Ogre, Ogre (Xanth 5) (30 page)

"You mean I can keep it?" she asked, amazed.

"Keep it," the Siren said. "I think you will have no trouble getting a suitable husband here now.
Probably a chief.
Whatever you choose."

Goldy considered, contemplating the wand. "There is that. Power is a language we goblins understand somewhat too well." She faced Smash again. "Ogre, I don't know what to say. No goblin would have done this for you."

"He's no ordinary ogre," Tandy said, giving Smash's arm a squeeze. "Keep the wand. Use it well."

"I will," Goldy agreed, and there seemed to be an ungoblinish tear in her eye. "If any of you folk ever have need of goblin assistance--"

"Just in getting out of here," Chem said. "Any information on the geography to the north would be appreciated."

Goldy gestured toward the lieutenant with the wand.
"Information?"

Hastily the goblins acquainted Chem with what they knew of the reaches to the north, which wasn't much.

Well fed, the party set out as dusk fell, following the bog to the river, and the river until it petered out. They camped near the firewall, snacking on some leftover mushroom tidbits Goldy had arranged to have packed. They would have to cross the Region of Fire again to get where they were going, as the goblins had assured them that it went right up to the land of the griffins, which beasts were hostile to travelers.

"That was a generous thing you did,
Smash
," the Siren said. "You could so readily have kept the wand, especially after they tried to trick you out of it and use it against you."

"Goldy had better use for it," Smash said. "Why should an ogre crave more power?"

"One thing I don't understand," John said. "You say you were victimized by the Eye Queue vine. That makes you smarter than an ordinary ogre, whose skull is filled with bone."

"Correct," Smash agreed uncomfortably.

"But that does not account for your generosity, does it? You have let the rest of us impose on you, and you did something really nice for Goldy, and I don't think another ogre would, not even a smart one. Goblins are like ogres, only smaller and smarter, and they don't do anything for anybody."

Smash scratched his head.
Still no fleas.
"Maybe I got confused."

"Maybe so," the fairy replied thoughtfully. Tandy and Chem and the Siren nodded, smiling with that certain female knowingness that was so annoying.

Smash's Eye Queue would not leave well enough alone; that was its most annoying trait. He greeted the next morning with doubts. "How do we know the griffins are unfriendly?" he asked. "Can we trust the information of the goblins? We do know the fire is dangerous, on the other hand."

"We certainly do!" John agreed. "My wings will never grow back if I keep singeing them! But griffins are pretty violent creatures and they do eat people."

"Let's travel near the firewall," the Siren suggested. "That way we can cross over and risk the fire if the griffins turn out to be too ferocious."

They did that. But soon the bog closed in, squeezing them against the firewall. The colored fins paced them eagerly.

Chem halted. "I think we have to make a decision," she said as she updated her map-image.

"I'll check the other side," Smash said, setting down the Siren. He stepped across the firewall.

He was at the edge of the fumaroles, amidst fresh ashes. Not far north the forest fire continued to rage. There was no safe passage here!

He saw a shape in the ashes. Curious, he uncovered it. It was the burned-out remnant of a large tree trunk, still smoldering. The fall of ashes had smothered it before it finished its own burning. Smash wondered when a tree of this size ever had a chance to grow here. Maybe it had fallen across the firewall from the other side.

Then he had a notion. He put his gloved hamhands on the charred log and heaved it back through the firewall. Then he stepped through himself. "A boat," he announced.
"A boat!"
Tandy exclaimed, delighted.
"Of course!"
They went to work with a will, scraping out ashes and burned-out fragments and splinters. Then they launched the dugout craft in the muck. Smash ripped out a sapling to use as a pole so he could shove their boat forward. He remembered traveling similarly with Prince Dor. But this was more challenging, because now he had responsibility for the party.

The colored fins crowded in as the craft slid through the bog. At length Smash became annoyed, and used the tip of his pole to poke at the nearest fin. There was a chomp, and the pole abruptly shortened.

Angry, Smash reached out with a gauntleted hand and caught hold of the offending fin. He heaved it out of the water.

The creature turned out to be fishlike, with strong flukes and sharp teeth. "What are you?" Smash demanded, shaking it. The thing was heavy, but Smash had over half his ogre strength back now and was able to control his captive.

"I'm a loan shark, idiot!" the fish responded, and Smash did not have the wit, until his Eye Queue jogged him snidely later, to marvel that a fish spoke human language. "Want to borrow anything?
Prompt service, easy terms."

"Don't do it!" John cried. "You borrow from one of
them,
it'll take an arm and a leg in return. That's how they live."

"You have already borrowed part of my pole," Smash told the shark. "I figure you owe me. I'll take a fin and a fluke."

"That's not the way it works!" the shark protested. "No one skins sharks!"

"There is always a first time," Smash said. He had a fundamental understanding of this kind of dealing. He put his other hand on the thing's tail and began to pull.

The shark struggled and grunted, but could not free itself. "What do you want?" it screamed. "I want to get out of this bog," Smash said. "I'll get you out!" The shark was quite accommodating, now that it was in a bad position. "Just let me go!"

"Don't trust it any farther than you can throw it," John advised.

Smash was not about to. He used one finger to poke a hole in the shark's green fin and passed Chem's rope through it. Then he heaved the creature forward. It landed with a dull muddy splash before the dugout, the rope pulling taut. "That's as far as I can throw it," Smash said.

The shark tried to swim away, but as it moved, it hauled the boat along behind. It was not trustworthy, but it seemed to be seaworthy.
Or bogworthy.

"Now you can swim anywhere you want to, Sharky," Smash called to it. "But I'll loose the rope only when we reach the north edge of this bog."

"Help!
Help me, brothers!" the shark called to the other fins that circled near.

"Are you helpless?" one called back. "In that case, I'll be happy to tear you apart."

"Sharks never help each other," John remarked. "That's why they don't rule Xanth."

"Ogres don't help each other, either," Smash said.
"The same for most dragons."
And he realized that he had suffered another fundamental revelation about the nature of power. Human beings helped each other, and thus had become a power in Xanth far beyond anything that could be accounted for by their size or individual magic.

Meanwhile, the loan shark got the message. It was living on borrowed time, unless it moved. It thrust north, and the bog fairly whizzed by. Soon they were at the north bank.

They climbed out, and Smash unthreaded the rope. The shark vanished instantly. No one sympathized with it; it had for once been treated as it treated others.

But now the griffins came. Probably another shark had snitched, so the griffins had been alert for the party's arrival. Since the creatures probably intended no good,
Smash
stepped quickly across the firewall for a peek at that situation. He found himself in the middle of the forest fire. No hope there!

The great bird-headed, lion-bodied creatures lined up, inspecting the motley group. The monsters were the color of shoe polish. Then they charged.

Smash reacted automatically. He swung his pole, knocking the first griffin back. Then he dived across the firewall, ripped a burning sapling out of the ground, dived back, and hurled the flaming mass at the remaining griffins. The sapling was of firewood, which burned even when green; in a moment the wing feathers of the griffins were burning.

The monsters squawked and hurled themselves into the bog to douse the flames. The colored fins of the sharks clustered close. "You're using our muck!" a shark cried. "You owe us a wing and a paw!"

The griffins did not take kindly to this solicitation. A battle erupted. Muck, feathers, and pieces of fin flew outward, and the mud boiled.

Smash and the girls walked northwestward, following the curve of the firewall, leaving the violence behind. The landscape was turning nicer, with occasional fruit and nut trees, so they could feed as they traveled.

The Siren, rested by her tour in the boat and periodic dippings of her tail, found she could walk now. That lightened Smash's burden.

There were birds here, flitting among the trees, picking at the trunks, scratching into the ground. The farther the party went, the more there were. Now and then, flocks darkened the sky. Not only were they becoming more numerous, they were getting larger.

Then a flight of really large birds arrived--the fabulous rocs. These birds were so big they could pick up a medium sized dragon and fly with it. Was their intent friendly or hostile?

A talking parrot dropped down. "Ho, strangers!" it hailed them "What melodies bring you to Birdland?"

Smash looked at the parrot. It was all green and red, with a downcurving beak. "We only seek to pass through," he said. "We are going north."

"You are going west," the bird said.

So they were; the gradually curving firewall had turned them about They reoriented, bearing north.

"Welcome to pass through Birdland," the parrot said. "There will be a twenty per cent poll tax. One of your
number
will have to stay here."

"That isn't fair!" Tandy protested. "Each of us has her own business."

"We are not concerned with fairness," the poll replied, while the horrendously huge rocs drifted lower, their enormous talons dangling. "We are concerned with need. We need people to cultivate our property so there will be more seeds for us to eat. So we hold a reasonable share of those who pass."

"A share--for slavery?"
Tandy demanded, her spunky spirit showing again.

"Call it what you will. One of you will stay--or all will stay. The tax will be paid." And the rocs dropped lower yet. "Poll your number to determine the one."

Smash knew it would be useless to fight. He might break the claws of one roc, but another would carry away the girls. The big birds had too much power. "We'll see," he said.

Tandy turned on him. "We'll see! You mean you'll go along with this abomination?"

"We don't have much choice," Smash said, his Eye Queue once again dominating his better ogre nature. "We'll just have to cross this land,
then
decide who will remain."

"You traitor!"
Tandy flared.
"You coward!"

The Siren tried to pacify her, but Tandy moved away, her face red and body stiff, and hurled an invisible tantrum at Smash. It struck him on the chest, and its impact was devastating. Smash staggered back, the wind knocked out of him. No wonder the goblin chief had fallen; those tantrums were potent!

His head gradually cleared. Smash found himself sitting down, little clouds of confusion dissipating. Tandy was beside him, hugging him as well as she could with her small arms. "Oh, I'm so sorry. Smash. I shouldn't have done that! I know you're only trying to be reasonable."

"Ogres aren't reasonable," he muttered.

"It's just that--one of us--how can we ever callously throw one to the wolves? To the birds, I mean. It just isn't right!"

"I don't know," he said. "We'll have to work it out."

"I wish we had the wand," she said.

The Siren came to them. "We do have the Ear," she reminded them.

"There is that," Tandy agreed. "Let me hear it." She took the Gap Dragon's Ear and listened carefully. "Silent," she reported.

Smash took it from her and listened. For him, too, it was silent. Chem had no better result. "I fear it has gone dead--or we have no future," she said.
"Nowhere to go."

John was the last to listen. Her face brightened. "I hear something!" she exclaimed.
"Singing--fairies singing.
There must be fairies nearby!"

"Well, that's what you're looking for," the Siren said. "Let's see if they're within Birdland. Maybe we can get some advice on how to proceed."

There seemed to be nothing better to do. Smash lurched to his feet, amazed at the potency of Tandy's tantrum; he still felt weak. An ogress could hardly have hit him harder! Yet more than that, he marveled at her quick reversal of mood. She had been almost savagely impetuous--then humanly sorry. Too bad, he mused, she hadn't been born an ogress. That tantrum--it also reminded him a bit of one of his mother's curses.

He shook his head. Foolish fantasy was pointless. He had to clear his reeling noggin, and get moving, and find Tandy a good human-type husband so the demon wouldn't bother her any more. Good Magician Humfrey must have known that there would be a suitable man for her somewhere in this wilderness, a man she would never encounter unless she traveled here. Since Smash was passing this way anyway, it had been easy enough to take her along. The truth was
,
she was nice enough company, tiny and temperamental as she was. He had not had much company like that before and was becoming acclimated to it. He knew this was un-ogrish; maybe such ridiculous feelings would pass when he got rid of the Eye Queue curse.

They proceeded on, following John, who used the Ear to orient on the fairies. The rocs paced them; they would not be able to depart Birdland without paying their poll toll. One body...