Olivia's Curtain Call (6 page)

Chapter Nine

Olivia jumped down off the high-wire.

“Dad, I really ought to go,” she said. “Otherwise I’ll be late.”

Jack looked frustrated. “Can’t we try it just once more? We almost cracked it that last time.”

Tom saw Olivia’s anxious face. “Actually, I think she ought to go.”

Olivia smiled gratefully at Tom. He really did understand.

“You’re right, let’s call it a day,” said Jack. “We’ll try again tomorrow. You go on. I’ll follow in a minute.”

Tom and Olivia walked down the stairs. Some of the pupils they passed looked at her curiously. They guessed she was off to another audition. Suzi Thorne, who was in Year Eleven,
had an older sister who worked for the
Romeo and Juliet
production company. She’d told Suzi that Olivia was being seen for Juliet, and word had spread around the Swan like the flu.

Alicia was pacing in the hallway looking uncharacteristically nervous. “I was just coming to find you, Livy. The taxi is here. Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?”

Olivia shook her head. “No thanks, Gran. Dad offered to come too but I know he’d be more nervous than me. I’m better off on my own.”

“I understand,” said Alicia. “Toni was the same. She couldn’t bear to have anyone with her at auditions. Always said they were a terrible distraction and she felt as if she had to look after them.” She put her hands to Olivia’s face. “Go and sock it to them, Livy.”

“I’ll do my best, Gran.”

“I know you will. Whatever was meant to be will be.”

Olivia raised an eyebrow. “That doesn’t sound like you talking, Gran. I thought you didn’t believe in fate. I thought you believed in making things happen.”

“You know me too well,” said Alicia
lightly, but Olivia could see the tension around her mouth. This wasn’t just any old audition for any old part. It was her third call back. It was now or never. She knew how much it would mean to Alicia to see her daughter’s daughter play Juliet. She wanted to do it: for her mum, her gran and for herself.

“I’d better go,” said Olivia. She looked anxiously up the stairs, hoping her dad would appear. Where was he? It felt important to her that he waved her off. He was bending over backwards to support her, but she still sensed his divided loyalties: if she played Juliet, it was the high-wire act that would suffer.

There was still no sign of him. Well, she couldn’t wait any longer. She checked she had her copy of the play in her rucksack for the hundredth time.

“Good luck,” said Tom, and his hand brushed hers. “I’ll see you later.”

Aeysha, Katie and Georgia had already told her that they were keeping all their fingers and toes crossed for her, and Eel had made a massive good-luck card. Jon hadn’t said anything but they all knew that today was make or break. She couldn’t keep auditioning; pretty soon she
would have performed the entire play.

“I’ll see you later,” said Olivia. Jon had told her that she would be at least  two and a half hours. Tom was coming to meet her at the Clapham rehearsal rooms straight after school. Olivia was grateful. She knew he would say the right thing however the audition went and whether she got it or not. She walked to the car and slid in. She rolled down the window. “Time to go,” she said.

At that moment, Jack raced down the steps. “For a terrible moment I thought I’d missed you,” he said. “Good news! I’ve just heard from one of my French contacts. He’s very interested in our trio. Wants to see a DVD in a couple of weeks with a view to a booking in the summer. Maybe at several festivals, in Holland and Germany as well as France.” Jack’s face was ablaze with excitement.

“That’s great, Dad,” said Olivia, her voice flat. “But remember I might not be available in the summer.”

Jack suddenly looked ashamed. “Of course. Sorry, chick, I was letting myself get carried away.”

Alicia examined them both anxiously. She
so wanted Olivia to play Juliet, but she didn’t think she could bear it if it caused any kind of rift between Jack and his daughter. Whatever happened, it looked as if it was going to be a rocky summer.

“I really must go,” said Olivia. Everyone chorused, “Good luck,” and  Olivia waved frantically as the car pulled away down the street.

Olivia swallowed the potion and collapsed on the bed. She lay there for a few seconds and then opened her eyes. She could see the smiles on the faces of everyone watching the audition. Even Howard Franks was nodding enthusiastically. She noticed Jon wink almost imperceptibly at Tish and Tish smiled back. Then Tish’s phone began to vibrate and she walked to the back of the hall to take the call. Something had changed in the room. For the first time it felt as if everyone was on her side, rooting for her. For a moment she dared to believe that she might be going to play Juliet.

“Thank you, Livy,” said Jon. “That was …” he paused, “… just lovely.” Olivia’s face broke into a smile so winning that even Howard 
Franks smiled back at her.

“Livy, can you just leave us for a moment?” said Jon.

“We won’t keep you long, Olivia,” said Howard Franks, who Olivia now knew was the lead producer, though she still thought of him as “the man with the moustache”. “We just need to discuss––”

Tish had walked up to the table and was making faces at Jon and pointing to her phone. Jon frowned at her. Howard Franks was glaring at Tish. “Is your phone call really more important than the business in hand?” he barked.

Tish turned red. She glanced anxiously at Jon and then at Olivia. She bit her lip.

“Actually, it’s about the business in hand,” she said. She looked worriedly at Olivia again, and then back to Jon, as if she couldn’t make up her mind whether she should say something or not. Everyone was looking at her expectantly.

“Can you hold on?” she hissed into her phone.

“Spit it out, Tish,” said Jon affably.

“It’s Abbie Cardew’s agent, Jon. She’s been trying to get hold of you all afternoon. It’s about Abbie. The
Joan of Arc
movie has been delayed
and won’t start shooting until the new year. It means that Abbie is available. Her agent wants to know if Juliet has been cast yet and, if not, whether you’ll see Abbie. She could come down this afternoon.” She flung another anxious glance at Livy.

“Then let’s see her. Now. Abbie Cardew is a name,” said Howard Franks.

Olivia suddenly felt like somebody who has crawled through a desert in desperate search of water and reached an oasis only to discover it was just a mirage. She knew that Jon and the others had been about to tell her that she’d got the part, that she was going to play Juliet, and now at the last second it had been snatched away from her. She was determined not to cry, even though disappointment was making her throat feel as if someone had put a stone in it and sewn it tight.

Jon stood up suddenly. “Tell Dani I’ll call her straight back,” he told Tish. He walked to the centre of the room where Olivia was standing and took her hand. “I want Olivia to play Juliet,” he said firmly. “Abbie will be good, maybe even great. I’m confident of that. But Olivia has the potential to be superb, a completely glorious
Juliet. Yes, she’s much more of a risk, but theatre would be very dull and boring if we never took risks. I don’t want to direct a production of
Romeo and Juliet
that is just OK, that does decent business and which everyone says is ‘intelligent’ and ‘quite moving’. I want a
Romeo and Juliet
that sweeps people off their feet, makes them angry and fearful, makes them sob in the aisles and rise to their feet at the end, not because they think that’s what they ought to do, but because they can’t stop themselves. An unforgettable
Romeo and Juliet
that passes into legend.

“For that I need Olivia, because when she’s on stage, even in an audition like this, it feels as if every word she says matters and she is giving us a glimpse of her soul.”

There was a small silence after this speech. Tish looked as if she wanted to clap but didn’t dare, so she just beamed broadly instead. Olivia felt as if her insides had melted. She had not realised that Jon had so much faith in her. He really was prepared to risk everything.

“Those were fine words, Jon,” said Howard Franks. “We know you want Olivia to play Juliet, and in the end it’s your choice. You are the
director and I respect that. My concern has never been over Olivia’s acting ability, but over her age and inexperience. She will be under enormous pressure, artistically, emotionally, in every way. She is still a child. Liz is absolutely right – there would be a huge amount of press interest in a fourteen-year-old playing Juliet on the West End stage. That’s great for the production, but can Olivia cope with that level of scrutiny? The question is whether she is sufficiently mature to hold it all together and deliver night after night under intense pressure.”

“I have no doubt she’s ready,” said Jon, and there was a steely tone in his voice.

“OK,” said Howard Franks. “I’m glad you are so confident, Jon, but let’s put her under pressure. We get Abbie down here and let her audition, and we get both of them to play some scenes opposite Kasha. We’ll see what happens. Juliet is Olivia’s to lose, after all.”

He looked into Olivia’s face. “Are you game, Olivia? If you can handle this, the first night, the critics and all the attention should be a doddle.”

Jon opened his mouth to protest, but Olivia raised a hand to stop him. Her heart was thumping madly. She knew this was her make-or-break
moment. If she said no she would be proving that she was vulnerable under pressure, but if she said yes she knew that she was going to have to give the performance of her life opposite Kasha. Abbie had loads of experience and more than three years on her. Abbie was always going to be the safe bet. But she wanted Juliet so much, and she knew that she was in with a fighting chance. She felt that most people in the room would be willing her to pull it off. And she could do it! She knew that she could. Maybe Kasha had been right and it was her destiny to play Juliet. She nodded. Howard Franks smiled, pleased at her decision.

“I believe in you, Livy,” said Jon. “I’ll get Abbie down here immediately.  Tish, go and keep Kasha out of the way. I don’t want him knowing what’s going on. Let’s get this show on the road.”

Chapter Ten

Olivia continued to the end of the speech and then fell silent. She was giddy with emotion. She tried to collect herself. She wondered whether she had let feeling run away with her and had badly neglected her technique. She hardly dared to look up in case she saw disappointment in their faces. But when she lifted her eyes, she knew that she hadn’t disgraced herself; in fact, she saw something new in their eyes, something akin to amazement.

Olivia clenched her fists. Abbie had already performed the same speech, but Olivia knew from the reaction she’d just received that she was still in the running, perhaps she had even inched ahead a little. It was so strange being up against Abbie, who had been so kind to her when she’d first come to the Swan. It was hard going head to head with someone she liked so much.

But that was how it was, and she just had to forget who it was she was up against. All that was left for the two of them to do was perform the balcony scene with Kasha. Olivia knew it would be a real test. She and Kasha had already performed the scene together, so there would be no element of surprise when he turned and saw her on the balcony. But he would be truly astonished when he saw Abbie, and genuinely delighted too. Kasha and Abbie were in love. They both knew how it felt. Olivia could only imagine what it would be like to feel so intensely that she was prepared to risk everything for a boy she had only just met. It was going to be really difficult to be able to match Abbie in the scene.

Jon’s voice suddenly broke into her
thoughts. “Thanks, Livy. Can you wait in the kitchen, please?”

Olivia walked out of the room and into the kitchen that if anything seemed grimier than ever. There were several more cartons of
gone-off
milk, and spilled coffee was smeared all over one of the surfaces. She walked to the tap and began to wash a glass so she could have a drink of water. She heard a tapping on the window and whirled round to see Kasha’s face peering in at her. She went over and opened the window.

“What’s going on, Livy?” he asked urgently. “I’ve just seen Abbie. What’s she doing here? I’ve tried texting her but she’s not replying.”

Olivia shook her head. “I can’t tell you,” she said.

Kasha’s eyes were huge. “She’s up for Juliet, isn’t she? Something’s happened with the movie. It must have done if she’s here.”

“I can’t say, Kash,” said Olivia helplessly. “You’ll know soon enough.”

He saw her strained face. “Oh, Livy, I’m sorry, this must be awful for you. I was pretty certain that today was just a formality, but if Abbie’s here everything must have changed.”

Olivia swallowed hard and nodded. Kasha
put his head in his hands. “And I’m going to have to go out there and act opposite both of you; the girl who has been such an amazing friend to me, even when I haven’t deserved a friend, and the girl who I love, knowing that only one of them can get the role.” He sighed. “If only this had happened weeks ago – Abbie would have got the role and we could be spending every day together!”

Kasha saw Olivia’s stricken face. “Oh, I’m sorry, Livy. I’m putting you in an impossible position. I’d better just go.” He turned to leave and then swung back. “I promise you, Livy. I’m going to act my very best when I do the scene with both of you. I cross my heart that I won’t do anything to favour Abbie over you. You really deserve your chance.”

With that he disappeared. But Olivia stayed as if frozen, standing at the open window. She suddenly felt very sick. She hadn’t been thinking about all the implications. If she won the role of Juliet, she would be denying Kasha and Abbie the one chance they had to be together, away from the scrutiny of their families. Could she do that to her friends? For them there was so much more at stake than just a leading
part in a play.

Olivia’s heart was racing. She leaned out of the window and gulped in the  cool air. She’d never wanted anything as much as she wanted Juliet. She moved back to the seat and sat there, statue-like, as she tried to contain her conflicting thoughts and work out what she should do.

Olivia stood on the balcony. Just as he had done at the very first audition, Kasha entered the room walking backwards and turned and saw her. Olivia sensed that Kasha was really keyed up, but he was putting his fretful restlessness to good use in performance. This time, Romeo had a coiled tension to him, and showed a real sense of confusion as if he were genuinely astonished by love. Olivia found it easy to play off Kasha’s nervy energy, digging deep into her own complex feelings to portray a young girl on the verge of making a momentous decision that would change the course of her life. She
was
Juliet. She tingled all over as if somebody had scraped off an entire layer of her skin.

Romeo spoke, responding to Juliet’s fears about the risk he was taking to see her.

Olivia stared at him, white-faced. It felt as if time had stood still. In an instant she recalled the threat left on the window of Kasha’s car, the despair in his voice when he talked about being kept apart from Abbie by family loyalties, and the grateful thanks they had given her after the invitation to Jack’s party had won them some snatched precious moments together. She knew what she must do, what she had to do.

She spoke:

She said it with such intensity that Jon leaned forward, suddenly aware that something had shifted in her performance.

Kasha opened his mouth to speak, but Olivia gave a little cry and took a step backwards away from the balcony. “I can’t do it. I just can’t do it,” she shouted, and she sounded like a
scared child, not like Juliet. Then she turned, scrambled down the ladder and ran for the door of the room.

“Livy! Livy! Come back!” shouted Kasha, but Olivia was gone.

A buzz rose in the room.

“Well,” said Howard Franks. “At least we found out what we needed to. She can’t handle the pressure. Better to know now than on press night.”

“But what a shame!” cried Liz. “There was far more chemistry between her and Kasha than there was with him and Abbie. Both Abbie and Kasha seemed totally inhibited.”

“I agree on both counts,” said Howard Franks. “But we can’t risk a flaky Juliet. Olivia has made our decision for us.” He glanced at Jon, who was sitting very still with a puzzled frown on his face. “We said that the role was Olivia’s to lose, and I’m afraid she’s just lost it. Don’t you agree, Jon?”

Jon nodded. Then he stood up and walked out of the room without saying anything.

Jon found Olivia in the kitchen. She was standing looking out of the window. She turned slowly as he entered. She wasn’t crying, but her
back was so stiff it looked as if you could snap her in two, and her eyes were dark pools of misery. She couldn’t meet his gaze.

“I blew it, didn’t I?” she said.

Jon nodded. “But you don’t need me to tell you that. You know you did, and in the most deliberate and calculated fashion too. I saw, Livy. I saw what you did. You may be able to fool the others, but you can’t fool me. You purposefully threw it away.”

“You can’t be certain,” Olivia whispered, and she felt ashamed that she had disappointed him when he had publicly put so much faith in her. Her mind raced forward to how disappointed her gran would be too. She suddenly felt shell-shocked by the enormity of what she had done. “I’m sorry I let you down.”

“I don’t understand, Livy,” said Jon, shaking his head. “I don’t understand why you did it. I thought that you were desperate to play Juliet?”

“I was,” whispered Olivia.

“Then why? Why did you throw it all away? You only had to get to the end of the scene and the role would have been yours.”

Olivia shook her head. “Maybe it just wasn’t
meant to be; maybe I was never supposed to play Juliet,” she said quietly. “I’ve got to go. I’m so sorry.” Olivia knew she was going to cry and that once she started she might not be able to stop. She had to get away before that happened. She couldn’t bear it if Jon saw her like that, saw how much Juliet had really meant to her and how much it had cost her to give up the role to Abbie.

“Are you sure you’re all right?” asked Jon. “If you wait I could take you back to the Swan.”

“Thanks, Jon, but there’s no need. Tom’ll be waiting for me.” She suddenly had an urgent need to be out of the rehearsal rooms and with Tom instead. An image of his open, freckled face slipped into her head and she almost smiled despite her misery. She picked up her bag and, as she did so, her copy of
Romeo and Juliet
fell on to the floor. When she picked it up, if was almost as if it burned her.

“I guess I won’t be needing this again,” she said with a small choked laugh, and she handed the book to him. “I really am very sorry, Jon.”

The director looked at her. “Me too,” he said.

Olivia left the room, walked towards the
entrance hall and pulled the heavy door open. Jon stared after her. He knew that Olivia hadn’t collapsed under the pressure of the occasion. For some unfathomable reason, she had gifted the role to Abbie.

Olivia walked down the steps of the rehearsal room. Tom was sitting on the bottom step, reading a book. He looked up when he heard her and, seeing her pinched, white face, he leaped to his feet. Olivia fell into his arms and only then did she allow herself to cry.

After a few minutes of just holding Olivia while she sobbed, Tom gently steered her around the side of the rehearsal studios to the bench beneath the kitchen window where they could be away from prying eyes.

“I didn’t get it,” sobbed Olivia. “I didn’t get it.” Saying the words out loud made it real. She hadn’t realised how much it would hurt. Tom didn’t demand that she tell him what happened, he didn’t murmur soothing words, he didn’t tell her that there would be other shows and other roles. He just whispered her name over and over, stroked her hair and held her so tight that despite her desolation it felt oddly like coming home.

Tom stared over Olivia’s shoulder as she wept. He hated to see her in so much pain, but he was shocked by how relieved he’d felt when he’d realised that she wouldn’t be rehearsing day after day with Kasha. He hugged her tighter, ashamed of his selfish reaction when he knew how much playing Juliet meant to his friend.