Old Sins Long Shadows (44 page)

‘
Dr Barker is attending a function in Truro and will be staying overnight. Dr Billingsworth is meant to be taking his calls. He lives in St. Tude but I’m afraid he will be of no help to you. Someone else sought him out this afternoon and found him drunk in the ale house in the village. He was fit for nothing then and he still had a brandy in his hand.’  Daniel swore. Everything was going wrong and he was powerless to help. He pulled himself back into the saddle. The sooner he let Edna know the bad news the better.

  When Daniel arrived home he knew instantly something was wrong
. Molly came downstairs looking close to tears. Gone was her earlier excitement and she couldn’t bring herself to speak for fear of crying. She fetched Edna who came down to speak to Daniel.

‘
Is Bertha ’ere?’ she asked immediately.

‘
No. She’s left for Mevergissey, Dr Barker is in Truro and the doctor in St.Tude is drunk. I don’t know who else to fetch. How is she?’  Janey’s moans were quieter and he hoped it was a good sign. It was not.

‘It’s not going well. There’s something wrong. The speed and strength of ’er pains are strong but the baby just won’t come. She’s getting weaker, Daniel. I don’t think she can last much longer.’  Daniel felt numb and could no longer speak. Edna turned her attention to David who was looking at her with glistening eyes.

‘Fetch Agnes, she lives at Myrtle cottage. It’s the run down house with the ivy growing over the top windows and a garden that is overgrown with brambles. Tell her Edna needs ’er ’elp. Tell ’er Edna’s sorry for what she ’as said in the past. Tell ’er anything, just get ’er ’ere.’

David ran out of the house and galloped off on Daniel’s already lathered up horse
. Daniel found his voice to ask the question he dreaded learning the answer to.

‘
What’s going on, Edna?  She’s going to be alright isn’t she?’

‘
No, Daniel, I don’t think she is. I think she’s dying. You’d better come in and spend some time with ’er. It may be the last chance you get.’

The room smelt of sweat and blood, immediately infiltrating Daniel’s nostrils like a sickly poison when he opened the door. A frightened Molly was sitting holding Janey’s hand, but on seeing Daniel made an immediate retreat to allow him access to her.

‘
We’ll be outside the door if you need us, Daniel,’ whispered Edna and she quietly pulled the door closed behind him. Daniel stood looking at his wife. She looked pale and weak as she lay sprawled on the dishevelled bed. She wore her white cotton nightgown which was stained slightly with what appeared like watery blood. Her hair was wet from effort and her legs shook with pain. She opened her eyes and reached out her hand to him, whispering his name with dried, cracked lips. He had never seen her so close to death, for that was what she was. Yet the eyes that looked up at him were her eyes, much duller, etched with pain, but they were her eyes all the same. Despite her appearance that was foreign to him it was still her. It was her soul looking back at him, her spirit was still on this earth and he reached for her.

He cradled her in his arms and tried to sooth
e her as he did in the depths of the night to chase away her nightmares but this nightmare would not end. Her limp body shook as another contraction reared its ugly head, building and building like a violent torturer enjoying inflicting pain to its victim. In agony she buried her face in his chest, clinging to his arms for support yet even in this she felt weak. As the pain passed she lay like a limp doll in his arms.

‘
This is my fault,’ Daniel stroked away the wet hair from her face, ‘I shouldn’t have argued with you.’ She shook her head weakly.

‘
Hush now,’ she soothed, ‘The labour had started long before our row. I just… didn’t realise.’  It was an effort for her to speak and he knew it, yet even now she was soothing and reassuring him. ‘They don’t think I know…,’ he could hardly hear her voice, ‘…but I do. I’m dying, Daniel. I know I am.’  He told her she was wrong but she would have none of it. ‘I don’t have the time for untruths.’ She touched his cheek and to his horror her hand felt cold. ‘I want you to know I do love you. Always have. I just didn’t realise it.’

‘
You seem to not realise a lot,’ Daniel said trying to lighten things, she smiled weakly at his remark.

‘
I heard you speaking to Edna about the baby.’

‘
I know. I’m so sorry.’  She shook her head weakly again to quieten his words.

‘
Don’t be Daniel, I understand.’ Her lids fluttered shut for a moment and she tried to gain some strength. ‘It must be hard for you to bring up another man’s baby as your own. Please, Daniel, promise me you will not …,’ she faltered, the effort of speaking was getting too much.

‘
Hush Janey, rest. You need your strength,’ soothed Daniel, tears stinging his eyes but she ignored him and continued to speak.

‘….will not make my baby suffer for the way it was conceived or who its father is. Please promise me.’

‘
I promise. The baby will never know that I am not its real father in deed or word.’  Janey sighed and relaxed in his arms for a few seconds savouring his promise until another contraction racked her body. The contraction was more violent than the last but Janey’s reaction was weaker. She was dying in his arms and he felt useless to help her.

After it had passed her eyes remained shut
as she weakly smiled to herself.

‘
You have always helped me when I was in trouble - on the night of the harvest dance - by the river - in the ruin - even on Helman Tor when I was thinking of killing myself.’

‘
I can’t help you now, Janey. Only you can do that. Don’t give up. Don’t give up on us.’

‘
I don’t have the strength,’ her voice was so quiet he could hardly hear her, ‘I’m exhausted.’ 

He held her tightly.
‘Don’t leave me,’ he pleaded.

‘
I have no choice.’ She was slipping away from him like water through his fingers.

‘
Haunt me if you must, just don’t leave me,’ he was becoming angry in his distress, ‘Walk in my dreams, be by my side in the day, just don’t leave me alone on this earth without you!’

‘
I’m too tired, Daniel. Just speak to me. Let me hear your voice.’

As the life flowed out of Janey’s body
, Daniel rocked her in his arms. She was too exhausted to fight for life and he knew it.

‘
From the first day I saw you,’ he said gently, ‘I wanted you as my wife. You were standing on the moor, surrounded by lambs bleating for their mothers, with your arms outstretched to the sky. The sun was shining on your face and you were sighing in pleasure.’  Daniel smiled at the memory. ‘You didn’t know I was watching, but I was. You were being so spontaneous and happy and I knew from that moment I wanted to spend my life making you feel that way again.’  He stroked another wet strand away from her clammy forehead. She was smiling but her eyes remained closed and he was unsure if she could still hear him. ‘You wore a blue dress and a bonnet with matching blue ribbons. You had one single strand of hair that had come loose and it bobbed and bounced against your neck as you walked. You were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen and I was lost for words. By the time I had found my tongue you were gone. I thought I would never see you again. I even wondered if I’d dreamt you up.’  He kissed her limp hand and held it to his cheek, ‘If you had a brood of children hanging on your skirts I would still have married you. I was so afraid you would not turn up to the church that day. Then suddenly there you were, looking as beautiful as ever with flowers in your hair.’

The smile from Janey’s face had gone and she lay quietly in
his arms. She looked dead, if it wasn’t for her shallow breathing he would have thought she was. The door opened and Edna entered with an old woman. Agnes, the wise woman from the dilapidated cottage in the village had arrived.

She was older than Edna and twice as ugly, with a hooked nose and a whiskery chin
. Her expression was grave when she saw Janey. She did not waste time on polite greetings and immediately rolled up her sleeves.

Addres
sing the stricken man who sat cradling his wife’s body, she said, ‘
You
can get out of the house. I don’t want men around while I work.’  Edna nodded to the door encouraging Daniel to do as Agnes had instructed. Daniel briefly hesitated, it may be the last time he saw Janey alive, yet if he did not let this strange creature do her job, she would be dead before the night was through. He gave his wife a heartfelt kiss on her forehead, carefully laid her head back on the pillow and left the room.

Daniel could not bear
to leave entirely. He sat at the table waiting, unsure if his legs could support his weight anymore. His whole body seemed to be shaking as he listened to the floorboards creak above his head. Molly came downstairs with a small pouch in her hand and he watched her pouring something from it into a cup and on this she poured hot water from the kettle. She no longer looked like a twelve year old. The events of the evening had aged her ten years. Daniel asked what she was doing.

‘
The woman says its yarrow herb. She said to put hot water on it, let it stand for five minutes then strain it to make a drink. She says it helps with fever and bleeding.’  She put down the kettle and turned to Daniel. ‘I’m scared Daniel. She says the baby’s in the wrong position and it’s not turned right. She’s up there prodding and pushing Janey’s belly - she’s being really rough. She’s mumbling words I don’t understand, bit like Granny Thom does, but it sounds like spells and chanting. Granny Thom is just watching and doing nothing to stop her. I’m really worried.’

Daniel buried his head in his hands
. He knew she wanted him to reassure her that Janey would be alright but he didn’t have the confidence in Agnes to give it. Molly disappeared upstairs with the brew and almost immediately Edna came down. Daniel looked up hopefully but the expression on the old woman’s face told him things were no better.

‘
How is she?’ he asked but Edna did not hear him. She was looking through the drawers and appearing to test several implements. Daniel stood up to get a better look and to his horror discovered she was testing the sharpness of the kitchen knives. ‘What are you doing?’ Edna found the one she wanted and made her way back to the stairs, Daniel blocked her way. ‘Edna, for God’s sake, what’s going on up there?’

‘
Death’s going to visit this house tonight, Daniel. We will be lucky if one of them lives. Now get out of the way, boy.’  Daniel wouldn’t move.

‘
Don’t let it be Janey who dies.’

‘
Neither will survive if you don’t move, let me pass.’

‘
Let me go for the doctor in St.Tude. Better a drunk doctor than that crone up there, casting her spells and mixing her potions!’  Edna lifted a knife to him.

‘
Move out the way, boy. I love Janey dearly but they are both going to die if I don’t give this to Agnes. Now move or I’ll use it on you.’  The old woman pushed past him and Daniel, helpless, watched her climbing the stairs. ‘If I’d done what she said years ago I might ’ave ’ad a brood of my own and you must do the same. She wants you and David out of the ’ouse. Don’t come back until sunrise. Don’t risk not doing as she says or there’ll be two deaths in this ’ouse for sure and not just one,’ called back Edna.

‘
Why trust her, Edna? Why should I trust her?’ asked Daniel. Edna paused at the top of the stairs and turned to look at him, the knife glinting in her hand.

‘
’Cos she’s my sister, boy and she knows what she’s doing,’ she said quietly. Taking a deep breath, she turned and disappeared into the bedroom.

At first Daniel could not move but then a powerful energy welled up inside him and he had to get out of the confines of the house
. He fled to the stables where he collided with David, knocking the boy to the floor and winding Daniel. Through gasps of breath he told him he was not to enter the house before sunrise. If they needed him they would send out Molly.

‘
Where are you going?’ asked David looking up at him. Daniel could not remember mounting his horse, nothing seemed real in this nightmare unfolding. ‘I don’t know. I just need to get away, but I’ll be back. I’ll be back to see the wreckage left of my life.’ He dug in his heels and the horse, bareback and bridle-less, leapt off into the night with Daniel holding its mane.

The horse and rider thundered along the moonlit road, leaving clouds of dust in their wake. At first Daniel had no plan in his head but as the events of the day tormented his mind his destination became clear to him. Using pressure from his legs he turned the horse northwards and headed for Bosvenna Estate.

The estate was now under the banks control and awaiting sale
. Although it would be empty he wanted to ensure he had the freedom to explore the house unseen, so upon arriving at the entrance of the drive he took a route through the side gardens. Once the manor came into view he slowed to a trot, jumping to the ground when he finally stopped. Leaving his horse by a tree to graze, he ran across the remaining woodland gardens, his figure disappearing intermittently among the shadows of the trees and shrubs. Eventually he reached the dairy window and just as he did as a teenager - just as he did for Janey all those months ago - he opened the metal framed window and climbed in.