On Solid Ground: Sequel to in Too Deep (44 page)

“I may or may not have given Sam a few small details about that day.”

“Jake!” I rolled to my side and smacked him on his arm.

“Ow. Sorry.” I shook my head, but smiled at the same time. After all we’d been through since last semester, I wasn’t about to make a big deal about his admission of being a blabbermouth.

“Where do you picture us in five years?” I thought back to the advice our new friend Sarah gave us at the festival. I wondered what stage of our relationship Jake saw when he thought that far into the future. I smiled at his squinting face.

He smiled back. “We playing Buckshot?” Jake closed his eyes and turned his face back up to the sun.

I watched him a little bit longer before I did the same. “No. I just wondered.” I almost said, “never mind” out of guilt for putting him on the spot, but I bit my tongue and just waited for him to answer. Being on the spot wouldn’t kill him.

“Well, I see us getting ready for work together.” He squeezed my hand.

“What am I wearing?” I peeked over at him and saw him smile and shake his head.

“You have on one of my dress shirts, and one of my ties is loosely hanging around your neck. Your hair is up in a bun...oh wait, you just took the hair band out and shook your head around, real slow like.”

“Jake! What the hell kind of job do I have if I wear your clothes to work?”

“Oh, not all my clothes. You just wear my shirts and ties. You don’t wear pants.”

“Jake!”

“Okay, okay. We live in a small apartment, like the upstairs of a duplex. It’s so small, maybe our street address has a ½ in it, like 12 ½ Grant Street. We don’t have a lot of furniture or fancy things, but it’s a cozy little place. Oh, and we have a dog.”

“I want a cat.”

“But our dog hates cats.”

“Jake.”

“All right, our dog is tolerant of cats, so you can have one.”

“Where do we work?”

“We quit our jobs so we could have sex all day.”

“Jacob Andrew Rockwell!”

“Hey, it’s your fault. You don’t wear any pants!”

I growled and slapped him in the happy trail. He grunted and rolled over to his side and propped himself up on one elbow. I scooted closer to him so I was laying in the shadow he cast, looking up into his beautiful face.

“Gracie, I don’t know where we’ll live in five years. Who knows what kind of jobs we’ll have or where we’ll live. All I care about is that we’re together.”

“You think you’ll still like me in five years? You won’t be sick of me?”

“I’ll keep you around as long as your cat doesn’t shit all over our house.”

I gave him a sideways glance and a disapproving smirk. “So, in five years, we’ll be going on twenty-seven. Wow. That’s almost thirty. My mom had me when she was twenty-six.”

“Yeah, I think my mom was around the same age, too. But you know what Sarah said.”

I was surprised he remembered that conversation, but more impressed that he even remembered her name.

“That was good advice. She was sweet.”

“As much as I hope to be a dad someday, I cannot imagine sharing you with anyone.”

“I think that parenting thing is overrated anyway, don’t you? I mean, kids are cute and all, but they don’t sleep, they stink, and they barf...
a lot!
” I really did want kids, but keeping the playful banter was way more fun at the moment.

“Wow. Tell me how you really feel.” Jake laughed and nuzzled his face into my neck.

“I babysat a lot when I was growing up. I love kids. I want to have kids. But not any time soon. Not even in five years. Besides, I would have to get super fat and have hemorrhoids and cankles. No thanks. On second thought, could we adopt?”

“Aw, but we’d make cute babies. Besides, I think somewhere in the wedding vows, it says I have to love you even with hemorrhoids and cankles.” He grimaced when he said it. My heart skipped a beat.

“Wedding? You want to be married in five years?”

“Gracie, I would marry you tomorrow.”

“Jake.”

“You don’t want to marry me?” He pushed his lip out like a pouting little boy.

“Of course I do, Jake. It just takes my breath away when you say it.”

I curled up into his bare chest. The small triangles of red fabric that held my breasts stuck to the suntan lotion he so liberally applied to his front before we laid down. Jake rubbed my bare back with his soft hands and rested his chin on the top of my head.

“Every time I’ve seen you perform, you’ve grown as an artist. I know this is all new to you, but this is something you should consider pursuing. When I saw you play that expensive Martin at The Garage, I knew there was something inside of you just begging to come out. What you did on stage the other night at
Mitchell’s
was unbelievable. All the bartenders stopped what they were doing as soon as you let the song take a hold of your heart. When you let your guard down and just be...Gracie, it is indescribable. This opportunity to play at
Mitchell’s
every week is amazing. Tonight’s your big night! It’s all you, baby girl”

“It’s really a big deal, Jake. It’s not just a couple songs; it’s like the whole night.”

“All rock stars get the jitters.”

“What if I choke?”

“Gracie, Calon is a genius. He has given you everything you need to soar. You’ve got to trust your talent. And trust me as an audience member, the goosebumps that spread through the bar the last time you sang were in the millions.”

“It feels a little easier each time I try it. But I’m going to start playing more of my own stuff, not all cover music. Now, it’s not just performing, it’s creating, too.”

Jake pressed my lower back into his hips, and I could feel all this emotion, not to mention the heat of the sun and our scantily clad bodies, were giving him an ache he wanted to release. I looked up at him just as he leaned down to kiss me. My top leg slid between his, and he squeezed it with his thighs. His tongue slowly tasted me.

He rolled me to my back, and his hands were in my hair. His groin pressed so hard into my hip bone, I was sure it had to hurt, but the next moment, he pressed a little harder. I gasped for air as he kissed a line from my jaw to my collarbone. I reminded myself we were in public. The way he made me feel pushed the rest of the world far away. He cupped my breast on top of the fabric, which showed restraint on his part. My nipples begged for attention, wanting him to slide a finger under the triangle that kept his skin from touching mine.

He reached down and grabbed the bottom corner of our blanket and pulled it up over me. I was about to fling in off because it was making me hot when his hand disappeared under it and onto my belly. His pinky finger slid under the edge of my bikini bottoms, and he dragged his hand across from hip bone to hip bone. He brushed his hand over the triangle of red in the space between my thighs but stopped on the top of my leg. I was breathless. What he did to my body was worth the risk of getting caught. I was already throbbing.

He slid his hand under the red triangle of my bottoms and his fingers went right to the slick skin that begged for attention.

“God, Jake.” My words were barely a whisper.

“Shhh. I can’t take it. I have to touch you.”

He rubbed me in tiny circles, so slowly, I could barely contain myself. I bit my lip in a last ditch effort to not cry out and beg for more. My hips pressed up and down begging for more. He let out a growl and squeezed me so tight with his hand beneath my shoulders, I could barely breathe. He stopped moving completely, and for a second I thought we were caught.

“We need to stop. Let’s go back to my place. And we need to hurry.”

****

The basement at
Mitchell’s
filled faster than I ever remember it filling. I even heard someone say there was a line of people on the sidewalk, waiting to get in. That’s when I remembered, not only was it my first big night, it was the culmination of the poetry seminar. There had been so much going on, I’d never even checked Daniel’s website to see where everyone else’s performances were. Sudden panic ran through me that my performance project could be so far off the mark from what any of the rest of them did. Then I realized, I didn’t care. I wouldn’t let three measly credits get me all worked up.

I sat at the bar and watched my sexy Jake make drinks and slide tips from the bar while I waited to get the okay from Buzz. Jake slid a couple shots my way to calm my nerves. But I wasn’t sure if I was nervous or if it was just the remaining butterflies from what happened when we’d gotten to Jake’s apartment earlier. Like he could read my mind, Jake flashed me a devilish grin and winked.

I spun on my stool and looked around. I saw Daniel in a booth with a couple of the students from the seminar. There were people I’d danced with, sang into beer bottles with, and people I just knew as the guy or girl from
Mitchell’s
. But one of the coolest things about performing at
Mitchell’s
was it already felt like home. So much of my story happened in the room I now poured my heart into.

We’d all danced and sung as Alternate Tragedy took us through decades of rock in the basement, Jake and I had claimed “Fallen” as our song, Noah had dragged me out against my will, Calon had heard me sing for the first time, and I’d found my true voice.
Mitchell’s
stage was home, and I couldn’t begin to think about the day that would come all too soon. Graduation Day.

My pocket vibrated just as Buzz hopped on the stage to introduce me for the first time as the feature performer. I pulled my phone out and saw it wasn’t a call. Becki sent a video-chat request. I hit
accept
.

“Becki, I can’t talk now. I’m about to go on stage.” I figured the time difference must’ve had her confused.

“I know that, dummy. We didn’t want to miss it.” Calon’s face slid onto the screen with hers, and they both grinned from ear to ear.

“Now, hand the phone to Jake and go get ‘em rock star!” He said it in perfect Calon fashion.

I did as they said, and Jake followed me up to the stage.

I grabbed Josephine from her case and ran my fingers over the quote on the guitar strap Jake had bought for me:

“Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent.” Victor Hugo

“Jake, I feel like this is the moment that takes us full circle. Thank you for staying on this ride with me.”

“There’s nowhere I’d rather be, baby girl. I am so proud of you.”

“Ewww. Get on with it. We’re dying over here.” Becki’s voice was louder than the crowd, and Calon was making a gag face that soon had me in hysterics.

I stepped up onto the stage and turned for the moment I would carry with me for the rest of my life. Every eye was on me. There were couples holding hands, some crazy girls on a bar tour, and a whole hell of a lot of familiar faces. I smiled and took it all in. I looked down at Jake, who held a smiling Calon and Becki in his hand, just as Ashley and Sam pushed through the crowd and right up to where Jake stood. They both smiled and waved. Ashley was giddy with excitement.

“Gracie!” A voice I had missed shook me out of my daze, and someone lunged toward me from the edge of the stage.

“Stacy!” She hugged me and kissed me on the cheek then jumped back down just as Buzz finished his blabbing about me and was coming to get her down.

“Um, Gracie. The apartment?” She folded her arms across her chest.

I suddenly got very nervous about what her reaction would be.

“I love it! And you
can
clean, you liar!” We both cracked up.

She stood on the floor right at the edge of the stage and mouthed, “You’re my hero!” Maverick walked up beside her and put his arm around her, his other arm was around Chelsea, who looked pretty cozy tucked under those big guns.

It was then I realized that, even though the last year of my life had been hell and left me with scars, I had never been alone. The people who loved me the most had stood right next to me through it all, and yes, I did it on my own, but not without their support and love. I took a deep breath and strummed Josephine. The crowd went silent.

“I am so humbled you all came out to see me tonight. This stage feels pretty empty without Calon and the guys. I’ve got some big shoes to fill.”

“You got this, G!” Spider’s voice called out from my phone, and the other guys were trying to yell something, but Calon and Becki shushed them.

“I learned a lot about myself over the last year. I learned I was stronger than I thought, and I found my voice, but not just my singing voice. I found a voice within me that said I was worthy. I found a voice that said I deserved more. And even when that voice told me something I didn’t want to hear, I listened and chose to go it alone for a while.” I looked down and smiled at Jake, who had let me walk away, but had really never left my side. His blue eyes sparkled under the lights. I let my eyes sweep across the crowd, and she caught my eye. Sylvia was at the bar. She lifted a shot glass and winked.

“I also learned that letting life hit you where it hurts doesn’t make you weak, but gives you the opportunity to take it as it comes, make peace with it and move on.”

I looked back down at Jake and tried to control my chin that had already started to quiver.

“Someone once told me that it was my security in my convictions that made me shine. But I think that’s only part of what makes me shine. I believe that if you let yourself experience life, all of it, then those who touch your soul the deepest are reflected in who you become. And if you’re lucky, there will be people in your life that give you a place to shine. I have been blessed by some pretty amazing people in my life, and this song is a celebration of the many things they’ve taught me. This one’s called, “One More Breath.”

Just take one more breath, it goes like this.

There’s no tomorrow if you don’t learn to live.

You don’t have to stay where the last person put you.

So open your heart and live

Just listen, please listen,

it’s your life that’s speaking.

Live it. Breathe it. Own it. Be it.