On A Cold Christmas Eve (7 page)

"Very little, actually," Lucy admitted with a sigh, not wanting to confess her ignorance but unable to hide it, either.  "I was raised in India, which is no great secret."  When Amelia nodded, Lucy continued.  "When I returned, I was barred from society most of the time.  When I was required to attend an event, there were only a limited number of other young ladies that I was permitted to talk to, and almost no men."  She twisted a lace handkerchief in her hands.  "For me, that was strange.  In India, the rules were more relaxed, and I often conversed quite freely with men.  I know I am no longer there, but sometimes, those habits are most difficult to break."

Waving a hand around the room, Lucy tried her best to make Amelia understand her fears.  "I do not fit into this world, not as I should.  I am trying, but even I know that I lack much of what would be required of a duchess."  She didn't want to mention that Adam was far too good, too noble and titled, for a woman like her.  That, Lucy thought, was probably already very evident.  There was no need to state the obvious.

The other woman reached out and patted Lucy's hand, surprising her.  "You told Adam you were a misfit."  Then it was Lucy's turn to nod in agreement.  Could Amelia not see that for herself?  "Do you know that my brother and I are so-called misfits, as well?"

"You?" Lucy gasped in disbelief, not quite believing what she was hearing.  "Surely not!"  The woman before her was poised and confident, a mother and a wife.  She was the kind of woman Lucy aspired to be, the kind of woman the 
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 adored, a true diamond of the first water.

Settling back more comfortably in the chair, Amelia picked up a teacake and nibbled on it thoughtfully.  "Adam and I share the same mother, obviously.  She was Italian and Catholic, two things that are greatly looked down upon by the 
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.  When she died young, our father married a proper English lass."  Putting the cake down, Amelia leaned forward to take Lucy's hands in her own.  "That woman was Archibald's mother, and she favored him over us, including when we were out in society.  Had she been able to manage it, she would have found a way for Archibald to move ahead of Adam as next in line for the dukedom."

"And your father?"  Lucy was beginning to suspect this family's life was as tangled as her own.  For some reason, that gave her heart a little more hope that she wouldn't fail Adam.

"He would have given his second wife anything she wanted," Amelia confessed sadly, as if it pained her to say the words, "but that he could not give her.  It created great animosity between Archibald and the two of us.  Our brother has always seen himself as better than we are because of what he referred to as our tainted blood."

Lucy snorted, her disgust evident.  "I am well familiar with that term."  If she never heard it again, it would be too soon.

Amelia gave her a sly smile.  "I thought you might be.  That taint made it difficult for me to find a husband.  For Adam, while he would never suffer the cut direct, it has caused many tales to be told about him.  His temper, his sexual tastes, and what not.  Do not think that just because he is my brother than I am unaware of the tales people tell about him."

"I had heard those same things in the few drawing room parties I was able to attend," Lucy confessed, liking Amelia more and more by the minute, "though I never believed them."  She was not about to tell Adam's sister that she had actually heard a great deal more about his bedroom preferences than she suspected even Amelia was aware.

"Why not?"  There was a look in Amelia's eyes that Lucy couldn't interpret, nor did she even want to try.  What was the use?  There was no reason to hide anything from this woman who was quickly becoming a friend, someone she hoped she could trust.  What Lucy felt for Adam would be common knowledge eventually, and if Amelia knew, well, there was little help for it, not that she suspected it would matter all that much.

Reaching for more tea, Lucy sat back as well, freeing herself from Amelia's grasp.  "Similar stories were told about me.  Men said that I was a loose woman, and other women claimed that I was reckless and angry.  I knew those things were not true, and, while I did not know about your mother, I also came to suspect that those things were not true of Adam either.  He is not that type.  He is too good of a man at heart for those things to be true."

Adam.  It felt so strange to use his Christian name, but, as they were being married tomorrow, Lucy knew she needed to grow accustomed to it.  She would start her new life, become the Duchess of Enwright.  There were other issues to be dealt with, she knew, such as the sleeping arrangements, and there was no doubt that, at some point, Adam would want children, which would require bedding her.  That, however, was for tomorrow, not tonight.  She would think of that later.

Even now, the idea of lying with Adam made Lucy's heart jump and a funny tingle begin in her stomach.  He was so handsome and perfect, and she was, well, not deformed but not pretty either.  She was also under no illusion that Adam loved her.  He was doing this to protect her, and, partly, because he was convinced that no other woman would have him, which Lucy knew was sheer idiocy.  There were plenty of woman in the 
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 who would give anything to warm Adam's bed.  Whether or not they could look the Devil Duke in the eye while doing so was another matter.

When Lucy realized that Amelia hadn't said anything, she continued.  "Sorry.  I was wool gathering."  She prayed that she wasn't blushing too much, not wanting Amelia to know where her thoughts had been.  "Adam's eyes were kind, more so than any man I'd ever met, even in India, very tinged with pain.  I felt a similar pain myself and knew that it was doubtful that he was the cruel, morally corrupt creature they described.  He just simply could not be.  I knew it in my heart."

"So you do not even find him the least bit attractive, at least physically?  You were not attracted to his hair or his eyes or his body, as other women were before you?  It was his pain that truly captured your interest?"  There was a hint of mirth in Amelia's smile, much to Lucy's surprise.  "You would find it a hardship to lie with one such as him, then?"

Lucy was so shocked that she nearly spit out her tea.  "I did not say that!  Adam is the most handsome man I have ever seen and to be with him, well, any woman would count herself lucky!"  Then, realizing what she'd just said, Lucy snapped her mouth shut before adding quietly.  "Not that I am a wanton, but I am female, and he is rather pleasing to look at."  Oh, Lord, how much did the other woman suspect.  Far too much, unless Lucy missed her guess.

That made Amelia chuckle, a rusty sound rather like Adam's laugh that indicated she did not indulge in the emotion frequently enough either.  "I think you will fit in here just fine, Lucy.  And it warms my heart to know that you are attracted to my brother.  I would hate for him to marry someone who thinks him a beast."  Then she rose and gave the other woman a quick hug.  Another surprise on a day full of them.  "I must return to the nursery and attend to my children now, but I did want to let you know that you are among friends now.  Adam and I, as well as Fitz, will not allow any harm to befall you."  Then she pulled back and grinned.  "Not to mention that I think you will make an excellent duchess."

Long after Amelia had gone, Lucy turned the other woman's words over and over in her mind.  Did she truly belong here?  She still wasn't certain, but she was also well aware that she had nowhere else to go.

Then there was the little matter of what she'd told Amelia about her attraction to Adam.  It wasn't a lie, but in two short days, she knew she had to be mad to even think she could love him.  Desire him, certainly, but not love.  Love didn't happen for people like her and certainly not with a man like Adam.  No, this was lust and that was a term she was well familiar with.

It was nothing more.  It could not be.  It was not logical or rational.

Lucy knew that Adam made her heart speed up, and her body tingle.  He made her want to be more, to be worthy of him, and, within the span of a day, he took up far more space in her mind than any man ever had, not that she had much experience in that regard.  While she would never confuse any of that with love, it was more than many of the aristocracy had to build a life upon.

Yet there was much more to Adam than just his physical attractiveness, perfect as that was.

He was kind, not just to her but to his family and the servants as well.  That sort of kindness was rare, a gift to be treasured and not squandered.  He was thoughtful and considerate, as evidenced by the visit from the modiste, and he adored animals.  He celebrated Christmas with cheer and was good and moral.  He was also older than the silly fops she'd met at balls, and while certainly not past his prime, old enough that he should be thinking of the future.

Lucy knew that she was older as well, having languished at her uncle's home in Mayfair for years.  At her age, she was well on the shelf, but that didn't mean she'd ever completely stopped hoping, at least in secret, that one day a man might see some small speck of worth within her.  If she didn't marry Adam, Lucy knew she would never marry, at least not unless it was to someone like Archibald who only wanted her fortune and would merely leave her to rot some place once he attained his goal.

She shivered at how close she had come to that kind of fate.  Over the course of the day, she'd talked with many people, including Adam's men of business, telling them what she knew of the contracts, as well as what unentailed jewels her uncle had sold. That last items she had discussed with Harry Greer, the Bow Street Runner.  Like everyone else she met, she'd found him charming and personable.  In fact, there wasn't one person she'd met at Overlook Hill that she hadn't liked.

Then again, she hadn't met Archibald St. Vincent, and she had a feeling she wouldn't care much for him at all.

Chapter Four

"There now.  That wasn't so terrible, was it?"  Adam was all smiles as he led his new bride into the grand dining room where a small wedding breakfast had been set up among the lush holiday greenery.  He'd explained to Lucy earlier that because his mother had been from Italy, the Enwrights did things slightly differently at Overlook Hill than the rest of society did.

That included several large evergreen trees that were propped up in the corners of numerous rooms, each one decorated with handcrafted baubles and featured candles for lights.  Adam had told her that many in society considered the tradition horribly pagan, but his Italian mother had always had a tree, borrowing the concept from a German family that had lived near hers in Genoa.

Now, as Lucy stood admiring the rather festive-looking tree, her arm linked with Adam's, she had to agree that the entire event, from the wedding to the breakfast, had gone much smoother than she had anticipated.  "No, my lord..." she began but Adam held up a finger.

"It's Adam now, remember?  I am your husband, even if it is only of a few minutes."  There was no real chastisement in his voice she was pleased to note, but rather a playful tone that she found she liked immensely.

"Adam," she agreed, finally allowing herself to relax just a bit.  For the first time since her father had died, Lucy felt a measure of safety and contentment.  She was the Duchess of Enwright now, and that gave her protections she had not enjoyed in the past.  "So what shall we do now?"

Truthfully, Adam wanted to sweep Lucy upstairs and into his bed, just as he had for the last two days, and it was nearly driving him mad.  He wanted to run his hands along her lush curves and tangle his fingers in her hair to see if it really was as silky as it appeared.  He knew she would be tight, as she was still untouched, but he didn't care.  He wanted to lose himself between her thighs and teach her all of the pleasures of the flesh.

In the last few days he'd come to know Lucy rather well and everything he knew, he adored beyond any logical reason.  From the way she could converse intelligently about nearly any subject, to her quick wit and humorous personality, he found himself becoming very enamored of his bride.  It wasn't love, certainly, but it was an intense like, coupled with extreme desire, and, for the moment, he was content with that.

Adam knew that Lucy still considered herself beneath him, but he was certain that she would overcome that notion in time.  In his heart, he knew he couldn't have chosen a more perfect bride if he would have searched the world over.  He simply needed her to see that.  Quite simply, she was the woman he had never thought he would find.

He also needed her to see that he wanted her in his bed.  Badly.  It had been quite some time since he'd been with a woman, but until this moment, he'd been content in his celibacy.  No longer, especially not when he could have his wife in his bed within the hour.

However, he wouldn't.  He hadn't courted Lucy properly, hadn't kissed her or allowed her to grow accustomed to his touch.  In fact, this had all happened so suddenly that he hadn't even noticed that her eyes had a slightly green hue around the edges until he'd seen her in the stunning sapphire gown she'd worn for the wedding.  No, he would bed Lucy in time.  After all, there could be no children without it, but despite her time in India and the freedoms she'd enjoyed there, there was still much she didn't know about men.  He would not rush her, though he did hope that by Twelfth Night, she would be sharing his bed regularly.

"I was thinking we should take a walk," he finally suggested, taking her hand.  It was either that or risk ravishing her here in the hall, in full view of everyone, which wouldn't do at all.  "I know the air is cold, but the rain has stopped, at least for now, and it would be a good time for it.  I'll show you the estate in full later, but for now, I believe the gardens will suffice."