On the Outside (Caught Inside #3) (21 page)

I bit my lip and looked out into the ocean. It was odd, but amidst the craziness of the currents and waves, there was something calming about it. In a soft voice, I said, “You know what I think?”

“What?”

“That we both don’t know how to be in a relationship. I’ve had toxic ones—”

“So have I,” he agreed.

“And I don’t think I’ve ever felt what being in love meant…until I met you.”

He licked his lips and looked at me intensely. “Do you think we rushed into everything? Do you think we’d have been better off if we just took our time with everything?”

That was not what I was hoping he’d say, but I remembered Blake’s advice. I decided to approach the situation a bit differently. “You know how time is relative, right?”

He nodded.

“When you prepare for something, does the time go by quick or slow?”

He tilted his head to the side and shrugged. “It depends. If it’s something I care about, it goes by quick but if it’s something Wyatt put me up to, it drags.”

“So you admit if it’s something you enjoy, it goes by fast, right?”

“Well, yeah…”

“Maybe the same goes for us. It only seems like we fell for each other quick because we knew this was a good thing. Something we both liked and enjoyed.”

“Okay, I’ll bite…what do you mean by this?”

Now’s the time to take the plunge and catch the wave by yourself.

“Maybe we ‘rushed’ into it because for the first time in our lives we finally found something good and meaningful. We were trying to invite love into our lives so we did what both our personalities called for. You leapt for it and I allowed myself to get sucked up into it.” I turned and placed my hand on this thigh. “We aren’t a bad thing, Xavier, but there are bad things in this world. Our problem was that we allowed outside forces to ruin us, just like you said. We were so caught up in what we did individually that we didn’t think of facing them together. I think if we tried this again, we’d know how to better handle the public, family, friends…”

Xavier bowed his head and closed his eyes. “Since this is the time for revelations, I think I should confess one thing.”

“What’s that?” I asked hesitantly.

“I’ve never been in love before and it scared me. I saw a way out and instead of fighting it, I jumped at the chance because I didn’t want to hurt again the way that…”

“Sheila hurt you?” I finished for him.

“Kacy?”

I nodded.

Xavier let out a puff of air from his nose and chuckled. “If I knew what a big mouth she had, maybe I kind of miss having her hate you.”

“Ah, I wouldn’t go that far.”

A moment of silence passed by before Xavier finally spoke again. “Harper?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you and I’d like to try this over again. The right way this time. I don’t care if it feels too fast, I want to face it with you.”

The tears that I had been fighting off all day finally rolled down my cheeks, breaking free from their prison. “I’d like that, and like I said earlier, I love you too.”

Xavier let out a loud breath and smiled. “Wow, that felt better than I thought it would.”

“You can say that again.” I laughed with relief.

He bit his lip and narrowed his eyes. “So what now?”

“Maybe the next step isn’t meant to be planned. Maybe this time we can take it as it comes and let the universe decide for us.”

“Limbo?”

Grinning, we both turned and saw Limbo jump up and down as Kacy clapped her hands quietly.

“Looks like we have an audience,” Xavier commented.

“You okay with that?” I dared to tease him.

“I’m dating you, right? I better get used to being in the public eye.”

“Yes, Mr. Producer, you do.”

We leaned forward, placing our lips against each other in a chaste kiss. Though I knew we wanted nothing more than to ravish each other, knowing Limbo and Kacy were nearby sort of prevented it.

“Will you be going back to New York?” Xavier whispered, his warm breath bathing my bottom lip.

I gulped, knowing the moment of truth had finally come. I had to make my decision. “Yes.”

His face dropped. “Really? I mean…I was sort of hoping…Hollywood is nearby and…”

I couldn’t help but smile. “I’m only going back to take care of a few things…and to pack.”

A look of relief washed over his face. “Oh thank God.”

I burst into giggles and threw my arms around his shoulders, relishing the feel of his skin against mine. It felt way too long since I'd last felt his touch, and though realistically it had only been a week without him, it felt like eternity to me.

Time was a bitch like that.

Chapter 41

“Is that the last box?” Xavier looked around and let out a huge breath. “How did you fit all this stuff in this little apartment?”

“High rise furniture, stacking—you become rather innovative as a New Yorker.” I took a step back and admired my now empty space. Taking a moment to examine the discolored paint from where my pictures used to hang, I realized I was more than ready to bid this apartment goodbye.

It was the apartment of countless acting rejections. It was also the apartment I had locked myself in during my moments of immense depression. The little one bedroom 4x4 was nothing but a bad memory to me now. I was ecstatic.

It was a few months after
Cali Break
wrapped and Xavier and I were finally taking the time before the press tour began to move me into our new apartment in Los Angeles. In fact, as soon as I was finished shooting all the promotional TV spots and photographs—which was pure torture given I had to act like I
loved
Charlie—Xavier rolled up to the studio with cardboard boxes in tow, ready to whisk me away.

I bit my lip and glanced over at Xavier. “Are you sure you really don’t care that we’re moving to L.A.? You always return to Mistcoast after every project and I feel a bit bad that you’re—”

“What? Uprooting and leaving for the person I love most?” he interrupted with a smile.

“Well, yeah.”

He winked. “The same thing you’re doing as I speak?”

I threw my head back and laughed. “The thing is I don’t love New York anywhere as much as you love Mistcoast. In fact, I think I even hate it now.”

“What? You don’t like the stifling humidity, high crime rates, and rodents?” he said with feigned shock.

I rolled my eyes. “It really isn’t
that
bad.”

“Right.”

Xavier placed the box he was holding down onto my couch and walked over to me, wrapping his arms around my waist. He placed a soft kiss on my lips. “I will move anywhere for you, okay? Just like I know you’d do the same for me.”

I placed a peck on his lips in response and nodded. “Okay.”

“Good.”

Xavier dropped his hold and sighed. “Are you ready to do the promotional tour?”

“So I can spend every waking moment with Charlie? Oh yeah, of course!”

“Harper,” Xavier said warningly.

“Just kidding, but no, I’m not ready. America still hates me, remember?” I collapsed onto my couch, hitting my elbow onto the corner of a box. “Shit.”

“You okay?”

I rubbed my elbow and winced. “Yeah, but not as okay as I will be when I’m sure everyone doesn’t
loathe
me.”

Xavier glanced over at a pile of newspapers on my coffee table that we had been using to wrap my fragile decorations. He clapped his hands once and grabbed a page off top. “Have you seen this?”

“Seen what?” I groaned. Though I was all about owning up to everything and being independent, I still couldn’t bring myself to read or watch anything that had to do with public opinion.

“Yeah, I figured you didn’t.” He threw the page on my lap. “Read it.”

I pursed my lips and mustered up my courage to take a look at the page. Even feeling the crusty ink on my fingertips seemed so foreign to me. “What is this, Xavier? Is it going to make me mad? Or worse, cry?”

“Just read it.”

I shut my eyes and opened them slowly.

Harper Montgomery is the comeback queen of this millennium. After a few falls from grace she successfully jumps back to the scene with the forthcoming
Cali Break
, which is bound to be this summer’s breakout hit and a classic for years to come. The story of a bad girl gone good will undoubtedly capture your hearts and make you fall in love with Montgomery all over again.

The newspaper shook, and it took awhile for me to realize it was due to my trembling hands. I brought my fingers up to my lips and gasped. “What is this?”

Xavier grinned from ear to ear. “It is a critic review of
Cali Break,
and this woman loved you!”

“I haven’t read anything nice about myself in a very, very long time,” I gasped, still in disbelief. Frowning, I eyed Xavier suspiciously. “You didn’t plant this, did you?”

“Huh?” He looked at me with bewilderment. “What are you talking about?”

“This isn’t something fake that you cooked up to raise my confidence level, right?”

He snorted. “Oh yeah, I went ahead and broke into the newspaper’s print shop last night. I decided to doctor all those surrounding articles too.”

“Okay, okay, Mr. Sarcasm.”

He laughed. “I wanted to show you this earlier but I was waiting for the right time.”

“The right time meaning when I was on the verge of low confidence?”

He shrugged. “Close enough.”

I gazed at the article, which had a photo of me—thankfully not from any of my previous scandals. Seriously, if I had to look at my mugshot one more time I was going to…well, not beat anybody up. That was how I got into that mess to begin with.

“I think I’m going to frame this.”

Xavier’s white teeth flashed. “You should. It’s awesome.”

I nudged him playfully in the ribs. “You’re just happy that your movie was deemed a breakout hit and future classic.”

Once again he reached out and wrapped an arm around my waist. “Nah, I’m happy that my woman is happy.”

I playfully ran my hand through his hair. “Do you want to know what else would make me happy?”

I leaned forward and pushed his shirt up, placing a kiss on his chiseled abs.

Xavier’s eyebrows rose in appreciation. “You sure you want to do this now? We have a lot of work to do before the moving truck comes.”

“Eh, think of this as christening the apartment, but only backwards. We’ll leave good juju in this place.”

Xavier reached out and yanked down my pants. “I can so live with that.”

Before long both of us were rolling on the floor. Knowing full well that the door buzzer would go off at any minute, we did our version of a quickie, which really wasn’t quick at all.

I ran my hands down his front until they landed on his manhood and began pumping. We were on a timeline and though we didn’t have much room for foreplay there was no way I wouldn’t tease him. He groaned and quickly reached out to play with my clit. Together we rubbed and stroked until we were both on the verge of orgasm.

“Harper, stop. I don’t want to come like this,” he groaned out.

I dropped my hands automatically and rolled onto my knees, knowing full well that doggie was his favorite position. “Okay then, do it this way.”

“Your wish is my command.”

Sex was no longer just sex anymore with Xavier. It was making love over and over again. Though I no longer felt like a ‘virgin’ every time, I felt like something better. I felt as if Xavier and I were becoming seasoned pros, learning together each time.

“Fuck! Harper!” Xavier cried out.

I peeked over my shoulder and felt my insides jumble at the sight of Xavier surrendering to ecstasy, which brought me over the edge. Nothing was better than giving and receiving pleasure with the person you loved, and as my arms collapsed onto my floor in sexual exhaustion, I knew I was in paradise.

Bzzz. Bzzz. Bzzz.

My eyes snapped open. “Shit! Are those the movers already?”

Xavier scrambled to his feet, grabbing a nearby rag to clean himself off. “Get dressed! Come on.”

We laughed uncontrollably, trying our best to throw our clothes on. As I pulled on my sports bra, I looked around my apartment and smiled happily.

“At least my last memory in this place will be a good one,” I mumbled to myself.

“What was that?”

“Nothing,” I replied, never losing my smile. “Just thinking that I’d do all the bullshit over again if it meant finding you.”

Xavier walked up behind me and placed a kiss on my shoulder. “I wouldn’t want you to be in that much pain again, but I am really happy things worked out how they did.”

“Yeah.”

Bzzz. Bzzz.

“Shit, Harper go answer the door!” Xavier laughed, jumping into his pants.

I threw on a shirt and ran to my door, feeling the happiest I had felt in a long, long time.