Odd Stuff (34 page)

Her eyes gleamed. I wanted to hit her.

I didn’t have one freaking item for the Christmas fair. I had nothing and somehow this evil woman knew it. Plus, she brought her cronies here with her so that she could gloat with witnesses.

Oh, well
. I opened my mouth, ready to face the music, when the bell dinged on the door again. I looked, willing to stall my humiliation in favor of a timely distraction. In walked Julia, the Wiccan stripper, and her pals Delores and Emma. They all carried large boxes with
fragile
written on them…

In my handwriting. I stared, confused.

“Janie, Emma mentioned that you’d need to have these to the school today, since she had to bring some thing’s she made for the Winter Carnival, too. I remembered that you left these boxes at my house after you let me have first pick of them. That was so sweet of you, by the way, making enough to donate to the HALO project as well as the school.”

“HALO?” Mary looked a bit confused. I was wondering what that was, too.

“HALO…we adopt families in need and give them a Christmas. With the stuff Janie made, we were able to give each a tree, as well as gifts and food. It is going to be one of the best Christmases for the poor in this county ever,” filled in Delores.

I blinked. I had done this, when? I was smart enough to keep my big mouth shut and let them save my butt, though.

Mary was not that easily convinced. She took the box Emma carried and opened it. Beautiful handmade ornaments filled the box. Who knew I was so crafty?

Steam boiled out of Mary’s ears. She glared at me. Her cronies gushed over my contribution.
How beautiful, how creative
, stuff like that.

Mary started to storm off. She was thwarted, and she knew it.

“Wait.” Mia raised one long, elegant finger.

Mary froze and pinned Mia in her glare.

Mia went on, undaunted. “You forgot you were here to haul all this to the school and save Janie a trip. Remember, that was why you came into my establishment?”

Mary glared at her. I think the plastic in her face was going to crack from the tension. “Yes, that was why I stopped. Thanks so much for reminding me, Mia,” she gritted out.

“Just here to help, that’s me.” Mia looked at her nails.

One of Mary’s friends pointed into the display case. “Ohhh, is that real emerald?”

“Yup.” Mia smiled at her.

“Stephanie!” Mary bit the words out with a sharpness that almost hurt the ears.

Stephanie put her hand to her mouth. “I’ll stop back later today.”

Mia nodded and smiled. Emma picked up the box they’d opened, obviously the heaviest and largest, and dropped it into Mary’s arms. A red nail hit the floor and Mary hissed, “I broke a nail.”

“Remember it’s for the kids and I am sure you won’t even care,” I offered.

That earned me a glare. It was less threatening with a hunk of red ribbon bisecting her face. She sneezed. Guess she wasn’t used to incense.

I smiled, serenely. Mary and her friends left, and we all kept our places for a good minute, solid.

Then the witches and I laughed so hard we cried.

When we recovered enough to speak, I asked Julia and the others how they’d known.

“Well, I picked it up from you at the circle,” said Emma. “And I saw your name on the list at school. I figured with everything going on, you didn’t have a shot at making anything, not to mention thirty anythings.”

“So she mentioned it to me.” Delores spun a sprig of lavender in her fingertips. “And I know,” she continued, “that Mary Cartwright is as much of a scheming bitch as her mother and father, before her. So, we got the circle together and made ornaments and some wreaths.”

“Turns out quite a few of the witches are crafty. Most of them don’t celebrate Christmas anymore, so we had a lot of fun making the stuff,” filled in Julia in her breathy, sex-kitten voice.

“And we really did have enough stuff to donate some of it to HALO. Even that wasn’t a lie.” Delores shrugged.

“Just the part where I made all of it.” My heart was warmed by what they had done for me. Emma nodded.

“Watch out for Mary,” warned Julia. “She is going to be going after you with both guns after this little embarrassment. She probably was having a field day on her way here, telling her gal-pals that you weren’t going to have a
thing
ready. And then to find all that…she has got to be enraged.”

“And that a stripper brought it over, and you are hanging out with us and Mia. You are Mary Cartwright’s newest enemy.” Delores waggled a finger at us.

“I always have been. Nothing new there.” I grinned, remembering. “Mia once gave her a huge zit—”

“Middle of her forehead
and
tip of the nose. That is
two
zits,” corrected Mia.

“Which gave you six zits“

“Totally worth it.” Mia waved her hands for emphasis. “Since it was prom night.”

“And from that day on, we went from being too far beneath her to even acknowledge our presence“ I began.

“Even though there was no way to be sure that we had anything to do with her getting zits“ inserted Mia.

“To her challenge in life. From then on, her ultimate goal was our destruction and embarrassment,” I finished.

“We never were the ‘thing’ in school.” Mia wiggled two fingers in air quotation marks.

“We were too weird,” I agreed.

“I know that feeling.” Julia nodded. “If one more guy that I went to school with comes into the club and requests that dumb song, you know the one with the lyrics that say my angel is a centerfold—”

“God, that song is eighties, isn’t it?” I wondered it out loud.

“Yeah, but every guy that I went to school with is just obsessed with it, because I was quiet and bookish in school, and the theory is that because I take off my clothes and dance for money, that I must have undergone some massive transformation and become a raging slut.” Julia’s voice held no little frustration.

I was silent. I mean, I had assumed as much myself. I was no better.

“So, every nerd that had the hots for me in school is now certain that I want to be their slut on the side. I mean, come on. If I wasn’t cool enough to date then because it might have hurt their image, why on earth would I give
them
the time of day now? Even if I was a raging slut?” asked Julia.

“Why
do
you strip?”

“Oh, I am paying my way through school. Architect,” she added.

I nodded.
A Wiccan stripper architect. Why hadn’t I guessed?
 

Emma laughed, and I had a feeling she’d picked up that one.

They left and the store was quiet for a long time.

Pretty soon, Vickie was home and we went upstairs and did her homework. We ate a quiet dinner, and I put her to bed. I wasn’t expecting Vance until later, since he said there was some vampire business to be tied up, and I wasn’t sure what that entailed, but didn’t care much either.

I trotted back downstairs and plopped down next to Mia behind the counter and we giggled our way through the newest Victoria’s Secret catalog. Do you know they have lip gloss for seven bucks? That is just insane.

The bell jangled and in walked Shawna Pierson, the FBI agent who Max had kidnapped the day before. She had phoned me earlier and said she was dropping by, so I wasn’t surprised to see her.

I smiled at her and went to the window seat to talk to her after doing introductions.

She looked around Odd Stuff with the same amusement that I had felt when I moved here. I guess it did look strange, still. Funny what you get used to. Adaptability is important in life. The tree limb that bends in the wind does not break and all. I think there is a country song about that. I believe it is by the Judds.

“So, Max is in a coma. She isn’t in good shape, and they still have her in critical. Are you sure you don’t remember what happened to her? I mean, it could really help the doctors if they knew what they were up against.”

I shook my head, eyes wide in innocence.

Correct me if I am wrong here. I could have said, “Ms. FBI Lady, I sang and sucked her brain of all electrical impulses. She was attempting to suck my soul out of my head at the time. I had to do it or I would have died and she would have gone after my best friend, my boyfriend, and worst, my daughter.” If I had, true, the doctors would have known what they were up against…if she had believed me, which she wouldn’t have and I would have spent the rest of my days in a lovely padded room. Silence was my friend, here. Even me, a big mouth, knew that.

“I figured as much.” Shawna’s brown eyes looked at me, searchingly.

She appeared much better cleaned up than she had tied up. She wore a sedate suit of copper and a khaki overcoat. Her hair hung in the neat cornrows and makeup made her brown skin shine.

She really didn’t look like my mental picture of FBI.

She touched a hand to her head. “Okay, on to bigger and better things. I mentioned that I would keep your name out of the investigation if you helped me out.”

I nodded. This was of interest to me.

“How about I pay you a salary of…how about five hundred a week? That is the standard for consultants working with the bureau.”

My eyes bugged. Okay, being a good guy was going to be lucrative.

“I guess that is okay.” I glanced over at Mia who was fanning herself, eyes wide.

Shawna glanced over and Mia went back to busily stacking fliers for the next psychic fair. “I already have something that I could use your help on. There have been a series of murders here in the Harbor and the story is…well, damned near unbelievable, if you will excuse the vulgarity.”

“I am okay with vulgarity. So what is the story?”

“If you are free tomorrow, we can meet at…say twelve thirty?” She glanced at her cell phone. Bet she had a calendar in there. I never had enough events to calendar them.

Maybe the new Janie would, though.

“Where would you like to meet?” I pulled out my own cell. I punched a few buttons and looked at a picture of Vickie, as if it were my busy schedule.

“I set up a temporary office, kind of a base of operations for my team, in Jefferson in the court house. Meet me at that little diner,” she began.

“Jefferson Diner?”

She smiled, and she had very white teeth. “This town is big on original names, isn’t it? Yeah, that’s the place.”

She stood to leave and then paused, looking back at me. “So what was with the hair? I thought at first that I just hadn’t gotten a good look at you in the storage room, but today I can tell. It changed colors. What happened in the time between when you were tied up with me, and I got untied?”

“If I am going to work with you, let’s get one thing straight right now,” I said, the cold part of me from Chance coming to the fore. “There are some things I cannot explain to you. I won’t pretend otherwise. If I can tell you, I will. If I can’t, you are going to have to trust me, or fire me, because I can’t change that.”

She nodded, looking down. “Fine, lunchtime, tomorrow, diner?”

“I will be there. Oh, I might look different, though. I mean, this is my night look.”

She arched a brow and looked at me doubtfully. “If I had another, any other, way to figure this town out, I would walk out this door and use it. But nothing here makes sense. So, I am going to trust you, even if you are a little weird. Because the other stuff I am running into make you look as wholesome as… cherry pie.”

“Yeah, I get that a lot.” I shrugged.

She nodded, shook her head again, and walked out. I ran to Mia, and we did a happy dance. I had a job. I had a really good paying job!

I bounded up the stairs and danced in the living room. I flicked on every Christmas light I had hung days ago and danced past them, humming.

I plopped on the couch and closed my eyes.

I felt someone breathing on my neck and opened my eyes to see Chance was there. He must have done his teleport trick again because I hadn’t heard any doors open. I glared at him.

“What do you want?” I hissed.

“I thought we already went over that?” He looked devious.

I rolled my eyes. “Aside from the whole soul mate mumbo-jumbo,” I said, humoring him.

“You still going to do that whole FBI, be Wonder Woman, crap?” He did not bother to mask the derision in his tone.

I closed my eyes again. I was safe because of the game.

“Yeah, I am going to use my evil monster side to try to make the world a better place, if that is what you mean. Wonder Woman?” I opened one eye to peer at him.

“Wonder Woman was hot.” He smiled, reminiscently. “There is something about a woman in a girdle.”

I looked at him full on, incredulous.

He shrugged. “Everyone has their tastes.”

“Whatever. Yes, as I said, I am going to do the FBI thing.”

“So, when do you want to start learning self-defense?”

I looked at him. I would swear those glass green eyes were laughing at me, but it was hard to tell. I mean, he always looked merry, even when he was stabbing you in the back.

“I thought about that. I think I am going to go with a reputable self-defense teacher, rather than you.”

“A human one?” He toyed with the string on my hoodie.

“You are touching me!” I smiled, having won. “Go away!”

He sneered. “Your clothes aren’t a body part. And you never said I couldn’t be close. Just that I couldn’t taunt you or touch you. I am just teasing you with my body being so close. I am not actually touching anything. And you brought up the soul mate… I can’t call it mumbo-jumbo.”

“Oh,” I said, defeated.

“By being close, though, I am making you want me to touch you, aren’t I?”

I refused to answer. “Why shouldn’t I go to a human self-defense instructor?” I asked, dodging the topic entirely.

I closed my eyes again and allowed myself to enjoy the smell of Chance like the air before a spring storm. Intoxicating, really. Not that I liked it, but… pleasant.

“You would kick his butt and learn nothing. You are not exactly human, you know.”

I opened my eyes to glare at him again. He was close. His breath moved my eyelashes. He was right. Having him this close drove me to distraction. But if it was bothering me, it had to be bothering him, too. I could take the torture, as long as I knew he was equally disturbed. I curled my lips in a sensual smile, and tilted my head until a lock of silver hair fell over my forehead.