Ole Doc Methuselah (29 page)

He
was nearly back to the bungalow, with one of the guards tagging him, when
Smalley screamed. Ole Doc went back.

“What's
the matter?” he asked solicitously.

“I'm
poisoned!” screamed Smalley, sagging down and clawing at his helmet. His face
was already turning red, his hands were covered with blotches.

“Well,
before you pass out,” said Ole Doc, “you'd better tell your guards that I'll
have to treat you so they won't think I'm killing you and shoot me out of
enthusiasm for their commander.”

“Don't
shoot him! Don't shoot him whatever he does!” screamed Smalley.

The
guards stood well back, eight of them. It made them very nervous when Ole Doc
had Hippocrates pass up a hypo gun and a syringe. It made them more nervous
when Ole Doc started to ram Smalley's spine and brain with that long,
glittering point.

The
first gun cured the blotches, the last gun put Smalley to sleep. And then Ole
Doc went on into the bungalow to get himself some food and a little rest.

 

The
following many hours were hectic indeed, for it was enough to simply treat
thirty-eight thousand kids suffering from skin allergy without the other
labors. And to complicate things, members of the hostile ship kept coming down
with it, one by one. A scribbled message from Smalley's fourth successor, for
instance, finally carried it back to the ship itself. And when the crew tried
to bring up the ailing members for treatment,
they
came down.

Shoot
with a hypo gun to cure the blotches. Shoot seven times with seven different
things in seven different places for each patient. Shoot again to put them into
a few hours' slumber.

Ole
Doc didn't sleep. He kept himself going on multithyroid, which Hippocrates said
was very bad for him indeed. But O'Hara keeled over in nervous and physical
exhaustion before they had reached the ten thousandth case. They put him under
the influence of the second hypo gun and left him in his own lion pen to snooze
it off.

And
Hippocrates and Ole Doc went on.

It
takes a long while to handle thirty-eight thousand babies and one hundred and
ten crewmen, much less treat them. But within three days they were done.

Ole
Doc stood up and looked at the still-snoring acres of babies. And at the rows
of sleeping crewmen. And at the five who, nervously aloof, still covered the
gate with powerful weapons and barred any escape.

Ole
Doc pondered giving them something. But he was too tired to take off. He went
into the bungalow and stretched out and soon was sleeping the sleep of the
innocent and just.

Eighteen
hours later, fully refreshed, he rose and washed his face. He looked out of the
window at the vigilant guards and sighed.

“Hippocrates,
go gather up our gear.”

“We
leaving?”

“On
the double,” said Ole Doc.

With
a
swish
and a
swoosh
the little being collected their scattered
equipment into a portable pile.

“Now
go gather up O'Hara and bring him along,” said Ole Doc.

Hippocrates
swept off to get the chief of the experimental station and came back lugging
him with ease. Then he took up the mountain of heavy equipment in his other two
hands and with O'Hara's heels trailing in the dust, tagged after Ole Doc, who
walked, buckling on his blasters.

The
five at the gate were wary. They had been on the post, in the two enfilading
towers, when all the illness began and they weren't going to tolerate anything
now. But they were apprehensive because they could not be sure that their
leader and other people would wake up.

“Stop
or we shoot!” barked their squad leader.

Ole
Doc negligently fingered his first cloak button. It hummed a little. He kept on
walking.

“Stop!”
cried the squad leader. “Stop and go back until I'm sure they're going to
recover or we'll kill you!”

Ole
Doc stopped. He looked sadly at the five on the wall above him. And then he
suddenly dived to the right and drew in a blur which flamed before it could be
seen. He fired rapidly.

Three
shots came at him. Three shots ricocheted off his portable force screen. Five
guards went down in charred heaps where the ashes lay amid glowing bits of
metal.

Ole
Doc looked alertly across the savannah, glanced back to make sure the screen
had protected Hippocrates and then struck off for the
Morgue.

There
was no guard there now since that guard had been changed from the ship. Ole Doc
swung in, indicated a couch where O'Hara was to be tossed and walked through
the vessel to check her for ascent. But she had not been harmed and in a few
minutes he could sink with confidence behind his controls and buckle his belts.

He
rang for takeoff and got Hippocrates' cheery okay back. And then the
Morgue
hurtled upwards to an altitude of three miles.

It
looked so peaceful down below. The dark green of the jungle bounding the silver
of the lakes was pretty to his appreciative eye. And then he dived and put five
big, solid charges into the battle cruiser and left her a curling, smoking mass
of wreckage. And he dived again at another place to the south and slammed two
shots into a mountainous stockpile of structural materials and munitions and
saw how prettily their black smoke rose, interspersed red with exploding
shells.

That
gave him a great deal of satisfaction.

He
skipped upwards then through the atmosphere and out into the black comfort of
absolute zero and set his course and speed for home.

“Calling Center,” he said into his mike. “Calling Center. Methuselah. Methuselah. Calling Center—”

“Come
in! Hey! Come in!” said Center, a tenth of a galaxy away.

“Methuselah
with a report.”

“Methuselah
is enough!” said Ole Doc Cautery at Center. “We have had five navies and the
marines looking for you for months. We've had six empires scared 'til they
can't spit. WHERE have you been?”

“Got
a report,” said Ole Doc. “Turn this on confidential.”

“Circuits
on. Begin report.”

Ole
Doc spoke into the five-wave scramble which had defied cryptographers since the
UMS had adopted it two hundred years before. “Alien extragalactic race
attempted foothold for jump-off attacks on Earth. First independent space
flight originators met so far. Stature about three-quarters Earth normal.
Carbon people. Almost a duplicate of man but missing several tissues essential
of emotional balance including one brain cord intimately related to kindness,
worry and judgment. Established depot of supplies but unable to transport
workmen and soldiers in quantity and so made use of Department of Agriculture
Experimental Station vats on Gorgon, wrecking freighter and substituting its
phials. Very sentient. Obviously well-informed intelligence at work in this
galaxy. Leaders conditioned to enterprise and spoke English. Detectable by
uncommon strength. Life period very short, reaching maturity at about six years
of age due to emotional imbalances and early development of gonads and so easy
to detect in society by rapid aging.

“Treatment
and handling of case: Developed the formulae of their gene patterns and
isolated missing development cells. Synthesized cells and injected them into
proper areas where they will harmonize with bodies. They succumb easily to a
strawberry allergy and are painfully affected by it. All beings so located and
all artificial gestations infected so that they could be treated. All treated
and left in a stupor except five who could not be reached with strawberries.

“Recommendations:
That you get hold of the Department of Agriculture of the United States as soon as possible and inform them as follows: Their vessel
Wanderho
destroyed.
Their station on Gorgon deserted but undamaged; the Achnoids there were bought
by the aliens and are no longer to be trusted; inform them that the Gorgon
Station is now inhabited by about thirty-eight thousand aliens
converted to
human beings
and that a relief expedition should be sent to take care of
them, since they will none of them be found over twelve years of age and the
bulk of them a human five or six months, needing care. Expedition should be
armed but should also contain several dozen expert nurses. Gorgon can now be
considered to be humanly populated.

“Proceeding
at normal speed to base to refit. Please have somebody air out my quarters,
preferably Miss Ellison. That is all.”

As
he threw the switch he heard a gasp behind him. “That's all!” said O'Hara.
“You convert thirty-eight thousand one hundred and some-odd extragalactic
invaders to human beings and you say ‘That's all'! Man, I've heard legends
about the Soldiers of Light, but I never realized what super boys you fellows
really are.”

Ole
Doc gave him a very bored look and then and thereafter ignored him.

“Hippocrates,”
said Ole Doc, “we're almost home. Let's open those last two bottles of wine.”

Glossary

The words and
expressions used in the 1930s and 1940s add a unique flavor and authenticity to
this tale. While a character's speech may often reflect regional origins, it
also can convey attitudes common in the day. So that readers can better grasp
such cultural and historical terms, uncommon words or expressions of the era,
the following glossary has been provided.

abattoir:
slaughterhouse;
a facility where farm animals are killed and processed into meat products. Used
figuratively.
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Algol
System:
a
three-star system in the constellation Perseus located in the northern
hemisphere, approximately 92.8 light-years from Earth. The brightest star,
Algol, known as the “Demon Star,” has also been called the “Blinking Demon” due
to the fact that every 68.75 hours its light dims rather suddenly for several
hours before returning just as quickly to its former brightness, a change that
can be seen with the naked eye. This phenomena is caused when Algol is eclipsed
by the dimmer secondary star (Algol B) as it passes in front of the brighter
star once per orbit; thus the light reaching Earth is temporarily decreased.
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Alpha
Centauri:
the
triple-star system that is closest to the Earth.
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Apocalypse:
the
final destruction of the world as described in the biblical Book of Revelation
(the last book in the New Testament). The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are
personified as plague, war, famine and death, sent as harbingers of the end of
the world.
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asepsis:
the
state of being free of disease-carrying organisms.
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avec
:
(French)
with.
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backwash:
isolated,
secluded or backward.
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Benadryl:
a
medication used to treat allergies.
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Beta:
the
fifth brightest star in Ursa Major and also one of the “Pointers” that leads
the way to Polaris, the North Star. It is located seventy-nine light years from
Earth.
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blue-sky:
having
dubious value; not financially sound.
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Boccaccio:
Giovanni
Boccaccio (1313–1375), Italian poet and writer whose classic work, the
Decameron (1348–1353), is a collection of 100 tales set against the melancholic
background of the Black Death. The Decameron, which means “ten days,” is a
fictional account of ten young people who flee from plague-ridden Florence to a
country manor, and begin telling stories to keep themselves occupied and
diverted from the tragedy they have fled. Ten days pass and each refugee tells
one story, every day, making a total of 100 different tales. The stories
explore a wide range of moral, social and political issues with candor and wit.
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bos'n:
bosun;
a ship's officer in charge of the supervision and maintenance of the ship and
its equipment.
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bucko:
a
person who is domineering and bullying.
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buncombe:
hogwash,
especially ludicrously false statements; bunk. The term arose in 1820 during a
debate in Congress from the Representative of Buncombe County, North Carolina
who gave a long rambling speech with little relevance to the current debate and
refused to yield the floor. He informed his colleagues that his speech was not
intended for Congress, and confessed that it was only made because his electors
expected it, and that he was “speaking for Buncombe.”
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calcine:
to
reduce or dry (a substance) by roasting or strong heat.
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centrifuge:
a
machine that separates substances of different densities by rotating the sample
at very high speed.
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chandlery:
commodities
sold by a retailer who deals in specified goods or equipment.
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chief
warrant bos'n:
chief
warrant officer bosun. The bosun in charge of the deck crew holding the rank of
chief warrant officer. The bosun uses a pipe (whistle-like device) to
communicate orders via different arrangements of notes. The pipe is used during
ceremonial honors when officers or officials board or leave a ship.
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colloid:
colloid
cancer; a cancer characterized by excessive production of mucus-producing
cancer cells.
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comptometer:
a
type of mechanical or electro-mechanical adding machine. Although it was
designed primarily for adding, it could also do division, multiplication and
subtraction. Special comptometers with varying key arrays (with from thirty to
well over one hundred keys) were produced for a variety of purposes, including
calculating currencies, time and measures of weight. In the hands of a skilled
operator, the comptometer was faster to use than electronic calculators and
remained in use into the 1990s. The name is apparently from a blend of
“compute” and “meter” meaning measure.
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cycle,
ten-to-thirteen:
range
of sound vibrations measured by the number of cycles of a (sound) wave per
second. The frequency of sounds lie in the range of 20–20,000 cycles per second
and anything below 20 cycles per second cannot be heard by the ear.
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dynamo:
a
machine by which mechanical energy is changed into electrical energy; a
generator.
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enfants
terrible:
(French)
literally, “terrible children”; unmanageable, mischievous children.
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ephedrine:
a
drug that opens the air passages, used in the treatment of asthma.
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eugenicized:
to
produce genetic qualities or features by controlled selective breeding.
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fop:
a
foolish person.
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G:
gravity;
a unit of acceleration equal to the acceleration of gravity at the Earth's
surface.
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gorget:
an
ornamental collar.
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governor:
a
mechanism on an engine which automatically restricts the speed.
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Graves'
disease:
a
disease that causes hyperactivity of the thyroid gland, a gland that helps set
the rate of metabolism. When the thyroid is too active, it makes more thyroid
hormones than the body needs and can cause weight loss, rapid heart rate and
nervousness leading to heart problems and death. Named for the Irish doctor
Robert James Graves who described it in 1835.
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griffin:
a
legendary creature with the body of a lion and the head and wings of an eagle.
As the lion was traditionally considered the king of the beasts and the eagle
the king of the birds, the griffin was thought to be an especially powerful and
majestic creature, and a guardian of the divine.
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grog
shop:
a
cheap tavern where alcoholic drinks are served.
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gypsum:
a
common white or colorless mineral used to make cements and plaster, especially
plaster of Paris.
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gyro:
gyroscope;
an apparatus consisting of a rotating wheel so mounted that its axis can turn
freely in certain or all directions and capable of maintaining the same
absolute direction in space in spite of movements of the mountings and
surrounding parts; used to maintain equilibrium, determine direction, etc.
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Harun
al-Rashid:
(766–809)
fifth caliph of Baghdad (786–809). He is best remembered, however, as a central
character in The Arabian Nights where he is portrayed as the epitome of the
learned and just ruler. He often traveled about the city at night in disguise
to learn firsthand the condition of his people.
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helio
motor:
a
motor run by energy from the sun.
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hoist
by his own petard:
literally
“to be blown up by one's own bomb” or to have a situation of one's own doing
lead to one's downfall. The line comes from Shakespeare's Hamlet, “For 'tis
sport to have the engineer / Hoist with his own petard. . . .” Hamlet finds his
childhood comrades, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are plotting to have him
killed. Hamlet turns the plot on them by substituting their names for his in
the death warrant they carry from King Claudius. He goes on to say, “But I will
delve one yard below their mines / And blow them at the moon.” The mines he
speaks of are land mines or petards, small explosive devices designed to blow
open barricaded doors and gates, a favorite weapon in Elizabethan times. Hamlet
is saying, figuratively, that he would bury his bomb beneath Rosencrantz and
Guildenstern and “hoist” them, that is, “blow them at the moon.”
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humpy:
(British
slang) annoyed.
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hypothyroid:
affected
by a deficiency in the activity of the thyroid gland, characterized by a
lowered metabolic rate and general loss of vigor or sluggishness. Used
humorously.
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jig
time, in:
rapidly;
in no time at all.
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jingoist:
extreme
patriotism in the form of aggressive foreign policy. It refers to sections of
the general public who advocate the use of threats of or actual force against
other countries in order to safeguard what they perceive as their country's
national interests. The term comes from the chorus of a song commonly sung in
pubs and music halls at the turn of the twentieth century: We don't want to
fight but by Jingo if we do,
We've got the ships, we've got the men, we've got the money too,
We've fought the Bear before, and while we're Britons true,
The Russians shall not have Constantinople.
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Johns
Hopkins:
Johns
Hopkins University, founded in 1876, located in Baltimore, Maryland, is the
first American research university and is particularly regarded for its
hospital and schools of medicine. Named for Johns Hopkins who left $7 million
in his will for the foundation of the university, it has the stated goal of
“The encouragement of research . . . and the advancement of individual
scholars, who by their excellence will advance the sciences they pursue, and
the society where they dwell.”
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lingua:
any
hybrid language used for communication between different peoples.
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log
table:
a
table of common logarithms. A logarithm of a given number to a given base is
the power to which you need to raise the base in order to get the number. For
example, the logarithm of 1,000 to the common base 10 is 3 (10 x 10 x 10 =
1,000). Before the invention of calculators, the only alternative to slide
rules was to use tables of logarithms that showed conversions of numbers into
logarithms and vice versa, saving work in laborious calculations by hand on
paper.
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Malory:
Sir
Thomas Malory, English author, wrote Le Morte d'Arthur, one of the most popular
prose romances about the medieval period. The book was the first full-length
book in English about the adventures of King Arthur and the Knights of the
Round Table.
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manumission:
a
formal written act to free slaves.
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manumitting:
releasing
from slavery or servitude.
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Marzo:
the
month of March.
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Mizar:
a
double star (two stars that revolve around each other under their mutual
gravitation) in Ursa Major (the Big Dipper).
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Muses:
(Greek
mythology) any of the nine daughters of Zeus (king of the gods) and Mnemosyne
(goddess of memory), each of whom preside over a different art or science. The
nine Muses and their specialties are traditionally: Calliope (epic poetry),
Clio (history), Erato (love poetry, lyric art), Euterpe (music), Melpomene
(tragedy), Polyhymnia or Polymnia (hymns, sacred songs), Terpsichore (dance),
Thalia (comedy) and Urania (astronomy).
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