On Wings of the Morning (22 page)

The flames swept up around him. Otto closed his eyes. He did not feel the heat. He felt nothing.

He opened his eyes. He expected to feel pain from his burns, but he felt all right. All he saw was white, and at first he thought he was in a hospital ward. But no, he was standing. Somehow he was standing. As he became more aware of his circumstances, he saw that he was in a medium-sized windowless white room. There were no lights, but the walls themselves were luminous. A door stood in the wall across from him, so he went over, opened it and stepped outside.

He was in a small, carefully cultivated garden. The air was soft and fragrant with the scents of flowers he did not recognize. And there, seated at a small table with two chairs, sat his father, wearing a long white robe. He wasn’t the old man Otto remembered: he looked like the pictures taken during the war. And he was smiling.

He gestured to Otto. “
Kommen Sie
, Otto. Be seated. We have much to talk about.” He did not speak out loud, but Otto heard the words in his head.

Bewildered, Otto took the chair across from his father. “Papa, is that you? And is this—“

Hans put his hand on Otto’s shoulder. “Yes, ist me, Otto. And this is whatever you think it is.”

“It’s very nice…and am I--?”

Hans shook his head. “Nein, you are not dead. Why you are here I do not know. But you must return to your life. You have much left to do.”

Otto sat quietly for a moment. “And what do you do here?”

Hans laughed heartily. “I tend die Kühe, of course! It is what I do best!”

“But why do you have cows here? Do you need to eat?”

“We don’t need to, but it is pleasurable, so we do it.”

“This is unreal.”

“I assure you, mein Kind, that this is far more real than what you call reality.”

“How?”

“My cows are never sick and they never die. I have to tend them, but you know I love mein kinen. They are fed and milked.”

“Milked?”

“Yes, and I cannot tell you how or why, but in doing this I enable cows in your reality to produce milk and feed hungry children.”

“So you have a purpose here.”

“Yes, and so do you, dear Otto. That is why you must return, to play out your purpose until it is your time to join me here. Me and all our relatives.”

“Where are they?”

“In your partial state here you cannot see them, but they are here.”

“And what is my purpose, Papa?”

“I think you know, Otto.” The figure of his father wavered and gradually grew transparent.

“Auf weidersehen, mein Sohn. Take care of your mother and sister…” and he was gone.

Otto sat at the table for a few more seconds. Wow. This must be some load of morphine they had him on. Soon he would wake up. He closed his eyes.

When he opened his eyes, he saw all white again. He thought he was back in the white room, but he felt tremendous pain all over his body. He reached up with his hands, which were wrapped in some sort of cloth, and put them to his eyes. There was a soft covering over his eyes. That was why he saw white. He called out, “Help me! Help me, please!”

He heard a rapid click of footsteps and felt someone by his side. He was lying on a bed.

A soft voice spoke, “All right, Lieutenant. Are you having pain? Nod your head if you are.”

My God, Otto thought, am I ever having pain. His whole body felt like it was on fire. He nodded his head as best he could and the pain became more intense in his neck when he moved.

“I’ll increase your drip, then.”

He heard the clink of metal against metal, felt something cold flowing into the vein in his arm. Darkness reached up and took over the whiteness.

***

Otto felt like he was swimming in a dark sea. He thought he turned his head upward and he could see the surface of the water as a brighter glow. He swam upward, noting with bemusement that he could breathe underwater. These must be some strong drugs, he thought. He made a long slow climb toward the light, surfacing, breaking the water.

The pain slipped in again, about as bad as before. He opened his eyes and saw darkness this time. He called out, “Is anyone there?” His voice was muffled and his lips flared with pain as he moved them to speak.

He heard the same rapid footsteps and then the soft voice. “I’ll increase your drip, Lieutenant.”

“Don’t put me totally out. Where am I?”

“You’re in the hospital. You were badly burned in the crash. You need to lie quietly and rest.”

“What about my crew?”

“They were all rescued. They’ll be in to see you when you’re feeling better.”

Otto felt the darkness creeping up on him again but he fought it. He was barely conscious when he heard heavier footsteps and the voice of what must have been a doctor.

“How’s he doing?”

“He’s in and out. He’s on a lot of morphine. I don’t think he’ll make it.”

“All right. What a shame. Keep him comfortable and inform me if there are any major changes.”

“I will, doctor.”

Otto slipped into dark dreams. He was back in his fifth grade classroom. Miss Smith was there, looking stern, and Dr. Carter, who appeared to be very sad, and his father, who sat with his arms folded. Miss Smith spoke first:

“I warned you not to have anything to do with airplanes. They are death machines. But you wouldn’t listen, would you, Otto? Now look where you are! Well, you’ll never fly again!”

Dr. Carter nodded. “That’s right, Otto. Even if you recover from your burns you won’t be able to hold the controls. I told you what happened to my son. But you persisted. And you see what it got you.”

His father looked at him sternly. “You should have been a dairy farmer like me, Otto. I should not have let you go to that airport so much. Now who will help run the farm? Your mother and sister are struggling. And you will be no good to them, if you survive.”

His last words echoed, “If you survive…”

***

Otto opened his eyes. He saw white and knew that it must be day. “Is anyone there?” he called. The pain was perhaps a bit less intense, but still present, still burning all over his body. He was hungry.

The nurse came up to his side. “Yes, lieutenant. Are you in pain?”

“Yes,” he said, “but I’m hungry. Can I have something to eat?”

“What would you like?”

“Some applesauce and milk, please.”

“I’ll check with the doctor to see if it’s all right. You’ll have surgery tomorrow.” She clicked off.

Otto tried turning his head from side to side. The pain shot through his neck. His skin felt so tight. He couldn’t imagine what he looked like. He shoved the thought out of his mind and tried to guess how many days had elapsed since the accident. His skin was itching where his beard had grown, so he supposed it had to have been several days at least. He couldn’t tell.

The nurse returned. “All right, Lieutenant. I have the applesauce. I’ll take some of the bandages off so I can feed you. Let me know if it hurts too much.”

“What’s your name, ma’am?”

“I’m Lieutenant Robinson.”

“I meant your first name.”

She hesitated. “It’s Doreen.”

“Pleased to meet you, Doreen. My name is Otto. Please call me that.”

“Well, all right, Lieu—Otto.” He could feel the bandages being unwound from around his jaw. “Open your mouth.”

Otto did so, and pain coursed through his mouth and lips. He felt the cool sweetness of the applesauce and the metallic taste of the spoon. The food tasted wonderful. It was worth the pain to have it in his mouth.

“Is that all right, Otto?”

“Yes, Doreen, it tastes very good.”

“OK. And now some milk. I’ll put the straw in your mouth.”

Otto thought that milk never tasted so good. He sucked the cold liquid and felt it cool his mouth and throat. Everything else on him felt as if it were burning up.

“How badly am I burned?”

“You’re burned over 50% of your body. We thought you weren’t going to make it. You’ll stay here for a while and then we’ll send you back to the States. I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to have a number of surgeries to remove dead skin. It’s a painful procedure.”

“What do I look like?”

“I’ll let you judge that for yourself, Lieutenant, when the time comes.”

That didn’t sound good. Otto fell back on the pillow. “May I have some more morphine?” The pain was starting to build.

“Certainly, Lieutenant.” He felt the familiar coldness creep up his arm and then he felt nothing at all.

***

Doreen removed the bandages from his eyes a couple of days later. She had dark hair, bright green eyes and a small, pretty face. Otto’s vision took a while to clear. He was in a bay separated by white curtains from other beds in what seemed to be a large ward. Other soldiers lay in their beds, wrapped from head to toe as he was.

“Are all these fellows burned?” he asked Doreen.

She nodded as she adjusted his IV. “Yes. This is the burn unit. You’re in the hospital in Taunton.” Most of the soldiers lay still. Some groaned from time to time. I know why, Otto thought. His skin felt tight all over his body. Doreen said that was scar tissue forming.

“Would you like to see your crew?”

“Yes, very much.”

“I’ll let them know. They can come in this afternoon. Now, they’ll be shocked when they see you, but they’ve asked about you every day since you’re been here.”

“How long have I been here? I’ve lost track of time.”

“About two weeks.”

“And my parents and sister? Do they know?”

“They were notified only that you were injured. You can write them or I can write a letter for you.”

“Thank you. I’d like that.”

“All right, lieutenant. Try to rest now.”

“Doreen?”

“Yes?”

“Has a British Red Cross worker named Alice been here?”

“Oh, your girlfriend? Yes, she’s been here every waking moment that she could. She has helped with your care. She’ll come in this afternoon after your crew. I sent her home to get some sleep. She’s quite stricken with you.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Now get some rest. That’s an order.”

“Yes, ma’am, I will.” Otto lay back on the pillow and drifted off into sleep again.

“Lieutenant? Lieutenant Kerchner?”

Otto felt like he was at the controls of the
Mata Maria.
They must be in a cloud bank because all he could see was white around him. He reached for his throat mike but felt a soft material. He pressed it anyway. “Identify yourself by position, crew.”

There was a moment’s hesitation and then he felt a hand on his shoulder. “Lieutenant, it’s me. Bob. Bob Donovan, your co-pilot.”

The fog bank cleared, and he saw Donovan’s face looking at him, and, standing behind him, the rest of the crew, looking young and afraid. “How are you, sir?”

“I’m doing as well as expected. How are all of you?”

They greeted him with a chorus of “Fine…never better…doing great…”

“So,” Otto said, “How do I look?”

“Like a mummy,” Riley piped up. “We’re glad you’re alive, sir, don’t cha know?”

Robinson elbowed Riley. “Actually, sir, we came by when you were out and you had those white pads over your eyes. We said you looked like Little Orphan Annie.”

“Well,’ leapin’ lizards,’ Robinson.” He turned sober. “It must have been a pretty bad crash.”

“It was,” Detwiler said, holding his hat in his hands. “We saw pictures of what was left of the wreck. There wasn’t much. It was all burned up.”

“Sir,” Riley offered, “We want to thank you for what you did.”

“What did I do?”

“You held the aircraft up so we could jump out. We were all picked up and on boats within ten minutes. If you hadn’t stayed with the ship, who knows what would have happened. We’re sorry you were injured.”

Otto grimaced. “Just a little bad luck and some so not so good pilotage. And a contribution from battle damage. I think it was a good landing because I was able to walk away from it. Or, more accurately, be carried away.”

Donovan regarded him gravely. “You’re getting the Distinguished Flying Cross for what you did. The colonel is coming in tomorrow to give it to you. We all got commendations, but you’re the real hero. We were just doing our jobs.”

“So was I,” Otto returned. He felt a wave of weakness come over him and closed his eyes for how long he didn’t know.

He opened them again. “You’ll have to excuse me, fellas. I need to rest. Thanks for coming by.”

The crew looked at the floor and shuffled off, murmuring good-byes and promises to return.

Nurse Robinson came in and increased his drip. Whiteness overtook him again.

***

“Otto? Otto? Wake up, my darling.” The voice was soft and melodious and in his state, Otto thought it the voice of an angel.

He felt the soft pressure of a body leaning over his and the warmth of a face close to his bandaged head. Lithe fingers removed the pads from his eyes.

Alice. It was lovely Alice come to see him. Tears filled his eyes. His eyes came into focus and there she was, smiling at him while tears ran down her cheeks.

“Alice, is it really you?”

She looked at him with those deep blue eyes. “Yes, Otto, it’s me. I’ve been here before, but you were asleep. How are you feeling, darling?”

“Well, I’ve been having a lot of pain, but right now I feel great. Sit beside me and just let me look at you.”

She pulled up a chair and sat beside the bed, holding his bandaged hand. “You’re quite the hero, you know.”

“I don’t know why. I lost the ship.”

“But you saved your crew. Aircraft can be replaced.”

“Alice, will you tell me something.”

“Anything, my love.”

“How do I look? I know I have to be scarred, but how bad is it?”

“I haven’t seen, Otto. I can ask to be here when your bandages are changed. I’m sure you’re handsome as ever.”

“They tell me I will have to have several surgeries to cut away the dead skin.”