On the Outside (Caught Inside #3) (5 page)

Chapter 9

“Leash?”

I nodded my head. “Check.”

“Board?”

I pointed to the heavy log looking thing at my feet. “Quadruple check.”

Xavier eyed me, scanning my body up and down. I nervously buried my feet in the sand as if it somehow would shield me from his gaze. My toes curled over, wiggling over the crunchy grains.

“What are you looking at?” I snapped.

He scratched his head and grimaced. “Those.” He paused and pointed toward my breasts. “Hate to say it, but they will probably be a problem.”

My arms automatically flew up to cover my chest. I squeezed the sides of my body and flinched. “Funny, that’s the first time I’ve ever heard that.”

Though Xavier kept his mouth glued together, there was no mistaking the amusement in his eyes. Without saying a word, he reached into his backpack and pulled out a black short-sleeved shirt.

“Here, take this,” he said, holding it out for me.

Frowning, I took the stretchy spandex shirt into my hand. “What’s this?”

“It’s a rash guard. It’ll keep you from popping out when you wipe out, and believe me, you will wipe out.”

“But it’s big.”

He rolled his eyes. “Just tie it in the back. I apologize for not asking for your size before our lesson. I had no idea you’d be wearing a string bikini your first time on the ocean.”

My face scrunched in anger. “Hey! It would have helped if you told me what to expect. We’re going in the water; hence I wore my bathing suit.”

“It looks like a wash cloth held together by thread,” he replied dully.

Knowing full well that I wouldn’t win the argument, I threw the trash bag looking shirt over my head and proceeded to knot it in the back. “There. Happy?”

He nodded his head and began to circle me like a vulture staring at his prey.

“Can you please stop it? You’re making me dizzy,” I snapped in annoyance.

Ignoring me, he lifted his chin. “Today we’re going to cover the basics. I’ll just teach you how to be safe out there.”

“Meaning I don’t have to go into the water?” I asked, brimming with hope.

He stopped moving and frowned. “What is your problem with the ocean? Did anything happen to you when you were younger?”

“I just fear the unknown, okay?” I watched as the huge California waves broke against the shore, the ocean’s loud crash sounding like deafening cymbals. “You can’t blame me for not wanting to dip into a black hole, can you?”

“Is it safe to assume there’s a metaphor to life thrown somewhere in there?”

“Ha, ha.” I shut my eyes and sighed. “Well, let’s just get this over with then. No use prolonging the pain.”

I kept my eyes shut, trying my best to steady my nervous breaths. Suddenly, Xavier’s hand squeezed my shoulder, prompting my eyes to widen.

“Listen, I’ll take it easy on you, okay? If you’re scared, just tell me and we’ll pull back.” Xavier leaned forward, his eyes peering intently into mine.

I remained silent, unable to pry my gaze from his. Realizing I was staring, I took a step back and inhaled deeply. “Okay, let’s go.”

“You really ready?” he asked a bit doubtfully.

I nodded, glancing at the ocean. “It’s time I take back my life. Hate to say it, but this seems to be the first step.”

“Okay, first lesson of the day—trust.”

“Trust in the ocean?” I asked curiously. I pointed toward the board. “Or trust in that thing?”

Xavier smiled. “Trust in me. You can’t learn if you don’t trust your teacher.”

“Well, I trust you,” I replied awkwardly, pulling at the hem of my rash guard.

“You sure?”

Gulping, I nodded my head. “Yeah, I don’t know why, but I do.”

A grin crept from ear to ear. “Good.”

***

Hours passed, and after many wipeouts and a board to the nose, I finally mastered the art of sitting up on my surfboard. Sure, it was probably the most basic of moves, but to me it was the equivalent of landing on the moon.

After a half hour of bobbing along with the currents, I lugged my surfboard to the shore, dropping it onto the sand. I pushed a strand of wet hair from my face and grinned at my teacher. “Hate to say it, but you are a miracle worker. I can’t believe I actually floated in the middle of the ocean!”

His answering grin sent an unwarranted flutter of butterflies to my stomach. “Can’t say I disagree. You did pretty good out there.”

“I guess. I mean, I didn’t stand up or anything.”

“Ah, it’s the first lesson. Tomorrow I’ll have you popping up in no time.”

I undid my leash, stepping back to allow Xavier room to grab my board. His triceps rippled as he perched the gigantic board against his waist. I quickly looked away to prevent myself from ogling. “Really? You think so?”

With a mischievous twinkle in his eye, he grinned. “Of course we’ll cheat a little.”

“How?”

“I’ll push you into the waves. That way all you have to do is worry about keeping your balance. You don’t have to worry about timing waves or anything.”

My lips formed a circle. “If you can do that, why am I trying to learn this stuff?”

“Well, remember, you’re not gonna have someone pushing you into every wave for the rest of your life.”

“It’s not like I want to do this forever.” I pushed my bottom lip out into a pout. “Can’t we just do this while filming?”

“And do you expect our low budget indie movie to have the means to CGI me out?” With a shake of his head, he laughed and grabbed onto my arm. “Come on. Let’s get you home. I’m pretty sure you’re still jet-lagged, no?”

As if on cue, I let out a yawn and nodded. “Need to get some sleep for lesson number two, right?”

“Tomorrow will be easier, I promise.”

Chapter 10

Day two of Surfing 101 went even better than the first. It’s funny to think that just a few short weeks ago I was horrified at the prospect of California surf. Now as I sat on my board, flicking my fingers in the water and staring at my “silent chauffeur,” I realized just how wrong I was.

I gazed into the horizon, admired the bright blue of the sky, and let out a relaxed sigh. Maybe Xavier was right. All things happened for a reason. When certain situations start off dark, it only meant the sun was right around the corner. Rain was necessary for flowers to grow, right? I guess a change of perspective was all I needed.

The water was still with no wind in sight. The hot sun bore down on our shoulders, making me glad that I had slathered about three coats of sunblock on my fair skin. This time I learned my lesson and wore a sturdier one piece, cringing at the tan lines I’d inevitably get.

I glanced down at Xavier, who was floating on his back beside my board. “What do you do when there are no waves?”

“Suffer. Cry. Die a little inside.”

I let out a puff of air from my nostrils. “A bit overdramatic, no?”

“Hey, surfing is life.” His dark eyes peered at me from the corners. “At least for some of us it is.”

“Okay…” Knowing full well that any lull would result in Xavier’s continued silence, I pressed on, craving conversation. “What else do you do with your life? Surfing can’t be the only thing. Do you go home to your wife and have an awesome TV marathon on weekends?”

Smooth, Harper. Way to show him you’re interested.

Wait one second—I was interested in him? Sure he was hot and all, but after all the trouble I’ve gotten myself into with my love life—or lack thereof—I really didn’t need to add to it. Especially not with someone I worked with. Not again, anyway.

To my surprise, Xavier answered quite calmly. “No wife, but I do veg out and binge on my favorite shows when there’s nothing else to do.”

Okay, good. Let’s just talk about something as mundane as TV.

“Like what?”

“
Joy In and Joy Out
.” He looked up at me and smirked at my shocked face.

“Are you serious?” I squeaked.

“Why else do you think we cast you? Ariah was my favorite character.”

I didn’t know whether to feel mortified or flattered that he was a fan of
that
show. I gulped. “So I guess you saw…”

“The big accident that killed her off?” He nodded. “Yeah, I thought that was a cop out. It was so unbelievably…
stupid.”

“Good to know I’m not the only one who thinks so…” My voice trailed off, picturing the rig production had set up to make it appear that Ariah had plummeted straight off a cliff. The whole idea behind it was morbid considering it was supposed to be a fun, college-based sitcom.

A splash sounded beside me and soon Xavier went back to treading water. He glanced up, shooting me a look of pity that I had once seen on my old castmates’ faces. Well, everyone except Coby, that is.

“Seriously, Harper. I wouldn’t be surprised if that one event caused the show to jump the shark.”

Despite my knowledge of the entertainment phrase that merely meant “went downhill,” I didn’t think the ocean was the best place to mention the sharp-toothed animal. I glanced around, almost worried that he had somehow conjured the beast up. “Um, can we not mention a S-H-A-R-K?”

“They don’t understand English, Harper.” He laughed. “You can say—”

“Don’t even think about it.”

“Shark.” He shot me a wink and began to laugh, but all jubilation ceased when a rumbling in the distance caught his attention. “Looks like we have a rogue wave. Are you ready?”

I gulped, but nodded. “I doubt that I’ll be able to stand, but you know, whatever.”

Xavier’s face brightened. “This
will
be the one you catch. Trust me. Don’t hesitate. When you feel the urge, stand up.”

“Okay,” I murmured meekly.

Xavier took his place behind me, and once the wave began to peak, he gripped the edge of the board and pushed it forward. Then it happened. I felt as if my board was being held, cradled almost.

“Don’t hesitate,” I whispered to myself. Without a second thought, I pressed my hands against the board and jumped into a standing position. The water loomed under me, and knowing full well that nerves would cause me to crash, I murmured, “You’re not on water…you’re just doing yoga at the studio.”

And just like that, I found myself back to shore, though I practically took a nosedive on the sand as my board skidded to a stop. Caught by surprise and disbelief, I merely stood by my board in shock. 

Xavier swam up behind me and ran toward the shore with a proud smile on his face.

“You did it!” he exclaimed, brimming with excitement.

“I…uh…” I shook my head, still shaking from the adrenaline. “That was cheating. I didn’t catch that by myself, remember?”

“Eh.” He shrugged. “Tit for tat. We’ll get you there soon enough.”

“If you say so.” I sighed and shut my eyes, once again feeling the familiar pangs of self-doubt. “Why did I get cast? You should have hired someone who knows how to do this already.”

“Your resume said you did,” he pointed out.

Damn, Robert.

I smiled in embarrassment, but before I could respond, Xavier was already on his knees undoing my surf leash.

“Why don’t we get something to eat?” he asked as my stomach began to growl frighteningly. He laughed. “Don’t need to tell you that I’m hungry.”

“Sure,” I replied flatly, knowing perfectly well that my appetite hadn’t been around in weeks.

***

“Have you ever thought about moving away from California?” I took a sip of my soup, leaned back into my chair, and took a relaxing breath. The sound of silverware clattering against the ceramic dishes was oddly comforting. Not counting the weird gluten free health food I was shoveling into my mouth, the restaurant felt a bit like my favorite one back in New York.

Xavier took a gulp of his water and shook his head. “I’ve gone and traveled the world before, but I would never leave California. There’s nothing better than waking up to seventy degree weather every morning with hardly a chance of rain.”

“Droughts don’t sound like fun to me,” I quipped.

“They’re not, but you’ll always have the ocean.”

We ate silently for a moment, but unlike before, it was a bit comforting. I was quickly learning that Xavier was a bit of an introvert and needed silence to recharge. It actually made the times he did speak to me a bit more meaningful. 

Xavier poked at his tofu cubes and grimaced. “You know, this health food has nothing on my sister’s store.”

“Oh? She owns a restaurant? Guess you Greenes really have your life together, huh?”

Wish I could say the same about me.

“Kinda, sorta. Funny thing is she started off in the food truck business with her husband, Miles and then—”

“Harper Montgomery?” a girlish voice squeaked. To my dismay I spotted a gaggle of girls walking in my direction. I bit back a groan as they surrounded my table. This “fan” interaction could easily go one of two ways.

“Um, yes. That’s me.” I plastered a forced grin onto my face and eyed the group. Had it been months earlier I would have loved the attention, but now I was often wary that the attention wasn’t the good kind. “Can I help you?”

A petite redhead that couldn’t have been older than nineteen ran up to me and threw her arms around my shoulders. I stiffened slightly and noticed Xavier start to rise protectively. I shook my head, gesturing for him to take his seat, and patted the girl on the back.

“Oh, sorry!” The girl quickly jumped away. Her cheeks burned a bright red. “I didn’t mean to invade your space.”

“No, it’s cool. It’s really nice to meet people who actually want to meet me.” I let out a strained laugh as the girl continued to blush.

“No, you don’t get it. It’s awesome to see somebody who looks like me make it, you know?” She tugged at her red hair as if to make a point. “It’s a bit encouraging.”

Xavier and I caught eyes and simultaneously relaxed.

“Oh? But I hardly made it,” I told her with a smile.

“Psh.” The girl rolled her eyes. “If you’re talking about all that bullshit that went down in the tabloids,
everyone
knows those stories are fake.”

I pressed my lips together firmly. If only that were true.

“Can I take a picture with you? My friends over here would like one too, but some of them are too
chicken shit
to ask.” She paused and glared at her three friends, who were gawking at Xavier. Considering he looked like a tanned Greek god, I couldn’t really blame them.

“Or just smart enough to spot a pretty good looking guy,” I mumbled without realizing I had said it out loud.

Xavier’s cheeks reddened, as did the cheeks of the shy teens. Xavier hurriedly cleared his throat. “Um, give me a camera. I’ll take the photo.”

My fan nodded her head shyly and handed him her phone. After a few awkward takes and retakes, I signed some autographs and bid the girls adieu. Xavier looked off into the distance, shaking his head as they walked away.

“What?” I asked with laughter. “You don’t like being gawked at?”

“Not necessarily. No offense, but I’m not sure why anyone would want that.” He looked at me pointedly.

I frowned, feeling a bit insulted. “What do you mean?

“I don’t know how someone would like people knowing who they are wherever she went,” he explained. “Besides, fame can always blow up in your face. Look what happened to you…” His eyes widened. “Sorry. I didn’t mean…”

I crossed my arms and tightened my lips. Maybe a quiet Xavier was better after all. “So you like blending into the boring background instead? Sorry, but that kind of life seems unfulfilling to me
.
”

“To a certain extent,” he clarified. “I want to be known because of my accomplishments, not because I act in a famous show.”

Okay, now I was really offended.

I slammed my hand against the table. “Hey! Acting is still an accomplishment. Do you know how hard it is to make a character believable? I’d like to see your smart ass try it.”

He bowed his head in apology. “I digress. I guess what I mean to say is that imagining my face on people’s walls or my pictures on sticky magazines in the bathroom—”

“Gross,” I mumbled.

“—it’s just not my kind of thing, you know?”

I propped my chin onto my fist and narrowed my eyes. “So what is your thing? If you’re so against Hollywood and show business, why are you in it?”

He stretched his arms in the air, showcasing his flexing biceps. My eyes trailed after them hungrily, and I could almost imagine myself licking every inch of his arm. I immediately averted my eyes, feeling disgusted with myself.

He insults you and you still find him cute? Maybe you do deserve all the shit that was dealt to you. You have no self-worth.

He tapped his fingers melodically on the table before answering. “I’m in it because it’s fulfilling; because it’s fun organizing, budgeting, and making sure everything is on schedule.”

“Ah, so you’re Type A.” I shoved some more of the bland tasting food into my mouth, choking it down.

He arched an eyebrow. “You say it like it’s a bad thing.”

“I’m not saying that at all,” I shot back, feeling my irritation pique. “I just think that as someone who lives in the most laid back place of all, I’d imagine you to be a little less…”

“What?” he asked suspiciously.

“Uptight.”

He tilted his head and smirked. “You sound like my sister.”

For some reason the comment caused my stomach to twist uncomfortably. I dropped my eyes, busying myself with my soup.

“What about you?” he asked quietly.

“What about me?”

“Don’t you like order in your life?”

I winced, thinking about the turmoil that had become my life. God knew a little order could probably help me out a bit. “I do. In fact, I think I need it.”

“Then why do I feel like you’re making fun of me?”

My mouth dropped open. “I’m not.”

He chuckled. “Oh, really? Then you really
are
a great actress.”

I threw him a sneer. “Honestly, I guess I’m a bit jealous.”

“Of me? Wow!” He leaned over, peering at me intently. Wait, not even
at
me, it was as if he were staring
through
me. “I’ve never had anybody jealous of me…well, maybe Ka—”

“Can I get you anything else?” Our server asked, suddenly appearing out of nowhere. Xavier and I both jumped a bit, startled.