On Agate Hill (6 page)

June 8, 1872

Dear Diary,

Washington and me got to beat out the parlor carpet with sticks, it was a lot of fun. This was Fannies favorite, blue with a gold fleur-de-lee. Dust flew everywhere. You like that dont you Molly? Selena said as we whacked away and this was true but I would not give her the satisfaction of saying it.

What? I pretended I could not hear.

June 14, 1872

Real Hot

Dear Diary,

Today when we got done housecleaning Selena rared back and said, Well you all have done a good job. Now why dont you go down to the river and cool off some. So Washington and me took little Junius and Victoria and Blanche and Godfrey fishing. Spence came too.

I have not yet written of Spence, though I see him nearly every day and wonder,
What will happen to him?
What can I say about Spence. He is still young, not yet thirty-five but looks younger still for his face is as blank and fair as the moon. He is a great big man, almost as big as Uncle Junius but not thin, for he will eat anything and he will eat until you take the plate away. In fact once you get Spence to doing anything, he will do it until you get him to stop, and sometimes this is not easy. This is why he was so good at war. And this is also why he is such a good fieldworker and why Romulus is the best sharecropper around here with Spence helping him. Spence loves Rom, they were raised together. Spence loved his older brother Lewis too beyond all measure, they went to the war together and did all things as one until Lewis was killed as they ran across that rocky field to the stone wall together, Spence made it and fought on until Petersburg where he was a hero then presumed dead until some men that knew Uncle Junius found him wandering
in the countryside near Raleigh in a confused state of mind and brought him back here to Agate Hill where all had mourned and had already got over mourning his death. Yet here he came smooth-faced as a stone, and like a stone he has not hardly spoken since, though as Aunt Fannie always said, His face is benevolent, like the sun. And Spence loves to fish, he has fished in the Haw ever since he was a little boy.

So here we set off walking down the dusty road under the bright blue sky with Washington in front and Godfrey running circles all around him, then Victoria and Blanche then me holding little Junius hand, then Spence behind us all, like a tree walking. He carried the cane poles over his shoulder.

It felt like a parade.

Then we went off the road on a little path and climbed down the weedy hill with Blanche and Victoria whining. We went through joe pie weed bigger than us and blackberry bushes that scratched at our legs. The berries were not ripe yet. Watch out for snakes now, Washington said, and the girls screamed. Little Junius held tight to my hand. Finally we reached the shady, grassy bank of the river where all of a sudden it was a lot cooler.

Spread out some now, Washington said.

One by one Spence put worms on the girls hooks and then on Godfreys hook while Washington and me did our own.
Ooh ooh.
Godfrey yelled and hopped on one foot when his worm bled.

Hush now, Washington said. You will scare the fish.

Fish aint got ears, Godfrey said.

Sure they do, Washington said. Everybody knows that. They just real little ears. Aint that right Molly.

Yes, I said.

Not, Godfrey said.

Shut up Godfrey, Victoria said.

Little Junius did not want to fish so we sat down on a mossy log where our feet could hang in the water and I trailed my line from there, watching the sun and shade and the little fish playing in the shallows beside us. It was a
real nice day. The willows made a curtain where we were. Washington caught two fish, little ones, and put them in the bucket. Victoria got a bite but lost it, and Blanche lost her worm. Godfrey put worms on everybodys hooks because he liked to see them bleed. He is built like a bullet with blond hair like Mister Vogell his daddy. The breeze ruffled the willows like curtains at a window. I saw a shiny snake on a rock in the water near the opposite bank but before I could say a thing, it was gone as suddenly as if it had never been there. Finally Junius let go of my hand and sat down in the water to play. Blanche and Victoria each caught a fish and Blanche fell in the water and then Victoria and me got in too, just splashing. We got to building a dam. Washington went up a ways and caught another fish.

Why where is Spence? I asked all of a sudden, looking around. For he was gone.

Just you wait
. Washington grinned at me.

And sure enough after a while we heard a lot of splashing and here came Spence walking around the bend hip deep in the middle of the river carrying a great big fish in his arms and grinning to beat the band.

Did he get that on
this
line? I asked Washington, for our hooks were little, made out of pins we had best not lose.

No, he been hand grabbing, Washington said. Thats how he always fish.

But what is it, I asked.

That is when you reach way down under a rock or a old log or a stump and grab the fish right up out of the water, Washington told me. A big old dead stump is the best. They like to hide down in there, they get real old and fat. Its like they house in there.

Spence waded over and laid his fish on the mossy bank so we could all get close and look at it. It was a huge slimy old catfish bigger than a baby with its head all bloody and smashed in though I could still see its whiskers. Its eyes were wide open.

Ooh ooh. What happened to its head? Godfrey screamed.

Well, he have to kill it some way or nother, Washington said. I reckon he kilt it with a rock, aint that right, Spence?

But Spence just grinned. He had blood on his shirt and his pants.

It was the King of the Catfish.

We all gathered round to admire it for a while.

Liddys going to want to cook this fish, I said.

But nobody moved. Nobody wanted to leave the river.

Then, Oh Lord, Mama is going to kill us, we have got to wash off some, Victoria said all of a sudden and we all set to splashing again and washing off in the river as good as we could except for Washington who had never got into the river at all.

Our pail held seven brim. We took turns carrying it, and after a while it wasn’t too heavy since most of the water splashed out on the road. Spence carried little Junius who was too tired to walk, while Washington carried the fish, walking in front of us.

Lord God! Liddy said when she saw us coming. She stood in the doorway, shading her eyes with her hand.

June 18, 1872

Dear Diary,

Yesterday I left this cubbyhole in the late afternoon during a thunderstorm. I paused at the closet door to get my bearings. The girls bedroom was dark with rain beating hard as bullets on the roof.

But there in the gloom I spied Selena standing in front of the mirror, holding that white ruffled petticoat of Mammas up to her waist. While I watched she took a little step backward and bowed her head, like a curtsy. When the lightning flashed I could see her face which looked heartbroken to my surprise, sad and not mean for once though I know she is mean, she whipped Blanche and Victoria for going in the river, and would of whipped me too if she thought she could get away with it.

I hid in the closet until she left.

June 21, 1872

Dear Diary,

At last the day of Aunt Cecelias arrival has come. Virgil took the wagon out before dawn, headed to Hillsborough, he was gone when I got up. But oh what a hustle and bustle was still going on, for now all must be perfect. Uncle Junius hates an uproar. He had disappeared into the middle room where he hides from all, door closed. It was a foggy dewy morning with all the birds tuned up as I stepped out of Liddys kitchen, heading off to find Washington. But Selena grabbed me by the back of the skirt.

Not so fast there Miss, she said. I need you to go back in the house and help Victoria. Here, take this. She handed me a cloth and an Irish potato cut in half. I knew what that meant.
Go on,
she said giving me a boost in the direction of the house, away from my beloved woods which were calling out to me. The dewy wet grass tickled between my toes. But it was not the day to make a fuss so I went on into the passage and back to the dining room which is used almost never now since Fannie died.

This morning it was dim and gloomy as the light ventured but feebly in through the dark leaded panes to show the drop leaf table by the door and the huge old sideboard looming as big as a boat, filled with china and God knows what all, all the things ladies have which I will NEVER have, I swear it, and so much the better. For if you have things, why then you have to take care of them, I have noticed this all ready. On top of the sideboard stand the china statues of a lady and a gentleman plus the cranberry glass vase, some cut glass decanters, and the silver filigree cake basket which was buried in the garden when the Yankees came. The table itself is a huge dark mahogany thing that pulls out and out to accommodate a crowd. Victoria prissed around it placing the linen mats and the silver.

I hate Victoria. She is like some accident that has happened to me. I cant believe I have to see her all the time.

Those mats need ironing, I said, which was true. Aunt Fannie would have had a fit.

What do I care? she said. I aint going to eat here. Mama said for you to clean these — and she threw the ivory-handled table knives out on the table with a clanging noise.

I know, Miss Smartypants.
I said this part under my breath. I pulled up a chair and spread out my cloth and rubbed the steel blades one by one with brick dust and the cut side of the Irish potato until they shone. Victoria grabbed them up so fast she nicked my hand with one of the blades. At first I didnt understand what had happened, it felt like a pin prick. But then I looked down to see the blood blooming like a flower from my thumb. Then it hurt. Without thinking I stood and flung the brick bat straight at her, it hit her shoulder and struck the floor.

Immediately I was seized from behind by Selena who shook me until my teeth rattled in my head and I could not see for crying.

I am such a baby.

There now Miss, she said, finally letting me go but I was too wobbly-legged to stand, sinking down to the floor while the two of them finished setting the table. I did not want to look at their hateful faces so I did not move. I rubbed my cheek back and forth on the bristly fleur-de-lee carpet until it hurt and somehow that helped me. I remembered beating that carpet out in the yard with Washington only a week before, in the sunshine, it seemed like ages ago.

Come on now Molly, we are done, Selena said, but I said nothing and stayed where I was. As you wish then, she said, and then she was gone, Victoria with her.

Suddenly I noticed the table foot right in front of me, a huge mahogany claw that had seized a mahogany ball. Its talons were big and sharp. They scared me oh I am such a baby. I stood up fast. In the little slit of the curtains I noted that the sun had broke through outside. I was dying to get out there. But first I looked back down at the table, thinking,
It is like this house, it looks so fancy and fine but it is all ugly underneath, it is that mean
cruel claw.