Of Monsters and Madness (19 page)

A red-faced Mrs. Tusk stands on the stoop outside,
one fist still raised. Her hair has completely escaped the tidy bun she normally wears, but she doesn’t seem to have noticed. A folded sheet of paper is in her hand and she waves it angrily. “Is he home?” she demands, pushing her way in. “Where is he? I must speak with the master of the house right now.”

“Now see here, madam,” Allan says. “You can’t just come barging in like this. You will have to make an appointment.”

Mrs. Tusk thrusts the paper at Allan. “
This
guarantees my appointment.”

He takes the paper and scans it. “This is no invitation, madam. This is a dismissal. I believe the intent is clear—you will have to leave.”

“I will
not
leave!” She tries to push past Allan, but he stands his ground. “He thinks he can send me this note, does he?” she mutters. “I’ll make sure Williams hears of this! We will not be cut out.”

Suddenly, she pulls herself up to her full height and turns her attention toward me. “Is this your doing? Did you have a part in my dismissal?” She does not wait for my answer. “I heard talk of this house, they warned me I would regret coming here. But I was forced into this position. To think that I have fallen so low as to have
to teach someone with
your
shameful upbringing …” She shakes her head. “Here’s a message you can give to your father from me, you … you …”

Before I can react, her hand whips forward and her palm leaves its outline against my cheek. “Illegitimate heathen!”

For a moment, I am sorely tempted to slap her right back. But then Allan grips her by the shoulders. “You are very lucky you are a woman, madam,” he says furiously. He carries her backward through the door and deposits her unceremoniously onto the street. “Were you a man, I would give you the comeuppance you so justly deserve.”

I can still hear Mrs. Tusk’s shouting outside as Allan returns. Shutting the door firmly behind him, he sweeps me off my feet and carries me into the kitchen. “Cook!” he yells. “Johanna! Maddy!”

“You don’t have to carry me,” I protest. “I am not harmed.” But I grip the back of his shoulders tightly, feeling delicate in his arms. Perhaps I should make the most of such a situation.

“You
are
harmed.” Anger fills his eyes as he looks down at me. “I can see the mark that beastly woman left on you.”

Cook and Johanna come running. They gasp when they catch sight of me. “What happened?” Johanna asks.

“A visit from Mrs. Tusk,” Allan replies. “She misplaced her manners, so I showed her to the door.”

“Master Allan!” Cook huffs. She’s out of breath. “It’s not proper fer you to be so close.”

“I am only holding her,” Allan says. “Not ravaging her.”

Cook directs Allan to set me down by the fireplace and hurries over to the potato bin. When she returns, she carries a large knife and a potato, which she sets on the chopping block. She slices it in half and hands me a piece. “Fer the swelling. We don’t want the master to think you was in a tussle, now, do we?”

Johanna brings me a damp cloth and gently wipes my face. The coolness is soothing, and I hold the potato to my cheek. Allan watches them fussing over me, then casts a glance at the door to Father’s laboratory.

“Go,” I tell him. “I am well cared for here.”

But he still looks unsure.

“
Go
,” I say again. “You do not want to be late. It would make Father unhappy.”

Leaning down, he gently kisses my unblemished cheek. “Tomorrow morning in the courtyard, seven fifteen,” he whispers.

His lips are so close that if I were to turn my head, they would touch mine. But I’m aware that we are not alone, so I simply nod and try not to blush.

“Take good care of her,” he says to Cook and Johanna.

“Don’t you worry none, Master Allan,” Cook says. “Our young miss will be right as rain with us watching over her.”

With one final long look at me, Allan strides over to the fireplace and then disappears behind the door that will take him down to my father’s laboratory.

I sit with Cook and Johanna until I find myself discreetly hiding several yawns, and then slip upstairs to my bedroom for a short rest before dinner. When I return to the dining room, the imprint from Mrs. Tusk’s hand has faded from my face and I’m feeling greatly refreshed.

Father does not join us at the table again, but I’m
relieved by his absence. Although I’m curious as to why he’s dismissed Mrs. Tusk; if he were here, I would not be able to stop myself from asking him about it. And with his ever changing moods, it would surely displease him.

After dinner, I quickly excuse myself and return to my room. When I reach my door, however, it’s slightly ajar. I hear the sound of water splashing, and I open it to find Maddy standing next to a gleaming copper bathing tub. Steam rises around her shoulders, and a curl has worked its way free of her plaited hair. But her face is beaming with a jubilant smile.

“Maddy!” I step into the room. “What is this?”

“Cook told me what happened with that horrible woman.” She casts a quick glance at my cheek and then looks away. “I never should’ve left you an’ Master Allan alone. I’ll go back to the house an’ retrieve the salve you left fer Mama. That will help.”

“Oh, no, Maddy, she needs it more than I do. I’ll be fully healed by tomorrow. And if you had not left Allan and me alone …” My cheeks warm.

Her crooked grin returns. “I swear, Miss Annabel, I thought I heard Cook calling fer me.”

I return her smile and glance over at the tub again.
It’s been
ages
since I’ve had a bath. And never in a tub as big as the one that’s before me now.

“We wanted to surprise you,” Maddy says, catching my look of longing. “Cook an’ Johanna an’ me. Cook hauled the tub up, an’ me an’ Johanna took turns carrying the water.”

They did this for me?
I give her the biggest smile I have and then hug her. “Thank you. And please give Cook and Johanna my thanks, as well.”

Maddy returns my hug, but wiggles out of it a moment later. “Let’s get you undressed now. Water’s getting cold.” Quickly undoing my laces, she hangs my dress in the armoire. “I’ll leave you in peace now. Enjoy yer bath.”

I quickly remove the last of my undergarments as soon as the door has shut behind her. The feeling is deliciously freeing. Balancing on the edge of the tub, I put the towel on the floor beside me and step carefully into the water. A satisfied sigh escapes me. It truly is a wonderful feeling. The water rises higher, edging closer to my neck, and then I realize that I’m still wearing my scarf.

I glance quickly around the room. Mother told me never to take it off. But I’m completely alone here.

Gripping the edges of the tub, I pull myself to a sitting position and slowly unwind the linen scarf. It falls to the floor. I slide back under the water until my ears are covered, and I close my eyes. It feels as if all of my cares are floating away.

But a sudden vibration makes me open my eyes again. I lift my head to see Maddy entering the room, and water streams in every direction as I hastily sit up. There is no time to reach for my scarf, so I use my hands to try to shield myself from her.

I’m not worried about my modesty. I’m worried about the scars.

A sliver of soap is cradled in Maddy’s cupped hands, but she comes to a halt when she sees me. Her eyes trace the grotesque patchwork covering the upper part of my chest and neck. Although I have not looked at them in many years, I know the scars are still as dark and ugly as the first time I saw them when I was very young.

The true reason I never take off my scarf is now on full display.

Maddy comes over to the edge of the tub, but doesn’t stare. “I forgot to leave the soap. Would you like me to help you wash yer hair?”

I can hardly believe she’s not shrinking back in fear, or fleeing from disgust. Mother told me the scars came from an operation when I was a baby, but that we were never to speak of it. I felt such shame growing up with them. But now Maddy is acting as if she does not see them at all.

“You’re not afraid of me?” I say unbelievingly.

“Why should I be?”

“Because I’m a monster. My skin is disfigured, and I’m hideous to look at.”

“Yer not a monster. Yer my friend.”

Her simple words are so genuine. I bow my head, throat thick with tears. “I … would be truly grateful if you helped me wash my hair, Maddy. No one has ever offered before.”

She reaches into the tub and lathers up the soap. Her hands are gentle as she scrubs my hair, and then she tells me to close my eyes as she scoops water over my head to rinse away the bubbles. When she tells me I can open my eyes again, and I notice the string that held her locket is no longer around her neck.

“What happened to your necklace, Maddy?” I ask.

She glances down and absentmindedly toys with her collar. “It’s safe in the kitchen. I took it off while I
hauled the water fer the tub.” She places the soap on the floor within my reach and turns to leave.

But by the door, she pauses. “I will tell no one yer secret, Miss Annabel. It’s safe with me. I promise.”

And as the door shuts quietly behind her, I cannot stop myself from thinking that now there’s one more secret for this house to keep.

Eighteen

I
wake before the sun rises the next morning. Climbing out of bed, I pull on my red silk robe and reach for my scarf. But instead of wrapping it around my neck, I sit and stare at it. Pondering Maddy’s reaction to my scars—how she now knows the secret I have kept for so many years.

Gathering the scarf, I walk over to the looking glass.

There are several small scars at the base of my throat. They do not extend very far, and are fainter in color. But lower, over my heart, the skin is puckered and uneven. Dark lines create a grotesque web of flesh that’s been there for as long as I can remember.

I clench the scarf tightly as my mind fills with the memory of the first time Mother told me I must wear it. I was very young, and we were still living in England. The weather had been unbearably warm and I wanted to go swimming in the pond with the other children. But when Mother saw me removing the scarf, she pulled me from the water and marched me back to Aunt Isobel’s house. The look in her eyes frightened me as she gripped my shoulders. “You must never take off your scarf around anyone else, Annabel! Promise me! Or God will punish you for it.”