Ocean Beach (40 page)

“I mean everybody knows you’ve got a body under there,” Maddie concluded. “You’re doing yourself a disservice.”

Avery’s vision blurred with tears as she absorbed this attack from the last place she’d ever expected one. She might have cried right there except for the horrified look spreading over Maddie’s face. And the unexpected movement she caught out of the corner of her eye, movement that turned out to be Troy moving in for a closer shot.

Now even Maddie fell silent as everyone looked at one another and then at the camera.

Crap!
Avery’s mouth opened again in horror as she realized that she had set into motion the very thing she’d reassured Kyra they could avoid. She’d allowed her hurt and anger to get the better of her, and as a result they’d handed the Lifetime crew exactly what they’d been waiting for: a great big boatload of backbiting and discord.

Reeling in shock, they retreated to their separate corners as much as people living in a fishbowl with a whole lot of other fish can. Avery jumped into the Mini Cooper and drove off. With no destination in mind, she ended up on Collins Avenue heading north. For a while she simply drove and breathed, her only objective to get as far away as possible.

The hotels of South Beach had given way to high-rise condo buildings and then sprawling waterfront estates when she picked up her cell phone and called Chase. She continued to breathe in and exhale the salt-tinged air as she waited for him to pick up.

“Hey,” he said just when she was afraid she was going to be routed to voice mail. “What’s going on?”

Avery spilled it all, replaying every last word and look, spewing out her hurt and her sense of betrayal.

“I just don’t understand how Maddie could take Deirdre’s side,” she said for what might have been the third or fourth time. “And all of it happened on camera.”

“Something must be going on,” Chase said reasonably. “Maddie is a good friend of yours. And maybe she just put things in the wrong way.”

“Humph.” She wasn’t sure where she was at the moment, but she figured she couldn’t get completely lost as long as
she kept heading north. “She said that Deirdre had been taking mothering lessons from her.”

“Really?”

“That’s what she said.”

“So Deirdre’s trying,” Chase said. “That’s a good thing, right?”

Another “humph.” No one was going to accuse her of being overly articulate tonight.

“She ran out on us. She ran out on
me
.”

“I know,” he said soothingly. “But she’s back. And she doesn’t seem to be going anywhere.”

“That’s what Maddie said.”

“Maybe it’s time to give her a chance,” Chase said gently.

“Maddie said that too.”

He hesitated, but there was no judgment in the silence or in his voice when he finally spoke. “It may be time to let go of the anger, Avery,” he said.

“But I can’t,” she said automatically. And then, “How do you even do that?”

“You just do,” Chase said. “It’s a choice you make.” He paused. “It’s like when Dawn died. I was so angry with her for leaving us. And so scared. I had no idea how I was going to raise the boys without her.” She heard him swallow, could picture him running a hand through his dark hair. “I couldn’t imagine that we could have a life, just the three of us. I held on to the anger and fear for a long time. But at some point you have to just let go of it and move on. It’s damaging to you and everyone around you.”

Avery continued to drive, the wind whipping her hair. As annoying as Chase Hardin could be, right now the sound of his voice in her ear was as comforting as NASA control
must have been to the Apollo 13 astronauts, stranded in space with a crippled spacecraft.

“I don’t know if I can do that,” she said.

“You can,” Chase said. “If you want to. I know you can.”

He fell silent and she drove for another mile just listening to the reassuring rhythm of his breathing. She made a U-turn and headed south.

“Where are you, Van?” he asked as the neon lights of South Beach came into view.

“I’m on my way back,” she said. “But I’m not sure how I’m going to handle the thing with Maddie.”

“It’ll work itself out,” he said. “But it sounds like maybe you need to find out what’s going on with her first.”

“Thanks,” she said as she pulled the Mini Cooper into the drive.

“Anytime, Van,” he said softly. “I know you’ll do the right thing. Sleep tight and hang in there. I’ll see you soon.”

Minutes later Avery raised the convertible top and sat staring at the dark house in front of her, trying to process all that had happened, replaying Chase’s words of advice. She appreciated his confidence in her, but it was hard to do the right thing when you had no idea what that thing was.

She walked past the silent house and around the pool still trying to come to terms with what she should do. Troy and Anthony were in the pool-house living room playing a video game while Andrew snored softly on the couch. She passed them without comment.

In the bedroom, Deirdre and Nicole appeared to be asleep. Careful not to wake them, Avery washed her face and brushed her teeth, staring at herself in the mirror as she played back Maddie’s comments. This time, rather than
the hurtful words, she focused on the total “un-Maddie-ness” of what had been said.

It was only then that she knew what she had to do. Pulling on her pajamas, Avery crawled into bed, plugged in her phone, and set her alarm for O-dark-thirty.

It was still dark when the bedroom door creaked open and a hand grasped Maddie’s shoulder and shook it none too gently.

“What?” She sat up, eyes wide open.

“Get up.” It was Avery, which made no sense at all. Avery was anti-morning and relied on heavy doses of caffeine to get herself going each day.

“We’ve got about thirty minutes until sunrise. And we’re going to the beach to watch it. But be quiet. I don’t want to wake Troy and Anthony.”

“Look, I’m sorry about yesterday,” Maddie began, disoriented but eager to apologize. She’d lain awake a good part of the night kicking herself for the things she’d said and the way she’d said them. “I didn’t hear you come in last night or I would have apologized then.”

“Not now.” Avery shushed her. “Nicole and Deirdre are getting dressed. Can you get Kyra and Dustin organized? We’ll pick up coffee on the way.”

Ten minutes later they tiptoed out of the pool house and across the dew-draped lawn like thieves in the night. The air was already heavy with humidity and the morning breeze was warm and salty. There was little traffic and even less conversation as they walked over to Ocean, Kyra pushing a sleepy-eyed Dustin in the jogging stroller.

At an open café they stopped at the counter for
café con leche
—Avery bought two—then carried them out to the beach, where they settled on the blankets they’d brought.

They faced the Atlantic and drank their coffees in silence for a few minutes. The jetty and Government Cut were visible to the south. The white sand beach angled northward. A few hearty souls were already out walking, and they’d passed a few joggers, but for the most part they were alone.

Madeline watched as the sky began to lighten and the first glow of morning sun appeared on the horizon. She breathed deeply, drawing the beginning of the new day into her lungs and holding on to it like a talisman. There were so many things unraveling in her life, and all of them seemed beyond her control. How could she help Kyra navigate the mine-strewn waters of her relationship with Daniel Deranian when her own relationship with Steve seemed to be detonating around her? And what would happen to
Do Over
when they’d finished The Millicent? Where would they go and what would they do if Tonja Kay made good on her threat?

She stole a look at Dustin, asleep in his stroller. Beside him, Kyra leaned back on her hands, arms straight, long legs crossed in the sand. She too stared out at the ocean. The jiggle of her bare feet belied the placid expression on her face.

“So,” Avery said when she’d finished the first coffee and planted the empty cup into the sand. “You may be wondering why I called this meeting. Especially since this isn’t my favorite part of the day.”

“No kidding.” Nicole pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. “I don’t remember the last time I saw you awake before the sun. Thank God that café was open.”

“I’m glad we’re here,” Maddie said, relieved to have a chance to unburden herself. “I want to apologize for my behavior yesterday. I had no right to give Avery all that unasked-for advice in public. And I definitely shouldn’t have done it in front of Troy and Anthony.”

“No,” Avery said. “I called this meeting, I hauled your asses out of bed, and I get to apologize first.” She took a long drag on her second coffee. Madeline wouldn’t have been surprised to hear the caffeine zinging through Avery’s veins.

“So first I want to apologize to Deirdre for being so stingy with my praise.” Avery turned to face her mother. “The kitchen looks great. Everything you’ve done in the house has been first rate. Given our…history, sometimes I have a hard time acknowledging your achievements.”

Avery nodded curtly to signal that the apology was over. Clearly she wasn’t planning to throw herself into Deirdre’s arms and tell her that she loved her.

Deirdre looked more than satisfied with the apology. Who knew, perhaps there was a place for motherhood tutoring after all. The way things were going, maybe Maddie herself needed to take a refresher course.

“I also want to apologize to everyone for starting all that in front of Troy and Anthony,” Avery continued. “I hate
that they got us arguing on video. I know how easy it is to twist things around and make it look like we’re at each other’s throats all the time.”

She took another sip and the second cup joined the first in its sand cup holder.

“That wasn’t your fault,” Maddie said. “I was really out of line. I know you felt attacked, which was so not my intent. I mean, I did want you to think a little bit more about Deirdre’s efforts to establish a relationship, but I shouldn’t have put you on the spot like that in front of everyone. And especially not in front of the film crew.” She could feel herself blathering on now, twisting her coffee cup in her hands, unable to stop. She ended the apology in a rush and fell silent.

“Great,” Avery said. “Now that the apologies are over, maybe you can tell us what’s going on.” She was looking directly at Maddie, as were Nicole and Deirdre. Kyra was still looking out over the ocean and jiggling her feet.

The sun inched upward. Its glow reflected off the water and bounced back to singe the sky.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Maddie replied, not quite meeting their eyes.

Dustin woke and reached for his bare toes. His gaze was pinned on the emerging ball of sun.

“We’re not buying it,” Avery said. “If ever anyone was not acting like herself, it’s you, Maddie. Give it up.”

“No, really,” Maddie began. She was not remotely ready for this conversation. “Everything’s…”

“Oh, Mom,” Kyra said, unable to bear watching her mother continue to try to protect her. “Everything’s not fine and
there’s no point in trying to keep it from them. It impacts them, too.” She turned the stroller and reached inside to retrieve Dustin. He windmilled his arms and kicked his legs happily as she pulled his sturdy warm body out of the stroller and sat him on the blanket next to her.