Oden (20 page)

Shaking my head out of my depressing thoughts, I try to get back to the here and now. I have finished doing what I came here to do.

Without any further sightings of Hannah, I shut the front door behind me. I listen to the lock as it clicks and then use my monit to take me back to my spacecraft. It’s dark enough that no one can see me, and I doubt anyone will care right now. Everyone is focused on their own issues.

As I set course back to Oden, my grief presses in on me. I have no one to distract me now and a long flight to think about every mistake I have made.

***

It’s almost a year before Oden begins to look more like how it did. Everyone accepted Ival as leader. I can admit he’s actually been doing a good job, as well.

Roth’s forest was completely destroyed by the fire and many other planets suffered similar fates. The body count is astronomical. Ival has an official count, but he won’t tell me what the count is for the humans. He knows how angry I’ll get.

When I first returned to Oden after dropping Hannah and Logan off, I got angry a lot, especially when I had to admit defeat in the search for Mattie’s remains. They were nowhere to be found, and as much as it killed me to leave her down there, my people needed me.

For many months, we rebuilt houses and cleared out the remains and debris. As our people started to come back to health, our technology got back up and running and more hinemas were built to help with the effort. Ival has also made it a priority to create better and more powerful weapons to be better prepared if we go to war again.

Everyone has helped with the clean up on Oden, from children to the elderly. It helped to restore my faith in my people to see this, too.

The second week into his leadership, Ival mated with the woman who was originally meant to be my mate before the invasion on Earth happened. Within weeks, she was pregnant.

Ival had his first heir two months ago. He’s determined to have a large family so nothing like this can happen again. He wants to show our people we are strong and our planet’s legacy is protected.

For me, seeing Douv pregnant was a personal kind of torture. Not because I care at all about her, or about the fact that we will never be mated together. It just killed me to see that baby growing inside of her. To see Douv have that baby and hold him in her arms felt like a hard punch to my gut by a hinema at full strength.

Mattie never got the chance to let her stomach grow large with our baby. Lack of food and stress kept her looking on the thinner side. Apart from a small bump, you would never have known she was pregnant.

Ival is already acting like our father was to us. He looked over the boy once, decided his name would be Sergii—after our father—and then left. As far as I’m aware, he hasn’t seen him again. Already he and Douv are trying for a second. Furthermore, I’m sure this will continue for as long as her body allows it.

The birth of baby Sergii has been a reason for our people to celebrate and the atmosphere has lightened considerably.

Now that Oden is in a much better position, I spend most of my time in the tunnels. I often sleep in the room Mattie and I shared, holding tightly in my grip my most prized possession. The tablet with Riley still pictured on it.

Whenever I look at him, I lose myself to memories of that day, the fight Mattie and I had, and the injuries she sustained when Jeprow had her. I see her misery and sadness and the moment she gave up once she comprehended what had been taken away from her.

It’s awful to remember these moments, but they’re as clear as day to me. They’re sharp. Every emotion I recall of the day, I relive. Nothing about it has diminished the panic, grief, and anger I felt. I fear it never will.

Sometimes, when I look at Riley’s image, I see a different path. One where Mattie never overheard that conversation, and instead, I got to see happiness and excitement as she told me Riley would be our son. I can see a future where she was never taken by Jeprow, one where we were able to escape and be free of this war and what it took from us.

We could have been a family, and I know we would have been content. We would have created many happy memories together, and perhaps we would have had more children together.

I shake myself away from those thoughts. They bring me peace of mind while I’m ensnared within them, but once reality hits, they feel more tortuous than anything else.

Keeping the tablet on me this time, I leave the tunnels and head back towards Ival’s office.

He’s forbidden me from going down here again, partly because the tunnels are supposed to be used only in an emergency. Before this war, we only came down here so we were aware they existed, that is it. Another reason that I am not supposed to be down here is that, if I’m in the tunnels, then I’m not up on Oden helping. Perhaps the most pressing reason for being ordered not to go back down to the tunnels is because it annoys Ival that I randomly appear in his office. Once, I actually scared him. It was actually quite funny before he screamed at me and charged in attack. He got off a few punches at me, and I know he realised who I was before his fist first connected, but he just kept hitting me to prove a point.

I enter his office, making sure I make enough noise to avoid catching him off guard. When I place the hatch down, he shoves me out of the way and drags his incredibly heavy desk over the spot for the entrance.

“What are you doing?” I gape.

“You won’t be able to go down there if you can’t even get in. Feel free to risk your life going in through the ocean, or if you continue to ignore my orders, going into town for the next available entry point, but
leave my office alone
.”

Anger bubbles up inside of me, yet I don’t snap at him like I want to. Ival appears to be in a bad mood, and I’ve learned steering clear of that is always best.

I turn away; ready to leave, when his voice stops me.

“I have Sewua in the next room waiting for us.”

“Why is he here?”

Sewua is our resident tattoo artist. He is the man who placed most of the tattoos on me and all of the ones on Ival. Is he here to place them on baby Sergii already?

I recall Mattie’s disgust when she found out how young I had been when I was tattooed like this. Is Ival going to take it even further and get Sergii’s done when he is a baby? Surely he knows how wrong that is, right?

“We’re going to write some of our newer history on us. Come,” Ival clears up my apprehension.

I follow him out of his office, nodding in greeting at the two guards waiting outside who peer at me interestedly; most likely because they often see me leaving, but hardly ever witness me entering.

They follow Ival and me until we reach our next destination and stand guard outside that door.

Sewua is a man of few words, although as soon as we enter, he expresses his gratitude towards Ival for all that he has done for our people. I’m instead more interested in the scars his body has. His face has severe burns, his arms have deep gashes and he has a leg missing. What happened to him?

He notices my stare and smiles grimly at me. “Claw got to my leg, then an explosion happened and a burning piece of debris hit me. Killed the creature as well, though, so can’t be too upset. The rest of my scars happened when I crawled out of there and towards freedom. If our leader hadn’t been able to take control when he did, many more would have died, myself included.”

I nod, but anger wells inside me, and not only because of what happened to him—a man I’ve known since I was a child and who has always been kind to me. Anger appears because no one really knows the true story, the one where Mattie saved us all.

“Here is the design,” Ival says, removing his shirt and tapping the side of his neck. We’ve never strayed outside of the chest area before, and there is still room for us to stick to it.

“Of course,” Sewua murmurs to himself, grabbing hold of the needle to mark it out.

The needle runs hot, inking our skin while also slightly burning it. We get the scar for a while before it eventually heals and we have only the ink to show. The process is much quicker and simpler than what happens on Earth. There is no need to go back over any part again. One swipe of the thick needle is all that is needed.

I watch him in action, curious to what Ival has chosen. On the left side of his neck are words. They say
United, Strength, Warriors, Undefeated
, each word written under the other. Then there is the date of when the war ended.

I expect him to move over to me next, but after Ival inspects his neck in a mirror, he leans back and taps an open part of his chest. It is between his breast plates and next to the claw that resides over our hearts.

Sewua begins again, and I watch as he draws a circle, which he then fills in until it is a planet that is every part recognisable to me.

It’s Earth.

A rush of emotions hit me. There is a fear that maybe Ival isn’t done with Earth. Maybe he still plans to take it back, but then Sewua writes a word under it.

Protected
.

“What does that mean?” I ask, my voice actually shaking.

“It means that Earth will never be touched again by our people, and if they should find themselves in trouble, it is our duty to keep them protected.”

My mouth drops open in shock. This is not the Ival I know.

“Why?”

“Because you were right. They sacrificed a lot for us and for a war that was never theirs to begin with. We will honour their sacrifice with our protection.”

I feel a lot of emotions after those words. Shock, gratitude, and relief are the strongest. I’ve hoped Ival felt this way, perhaps even suspected as much, but to hear the words come from his mouth is very gratifying. I think Mattie would even be impressed if she were here to hear it.

“I need to go back to Earth and check on them soon,” I say as Sewua moves to do my neck. I remain silent as he works on me.

“I assumed you would. I was rather surprised you even came back at all. You shocked me by coming back and have honoured our family by staying.”

“If circumstances had been different, you know I wouldn’t have stayed here.”

He winces and disappointment filters across his face. “Yes, I know. I think one day you will go back to Earth and never return.” His voice is unreadable. It’s not full of anger or acceptance.

“Will I be a traitor to you if that happens?”

“Yes.” He stares at me, but I don’t see the animosity behind the word. I think maybe he has accepted that one day it will happen, and nothing he says or demands will stop it.

Sewua moves over to my chest and I lean back to give him better access. While he carefully constructs the new tattoo, I lose my thoughts to Logan and Hannah.

I’ve not heard from them once, as a result I can only assume they must be doing okay. Hannah is stubborn, but if Logan was in trouble, she would swallow her pride to send me a message. She asked for time, and it has been almost a year since I told her I would give her it. Perhaps soon I should check in, even if they don’t see me, and make sure things are going as smoothly as I hope.

“Done,” Sewua says when I notice the tablet sitting in my jacket by the door.

“Actually, can I get you to do one more for me?” I ask, standing up and reaching for the image of Riley.

As I discuss what I want, Ival is already in hushed conversations with a guard by the doorway. I try to catch what is being said since they both appear to be deadly serious, but I can’t hear anything. They continue talking after Sewua is finished.

I stand, prepared for whatever else is needed to be faced. I instantly have the feeling that something is wrong.

“What is happening?” I ask my brother as the guard scurries away.

“He came to give me this. I didn’t know what it was at first, but now I realise this is yours.” He passes me a stone.

I watch it lighting up from the inside, glowing red. I connect immediately that Hannah must have pressed the stone I gave her.

“I have to go,” I say distractedly, my mind already racing ahead with why she has asked for my help. What could be wrong?

“I know.” Ival nods.

“I’ll come back,” I tell him. Even if there is something wrong, once it is fixed, Hannah won’t want me around her or Logan. Without them and Mattie, I have no real reason to stay on Earth.

Ival nods again, but I don’t think he believes me.

Before I can say goodbye to him, a guard enters and they leave in deep conversation. He doesn’t glance back at me, and as he leaves the room, my thoughts shift and stay on Hannah and Logan, fearful that something bad must have happened for Hannah to reach out to me.

I grab my shirt and jacket, placing them both on and gritting my teeth as the material brushes against my new tattoos. I then rush out of the room and down the hallway, heading towards my own personal spaceship.

Entering the docking station, I board my ship and begin to start it up. I turn on the screens and stare at the scene in front of me. My view is of my home—the house I grew up in—and the ocean behind it. It is a view I have stared at often in my years here. It is a sight that should give me peace and security, yet it doesn’t. I have no strong feelings for my house or for Oden. When I lost Mattie and Riley, I also lost my sense of duty and responsibility for this planet.