Oblivion (The Watcher Chronicles #3) (20 page)

“I would like that too, Jess.”

I ask Mason to take me home so I can contact my father.  Mason goes to headquarters to help Joshua locate Faust’s exact location for us.

When I call to my dad, he instantly phases in to my living room.

“What’s up, Buttercup?” My dad says, coming to sit with me on the couch.

“So I did it,” I tell him.  “I asked Mason to marry me last night.”

“And he said yes of course,” my dad says full of confidence.

“Of course he did,” I say like I hadn’t been worried about the outcome at all.  “He’d be crazy not to right?”

“Right,” my dad agrees, smiling.  “Have you set a date yet?”

“No, we haven’t had a chance to talk about it, but I’m not one to procrastinate about the important stuff.  I’m thinking the sooner the better.”

“And you’re going to have a wedding I can actually give you away at?”

“Yes,” I tell him, having already decided not to deny him something he seems so determined to experience.  “I’ll let you know when and where.  In fact, I think I might ask my grandfather if we can do it at his house.”

“Have you had much time to spend with your grandfather?”

“No,” I say, instantly feeling guilty.  “In fact, I need to call him today.  I’ve just been so busy with things I haven’t had much free time to spend with him, which brings me to another thing I wanted to discuss with you.  Have you seen God?  Do you know if he plans to let Remy come see Leah any time soon?  She asked me about him yesterday.  She really wants to see him.”

“About that…” my dad says hesitantly.

“I swear if He said Remy can’t come back He and I are going to have fighting words,” I say, feeling my temper begin to flare.

“No, no,” my dad is quick to say, “he just told me that you would have to make the request in person.”

“In person?”

“You’ll need to pray to him,” my dad says.  “And he’ll come speak with you about it face to face.  Apparently, he has something else he would like to talk to you about.  He wouldn’t tell me what it is only that it was a favor.”

“He wants to ask me for a favor?” I ask.  “I didn’t know God asked for favors.  Doesn’t he usually just tell people what to do instead of asking?”

“I feel sure he knows that wouldn’t work with you,” my dad says, an amused smirk on his face.

“Well, I can’t say you’re not right about that.  I’m not much for being told what to do.  When does he want to meet with me?”

“Whenever you’re ready to see him again and talk.”

After my dad leaves, I decide there’s no time like the present.  Plus, I needed to get God to let Leah see Remy again.  She deserved a little peace of mind.

I still wasn’t much on praying but it didn’t seem like you needed to be eloquent about it to have him answer you.

God, Jess here.  Heard you wanted to ask me for a favor.  Come on over when you can.

“Hello, Jess.”

I open my eyes and see God standing in front of me.

“Does everyone get their prayers answered this quickly?” I ask.

“You are a special case,” God says, grinning down at me.  “I feel as though I should take advantage of the times you want to speak with me.  They are so few and far between.”

“Yeah, been a little busy.”

“So I’ve noticed.”

I swallow hard.  “Just how much of what we do down here do you see?”

God smiles.  “Everything.”

I feel myself begin to blush profusely.  “Could you close your eyes the next time I’m with Mason?  Otherwise, I’m going to be a paranoid mess.”

God chuckles.  Well, at least he has a sense of humor.

“I will try,” He promises.  “Now, what favor did you want to ask me for?”

“Let Leah call on Remy when she needs to.  You know how much she’s been through.  She needs her dad just like I do.”

“I will grant what you ask, if you in turn do me the same courtesy.”

And here it comes….

“What kind of favor can I do for God?” I ask.

God lifts his right hand in the air and a silver crown much like the archangel crown I have appears in his grasp.  The only difference is that this crown looks tarnished, not shiny silver like the one I have in my possession.  There are minute cracks along its surface like it was shattered once but now pieced back together.

“What is that?” I ask.

“Lucifer’s crown.”

“And what do you want me to do with it?”

“I want you to offer it back to him.”

“Why?”

“I want my son back.  I want to give him a chance to redeem himself.”

“Then why don’t
you
give it back to him?” I ask.  “Why do you want me to give it to him?”

“You can’t give it to him.  You can only offer it to him.  I want you to do it because he feels a kinship with you.  You are the closest thing he has to a friend.”

“But that’s just because of Michael’s presence.”

“No.  It’s not.”

“What else could it be?”

“Lucifer is drawn to you, Jess. Michael’s presence is what made him come to you at first, but now he enjoys being with you, Jess the human not Jess the vessel.”

“But I still don’t understand why you don’t give it to him yourself.”

“I feel sure he wouldn’t take it from me directly.  He’s far too prideful.  He would feel like he was admitting that he has been in the wrong all these years.” 

“Well he has, hasn’t he?”

“For the most part, but I need him to know there isn’t anything I couldn’t forgive him for if he would only ask me to.”

God hands me the crown.  I debate on whether or not to take it.

“You
do
realize if I offer this to him, it might set him off.  I have a feeling he’ll go ballistic.”

“Are you refusing?”

I take a deep breath and let it out.  I take hold of the crown and God lets it go, giving me complete control over it.

“So what do you want me to say to him exactly?” I ask, not sure how I should broach the subject with Lucifer without him going completely psychotic.

“Tell him that if he takes the crown, all will be forgiven.”

“And if he doesn’t take the crown?”

“Then I will know he isn’t ready for forgiveness yet and take it back until another opportunity presents itself.”

“But if he does take it, does that mean all the evil in the world will disappear?”

God smiles indulgently at me.  “Lucifer is not responsible for evil.”

“I thought he was,” I say hesitantly.  “You know people say the devil makes them do stuff all the time.”

At least that’s what Pastor Cary always preached in his sermons.  According to him, the devil was to blame for leading us poor humans astray from God’s righteous path for our lives.

“Evil is present in everyone.  It can be fostered by the actions a person commits or through their thoughts.  Lucifer can gain power over someone through their evil deeds but he doesn’t have the power to make them perform evil acts.  The choice between being good or bad is always left up to the individual.  Everyone makes their own decisions, Jess.”

“You should really tell that to some Southern Baptist preachers I know,” I say, being completely serious.

“People are smart enough to decide things for themselves.  Look at you.  You didn’t even believe I existed until you had proof.”

“Can I ask you something else?”

“Yes.  You can ask me anything.”

“Did you kill John Austin to make sure I went through the Tear?”

“No, I did not cause his death.”

“Could you have stopped it from happening?”

“Would you have stopped if from happening knowing what you do now?”

It wasn’t a question I was prepared to be met with.  He deftly turned the tables back on me to make me consider the effects of saving John Austin’s life.  If John Austin had survived the wreck, Faison would have never gone through the Tear, just like she said.  We would have never found Leah any other way.  One life in exchange for a chance to save billions.  What would I have done if I had been able to control the outcome?

“Sometimes a person’s destiny can’t be changed without having dire consequences,” God tells me.  “People often ask for miracles because that’s what they want but bad things have to occur sometimes for good things to happen.”

I look down at Lucifer’s crown in my hand.  “Why does it look this way?”

“After Lucifer’s fall, the crown cracked and he forged rings from it for his princes.  It was his way of being able to call them to his side whenever he needed them.  After he made the Tear, I took the rings from the princes.  I knew he would find a way to bring them back to him after I scattered them to the far reaches of the universe, but I also knew it would take him time to do it, enough time for a little seven year old girl to grow up into a strong woman, someone who could face Lucifer on her own terms and not bat an eye while doing it.”

“Thank you, by the way.”

God cocks his head at me.  “For what?”

“For letting Mason go to that alternate Earth with me.  He was finally able to let go of some of his guilt.”

“That was my hope.”

God looks down at the floor in front of him and I get the distinct feeling he wants to say something to me but isn’t sure how to put it.

“I’m aware you’ve been searching for your mother,” He finally says.

I remain quiet and just stare at him.

Finally I find my voice and ask, “Do you know where she is?”

“Yes.”

I stay silent waiting for Him to say more but He doesn’t.

“Are you going to tell me where she is?”

“I can do better than that,” He tells me.  “I can bring her to you if you’re ready to see her again.”

I stand up.  “I’m ready.”

“Then you need to lie down on the couch, Jess.”

I feel my forehead furrow in confusion.

“Why?” I ask, thinking this an odd request.

“Because I need to put you to sleep before you can see her.  Trust me.”

I sit back down on the couch and lay out flat on it, trusting God knows what He’s doing.

God comes over to me and lays His hand on my forehead.  I instantly fall to sleep.

I find myself standing in my mother’s garden behind our old home.  Michael is standing beside me and I see the back of a blonde haired woman sitting in the white gazebo.

I turn to Michael.  “I don’t understand.  Why are we inside my mind?”

I look at the woman in the gazebo and know it has to be my mother. 

Michael sighs.  “Go talk to her, Jess.  She’s waited a long time to see you again.”

I feel my eyes water with warm tears as realization sets in.

“She’s dead isn’t she,” I say, not really asking but needing to say it out loud for my own benefit.  “That’s why she’s here like this.”

Michael puts one of his hands on my back.  It’s the first time since we connected that we’ve had physical contact.  His touch is warm and comforting.

“Let her tell you her story,” he gently urges.

I walk over to the gazebo and see my mother stand from the bench she was sitting on.  She looks just like I remember her.  She’s wearing a nude colored summer dress with black lace appliqués on the front.  Her long blonde hair flows freely down her back in soft curls and her bright blue eyes light up when she sees me walk into the gazebo.

I stand at the entrance not sure what to do, not sure what to say.

She folds her hands in front of her, twisting them nervously.  An anxious smile plays at the corners of her lips.

“Hi, Jessi,” she says, taking a tentative step towards me.

My vision blurs and I hold a hand to my mouth to prevent a sob.

My mom walks over to me and takes me in her arms.  Arms I haven’t felt in fifteen long years.  I hold her tightly to me and let myself cry on her shoulder.  She rubs my back telling me everything will be all right.  It brings back memories of her doing the same thing when I was a child, soothing the hurt from a scrapped knee or comforting me after a nightmare.  This is the mother I remember.  This is the mother I’ve been searching for.

I let myself enjoy feeling her love for me, but finally lift my head from her shoulders and ask, “What happened to you?”

My mother cups my face with both her hands and wipes the tears from my cheeks with her thumbs.

“Come sit with me,” she says.

We sit down side by side on one of the benches, holding hands.

“I’m not sure where to begin,” my mom says, shaking her head at a loss for words.  “I want you to know leaving you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.  But it was the right thing to do.”

“Why?” I ask, the seven year old girl in me needing to know why her mother chose to abandon her.

“I was so screwed up, Jessi,” she says.  “I tried to hide it from you when you were growing up but I knew if I stayed I would just end up ruining your life.”

“How can you say that?  You’re my mom.  I needed you.”

My mom shakes her head.  “No, I wasn’t someone you needed in your life.  That’s why I chose Mama Lynn to be your mother.  I knew she was someone who could raise you the way you needed to be raised.”

“I still don’t understand.  Why couldn’t you do it?”

“I just wasn’t strong enough.  I was still an addict, Jessi.  I never stopped.  I knew if I stayed with you I would end up hurting you in some way.”

“How did you die?”

“Overdosed on some meth at a drug dealer’s house.  They probably buried me in some unmarked grave somewhere.  I doubt the police were ever notified.”

That had to be why Joshua and Nick couldn’t find any trace of her.

“So you chose drugs over me?” I ask.

“It’s not that black and white, Jessi.  Addictions are hard to break.  Unless you’ve ever gone through it, you just can’t understand what it does to you physically and mentally.  It’s like having a constant itch you can’t scratch and when you do scratch it, it’s never enough to take the itch away completely.  I wasn’t strong enough to fight it.  And I knew if I stayed with you, I would make your life a living hell.  You deserved better.  You deserved to have the love of a good mother who would raise you to be a strong woman.  And that’s what Mama Lynn did.  She helped shape you into someone who is able to stand in front of Lucifer and not back down from him even when he’s angry.  I never could have made you into that woman.”