On the Loose (37 page)

But can I? The Scotts are there—I can see them, touch them. Bum money from them. But God? How can He be that real to me?

I really want to believe you’re there.

A few rows over Mrs. Dobbs raises up her hands and sways to the music. Her eyes closed, her head tilted back, she sings her heart out to the Lord. God is that real to her. Is it really just that easy?

Through many dan gers, toils and snares . . .

we have already come.

’Twas grace that brought us safe thus far . . .

And grace will lead us home

It’s not like it could hurt. I mean, I’m Katie Parker. Disaster sits in my back pocket and follows me everywhere. I could use the insurance. It seems to have worked for the Dobbs. That woman sat in her living room and prayed, fully expecting God to take care of her and her husband. And he did.

I need you to take care of me. And Millie.

Pastor Mike continues talking as the band sings the first verse again.

A movement to my left catches my eye. Jeremy, my friend and cast-mate, places himself in front of our youth minister. Pastor Mike puts his arm around Jeremy and pulls him close, speaking in his ear over the strains of music. I see Jeremy nod a few times and brush at his eyes with the back of his hand. Minutes pass before Pastor Mike signals for the band to close.

“Guys, tonight I want to introduce you to Jeremy. His family was hit by the storm, and they lost nearly everything they had. Jeremy’s been trying to make sense of it all ever since. Tonight it’s not about logic, it’s about what God’s put in your heart. Following his lead. Jeremy, are you ready to let God take that lead?”

Jeremy nods, his eyes fixed on the pastor. “Yeah.”

“It’s that easy, guys. It’s trusting that God is big enough to carry all you’ve got to throw on him. It’s believing Jesus died on a cross for you. Nobody understands pain more than him.”

My heart speeds up watching Jeremy stand there with my pastor. Do I have it in me to do that—just accept it all and surrender? Can I do this? Should I do this?

“Preacher, I’d like to testify, if I could.”

I frown in confusion as Mrs. Dobbs stands up. Testify? Like what you do before Judge Judy yells at you?

“Go ahead, Miss Sarah.”

“Just as sure as I know the Lord was in my living room that night, I know He’s here.” As Mrs. Dobbs casts her eyes over every single person, the band resumes their quiet chorus without the words.

“The living room was as far as we could go. And that’s where He met us.” Mrs. Dobbs pauses and watches us all. A pressure builds in my chest as I feel the weight of her stare on me. “No matter where you are when you cry out to him—that’s where you’ll find him.”

“Amen,” Elmer shouts from his chair.

“And if a tornado tore apart our home for no other reason than to see someone come to the Lord, then I say . . . you bring on another twister.”

I once was lost, but now I’m found.

Was blind, but now I see.

With tears streaming down my face, I grab Frances’s hand. “I think I’m supposed to go up there.”

She leans in close. “What?”

“I think Mrs. Dobbs is talking about
me.
” I can hardly hear myself over the blood rushing to my head. The pressure to do what I need to do battles with the dread over laying myself open in front of all these people.

OK, God, you can have me. I don’t know what’s coming for me, but I want to be in a safe place when it does.

“Katie, what are you trying to tell me?”

I rub my hand over my nose. “I get it, Frances.” I meet her dark eyes and nod. “I get it.”

My best friend—the only one I’ve ever had—squeezes my hand, her own eyes pooling. “Are you ready to do this?”

My throat stings with tears, and all I can do is nod. Nod and sniff. I close my eyes, battling the voice that tells me to stay seated, and I stand to my feet.

Frances grabs my arm and tugs. “No, Katie.”

I stop.

“Your days of doing things alone are over.” She puts her thin arm around me much like Millie has a hundred times before. And we step across legs and purses until we reach the end of the row and walk the aisle towards an awaiting Pastor Mike.

“Hold up.”

Ten feet away from the front, Charlie Benson stands at the end of his row and waits.

For me. He steps to my other side, places his hand at my back and grins.

And together, the three of us take the longest walk of my life. Stepping in time to the words of grace, I walk toward the music, toward Pastor Mike.

And you know who was waiting there for me?

God.

“S
urprise!”

“Congratulations!”

“Finally, you’re saved! I bet Myrtle May Higgins, and she owes me five bucks.”

I walk into the house on Friday night to streamers, confetti, party horns, and a sign hanging over the entryway that says
Katie+God 4EVS.

Maxine lays a hand on her chest. “I made the sign.”

I laugh and give her a big hug. “Never would’ve guessed.”

“We’re so proud of you.” Millie’s blue eyes glisten. “We’ve been praying for this since day one.”

“Oh, I remember that first day.” James sets my bag down and shuts the door. “You told us you had a boyfriend named Snake, and your favorite class was shop because you liked to play with sharp objects.”

We all laugh. That seems like a hundred years ago when Mrs. Smartly dropped me off. I’m so far from that girl who stood in the Scott’s driveway, totally alone, utterly scared.

“Guess what I’ve got for dinner?” Millie claps her hands like a cheerleader. “Pizza!”

“Oh, wow, Millie, it’s only been five days since we had your tofu pizza. I want to savor the memory a little longer.” Plus I need to call the Food Network and report my foster mother’s crime against the basic food groups.

“No, I’m talking pepperoni, gooey mozzarella cheese, crispy crust—”

I smash Millie in a fierce hug. “Who are you and what have you done with my foster mom?”

With three slices of artery-clogging heaven sitting on my plate, I sit at the table surrounded by my family—James, Millie, Maxine. Oh, and that stupid dog, of course. In between bites, I toss out all the random questions about God swimming in my head. Though the pieces are starting to fit, there’s still so much I don’t know. And James says that’s just fine.

“So you wouldn’t tell me over the phone about your conversation with the principal. How did that go?” I grab the packet of fake Parmesan cheese and sprinkle until my pizza is totally blanketed in unnatural goodness. Millie frowns her disapproval, but doesn’t say a word.

James pushes up his glasses. “Saw your principal Saturday afternoon. Invited him to a round of golf, then pulled out my phone and sprung the video on him.” He nods and grins. “Best game of golf I ever played. Mr. Wayman couldn’t seem to keep his mind on the game. Not only will he and Mrs. Whipple be apologizing to you in person, but they will also make a public apology to you Monday.”

“Cool.” Though it pains me, I set my third piece of pizza down, half eaten. Perhaps I should wrap it up and keep it so I can remember what the real stuff looks like. “Thanks for doing that, James. I really appreciate it.”

“Kid, I’d go to bat for you any day.”

I raise my lips in a smile, but my conscience tugs it right back down. I have yet to tell them about going to Trevor’s party. About deceiving them. And about the alcohol. I get that all my sins are forgiven, but it doesn’t seem right to hold on to this one.

After dinner I heave my tired, overworked body upstairs. I cannot wait to kick off my shoes, flop on my bed and—

“Maaaaxiiiiine!” I stand in horror at the sight before me. Leopard print. Everywhere I look. My white rug—gone. Lying under my feet a fake bear rug—complete with fake bear head. A giant tiger poster hangs over my bed. An enormous stuffed lion sits in the place where my cushy bean bag chair once was.

“What are you yelling . . . Oh.”

I swivel and face my roommate. “‘Oh?
Oh
is
all
you have to say for yourself?”

“Well, I was going to ask you how you like our matching cheetah comforters, but you didn’t give me a chance.”

I march over to my bed and rip off the insult to bedding. “Where is my hot pink quilt? My retro pillows? My bean bag? My white rug?”

She backs up a few steps. “Now, Sweet Pea, calm down.”

“Don’t tell me to calm down. My room is . . . is a jungle!”

Maxine sniffs. “I would think anyone would find this beautiful.”

“Yeah, if you’re a chimpanzee.”

“Now, just a minute—”

“I leave for five days and you do all this?” I pace the room, finding new wildlife in every nook.

Maxine plants herself in my path and halts me with her hand. “Let me push rewind for you, little girl. I distinctly remember us having a little deal. Am I correct?”

Still furious, I nod.

“And in exchange for my silence on your certain misdeed, you agreed to a list of items in return. Still with me here?”

My nostrils flare with my every breath.

“And you said I could add a few personal belongings to this room.”

“I never said—”

“Ah-ah-ah.” She holds up a finger. “Don’t interrupt me, my little apple dumpling. Per our agreement, basically anything I say goes.” She walks to the door and pulls it open. “By the way, I have a friend coming next week to paint a mural on the walls. I came up with the design myself. I call it ‘Maxine Runs With the Tigers.’”

I catch up with my foster grandmother on the fifth step down, nudge her out of my way, and skid to a halt in the kitchen.

Millie looks up from her place at the sink. “Is something wrong?” She hands James a dish to dry.

Here goes nothing. “I need to tell you something.”

Maxine appears behind me and pokes me in the back. “You really should think this through,” she hisses.

I shake my head. “No, I really need to talk to you guys.”

“Silly child is obviously exhausted from her mission work.” Maxine puts her hands on my shoulders and pushes. “I’ll get her to bed.”

I dig in my feet. “Two weeks ago I—”

“Fell and bumped her head.” Maxine clucks her tongue. “Poor dear.”

I shoot her a look hot enough to sizzle bacon. “You two were at the hospital. It was your last night. And I went—”

“And played hide-and-seek with the chickens.”

“No! Would you be quiet?” I step back, my foot landing not so accidentally on Maxine’s toe. “I was mad. At you, at your daughter, at myself because—”

“The darn chickens found her every time and—”

“I went to a party! There was alcohol! It was at Trevor’s, and his parents weren’t home.” My voice rattles the cabinets.

Millie hands James another glass. He swabs it out with a tea towel, inspects it, then passes it back. “You missed a spot.”

She smiles and nods. “Thank you, dear. I believe you’re right.” Millie returns the glass to the sudsy water.

I move in closer. “Did you hear what I said?”

“Here you go. All clean now.” Millie reaches for a salad bowl. “Yes, I heard you. Did you hear her, James?”

My foster dad picks up a fork and rinses. “I think all of Dallas, Houston, and San Antonio heard what she said.”

They clearly are not comprehending. “I went to a party. I took a drink of beer. And Maxine caught me and hauled me back home.”

Millie rests her rag on the counter. “We know.”

“I know you know. I just told you.”

“Nah,” James says. “We’ve actually known a little bit before tonight.”

From my peripheral vision I see Maxine slowly backing out of the kitchen. “If you value the Justin Timberlake scrapbook collection you keep under your bed, you will stop right there.”

Maxine freezes. She turns back around, her face glowing with innocence.

I return my attention to Scotts. “Exactly how long have you known?”

“Would you say ten minutes after Mom brought her home or closer to fifteen?”

James purses his lips and stares at the ceiling, his brow wrinkled in concentration. “I . . . believe I would say ten minutes. Yes, I’m gonna have to go with ten.”

I pounce on Maxine. “You,” I growl. “You have totally taken advantage of me. I washed your unmentionables. I brought you breakfast in bed. I picked all the seeds out of your oranges. I fluffed your pillow every single night.” My hands clench and unclench at my sides. “For
you
I fluffed!”

“Now, Katie, dear. There’s no need to get upset.” She pats my head. “Grandma loves you!”

James barks with laughter. “Katie, you brought all this on yourself.”

“I have to admit, it’s been a fun two weeks waiting for you to come clean. Especially that day I saw you ironing mom’s pantyhose.”

James snaps his fingers. “Or the time she had to stand outside the bathroom and read Shakespearean sonnets to Maxine while she soaked in bubbles.”

Soon everyone dissolves into chuckles.

Everyone but me.

“I’m glad you guys think this is so funny. So glad I could entertain you.”