On the Mountain (Follow your Bliss #5) (25 page)

“I juss wanna dansss,” Mellie
slurred. 

“I know you want to dance, but
you can’t dance out here.”

She hefted Mellie to her feet and
brought her into their room. She propped her up in a chair and brought a bottle
of water.

“What happened? That guy wasn’t
rough with you, was he?”

“Did we have sex?” Her eyes
drooped sleepily and she nodded answering her own question. “I think so. It was
good. Not as good as Will. Your brother, he’s really good in bed. But I had fun
dansssing with Wes. He’s a good danssser.”

Baskia’s eyes widened. “TMI,
Mellie.”

She started to get to her feet.
“Let’s go find the guys and dansss.”

Baskia gently set her back in the
chair. “I think we’ll stay here a little longer.”

“I just wanna dansss.” Mellie
swayed in the chair as if she could hear the beats pumping from the pool deck.

“We’ll dance later, but you need
to get some rest.”

“I don’t need to rest. I need to
party. Don’t you like to party? I thought you were like the party star. I
thought if I invited you here, we’d have fun together. Like we used to. We had
fun, right?” she asked, almost like an afterthought.

“Of course we did.” Maybe Mellie
hadn’t invited her there to make sure she stayed out of trouble, but as a way
to bring them together again, on what Mellie thought was Baskia’s playing
field. “On New Year’s, do you remember?”

“That was a party.”

“It was something.” Baskia
considered waiting until morning to have the conversation. But she figured she
could just say it all again if she had to. “I’m sorry if I haven’t been a good
friend. You’ve needed me, and I haven’t been available—selfishly caught up in
my own drama. But I’m here for you now.”

“I just need to dansss.”

“Yeah, but don’t make it a
habit.”

Mellie looked at her then, her
eyes brimming with tears. “I miss my mommy.”

Baskia pulled her close. “I know
you do. I know.” She guided her to the bed, brushed her hair away from her
face, and settled her under the sheet. Mellie cried softly. Baskia took her in
her arms again.

“I’m all alone,” Mellie sobbed.

“No, you’re not. You have me. You
have a sister.”

Chapter
Twenty-Five

As Baskia tried to sleep, the
strobe lights and thumping drum and bass flashed and faded. She’d been turned
to that frequency for years, but recently nudged the dial enough to actually
hear the nuances in the music, the crescendos and arpeggios. She heard the
words between the notes whispering her purpose. She tuned in. It was the sound
of happiness and fulfillment. It was the music she’d seen in Brighton’s smile,
captured in a photo, before she’d fled to Vermont. She understood. Love.

The next morning, Baskia woke up,
alone in the bed. Mellie sat on the stucco deck overlooking the ocean and the
pool. She joined her out there, breathing in the fresh salt air.

“Nice day,” Baskia said, taking a
sip of water.

“Rough night.”

Baskia passed her the bottle.
“Are you okay?”

“I will be. I don’t know what’s
gotten into me. I just want to—”

“Be loved? You are. I’m sorry I
haven’t been—”

“I know, I accepted your apology
last night,” Mellie said meaningfully.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d
remember.”

“I was wasted, but those kinds of
things pierce even the drunkest facades. And that’s all this is. Just an
escape. Truly, what happens here, stays here. The pressures of school,
confusion about where Will and I stand, thoughts of Wes, and the ever-present
absence of my mom nearly crushed me. I miss her so much. You know we fought all
the time. We hardly ever got along. My dad says we’re exactly the same, that’s
why we were always at odds. He misses her too, and being with him is almost
worse, the two of us drowning in our grief.”

“I’m so sorry—”

“Don’t be. This is just part of
my life, loss. I’ll get through it. I just thought I’d try on the party
lifestyle, you seemed like you were having fun, so I figured why not.” Mellie
shrugged.

“I was just escaping too.”

“Not anymore, I can tell. You’re
different. That mountain changed you. It’s like you’re more rooted. Calmer,”
Mellie said thoughtfully.

Baskia nodded. “You’re welcome to
stay with me. There’s nothing more humbling than waking up to subzero
temperatures and having to shovel your way to the stack of wood.”

Mellie laughed. “Or oversleeping
for an exam.”

“Ouch. Really?”

“I got a warning from my advisor.
I let things slide, but from here on out, I have to focus.”

“Well, you know what they say
about all work and no play…”

Mellie giggled. “There’s Wes…”

“So do you like—”

Mellie made the “my lips are
sealed” gesture with her thumb and forefinger.

“Uh, but what about Will?”

“We’re good friends. But he’s
really busy, and I’m about to get really busy. We gave it a shot. It got confusing;
we’ve known each other how long? It was,” she closed her eyes, “amazing, but—”

“Right people wrong time?”

“Something like that.”

Baskia took in the bright rays in
shades of melon and tangerine. The sun soaked her skin. “So you’re going to be
okay?” Baskia asked.

“Yes. I will. You?”

Baskia nodded. “I’m still not
sure what my future holds. It’s unnerving. It seems like everyone knows what
they want to do. That part of me, where I once felt pressured to study for a
career following my parent’s wishes, vanished. Instead, now I feel this
pressure to follow my hopes and dreams, only I’m still not sure exactly what
they are.”

“It sounds like you’ve been
searching.”

“What do you mean? The mountain?”

“I mean your blog. You have a
passion for fashion and food.”

“Wait, you know about my blog?”

“All I can say is four girls in a
suite and a pot of baked beans is no bueno. Those cupcakes on the other hand…”

The two friends erupted in
laughter.

“And Maisy. That’s an amazing
story. Also, I’ve been wanting to say, I think you hit your quarter life
crisis, just a bit early.”

“My what?”

“It’s like a mid-life crisis only
minus the flashy cars and plastic surgery. It’s like an existential crisis of
being. Who am I? Where do I belong? How do I become an adult? What is an adult?
The big questions.”

Baskia nodded slowly.

“You know what I say? Screw
that.”

Baskia’s mouth fell open. “Mellie
Winthrop, I’ve never heard you say screw anything. Except last night you were
going on about—”

“No, I mean all the pressure. Let
yourself evolve naturally into the woman you’re meant to be. It’s okay not to
know who you are yet. And if you want to be a food blogger, taking the culinary
world by storm, and then study nutrition demonstrating what it is to be a
healthy fashion model, so be it. Yanno, just as an idea. But there’s no rush.
Or if you decide you want to become an astronaut, a politician, or a
philosopher, or a space exploring democrat extolling the merits of existence,
then by all means…”

Baskia laughed. “The democrat
wouldn’t go over well with mother and father Benedict.”

“The great thing is you can go
down any of those roads and then blam, change directions. What I’ve learned
about growing up is you get to make up your own rules. Life’s too short to
follow someone else’s, even your mother’s, however well-meaning she may be.”

Baskia closed her mouth, amazed
at her friend’s truthful and honest outpouring. “You just said everything I’ve
been searching for the words to express. How’d you know?”

“I know you, Baskia French
Benedict. Oh and by the way, happy birthday. Now, tell me about this Trace guy
and then I have a present for you.”

The two friends relaxed on the
deck for the rest of the morning. Baskia had nearly forgotten it was her
birthday, but she’d celebrated back home and was glad for the simplicity of a
deck chair in the sun and her best friend.

That afternoon, Mellie led Baskia
down to the beach where a handsome blond surfer waited for them.

“Who’s that?” Baskia asked,
unable to help herself.

“He’s my cousin Donovan’s friend.
“

“You mean Van?”

“Yep. He’s become a sports
writer. That fella there is Jamie Burke, world-class surfer, hottie, father of
two.” She sighed. “I’m just sorry that he’s unavailable.”

“What about Wes?!”

“I’m kidding. But he’s here to
teach us how to surf,” Mellie said cheerfully.

Baskia’s eyes widened.
“Seriously?”

“I can think of nothing better
than learning to ride the waves.”

That night, exhausted, after
being tumbled in the water, paddling their hearts out, and surfing until the
sun had nearly set, they had a lavish meal with the others. Nearly the entire
resort restaurant sang to Baskia after a server brought out a giant sundae lit
with sparklers. When they fizzled out, she wished she’d see a guy named Tracey
Wolfe when she got home.

For the rest of the week, Baskia
and Mellie never left each other’s side. Not even when guys asked them to
dance, or when Becca begged Mellie to enter a wet t-shirt contest. They stuck
together when a pre-med student asked Allison on a dinner date, inviting the
others along. When Ilana wandered off with a guy and a girl, calling back,
“Double the pleasure,” they laughed, knowing they’d hear about it later.

The trip was a girl’s getaway, a
chance for two old friends to reunite and learn to surf, and they weren’t
letting anything else come between them.

^^^

After a warm goodbye, Baskia was
on her way back to New England, glad to have mended things with Mellie and able
to tell Wes she was interested.

When the plane landed, the scene
was a black and white photograph with slush covering the ground, and snow
mounds practically abutting the steel-grey sky.

Baskia shivered as she turned the
heat up in the BMW. “Why didn’t I stage my unconventional year away someplace
warm,” she said aloud, realizing the sun hadn’t followed her north.

As she wound her way up the
familiar mountain roads, reflecting on her trip, she wondered if Trace had been
to the cabin or if he waited for her there. She had so much to tell him. She
may have put her partying days behind her, but the frisky side of her longed for
his touch, his lips, and more.

She hoped her birthday wish had
come true and his bike would be in the driveway and a wisp of smoke, swirling
out of the chimney toward the sky, would welcome her home. Instead, the
driveway was a vacant plain of ice, and the house was chilly. With shaking
hands, she lit a fire. She’d turned down the heat before leaving on the trip,
but after the warmth in Mexico, she cranked it back up.

She surveyed the cabin, hoping
for a sign of Trace’s being there: a banana peel, coffee grounds in the trash,
a forgotten sock, a note with the letters
XO
, anything. She worried that
she’d missed him, but what was worse was if he hadn’t been there at all. She
tugged on the lid of coffee beans, thinking maybe he’d left her a note there.
He had a habit of saying his goodbyes in unusual ways. She cracked open her
journal, reread the poem he wrote, but didn’t find any new entries. She checked
the wine cellar, bringing up a bottle just in case. After flipping through all
the books in her library basket, she didn’t discover any words scribbled on a
bookmark or left in a margin.

He hadn’t been there. She regretted
going along with the mysterious blueprint for their relationship. He carried a
burden and wasn’t ready to fully let her in; she respected that because as much
as she wanted him, she also wanted to be the best version of herself and that
was not the girl she was six or even three months ago. She’d grown and was now
ready for him, but where was he?

^^^

At the market, Daniella welcomed
Baskia back, with a, “Ciao bella.” They talked about their respective trips. If
Daniella forgot any details, Patty and Mary were sure to fill them in.

“Patty’s throwing me a baby
shower. She probably has an invitation for you, but I thought I’d tell you
personally.”

“I wouldn’t miss it.”

After doing her rounds at the
library and the farmhouse, Baskia sat in the car, her finger hovering over the
call button under Will’s name. She wanted to ask him about Trace or at least
get his number. Most people had cell phones, but she’d never seen him with one.
She had a pile of numbers from guys at the resort. It shouldn’t be so hard to
contact someone she’d already slept with. But she also wasn’t the girl that
threw herself at guys anymore. She debated, waffled, and then as a truck drove
by spraying the BMW with slush, her finger slipped, and the phone rang.

“Hey, little sister,” Will
answered. “How was spring break? I heard Mellie had a wild time.”

She wanted to ask him about the
two of them, but her pending romance jumped the line of important conversation
topics. “Tell me everything you know about Trace. Uh, I mean, do you have his
phone number?” She didn’t want to sound desperate.

“Whoa. Which is it? I thought you
two were just hooking up—”

“We’re not. I mean we were. I
just—”

“He’s complicated, Baskia.”

 “Then uncomplicated him,” she
countered, frustration loosening her tongue.

“It’s best I leave that up to
Trace. I don’t want to get involved in his business.”

“Then get involved in my business.
In January, he said he’d be back. It’s the end of March.”

“How was your birthday?”

“Don’t change the subject.”

“Okay, okay. Listen, he’s made
some mistakes. It’s just real life, Baskia. Not playing house in the cabin. The
stuff he’s got going on—”

“I can handle real life.”

“I know you can, but you should
hear it from him.”

Baskia huffed.

“I’ll tell you what; Mom said she
and Dad want to visit in May. If he hasn’t shown up or been in touch by then,
I’ll make sure to let him know you’d like to talk.”

Never mind their parents’
unannounced visit, her brother’s offer lingered in the air, unaccepted. The
line was quiet.

Will drew a breath. “Alright,
fine. He has a—he has a son.”

Baskia was completely silent,
unsure she heard him correctly.

“I can’t say anymore. It’s his
business. But there, you know a third of it. Now, go distract yourself.”

“Yeah, I’m good at that.”

Baskia paced around the cabin,
unsure what to think about her wild, rough around the edges, tough guy, being a
dad. She couldn’t wrap her head around it. Why didn’t he tell her? Was her
brother lying? Was he still with the mother? Were they married? Questions
bounced around, some stickier than others. She tried to unglue herself from
uncertainty until icy rain pattered against the dirty slush outside the window.
“Agh,” she screamed, fed up.