Oculus (Oculus #1) (6 page)

“What does it matter? They already know I exist. I can get the cure and be back here with it in time to save you. You told me yourself that we plan for the worst and hope for the best.” Anna shook her head.

“It’s not worth the risk.” Standing, I pound my hand on the table making our breakfast hop from the surface of the table.

“Bullshit! The only other option is you turning yourself in. Tell them that you were hit in the head and lost your memory or something. Get the cure and escape later.” Anna tries to laugh and ends up coughing for a bit before she’s able to speak again.

“Oh, that’s rich. ‘Yes, Sir. Sorry, Sir. I bumped my head and ended up out in the Dark Lands. Did I join The Resistance? What a silly question!’ They would give me the cure all right. Then they would quick-march me down to the Neuro Division and pull every last scrap I know out of my head. Everything about The Resistance, you…our plan. Fat chance. I didn’t go through all of this just to give them a win now. At least we can be thankful that your genetic alterations seem to make you immune. Believe me, this is awful.” She tosses her rag out of a gap in the shack. Grabbing another, she covers her mouth until another coughing fit passes.

“Then it is settled.” I reply, and her confused eyes lock with mine. “If you can’t go back then the only option left is for me to go get you the cure. I’ll leave as soon as I can pack a bag.” Rising from the table, I start collecting my gear. A moment later, she follows after me. Pulling me around to face her, she raises a finger in the air, admonishing me to wait while she finishes coughing. Taking a ragged breath, she rasps at me.

“You’ve heard how bad I’ve gotten in the last couple of days. You getting the cure in time to save me isn’t an option.” I open my mouth to protest and her sad smile closes my lips before I can argue. She shakes her head. “Oh, Sic. I know it isn’t fair. But if you stop and think for five seconds you will realize that I’m right.”

She watches me with those damn judgmental green eyes, and I stop to consider her argument. I realize, with a heavy heart, that she is five steps ahead of me as always. It’s at least a day to the nearest compound. Even if I grabbed a vial and ran right back it would be two days round trip. At the rate she’s deteriorating, she won’t last a day. There’s no way for me to take her with me…

I can’t lose her. Not Anna.

Taking me by the hand, she leads me over to sit on what passes as our sofa. Rough wood cobbled together with a few pillows on top of it. Sitting down next to me, she draws me into her, holding me closely against her. She hasn’t held me like this since I was small. I can feel a sob fighting to free itself from my throat but I manage to crush it back down, even if just barely. Sometimes I hate the fact that they didn’t make me more of a monster. Being a killer with human emotions seems like a much crueler fate than simply being a killer. If I had been made just a bit less human then I wouldn’t be burdened by this damn pain. I wouldn’t be torn between listening to reason, and wanting to risk it all to save Anna.

Leaning back, still enclosed in her arms, I look into her eyes. They’re so sad, so tired, that the fight against emotion runs right out of me. In her gaze I see the ugly truth. There is no way to beat this enemy, no way to win this battle; I’ve run out of time. The finality of this realization feels like a cold knife slipping into my gut. It must show on my face, because Anna raises a hand to my cheek.

“Oh, Sic. My stubborn, wonderful, Sic. I don’t want to leave you, either. But death is a part of life, Son. You, better than most, know this. We don’t always choose how we leave this life. All we can do is try to do our best while we’re here.” I drop my eyes and she cups my chin. Raising it, she meets my gaze once more. It reminds me so much of that day in the lab, with Hoppy the rabbit, that my resolve cracks. A warm tear slips down my cheek as I stare into her eyes, memorizing her features. Gently, she wipes the tear away with her thumb.

“I…” the words I’m grappling with seem stuck behind a lump in my throat. For her, I can let myself be weak. At least for a little while, I can give in to the pain and act like a normal human. Before I can let my tears free, Anna gives me another sad smile and nods.

“I know, Boy. I know. But we don’t have much time. Make me a pot of tea. It will make it easier for me to talk. There are things I need to tell you…important things.” I don’t rise right away. Part of me is holding onto this moment. Trying to burn it into my brain. When I stand up and start making tea for a farewell conversation, all this will be real. It is the first step along the path of really losing her. Anna lets me sit with her for a few minutes, and then pulls me close into a hug. After a few more moments she starts coughing. Giving me a nudge towards the kitchen, she raises a cloth to her mouth, stifling her cough behind it.

Once the biggest pot is on the fire, I help her into the kitchen to sit at the table. We talk for hours. First, there are names, meeting spots, pass phrases. How to get new contracts from the Resistance. Where to find The Black Market and who to talk to once I was there. She quizzes me on the locations of our caches around the area. When she has nothing more to impart, she sits, quietly sipping her tea, watching me.

“Do you remember the first job the Resistance gave us?” Anna’s question, after so much silence, startles me a bit. It takes me a minute to wrap my mind around the question.

“The three big-wigs? The ones that Corp security thought were completely secure?” Anna nods.

“Those are the ones. You slipped in and used a different toxin on each of them. All three died of ‘natural causes’ that were so convincing the Resistance thought we were trying to use coincidence to our advantage. They weren’t convinced we’d actually been responsible. Do you remember what I told them at the time?” I smile.

“Before or after the cursing?” Anna lets out a short laugh, followed by a bout of coughing.

“After.” She looks so much worse than when we sat down. It’s like I’m actually watching her fade out of this life right in front of me. Keeping the flourishing grief out of my voice, I focus on responding.

“You told them they were idiots, that any moron can kill people in a spray of bullets. But to be able to make your enemies wonder if their colleague actually just kicked it or if they were murdered, that was a great trick.” Anna smiles as she nods slowly.

“Exactly. You need to remember…your training…you were made to be a subtle instrument and a blunt tool. Subtle will keep you safe. Only be blunt when you have no other choice…” Her coughing worsens enough that I carry her to bed. Laying her beneath the covers, I leave her to grab the blankets from my bed to cover her as well.

Moving keeps my mind off the inevitable, imminent conclusion of her sickness. When I return with my blankets, I have a sickening moment when I think that she has slipped away while I was out of the room. Checking her breathing, I relax as I realize she has simply fallen asleep. Sitting next to the bed on a chair, I try to read a book, but I’m not able to concentrate and the words on the page keep blurring together.

Her mention of my training brings with it all kinds of bad memories. My childhood had been non-existent. Quick-grown from infant to the biological age of sixteen in two years, I was then given gene therapy that returned my aging to normal. Even during those first two years I was subjected to a rigorous training program.

My opponents were grown men, far stronger than I was. They showed me how to fight with my bare hands, then using anything as a weapon. Between the beatings, I was shown how to use more dangerous things. Explosives, toxins, poisons and how to hack simple machines. Anything I would be able to use to kill or to access my target was pushed into my brain. When I mastered something I was given an extra rest period, failures were met with severe punishment. They taught me evasion, camouflage, group tactics; if they could jam the knowledge into me, they did.

By the time I was full grown, the beatings were given by groups of five or more skilled men. Many of the boys I trained with didn’t make the cut. Some died during the physical training, others went insane or attacked their handlers. Disobedience was rewarded with pain, dissent was met with death.

The only good memory I have of that time is of a girl they would bring me to see. My handlers would clean me up, dress me in soft clothes, and take me down the hall to another room. I was told not to tell her about my training, or to do anything violent in her presence. I can’t remember her name. I guess too much time has passed for me to even remember if she ever told me. What I do remember is that we would play fun games together. She was so clean and gentle that I knew we were nothing alike. When she talked, she was always so happy. When she asked about my time away from her, I would look down then change the subject. I sometimes think that my dreams now are just reflections of the time, long ago, that I spent with her. A happy memory that my mind resurrects in a desperate attempt to experience happiness.

On the day that Anna took me out of captivity, I was supposed to go and play with the girl. Instead of them getting me ready to go see her, the adults had all started acting frightened. They began rushing around talking about evacuation, saying something about the facility being in danger of being overrun by terrorists. Two scientists, a cruel chubby man with a strong hand and a thin woman who liked to stick me with needles were with me in the lab. They were getting ready to put me to sleep with something in a syringe when Anna came in behind them.

“Burton, Gail, the security desk sent me down here. They need you both up there right now. I will finish prepping the boy for transport.” The burly man, Burton, turned and sneered at her.

“Since when do you give any orders around here, Anna. Security can piss off. I’ve got my orders from Dr. Walters, and I plan to listen to the man. He is, after all, who signs our checks. Oh, wait. You don’t get paid do you? As an indentured employee?” The snide way he said it made me angry and I saw Anna’s cheeks flush.

“Hey, whatever, Mr. High and Mighty. All I know is that security sent me down here to relieve you. If you don’t care why they want to see you that’s fine by me.” Burton glanced sideways at the thin scientist Gail who shrugged.

“Hey, don’t look at me. I don’t want any issues with security. Let’s split the difference. I’ll stick the boy, put him to sleep, then we leave Anna to finish up.” As she said this she brought the syringe down towards my arm. I remember not wanting to go to sleep. I wanted to go play with the little girl. My face must have shown something because Burton had taken a step towards me, as if to restrain me for Gail. That was when Anna pulled the pistol.

Her first shot hit Gail squarely in the back of the head, dropping her like a stone. Burton had a chance to half-turn before her next shot hit him in the head as well. He went down, bellowing in pain. Stepping forward, Anna tried to finish him off. Burton knocked the gun from her hand with a flailing kick, then pulled her down on the floor with him. Without thinking, I retrieved the gun, checked the action, and then shot Burton once in the forehead. Anna had risen to her feet, covered in blood, and stared at me in shock.

“We should go,” I said. Anna stared at me blankly, her pallid complexion betraying her being in a state of shock. “Anna!” Shaking her head, she held up her hand.

“Wait,” she said. “I have to do a few things first.” She opened the cabinet marked with ‘flammable’ warning signs and threw half the contents to the far side of the room. The rest she set near the door. Pouring a line between the puddles and the full bottles, she grabbed me by the hand and led me into the hallway. Throwing a lighter back into the room, she huddled with me near the wall as the room behind us exploded. Alarms began to wail, sprinklers started to go off, and an automated voice began instructing us on how to evacuate. Anna led me out of that warren of concrete and pain into the world above.

Since our escape, Anna has always been there for me. It was her ingenuity that got us out of the lab and covered our tracks so The Corp would not come looking. She was the one who found The Resistance and negotiated our way inside. Their suspicions of us has always remained, we’re outsiders after all, but since we joined The Resistance we have struck down major offensives without a shot being fired. Anna has a knack for finding key players inside the different Corp offensives and having me eliminate them. She is the brains, I’m the muscle. Now, faced with having to choose these targets myself, I wonder if I’m up to the task.

When Anna wakes up, she’s thirsty and I’m relieved to see it. I give her all the water she wants and we sit silently together. Her cough is bad enough that she has trouble speaking but she smiles at me and squeezes my hand. After she falls asleep, I keep mopping her brow with a cool cloth, hoping that she might still get better. I fall asleep in the chair next to her bed as the light fades from the sky.

I rouse in darkness, at first not sure what has awoken me. Then I realize that it’s the silence. With shaking hands, I light a candle on the table near the bed. Anna lies white and still under the blankets of her bed. Checking the watch lying on her makeshift side table I confirm the time. It’s just past midnight. Touching her brow I find that she’s still warm, but when I check her vitals it becomes clear that she has passed. Her eyes are open, and her head is turned slightly as if she had been looking at me. A small smile is now frozen in death, a parody of the woman who had helped me become more than the freakish genetic monster that I am.

Sitting by her bed, in the flickering light of the candle, I feel a crushing sense of solitude slip over me. The only person that has ever known me has gone and left me alone. That she has done this against her will made no difference to my grief. For a time, I just sit there, lost.