Old Enough to Love... (Just One of the Guys) (21 page)

He waited at the exit until I got close then pushed open the door. The snow was deep and I was glad we had Ryan’s four wheel drive. I went to my side this time and got in looking straight ahead. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that…”

He interrupted. “Forget it.”  His tone was cold and I’d known him for too long to let something like this come between us. 

Trying to find courage, I thought before I spoke. “You know what, Grant Meiers. I have loved you for four years and you wouldn’t give me the time of day. Suddenly, someone else expresses a tad bit of interest in me and BOOM…there you are.” He abruptly veered the truck to the curb and shifted into park focusing on me. “Hey, Runt.” I continued mimicking his voice. ‘I noticed you this summer.’ ‘She ain’t a runt anymore.’”  I watched as he smiled, which infuriated me. “‘Hey…I hear you and Owen’s are kaput,’” I continued.

Unexpectedly, he grabbed my jaw with both hands, one hand on each side, and pulled my mouth to his cutting off my words. At first, I kissed back…his lips soft, mushier than Zach’s, then I realized that this wasn’t OK. As his hand touched my cheek, I drew away. I heard him exhale and his hands gripped the steering wheel.

“It happened this summer. I didn’t see it comin’ either.” He stared out the windshield.

“You know when you and Chloe broke up and you were so down in the dumps? You crashed with us for a couple of days and you didn’t think there’d ever be anyone else. Do you remember that?”
I
remembered it clearly. I saw it as my chance to have Grant.

“Yes.” The heater was on high and I barely heard him.

“I wanted to scream at you…pick me. Me! But you waited until…” I shook my head.

“You know what…it’s OK. You like Zach.”

I lowered my head.  I couldn’t recall a time in my life where two guys liked me at the same time and now, Zach
and
Grant. Unbelievable. Why was this happening?

“Let’s get back.” He broke the silence.

“Fine,” I squeaked out. I didn’t know how to respond to my brother’s oldest and best friend. He squeezed my hand as he steered back to the house.

I didn’t know what to expect when I walked through the door.  Grant and I’d only been gone about an hour, but night had fallen, and I’m sure dinner had been served. The front door was unlocked. Everyone was crashed in the living area around the giant flat screen television. Zach and Brett lounged on the sofa while Claire and Jaycee sprawled out on the loveseat. Ali sat indian style between Ryan’s legs. No Estelle.

Still in my ski pants, I went directly to the bedroom, showered quickly, pulled on some sweat
shorts, towel dried my hair and ventured back out nervously. Everybody was still in their spots, so I plopped down on a step leading down into the living room and stared at the TV.  No one spoke. They seemed either annoyed or exhausted.

Zach hadn’t acknowledged me…even with a look. My lip burned from where I’d chewed too deeply and I tasted blood. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. His face was serious…tight…angry. He stared at the TV as well, but I knew he wasn’t watching. His eyes weren’t focused.

Grant dumped his body next to me. “You doin OK?”

Hell no!
  I shrugged getting angrier by the minute. He poked his index finger into my side and tickled. I giggled out loud. “Stop,” I whispered.

He kissed my forehead and I laughed, but my smile faded and I swallowed hard as Zach’s eyes rested on us. His brown eyes glowed red. I had never been scared of him, but he scared me at that moment.  He stood and stalked toward us. Grant rose gracefully to his feet. With urgency, I glanced at Ryan, whose eyes were on all three of us.

Zach’s hands were in tight fists. “Meiers? May I speak with her?”

“Why are you asking
him
?” I blurted out angrily.

Grant grinned obviously pleased that he was consulted with the request. “If it were my say, the answer would be no.” His voice was flat. “But, it’s not. She’s a big girl. I can vouch for that.” He winked at Zach.

A growl ripped through Zach’s chest. He shoved Grant violently backward jarring him against the wall and a picture clattered to the ground.

“ZACH!” I screamed and lunged toward him.

Ryan tossed me to the sofa and Brett bear-hugged Zach from behind heaving him in the opposite direction. Estelle’s mom peeked around the corner then ducked back into the kitchen when she saw it seemed under control. Grant chuckled as he got up and picked up the picture, hanging it back in its spot. Brett whispered something to Zach, who snarled and glared at Grant who made his way to Ryan and me.

“That was mean,” I accused Grant.

“Whaaat?” he laughed.

Zach broke away from Brett and bolted to me. He offered me his hand politely though his eyes were cold and hard. I hesitated for a moment. Grant waited too. My hands were freezing, and, when I touched Zach’s, his heat sent a warm tingle through my body. I stood and he guided me to a bedroom. As he shut the door behind us, I heard someone ask, “Who wants to get in the hot tub?”

His eyes still frightened me and he dropped my hand after the door was closed. I heard him breathing…in and out…his fingers intertwined and locked behind his head as he paced. I sat on the corner of the king-sized bed. Suddenly, he moved toward me, took my hands in his and rubbed them between his, blowing into his palms to warm them. He didn’t look at me.

With the door shut, the room didn’t get the heat from the fireplace and I shivered. He finally positioned himself on the opposite corner of the bed, his elbows resting on his knees. “I’m sorry I scared you.” I loved hearing his voice.

“It’s OK.” I wondered if I’d get the chance to hold him.

He slapped his knee. “It’s not OK,” he disagreed. He shook his head at an apparent bad thought. “When you left tonight with—with your boyfriend…I went nuts. This is not…”

“He’s not my boyfriend and you know it.” My words were hateful.

“Where did you two go?”

“What difference does it make? You spent the day with
your
girlfriend.” Finally, eye contact, though it wasn’t what I was hoping for. His eyes were full of disappointment.

“Her mom was already here and Claire and Jaycee thought she’d left and they took off without her. She apparently tried Ryan but he didn’t get the call because you all were already in the mountains and didn’t have reception. So…she called me.  Brett and I hadn’t left so we picked her up. I AM SORRY. Given that we were staying at her place, I figured it was the least we could do.” 

My heart raced. “Yeah, but…”

“When we got here, everyone was gone.” His tone was harsh and his words articulate. “We decided to punt skiing for today because of the storm. So we hung out here…all
three
of us. So, I wait all fucking day to see you and you walk in the door—give me the benefit of the doubt….oh wait, no you didn’t…then you run off with Meiers. Nice.”

My eyes lost their battle with my emotions and tears swelled. I couldn’t breathe and I made a dash for the door opening it slightly but he wrapped one arm around my waist and pushed the door closed with the other hand. His breath came in short bursts through my hair. It had been so long since I’d smelled him.
              “Zach,” I cried. “I thought that…”

“I
know
what you thought.” His words were soft and his eyes turned gentle.

“When I saw you two…” My throat tightened. “Come from the hallway…” I sniffed. “I panicked and I had to get out.”  He kissed my head and sat me on the bed, his arms still around me. My crying bordered on sobbing and I was embarrassed.  With his thumbs, he wiped the tears and held my cheeks.

“Then…I turned around to escape and Grant was there and I knew he’d help me and I…”  He tucked my head into his chest where it had belonged for the past few months. I missed it. I missed him.

He whispered. “Grant helped you because he’s in love with you.”

“I know.” I sniffed again and his body stiffened beneath me. He pushed me away and took hold of my shoulders, his eyes penetrating mine.

“For six months, I’ve tried to get you to understand that he likes you and you’ve fought it. Now you’re agreeing. Why?” He wanted an explanation.

My tears ran dry and my emotions seemed more under control. But I feared saying too much. “He told me.”

“Told you what exactly?” His tone was casual.

I cleared my throat. “I asked him.” Zach’s eyes were soft. “I asked him, why now?”

“And what was his answer to that by the way?”

“He said that it happened this summer. He was surprised by it too. But he said that he knew I liked you and wouldn’t push it.”

“And did he?” he asked.

“Push it?” My heart skipped a beat. I could be honest and trust that he wouldn’t get angry at me or I could lie. I detested lies. “Maybe a little.” I heard him inhale. My lips pursed and I gave him a squinty look.  “He was a gentleman. As much as you don’t want to hear it…he was.”

“
Mmm,” was his only response.

“He kissed me.” I whispered the words but he heard them clearly and shot up off the bed.

“And you allowed that?”

“No.” I explained. “I pulled away from him.” I watched as he rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. He blew a long breath out and walked to the door. I jumped up. “Where are you going?”

“I need to talk to Meiers.” He appeared calm.

“Oh no, you don’t.” I waved my head from side to side and blocked the door as if that would keep him from getting out. He picked me up and I sighed, resigned to my second defeat when his lips met mine gently. Finally, the only thing I’d wanted since I’d gotten here. Weeks had passed since I tasted these lips. His breath the same as I remembered. His legs moved beneath me…he was walking as he held me suspended. Then our bodies tipped and I fell onto the bed. He landed near me but used his arms to prevent falling on me.

“You know what makes me the saddest?” he asked.

His eyes looked tortured. “What?”

He pecked my nose. “You didn’t believe in me…in us. I don’t know how to make you understand that I want to be with you, Em.”              

There was no limit to what I would do to make him happy—to see his beautiful smile. But, didn’t he see how perfect he was and how weak and insecure I was? He was strong enough to endure this break and I wasn’t sure I’d survive. We had tonight though and I refused to waste any more time. I finally answered. “I do believe in us. I’m sorry I was…” the word sounded too immature to say. “…jealous,”  I sputtered out.

His lips brushed across mine so softly I wasn’t sure if they really had.

“Well. I’ve wrestled with my fair share of jealousy tonight too. So don’t be too hard on yourself.”  He kissed my fingertips and up my arm, smiling as a shiver rippled through my body.

“Don’t be jealous of Grant.” I hoped he believed the words.

He snickered. “Right.” He nuzzled his lips near my throat and kissed. “The guy who stole you away tonight, kissed you the second he got the chance, then goads me out there in front of you. That shouldn’t bother me a bit.”

His breath tickled my neck and I giggled. “Yes, but who’s lying on this king size bed with me, with his lips pressed against my neck?”

“Hmm.
That
would be me. And the reason I know that is because if he got this close to you, I’d break his neck.”

“Someone’s not playing well with others.” Then I easily shoved him backward onto the bed and crawled on top of him, straddling his waist, which wasn’t an easy task. I’d never straddled him before.  “Dude. You are big!”

He laughed. “I’m only an entire foot taller and hundred pounds heavier than you. You are way too far away from me at this moment.”

“Do you remember the turnabout is fair play conversation?” He had kissed my neck and touched me over and over again in the past ten minutes and…turnabout…

I lifted his shirt and rubbed my hands across his tapered torso. His chest rose and fell with a slow breath, and I leaned in to kiss the soft skin. “Em.” A warning was attached to his tone.