him when he came back to the table, phone off, but still in his hand.  His face was white and his eyes were glassy.

“No.”

“Was it my dad?” A moment of panic hit me at the thought of my father calling Josh.  Sure, my mom said they liked Josh and were happy for us, but maybe my dad saw it differently and wanted to have a heart-to-heart with his future son-in-law

“No.”

“Thank goodness,” I sighed.  “Who was it then?”

“It was a producer from Wake up America.” 

“What?  Why would a producer from Wake up America call you?” I laughed at his weak attempt at a joke.  He was usually so much better than that.

He turned to me with a panicked look. 

“They want us on the show.  They played the video on the show this morning and someone tracked us down.  They want to fly us out to New York for the show on Monday morning.”

“Stop joking around, Josh.  Who was really on the phone?” I laughed at him again, but there was definitely something growing in the pit of my stomach. 

“I’m not joking, Mel.  He said that they played the video because it was such a viral sensation, and that they’ve had several hundred calls about it since it aired this morning.” He reached for his beer and took a long swig.

I stared at him, trying to will him into bursting with laughter.  Surely he was joking around with me. 

“He’s going to call me back this weekend with our flight and hotel information.” Josh said after he put his beer down.

“You told him we’d come on the show?” I asked incredulously.

He seemed to come alive.  He threw his hands up and stared at me, “I didn’t know what to say.  He caught me by surprise.  I said yes before I had even really processed what he was asking me.”

“Josh, we can’t go on national television and tell everyone it was just a joke.”  I could feel my heart racing.  A panic attack was building inside me.

He nodded.

“We can’t go on national television and pretend to be engaged either!”

He nodded again.

“How are we going to get out of this, Josh?”  My body temperature was rising.  I put my fork down and started fanning myself. 

“I don’t know.”  He shook his head back and forth.  “I don’t think we can.”

“This is so much worse than having to tell my mom.” 

“I know.”

We finished dinner in silence.  After we ate, I loaded the dirty dishes in the dishwasher as Josh headed to the living room.  My panic attack and settled, but the pit in my stomach was still there.  I thought about it the whole time I cleaned up from dinner. 

When I was done I headed into the living room.  I expected to find him playing video games, but instead he was just sitting on the couch.  He hadn’t even bothered to turn the television on.  I grabbed the remote from the coffee table and turned the television on.  I flipped through the channels, looking for something to take my mind off the disaster that my life had become. 

I stopped on a national news network, feeling confident that the nation’s political state was far more important than our little story. 

After ten minutes, and following a story about the war, the newscaster shifted gears and spoke with a smile.  “Coming up after the break, is the heartwarming video of a man proposing to his girlfriend at SuperMart.”

We both sat motionless staring at the television.  After what felt like forever, the story finally came on.  I watched as the video of our fake proposal played on the national news.  When the video was over, the newscaster said with a smile, “What a cute couple!  I hope it all works out for them!”

I looked over at Josh and turned the television off.

“I’ve been thinking,” Josh looked at me and flashed a mischievous smile.  

4.

“You’re on in three minutes.” The producer gave us a thumbs-up sign and walked away.  Josh returned thumbs-up and smiled.

“I think I’m going to be sick,” I moaned and closed my eyes.

“Relax and enjoy this.  I’ve got the whole thing planned out.  All you have to do is smile and look pretty.”  He rubbed my back gently. 

Josh had spent the whole weekend running through the plan with me.  He was charismatic enough to pull it off, and I could just pretend to be nervous about the cameras.  It all sounded easy when we were sitting in our apartment, but as soon as we’d stepped foot on the plane my nerves had kicked in.  I was really starting to doubt whether or not I could even pull of smiling and looking pretty.

“I know the plan, Josh.  I’m just worried about afterwards.  We still have to go home and face our families, friends, and coworkers.”  I started rocking back and forth with nervousness.  My stomach was churning and I’d already sweated off three make-up applications.  The girl who’d done my make-up gave me a stern look as I looked nervously around the studio.

“We talked about this, Trip.  We’ll pretend to be engaged for a month or so and then tell everyone we called it off, but we’re going to remain friends.”  Josh pulled me in for a hug.

“I’m just worried, that’s all.” I said into his shoulder.  Josh had a way with me.  He was the only person who could make me feel better with just a hug, smile, or comforting word. 

I felt a little better, but was still nervous. 

“Just trust me Trip.  I’ll take care of you.”  He rubbed my back some more.  “You do look pretty today, you know.”

He smiled sweetly at me and I felt a little of the nervousness disappear.

“Thanks.”

“Okay, you two, let’s head towards the studio.”  The producer was back and pulling us towards the cameras.

We were seated on a couch in another part of the studio from where the other segments had been filmed.  My heart was pounding and I could feel sweat beading on my forehead again.  Josh was cool as a cucumber, but rubbing my hand reassuringly.