On Her Master's Secret Service (4 page)

How was he almost forty and single, with no prospect of a family on the horizon?

A ghostly image on the wall answered the question. The lights were on, but he could still see Michael Evans grinning at the camera.

He couldn’t fix his problems with Eve. He’d ruined her life. He’d been directly responsible for all that pain. Days. She’d spent days with that monster, and Alex would spend a lifetime trying to make it up to her.

Ian’s voice broke through his thoughts. “I wasn’t talking about going after Evans. I was talking about leaving Eve out of it.”

Alex felt his eyes go wide. “You can’t possibly expect that I would bring Eve into this. You of all people should know how dangerous it is to have your wife involved in a case.”

He wanted to take the words back the instant he said them. Ian didn’t move an inch. There was nothing in his stance that let Alex know he’d hit him hard except his skin paled. They never talked about the woman Ian had married and lost five years before.

“Charlotte has nothing to do with this. And she was always involved in that particular case. Hell, I
was
her case, and she did a spectacular fucking job. I laugh a little at the irony since her job was to fuck me. Charlotte married me knowing exactly how dangerous the job was, and she got burned. Eve, on the other hand, was perfectly innocent. If anyone deserves revenge, it’s Eve, and you want to take that from her now, too.”

Alex placed his hands on the conference table, palms down, just trying to hold on. “How can you say that? I was her husband. It was my job to protect her.”

“And you couldn’t possibly have known that the man you were tracking would come after your wife.” Logic. Ian loved to come after him with logic, but Alex knew the truth.

He should have fucking known. He should have read Eve’s damn case study, but he’d been so sure that he was right, that he couldn’t possibly be wrong. “Yeah, well, if I’d paid any attention to Eve’s profile, I would have. She knew. But I was far too smart. I thought I had the fucker down.”

“And you didn’t,” Ian agreed. “And Eve paid the price and she continues to pay it every single day because neither one of you can let go for a second.”

“If putting Michael Evans back where he belongs gives her a minute of peace, I’m going to do it. I’m her husband. I have to do this for her.”

Ian shook his head, his eyes grim. “You’re not her husband anymore, Alex.”

“Fine, then I’m her Dom.”

“Are you? You don’t act like it.”

Alex felt his back get tight, like a dog that just figured out he was about to get kicked. “Wow. Do you have something to say to me? Don’t fucking pussyfoot around, brother. You want to call my rights into question? You want to take a look at my contract?”

He hated the fact that all he had left with Eve was a cold contract between them, one they’d renewed every year for five years now. Ian knew damn well what was in that contract because he was the one Eve had turned to when she’d asked for it. A contract that delineated everything he was allowed to do, everything he couldn’t do, everything that sat between them. A contract that allowed sex but not love, discipline but no compassion.

Life without the possibility of parole.

“That contract is everything that’s wrong between you and yet you just keep signing it, man.”

Because if he didn’t, he was pretty sure Eve would drift away from him, perhaps even find another Dom. He couldn’t handle it. Just fucking couldn’t. He would very likely sign that contract for the rest of his life because no matter how angry he got, how alone he felt, he couldn’t live without her. “She needs to scene. It’s the only way she can cry. Do you think I haven’t been over this with her? Do you think she hasn’t been to therapy?”

His wife—ex-wife—was a brilliant psychologist. She’d done her time on a couch.

Guilt plagued him. He hadn’t taken the same time. Before the divorce, he’d cut out on counseling sessions, skipped on her dinners, spent nights away from home, and all in the name of catching Michael Evans.

“I know she’s been, but it hasn’t helped. Oh, Eve looks fine on the outside, but she hasn’t gotten back to her old self. She laughs, but it never reaches her eyes. She’ll let people hug her, but she doesn’t hug back. God, Alex, I remember when Eve was the touchiest,
feeliest
sub I’d ever met.”

“He raped her. He abused her. She can’t go back,” Alex said. “We can’t go back.”

“Then Evans wins. He did his job, and you should just hang it the fuck up. Why bother hunting the man down? You’re already dead. You just forgot to tell us to bury the fucking body, man.”

He thought seriously about putting his hands around his best friend’s throat, but he backed off. Ian couldn’t understand. None of them could. He should have done what he’d thought was best in the first place and just handled it on his own. “Whatever. I’m going to get ready to meet the contact.”

“You’re not going without backup. Take Jake and Adam and that’s an order.”

But Ian had forgotten one tiny truth. “You’re not my boss. You’re not my CO, and if you want me to walk, this is the way to get it done.”

He started for the door. There wasn’t anything left to say.

“Alex, please take Jake and Adam.”

Fuck.
Ian almost never asked politely. “I can’t. If she spooks easily, I’ll lose the chance.”

“All right. Don’t you dare go in unarmed.”

Like he would do that. “I’m good.”

“Alex?”

When the fuck had Ian gotten so chatty? “Yeah?”

“She needs you. She needs you to be her Dom more than she needs someone to avenge her. She needs you to take the reins because she can’t let go of this on her own. She needs her husband.”

But he wasn’t her husband anymore. He was her part-time lover and full-time therapy session. He wondered if she even saw him now or if all she saw was how he’d failed her time and time again. Alex let the door close behind him.

Revenge was all he had left.

* * * *

Eve stopped at the front desk. Grace wasn’t around, but there was a massive bouquet of flowers taking up most of the space. Gorgeous calla lilies.

Eve whistled a little. Those must have cost a fortune. What the hell had Sean done?

And then she saw there was a card attached.

Ian Taggart

She rolled her eyes. Some sub was trying to get in good with the Master. Whoever it was, they were barking up the wrong tree. Flowers wouldn’t impress Ian. No. If you wanted to impress Ian Taggart, you better have a six-pack in your hand or a shiny new gun.

Those poor subs at Sanctum didn’t really have a chance with Ian. He needed a woman who could physically put him on his ass. She was pretty sure that was the only way to bring down the man. A woman who could outthink him, out manipulate him, outplay him. That was the only way to nab Big Tag.

“Eve, I thought you were going to breakfast with Liam.” Alex stood in the doorway of the conference room. His eyes widened on her, and he shifted the stack of folders from one hand to another.

And immediately Eve was suspicious. “I had some reports to file and some personality profiles to complete. Ian’s looking to hire some office personnel. Li is coming to pick me up in about twenty minutes.”

Alex nodded. “That’s good. Traffic is rough right now.”

Traffic was always miserable, but even if it had been light, she knew Alex would rather someone drove her. Not because she wasn’t a good driver, but Alex preferred that someone watch over her.

It just couldn’t be him.

Because she was stubborn and couldn’t find a way out of the corner she’d put them both in.
 

He stood there staring at her. When he looked at her like that, like she was the only woman in the whole world, she wanted to walk into his arms and pretend like the last six years hadn’t happened.

“Was there a meeting I didn’t know about?” She tried to catch a glimpse of the name on his folders, but they were blank.

He moved them, sliding them under his arm. “I wanted to go over a few things with Ian. Just bouncing around some ideas I have on an open job.”

Work. They could talk about work. Sometimes she suspected they both came up with the thinnest of reasons to ask each other for advice. At least she knew she did. It was an excuse to be in the same room with him.

Do you need an excuse? You said you needed time. He gave you time. How long can this go on?

“Do you want to run it by me?”

He shook his head. “No. I think I can handle this one. What the hell did Sean do?”

He stepped up and looked at the flowers.

“They’re not for Grace,” she said.

“Phoebe? Phoebe is dating someone? Phoebe barely talks. I can’t imagine her dating someone.”

Phoebe Graham was the accounting girl. She typically hid in her office. She was terrified every time she found herself in a room with Ian or Alex. Sometimes Eve thought the only reason Phoebe had taken the job was because Ian had told her she was hired and she was afraid of not showing up for work. “Nope.”

Alex’s eyes narrowed. “Someone’s sending you flowers?”

Well, she was the only other woman in the office. It was a decent bet. “No. They’re for Ian.”

Alex laughed a little, his shoulders relaxing. “Should have sent him a six-pack.” He walked over and his free hand briefly touched the blooms. “They remind me of our wedding. We had white flowers, too.”

They had been all over the church. She’d stood at the end of the aisle and looked up. Alex and Ian and Sean had been giant predators dropped into a dainty white garden. She’d been so proud, so fascinated with her groom.

God, she still was.

Alex McKay was still the most beautiful man she’d ever seen. And lately, it was so much easier to forget all the reasons she had for keeping her emotional distance from him.

Unfortunately, she remembered another incident where she’d received white flowers. “I don’t like them now. They remind me of my hospital room.”

He’d filled her hospital room with white flowers, giving her gifts, but turning away from her.

“Eve,” Alex began. He cleared his throat. “I’ll make sure Ian gets them, though he’ll probably just throw them out.”

He picked up the vase and card, juggling them with his file folders.

“Do you want me to take the folders?”

He backed up. “No. I’m fine. You have a good time with Liam. Speak of the devil. Hey, man, how’s it going?”

She turned and sure enough, Liam O’Donnell was walking up behind her. He nodded Alex’s way. “Morning.
Evie
, are you ready to go?”

She nodded as she watched Alex struggle with everything he was carrying, but she didn’t offer to help again. He would just say no. He would rather drop everything than admit he needed help. She sighed and turned to Liam.

Twenty minutes later, Eve looked at Avery and wondered if she’d ever been that young and in love. Though Avery was only ten years younger, that was just a number. Avery’s innocence couldn’t be measured by years. It went deep into her soul. Avery had lost everything at a young age and still her eyes were bright as she turned to her husband.

She often wondered how Avery would have handled being in Eve’s position. Avery wouldn’t have broken the way Eve had. Avery likely would have walked away with a bruised body, but with her heart still capable of love. Avery, it seemed to Eve, was indestructible.

Eve was deeply aware of how fragile her own soul was.

“I want pancakes.” Avery set down the menu she’d been studying.

“You always want pancakes, girl.
Ya
never try anything else. Why do you waste your time looking at the menu?” Liam’s voice was gruff, but his eyes were lit with laughter. He loved his wife. The connection between them was a palpable thing. Li winked Eve’s way as he set down his own menu. “What about you, love? Are you trying something different?”

She never tried anything different. “No. I’ll stick with what I know.”

Half a grapefruit, two scrambled egg whites, whole-wheat toast, no butter. No indulgences for Eve St. James. Discipline. It was what her life had become. And now she could fit into those designer dresses that had been out of reach all those years ago because Alex liked to stuff her with chocolate and rich foods. He used to order in from the most decadent of restaurants and feed her while she sat in his lap and they cuddled.

“Order for me, will you?” Liam was pulling out his phone, checking the screen. “I have to take this. And for god’s sake, woman, order your own bacon this time. You always say you won’t eat it and then you steal mine.”

He brushed his lips across his wife’s as he scooted from the booth.

The waitress chose that moment to take the orders and refresh their coffee. When she was gone, Eve forced a smile on her face. Coffee. Her only real indulgence, well, besides all the BDSM and the soulless sex.

“How are you feeling?”

Avery smiled. “Good. This is actually a far easier pregnancy than my
Maddie
.”

Eve froze. Madison. Avery’s child. The one who died.

Avery’s hand came out, covering Eve’s. “It’s all right.”

That summed up Avery to a
T
. Avery had lost a child and she reached out to comfort Eve. Eve pulled back, reaching for her coffee mug. “I’m sorry. I’m always a little shocked that you can speak about her so easily.”

Loss was something to be hidden. God, she was glad she wasn’t her own patient.

Avery just gave her a gentle smile. “I miss my baby every day, but it would be wrong to pretend she didn’t exist. Do you know what Liam gave me as a housewarming gift when we bought our place here?”

She hadn’t been to their big house in North Dallas. She hated that part of town because it reminded her so much of the sleepy, upscale Virginia neighborhood she and Alex had moved into once they could afford it. Those houses were all lovely, with signs of life and children on every lawn. An overturned bike here, a massive fort there, a man washing his prized car in the driveway.

Her apartment was sterile. Lovely, but sterile. Rather like herself.

She shook her head. “No, but I suspect it wasn’t a houseplant.”