25
A
heavy sigh escapes me as I see Sam lingering outside the dorm in his jean jacket with fur trim and boots. He's got on sunglasses and a hunting cap, even though it's not really sunny at all. The hunting cap looks warm though.
Sam smiles brightly when he sees me. He runs up, scoops me into his arms, and kisses my neck. “I missed you, girl.”
“I missed you too, Sam.”
“What's wrong, Sunday? Why does your voice sound like that?”
“Like what?”
“Like you're ready to rip my head off about something. I haven't even been to the club with Zac since that other thing went down, so I hope you're not still tripping on that.”
“Can we take this conversation outside? Let's take a walk. I don't want everyone in the dorm knowing my business.”
“It's like that?” Sam asks. Now he sounds worried, and I don't do anything to calm his fears. He should be worried.
Once we're outside, and a safe distance away from the dorm, Sam says, “Okay, Sunday, what's going on? I don't want to have to guess, either. Can you just come right out and tell me?”
I give a hoarse chuckle. Seriously, he thinks he's calling the shots here? Really? He should be going over all the dirt he's done in his mind and answering his own questions. He knows what's up.
“Okay, I won't keep you in suspense, because I don't play games. Rielle's best friend Porche came up to me at the club... .”
Sam rolls his eyes and sighs. “I can't stand Porche.”
“Well, she didn't say anything about the two of you being friends. She did say that you and Rielle are still pretty tight.”
“Let me explain... .”
With those words, I feel my stomach drop. He's not supposed to say,
Let me explain.
He's supposed to say that Porche is a raving lunatic, and that everything that comes out of her mouth is a lie. He's not supposed to have an explanation.
“Explain what? Explain how Rielle lost her virginity to you on prom night? You told me that you two only kissed. How does one lose their virginity by kissing?”
Sam sighs again. “Okay, so I didn't tell the truth about that. I did hook up with Rielle on prom night, but it was just that. A hook-up. We weren't dating, and you and I were about to get back together. I didn't want to mess that up.”
“You thought telling the truth was going to mess up what we had? Wow. This is crazy. How many other things have you lied about, Sam? Did you lie about the groupie in New York? Was she even a groupie? Were you drugged, or was that all your idea? Do you see the issue I have here, Sam? Tell one whopper of a lie, and then I have a hard time trusting you at all.”
I'm pacing back and forth now, making a shoe-print trail in the frosted grass outside my dorm.
“I already answered your questions about that, Sunday, and I'm not going to go back over that again.”
“Now you're telling me what you
not
going to do? That's really funny. I just have another question, though, since you admit that you lied about hooking up with Rielle. Why did you buy her a laptop? Is she still your hook-up buddy? Or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe she's the main girlfriend and I'm the side piece. She was first, right? And since we haven't hooked up yet, and I currently have no plans to go there with you, maybe she's the top chick.”
Sam shakes his head. “Her mom goes to church with my mom, that's how the whole prom thing happened in the first place. My mother always liked her. And ... well ... when we hooked up, Rielle told her mom, who told my mom. They're acting like I owe her something because they think I broke her heart.”
“Did you break her heart? Did she think you guys were more than just hook-up buddies?”
“I don't know... . Maybe. But when I got my check, my mom mentioned that Rielle didn't have a laptop and that her mom had mentioned it at church. My mom thought buying it for her would be a good way to apologize.”
This whole story sounds crazy. First he lies about hooking up and then he tells me some preposterous story about doing a good deed?
“Are you still messing with her?”
“I don't think I should have to answer that.”
I stop pacing and am now face-to-face with him. “You don't
have
to do anything.”
“No, I'm not still messing with her. Come on. We're about to go to her campus right now. She'll tell you.”
I cock my head to one side trying to figure out Sam's plan. It could be a move of desperation, or maybe he already had the heads-up from Rielle and they put their heads together. I mean, if I was Rielle, and my boyfriend was making millions dealing with a hot pop/R & B artist I might want him to keep making money. If I dump Sam, I don't know if he'll still be considered a member of the Reign Records family.
“I'm not going anywhere with you. I've got all the information I need to make a decision.”
“You're gonna go off the word of that skank Porche? She's just mad because she tried to hook up with me and I turned her down.”
He's quite the ladies' man these days, I see. I could believe that Porche would do that, but it doesn't change anything about the lies that Sam has already told.
“I was going to give you this when I saw you next. I didn't want it to be like this ... but ...”
Sam hands me a little jewelry box.
“What is this?”
“Open it.”
I open the box and there's a pretty diamond ring inside.
“It's not an engagement ring, or anything like that. It was meant to be a promise ring.”
Before I can stop myself, I laugh out loud. This is the least perfect time for him to give me a promise ring. Promise of what? That he'll stop telling me lies and hurting me?
“What exactly are you promising, Sam? I'm a little bit confused, I think.”
“I know I've messed up. Big-time. But everything I hid from you, everything I didn't say is only because I wanted so much to be with you. I know you, Sunday. Everything is all or nothing. I knew if I told you about hooking up with Rielle, you would've never forgiven me, even though we were on a break at the time.”
“We were on a break?”
“Well, I can't even say it was a break. You'd placed me in the friend zone and wouldn't let me out, and you were flirting with Truth.”
“I am not about to rehash all that. Bottom line, you lied to me. You are not about to turn this around and make it seem like this is a me thing.”
I place his ring box right back in his hand.
“So you're not going to accept my ring.”
“I'm not. I'm a millionaire. If I want diamonds, I'll buy my own.”
I quickly walk away, leaving Sam standing outside. I don't want him to see the angry and sad tears streaming down my face. He cannot see me crying. It's not even fair that I am.
Pop-star status might get me VIP access in the club, but it sure doesn't do a dang thing for my love life. I feel the opposite of VIP. I'm like the busted chick who got to the door of the club and got turned away for looking too basic.
How am I going to get over this?
26
A
ll day, after Sam's visit, I stay in bed crying. I don't know if I'm angrier than I am sad, but I just know the tears won't stop coming. I've already used two boxes of tissue and I'm working on a third.
Gia and Hope come back from church and they've got food. I can smell it.
“We've got a bunch of good stuff,” Gia says.
“Comfort food,” Hope adds.
Gia nods as she pulls out paper plates and forks. “When you're sad you have to eat. Good food helps release mood-enhancing endorphins into your bloodstream. It's like taking a Prozac.”
“She means that it'll make you feel better. Piper and Meagan are on their way with chocolate, ice cream, and movies.”
“Movies? What kind of movies?” I know they better not bring a romantic comedy up in here. I will hurl that thing across the room if they do.
“I was against it, but they're bringing scary movies,” Gia says. “I'm not a fan, but it's better than nothing, I suppose.”
A few scary movies are perfect. Maybe I'll be too petrified to even think about Sam's deceptive ways.
My phone buzzes, and I don't even check it, because Sam has been texting me and calling me nonstop. He keeps saying that he cares so much about me, and that Rielle is nobody. In my opinion, you don't buy
nobody
a laptop. Seems to me that a nobody wouldn't get any gifts. A nobody wouldn't even have your number.
Maybe if it was just them hooking up for prom night ... maybe I could've understood. But, it wasn't just that. He's
still
dealing with her. How could he still be dealing with her when he's supposed to be with me? Aren't I enough?
“When are they going to get here with the movies?” I ask.
“Meagan just texted me and said they'd be here in five minutes,” Gia says.
Hope hands me a plate of food full of my favorites. Fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, collard greens, candied yams, and macaroni and cheese. Of course, it's from the Busy Bee Café.
Sam and I loved to go to Busy Bee.
“What do you want to drink?” Gia asks. “We've got Pepsi, sweet tea, and apple juice.”
“Sweet tea.”
“I should've known. You're a native.”
This makes me laugh, because it is so true. Sweet tea is like water to me. We probably drank more tea than any other beverage in my house growing up.
Sam loves my sweet tea.
I take a huge bite of food and try to push the thoughts of Sam out of my mind. This macaroni and cheese is so good. I don't know what Gia meant when she talked about endorphins, but if it means good enough to slap yo' mama, then I agree.
“It's good, isn't it?” Hope asks. “This is how my mother cooks.”
Gia laughs out loud. “Your mom is not this good a cook.”
“I know you're not talking. Your mother's pancakes taste like shoes. And not even fly shoes. They taste like Payless shoes.”
“Okay, I'll give you that. My mother cannot cook.”
I crack up at the back-and-forth cousin banter. If they're purposely doing this to distract me, then it's working, because they are too funny.
There's a knock on the door, and it's Meagan and Piper. They've got huge grocery bags and movies.
“Okay, so it's going to be an
Aliens
marathon. We've got
Alien
,
Aliens
and
Aliens III
and
Alien vs. Predator
. Then, we also got
Takers
.”
“What does that have to do with the alien theme?” Gia asks.
“Absolutely nothing. But it's a movie full of hotties,” Piper says. “Hotties are good, right?”
We all burst into laughter. My phone rings, and this time it's Mystique. I know her ring tone. This one I will answer.
“Where have you been?” Mystique asks instead of saying hello.
“Here, in my dorm. What's up?”
“I've been texting you all day, and you hadn't replied. It was like you fell off the face of the earth or something.”
I roll my eyes at her dramatics. I'm about five seconds away from saying something crazy. Not in the mood for anyone being theatrical today. No one except me. If I want to throw a tantrum I will.
“What's going on?” I ask. “What's so important?”
“Do you know about this thing with Bethany supposedly being pregnant?”
Big sigh. Not caring about Bethany's foolishness right now. But of course, Mystique doesn't know what's going on with me. If she did, she'd be more sympathetic. I think.
“Yeah, I know about it.”
“So when were you going to tell me? Evan is going to freak out! She's got a record coming out in the spring. She can't have a baby.”
I shrug. Not my issue. “What do you want me to do about it?”
“Convince her not to have it!”
“I can't do that. Plus, I can't even think about that right now.”
“Why not? What's the matter with you?”
“Nothing. What's up with Zac's love child?”
Groan from Mystique. “Well, we're at least talking now, but he still won't give me an answer one way or the other. I'm pretty sure it's his kid by the way he's been acting.”
“Wow. Well, keep me in the loop on that.”
“I will if you answer your phone.”
“Call me. Don't text me.” I can't take the chance of seeing one of Sam's begging text messages.
“Okay. Evan is calling a Reign Records meeting for later this week. It's going to be at Zac's house.”
“Is Dreya going to be there?”
“Yeah, I think so. I heard she finally got settled in at Evan's house. She had the master suite redecorated.”
That makes me sad. Dreya is too young to move in with a man, but neither she nor Evan see anything wrong with it because she's legal. My aunt Charlie didn't try too hard to stop her either. I think if it had been some broke dude with no cash, that no one could've stopped Aunt Charlie from regulating. But because Evan is worth three hundred million dollars, he gets a pass.
“Dreya is an idiot,” I say. “I hope she gets what she wants.”
“She wants to be the biggest star in the world. Evan will try to make that happen.”
“At whose expense?”
“Anyone who gets in his way, I guess.”
“Well, let me get off the phone with you. My friends are here, and we're about to watch movies. Catch you later.”
“Don't forget to talk to Bethany.”
“Whatever.”
I disconnect the call and take another bite of food. “What are we watching first?
Aliens
or hotties?”
Gia plucks a movie out of Piper's hand. “Let's save the hotties for last.”
“Are y'all ready for final exams?” Hope asks. “My dad is going to freak out if I don't get good grades.”
“I'm ready. I don't think I'm going to have a problem on any of mine,” Gia says.
Piper says, “I just can't believe the semester went by this fast. I mean, it seems like we just got here and now we're about to be done with the first semester.”
“I'm not worried about exams either,” I say, “but I do have to study. I'm not one of those people who can cram for tests. I've been hitting the books whenever I can, but I'm not sure it's enough.”
“How do you even find time to study? It seems like you're always at the studio or at the club or somewhere,” Meagan says. “I admire you, though, because I couldn't do it with all those distractions.”
There's another knock on our door. I have no idea who that could be since we're all here.
Piper opens the door. It's DeShawn. He's got a greasy-looking bag in his hand.
“Oh, I see y'all already have food. I was just bringing Sunday some pizza from my favorite pizza shop.”
“DeShawn! That's so sweet,” I say. “Give it to me! If I gain ten pounds by the end of next week who cares! I don't have a boyfriend anyway!”
“Aw, don't say that,” DeShawn says. “You and old boy are gonna work it out. He'd be stupid not to beg your forgiveness.”
DeShawn brings the pizza over and gives me a hug. He feels strong and his cologne is incredible. But I'm so not thinking about how hot DeShawn is right now. I'm thinking that I have to stay completely away from him, because all boys are the same. Players. All they need is a groupie and the opportunity.
“Thanks for the pizza, DeShawn. I appreciate it,” I say.
“Okay. Call me if you need anything.”
I nod and smile. I have no intention of calling him, but there's no need for me to hurt his feelings since he's being so nice to me.
When DeShawn leaves, all of my friends burst into laughter. “What's so funny?” I ask.
“Nothing except the fact that DeShawn is so pitiful,” Gia says. “He's been digging you ever since that video shoot y'all did.”
“I know. He's nice, but I'm not about to get with anyone else anytime soon. Sam messed it up for all the boys on all the campuses.”
Meagan shakes her head. “My grandmother says, âone monkey don't stop no show.' You need to just dust yourself off and get back in the saddle.”
Piper raises her hand. Gia says, “Yes, Piper.”
“Excuse me, I'm having a really hard time believing that anyone in Meagan's family said that. There was a double negative somewhere in that sentence.”
This makes everyone crack up, including Meagan, who is not really all that cool with jokes about her family.
“Don't hate on us because we're bougie,” Meagan says.
“Turn on the movie!” Hope says. “I'm ready to see Sigourney Weaver kick some alien booty.”
Even though there's that ever-present pain in the pit of my stomach whenever my mind wanders back to Sam, the laughter is helping. A lot. My mother always says that laughter is good for the soul. I guess it's also a good remedy for a broken heart.