October song (4 page)

Long after the horse pulled the bench wagon on its way, the cart a-creakin’ and swayin’ toward a wedding ceremony

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long after the cloud of dust settled a bit — Katie stepped back into her car. She was ready now to attempt the turn in the road. Jah, she would try.

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. . as unto a light that shineth in a dark place, until the day dawn, and the day star arise in your hearts.

— 2 Peter 1:19

They’d spent nearly all day at their middle son’s wedding, eating and talking with their extended family, having themselves a wonderful-gut time over at Gracie’s parents’ farm. Eli and his bride made a nice couple, they did, and Rebecca Lapp was right happy ‘bout the match. Another daughter-in-law to sew and quilt with — cook and can with, too. And from what she knew of Gracie, well, this new addition to the family just might be an up-‘n’-coming storyteller in the hollow.

As for Eli’s marriage, movin’ out of the house meant that son Benjamin, who would someday inherit the family farm, was the only one left to help shoulder the farming chores along with Samuel. And by the look of things the pairing up of

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young couples that had gone on at Eli and Gracie’s wedding dinner well, Rebecca could only hope that Ben had found himself matched up with a nice girl for the day. Surely one of their own Plain girls would catch his eye, even though he’d suffered heartache after being’ ditched by his longtime girlfriend last year. Rebecca had been cautious, hadn’t questioned Ben ‘bout the rumors flying round about a fancy English girl. If any of the tongue-waggin’ was even true.

But Eli’s wedding and poor jilted Benjamin weren’t the only things on Rebecca’s mind. Her thoughts were just a-churnin’ as she stepped out of the carriage and made her way into the house while her husband unhitched O1’ Molasses and led the driving horse off to the barn. She thought hard ‘bout the invitation that had

come in the mail a while back from their shunned daughter, Katie, of all

things.

Seemed Katie and her Mennonite husband, Daniel Fisher, wanted to extend the hand of fellowship ‘cross forbidden lines, inviting Samuel and her to dinner.Call anytime,Katie had written at the bottom of the note.

Rebeccahadused a public pay phone

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now and then to make contact with her girl. Hadn’t felt all too guilty ‘bout doin’ so, what with Bishop Beiler easing up some on one of the harshest shunnings in these parts. ‘Course, she always used her time on the telephone wisely, mindful to nudge her daughter toward repentance and a quick return to her baptismal vow. Once or twice a month she talked to Katie. No more. Not like it oughta be with your one and only daughter, her being’ raised in an Old Order household and all. These years of Katie’s young adulthood oughta be spent enioyin’ frequent quiltings and work frolics. Together with her mamma, talking face-to-face. But then, Rebecca believed her adopted daughter had been cut out of a different dye lot of life’s fabric. Sure seemed so anyway.

By the time Samuel came wanderin’ into the kitchen, after hanging up his coat and dropping his for-gut shoes in the utility room, Rebecca had already set the table and put out a light supper of chicken salad and honey oatmeal bread for sandwiches, and white fruit salad.made with unflavored gelatin, cold fruit juice, mayonnaise, whipping cream, icing sugar, pineapple slices, white cherries, and chopped nuts. She

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wanted to bring up Katie’s invitation in the worst way, but she was sure Samuel wouldn’t budge one little inch ‘bout putting his feet under the table of a shunned — and Mennonite — son-in-law.

“Glad for an early supper,” Samuel said, pulling out a chair to sit down. “Cows need milkin’ soon.”

Her husband’s comment left things wide open for her to say something ‘bout Benjamin, though she was fairly certain their youngest son wouldn’t be home just now — nor anytime soon — on account of the late-night singing planned at the Stoltzfus home, expected after most every Amish wedding. “Did you get someone to help you in the barn, then?” she asked, steering clear of Benjamin for now.

“Jah, Bishop John’s on his way over.”

“Ourbishop?” This was a surprise, in deed.

“Said he wouldn’t mind helpin’ out an old man.”

She shook her head, sitting across from her husband now that their family had shrunk to almost nothing, ‘specially those living at home anyways. “You ain’t feeling so well today?” she asked, disregarding her husband’s comment ‘bout Bishop John’s tactless remark.

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“Ach, well enough.” And with that, he bowed his head and silently prayed over the meal, and Rebecca joined him in doing

SO.

When the “amen” was said, she passed the chicken salad and bread to Samuel. “What made you think to ask the bishop for help with milkin’?”

He snorted gently. ” ‘Twas John’s idea. Good of him, I should say.”

Samuel wasn’t one to mince words. The fact that John Beiler still held either of them in any regard was downright astonishing, as she thought on it. They’d purposely hid the truth of Katie’s adoption from the People all those years, deceivin’ nigh everyone in the hollow … before the Bann came on Katie, that is. Hardest thing Rebecca had ever endured.

She didn’t mention it just now, but she guessed the bishop had something on his mind. Prob’ly why he was coming over ‘fore too long. So, since her husband was thinking on the bishop’s arrival, she decided against bringing up Katie’s invitation. Somehow, it didn’t seem quite right, seem’ as how their daughter had refused to marry the widower-bishop one bright November day nearly two years ago now.

They ate in silence for the longest time.

54Then, clear out of the blue, Samuel looked up from his plate. “Saw Katie today.” His

words seemed to hang in the air.

“You did?”

He nodded, his beard touching his chest. “On the road, early this mornin’.”

“Whatever was she doin’ over in these parts on her brother’s wedding day?”

Eyes serious, Samuel stared at his plate as if deep in thought.

“She wasn’t on her wayhere,was she?” she pressed.

When he finally looked up, his jaw was clenched. “Seemed a bit lost, to tell you the truth.”

“Well, how could that be?” Rebecca wondered what in the world Samuel was tryin’ to say. Katie knew her way round Hickory Hollow, and she was a modern, car-driving Mennonite woman, too.

Scratching his head, he shifted in his chair. “Spoke to my daughter., first time since her shunning.”

Rebecca daresn’t allow a smile to shine on her face. No, that might spoil things. Besides, Samuel was nodding now, appearin’ to be slightly pleased with him self. Maybe that he’d even told her. Then he reached for another piece of bread and nothing more was said of the encounter,

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though Rebecca wondered what had prompted him to share such news.

If nothin’ else, this was a beginning. A new start, maybe. Yet she wouldn’t get her hopes up too high. She’d wait a day or two and bring up the dinner invitation. See what Samuel made of it.

Rebecca couldn’t seem to budge from her spot at the back door, lookin’ out toward the barn. Curious as she was, she wouldn’t think of going out there and interrupting whatever the two men were discussing just now. Surely Samuel wasn’t telling the bishop ‘bout his seem’ Katie on the road today. No, she couldn’t imaginethatwas being talked over. More than likely, John was talking blacksmithing duties and whatnot. Jah, that’s prob’ly all. Though, she’d heard tell from the bishop’s mother-in-law, Rachel Stoltzfus, that Mary had been feelin’gnipplich —sickly. “Under the weather,” word had it. Rebecca wondered if Mary’s marrying into a readymade family, five youngsters and all, might not be taking its toll on the young woman.

She should’ve gone right over to visit Mary when she’d first heard of a problem. After all, Mary had been underfoot most all of Katie’s growing-up years. Rebecca

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scarcely could recall a time when she and Katie were bakin’ cookies or sweetbread that Mary Stoltzfus wasn’t right here in this kitchen, helping right along.

Thinking on it, she remembered just how busy things had been this past week, what with the food preparations for Eli’s wedding falling squarely on her shoulders.Hurting folk often get lost in the shuffle come wedding season,she thought. Sad to say, but it was true.

So.. she would make it a point to pay Mary a visit tomorrow.

“Bishop John’s concerned ‘bout his wife,” Samuel said, coming in from the barn.

“How’s that?” she asked.

“Seems Mary’s pining for . our

Katie.”

The girls had loved each other as sisters, sharing their childhood years so much that the People often thought of them as two peas in a pod, really. Why, they walked to school together every day, worked in each other’s “charity” gardens, helped their mammas with chores, sewed for-gut dresses here, even baby-sat for neighbors together.

Samuel went on. “John asked if you

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might go see her.”

I’ll drop everything tomorrow and go.” He went and sat in the hickory rocker in the corner of the kitchen. “Wouldn’t be such a gut idea to invite Katie along, I’m thinking.” A warning, true, but quite an unnecessary one, for she’d never thought of such a thing.

The whole Mary-‘n’-Katie dilemma was a knotty problem. Both for Rebecca and her husband. “Such a sad and sorrowful thing when the shun is upheld at all costs.” She surprised herself by blurting out the words, never much thinking how Samuel might take their meaning.

” ‘Wis always much harder to turn one’s back on ‘thus saith the Lord’ than on ‘thus saith the church,’ ” came Samuel’s sympathetic reply.

Rebecca wondered if his view on the shunning was weakening some. But she wouldn’t presume to ask.

He rocked silently for a time. Then, slowly, he said, “I clearly see the purpose for social avoidance in the Scriptures, don’t misunderstand. Sometimes,Ijust don’t know if we oughta impose the Bann on folk who are wholly followin’ the Lord — that is, if they prove themselves as being built up in the faith in their new church.”

58Well, now, she’d never heard Samuel talkthisway. Thinking on his comment, she fell silent.

Rebecca waited till the bishop’s children had gone to school the next day before set ting off toward the peaceful spread of land. She was glad for a morning all to herself. This way she could reflect on her and Samuel’s further discussion last evening. Seemed all he wanted to talk ‘bout was Katie and the peculiar situation they, as a family, found themselves in. At first she’d thought him a bit peeved at her, but he had been tryin’ his best to be understood. For the first time in many months, he’d opened up his heart to her. In the end, after a gut long time of it, they’d come to grips with the shunning quandary, its divi sive overtones. And since they were deep in such talk, she’d stuck her neck out and shared with Samuel the invitation that had come in the mail from Daniel and Katie.

Samuel had visibly bristled, but as they talked, he seemed slightly open to having Katie, at least, come over totheirhouse for a short visit. But not the other way round. “And not for a meal, mind you.” He’d added quickly, ” ‘With such an one no not to eat,’ according to First Corinthians.”

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Shunning a former church member daughter or no — had a way of disrupting close-knit families. Couldn’t help but. As for the years stretching out ahead, Rebecca could only think that Samuel’s dairy-farming days were coming to an end and prob’ly here perry quick. If Beniamindidmarry come next year, they had just twelve months or so to work through all the aspects of their youngest son takin’ over the farm and their moving into the vacant Dawdi Haus connected to their rambling farmhouse. Goodness knows, forty-five acres was a lot of land for one man and his son to keep up Old Order style, including draft mules, driving horses, and dairy cattle.

‘Course,shewouldn’t mind slowin’ down some. She just might be ready to give up their side of the big house soon, let Beniamin and his young wife and a

growing family take over the reins of

farming life.

She thought of assuming the quiet yet strong matriarchal role of the Lapp family. Her own mother had blessed her and Samuel’s days, and their children’s, by living in the addition with Rebecca’s ailing father for a gut many years. Maybe ‘twouldn’t be so bad moving over there, after all.

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Yet she sensed what was causin’ her to suffer so. Had nothing to do with growing older or retiring from farm chores, really. Had much more to do with the loss of her daughter, not knowing what the future held. And Clan, too, who was a big part of Katie’s life now. Whatzvouldbecome of her and Katie’s close relationship? What would happen when Katie’s little ones started coming along, Rebecca being their grandmammi and not spending much time with them? What then?

Lamenting such things, she knew full well how dear Mary must be feeling these days, living her life cut off from Katie, recallin’ all the fond memories, the happy days sensing Katie just round the corner, which truly she was, yet having no contact. No good fellowship with a lifelong best friend. My, oh my, how could it be?

Rebecca’s heart was heavy as she walked down Hickory Lane under the spotlight of the sun, amidst a blaze of red sugar maples and sumacs. As she neared Bishop John’s place, marked by three mulberry trees, she hoped she might bring cheer to Mary despite her own dismal outlook.

Rebecca found Mary busy baking orange nut bread when she arrived. The familiar

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tangy aroma filled the kitchen, and she quickly hung her shawl on a peg in the utility room, asking if there was anything she could do to help.

According to Mary the housework seemed to be “all caught up,” and she invited Rebecca to sit down while coffee was poured. “Oh,” Mary said, catching herself. “I guess I oughta ask if you’d rather have some tea?”

“No . no. Coffee’s just fine,” she replied, noticing Mary’s hollow eyes and drawn face.

Once they started talking there was no stopping either of them. Mary wanted to chat ‘bout her life with the bishop. “Most folk don’t have any idea, but there’s such a burden on a minister,” she said solemnly. “And a wife tends to bear it right along with him.”