Once Upon a Shifter (51 page)

I gasped and covered my hot face with my hands, desperately wanting to run from the room, but Jaxon was standing in the doorway, and looking at him right now would almost be worse than looking at Phoenix.

Seconds, minutes, maybe even days passed before I looked back up, and when I did, Phoenix was staring at me with his brow furrowed and his lips puckered. Thinking. Of course, the man was thinking at a time like this.

"She's only thirty, Phoenix. Just a baby, still. I just stopped by to let you know that I just saw your text. We still going out?"

Without taking his eyes from me, Phoenix nodded. "Shut the door and leave us, Jaxon."

Oh, God! I don't want to be alone with him anymore!
I screamed inside my head. Where was the anger I felt for him earlier? I needed that back! Now!

Jaxon chuckled lightly. "Have fun, you two."

The door clicked shut.

Chapter 23

Mena

With his eyes on me, I couldn't seem to concentrate on anything, especially bringing back the anger I had felt toward him earlier.

Why was I upset with him again?

Heat rushed up my neck when he took another step in my direction, and my eyes fell to stare at his feet as they moved.

"Look at me," he whispered, and without thinking, my eyes began to travel slowly from his feet up his long legs. The end of the towel was about an inch above his knees, and my eyes roamed farther up the dark green of the towel until they fixated on his hips and the large bulge that hadn't been there when he'd issued from the bathroom.

I looked away, embarrassed to have been caught staring at his erection.

Warm fingers caressed the skin under my chin. I didn't jerk away from him. I had never been afraid of Phoenix. He was possibly the only thing in the world that I wasn't afraid of.

Safe. Yes, he made me feel safe.

His fingers moved lightly over my neck and up to my ear where he tucked the hair that was curtaining my face. I was exposed to him now.

I felt his breath, warm against my skin as he whispered softly by my ear. "I love when you look at me, Mena." I shivered. "When you look at me, I know that I am the only thing you are thinking about. Want to know a secret?" I nodded, and could hear his lips slide over his teeth as he grinned. "Even when I'm not looking at you, I'm thinking about you. To tell you the truth, it's a bit maddening to know that you have this much control over me, but for the time being, I'm enjoying you being in my every thought."

I swallowed hard and found my voice. "And what will happen when you don't enjoy it anymore?"

He snickered, sending chills up my body from the feel of the light pulse of his breath expelling from his nose on my neck. "I think it is a feeling I will have to get used to, for I fear not having you in my every thought terrifies me more than anything I have ever encountered."

I sighed. "I'm supposed to be mad at you—"

"How's that working out for you? Do you really want to be mad at me or are you just afraid you will be happy with me if you let yourself be?"

I took a step back and looked up to meet his eyes. "I am afraid to be happy, Phoenix. If you haven't noticed, each time I have allowed myself even a little happiness, something takes it away from me. I have lost so much, and it scares me to death to think you might be the one ripped out of my life next." My voice shook as I admitted one of my greatest fears, but what was even more frightening was the fact that I hadn't known that was why I didn't want to get any closer to Phoenix until now.

I choked on a sob and felt his arms close around me. "Shh… I'm not going anywhere, Mena. You can't push people away just because you're afraid to lose them. That's an absurd plan." He released me enough so his hands could come up to frame my face, then he let his forehead fall against mine as a heavy breath escaped through his parted lips. "Let me in, Mena. I promise that I will always be here with you."

What was he saying? That he wanted to be with me forever? Did I want that? I couldn't bear the thought of him not being here, but…

"My wolf."

He shrugged. "What about her?"

I pulled away and he let me go, but stared at me with sad eyes. He knew what I was going to say. "You can't promise me something like that when you know yourself that it's not true. You know as well as I do that, if my wolf decides to kill you, you are just going to let her do it. I can't live with that on my conscience, Phoenix. We—" I looked away as my eyes filled with fresh, hot tears. "We cannot be together unless you are willing to kill her if she attempts to take your life. Those are my terms and there will be no negotiations."

He blew out a breath through puffed out cheeks and put his hands on his hips. "Okay."

I blinked the tears away and just stared at him. "Okay?" I said.

He nodded. "Yeah, of course, it will be the whole Romeo and Juliet scene revamped, but I'll do it."

He was going to kill himself after he saw me dead. That was not what I wanted. "No! You can't—"

"Do you think I would be able to live with myself if I ever had to kill you?" he said. "Even if it's just to be rid of her? I've lived for over eight centuries and you are the one true and real thing I have ever found, Mena. Nothing else matters," he finished quietly, his eyes begging my mind to understand what my heart already knew.

"Back to that Catch-22, I guess."

"Yeah." He exhaled, and his voice was full of defeat and exhaustion as he ran a hand through his wet hair. It appeared black in its dampness. "I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't."

"I don't think I can do this knowing what you will do afterward."

"That figures," he said sarcastically. "I really don't know why I thought I would matter to the only person in this world I have ever wanted. I don't know why I expected anything more."

I wanted to scream at him that he did matter to me, but he turned and strode toward a walk-in closet. "You can take a bath if you like. I had Lea stock it with girly things for you. I'm going out with a crew for a little while."

"Where are you going?" I said, but he ignored my question.

"You might want to get some sleep. The bed is yours. I won't be back until right before dawn. I'll let Rhodes know my address, so he can pick you up in the morning."

I took a step forward. "When do you plan to talk to Alex?"

He didn't answer me; he just left me standing in front of the fireplace and shut himself inside the closet to get dressed.

I felt like someone was trying to rip my heart from my chest, but I refused to cry over something that hadn't happened yet. I wanted to feel anger that he was leaving me here to go do God only knew what, but all I felt was sadness that our argument ended on a flat note. Neither of us would concede tonight and I was too tired to fight with him.

I gathered some clothes for comfort from my suitcase and went into Phoenix's bathroom to take a bath.

Damn! It smelled just like him.

Chapter 24

Alex

Alex casually tapped a finger on the coffee cup that was warming his hands.

He had already finished with his short stack, but he watched in amazement as Roel, Brad and Heath polished off their third plate each.

Roel lifted his arm in the air, signaling to the waitress that he was ready for his forth serving.

Alex bit back the 'Where the hell do you put it?' and took a sip of coffee instead.

At his refusal to go to the Waffle House, Heath had gladly driven them to the International House of Pancakes. Not a great improvement, but at least the food was edible and didn't taste like grease.

With a piece of bacon between his thumb and index finger, Brad pointed at Alex with his middle finger as he chewed the food in his mouth. "You know what, Cop?" He swallowed and took a drink of orange juice before continuing on. "We like you.
Humph!
—"

Heath slapped him in the chest with the back of his hand, but smiled as he said, "Speak for yourself, asshole. I haven't made up my mind yet."

Brad grimaced as he rubbed his sternum.

"Why am I here?" Alex said. "I know it's not because you thought I might be hungry, not at nearly two o'clock in the morning. Did Mena send you three to get me to do some sort of initiation to see if I can be trusted to keep her secrets? Because, I gotta say, I'm beginning to re-think things, so all this isn't really necessary."

Roel's fork clattered to the plate, and all three guys stared at Alex with their eyes wide and their mouths agape. "Does Mena know this?" Roel finally asked.

Alex shook his head. "I'm no fool. I know she only kissed me to get me to help her—"

"No, really she didn't, Cop," Brad said. "She actually doesn't want you involved at all, and that's because what we're doing is dangerous and she doesn't want you to get hurt. And… because you would only get in our way. She thought if you refused to give the case to someone else, that you would be better off right in the middle of everything so we could protect you. If you're really thinking of backing out, you need to be clear about your answer and tell us now."

"Why?" Alex said. "Why can't I just tell her when we have lunch tomorr—" he looked at his timepiece, "—today?"

Roel's phone beeped, and he picked it up off the table to read the text message. "Phoenix said he'll be ready to meet in twenty minutes." He wiped his mouth with a napkin and tossed it on the empty plate.

Alex sat up a little straighter in his seat. "What? What are you planning to do in twenty minutes?"

They all stared at him for a long moment, then Heath finally said, "We're going to talk with an old friend about Katie's murderer. Wanna come? Or are you still on the fence about what that kiss really meant?"

He didn't even have to think about it. "I'm coming."

V''''V

Mena

I felt a bit better as I stepped out of Phoenix's huge Jacuzzi tub, relaxed and clean. Today hadn't been a good one, but I was willing to try and make at least one of the problems in my life right.

After quickly dressing in my pajamas and twisting my damp hair up in a clippie, I opened the door of the bathroom and walked into Phoenix's main chamber.

He wasn't waiting for me. Had he left already, without saying goodbye? Surely not.

Looking left, toward the closed closet door, I frowned when I didn't hear anything from within.

"Phoenix?" I said.

No response.

Maybe he was in the house somewhere, I thought, and made my way to the door.

The knob turned freely in my hand, but wouldn't budge when I tried to pull it open. My eyes bulged in surprise, and I jerked on the thing as my temper rose. He had locked me in his room!

"Phoenix!" I yelled, and then slapped the thick wood of the door with my palm. "Let me out of here!"

He had really left.

As I stood there, fuming and completely bewildered that he wouldn't trust me in his house alone, it occurred to me that he thought I might escape the compound altogether, and that pissed me off even more.

Doing something childish, like destroying his room, came to mind, but I doubted that would upset him; he would just have someone else clean up the mess and replace anything I broke.

Spotting my cell phone on the bed, I rushed and grabbed it up, intending to give him a piece of my mind—

"Put the phone down, Mena,"
my wolf said.

"Don't talk to me," I snapped. "You siding with him is what got me locked in this room in the first place." I could feel her attempt to take away my anxiety, but I gave a rough mental shove and put a stop to her intrusion. "And stop messing with my emotions!" I screamed. "I
want
to be mad at you!"

"Just calm down and listen to me."

I stomped my foot and growled in frustration. "I don't want to hear anything you have to say, bitch! I just want to be angry. Please, just let me have that much control right now." I could feel the tears welling up, and I knew I was about to cry. For the first time in, well, forever, I saw that as a good thing; she was giving me what I asked for, my emotions back. I wiped at my cheeks as I sighed. "Thank you."

There was a brief moment of silence as she let me calm down on my own. I was shocked at how much better throwing a temper tantrum made me feel. I took in a deep breath and smiled a little.

"Mena, Phoenix isn't afraid you'll leave the house—he knows I won't let you—but he did suspect you would get the wrong idea and get angry. That was his way of getting even for you hurting his feelings."

My eyes popped wide at hearing her theory. "
I
hurt his feelings?" I said on a laugh. "You can't be serious. He's centuries old."

"He doesn't seem like the type to wear his heart on his sleeve, but, with you, it doesn't appear as though he can help it. Phoenix is enamored with you and you keep pushing him away."

I plopped down in a chair by the fireplace. "Only because I don't want you to kill him."

I heard a heavy sigh and sensed that she was rolling her nonliteral eyes at me.
"Fine. I won't kill him, not unless he really, really pisses me off. I'm sorry for stirring up trouble in Phoenixland. It just gets boring in here with only your thoughts to keep me company. I'm sure you understand."

What was I going to do with her?

"Can I have your word on that? However much that's worth," I mumbled to myself as I rolled my eyes.

"If I say it, you can believe it,"
she said.

"Well, if Phoenix wasn't worried about me leaving the compound, what the hell is he worried about?"