Once Upon a Twist (13 page)

“I’m not a woodcutter,” he said.

Ruby had figured as much, so she didn’t reply. No woodcutter she knew had a top-notch security system. 

“I’m a scientist. After the disease broke out, I was hired by the government.”

His gaze never left the fireplace and she was glad. The disbelief would have been all over her face. Then again, what he said would explain… a lot.

“Say I believe you.” Maybe it was wishful thinking, but she was willing to hear him out. “Why would telling me anything mean I had to be… killed?”

Jeremy’s hands tightened on the coffee mug. Turning to her, she wondered what was going on in his head. Remorse was clear in the way those eyes shadowed, which only confused her more.

“It’s not safe to tell you. The information approved to go worldwide about the disease was a diluted, edited version of the truth. The government feared if anyone knew what really happened it would cause an uproar.”

His jaw tightened. “Anyone who found out and they deemed untrustworthy… disappeared. Car crash, overdose, even a house fire. Ruby, I can’t let them do that to you. I. Won’t.”

His gaze latched onto hers and trapped her like a mouse. She couldn’t doubt the emotion behind the words, the pain he was in. It was clear in his rigid jaw, his tense frame, that he held so much back. She could see from his tortured gaze that it was killing him. That deep down, he could feel more than she had thought him capable.

What he told her, it all made sense. His trips across country with little information, his disappearances from his bed some nights, the clipped phone calls he’d take in another room when she was with him. And she’d thought he’d been having an affair!

But women didn’t hug random men, not the way the brunette had the day Ruby visited Jeremy for the last time. He’d said nothing when she questioned him and accused him of betraying her. All he’d done was stand there looking like she’d stuck a knife into his chest and cut out his heart.

Sucking in a deep breath, she built up the courage she needed to ask. He was finally being honest, and she had to know. “That woman—”

Jeremy slammed the mug down on the table, coffee sloshing over the sides and onto the wood. The pain was gone, at least. “What the hell were you thinking? Like I could be with someone else? I saw it in your eyes.
You actually thought I wanted her!
”

Ruby’s eyes widened, she’d never seen him angry before, and it inflamed her own temper. “You were always distant, almost cold, what was I supposed to think? And she had her arms around you!”

After taking a deep breath, he spoke through his teeth. “She works for the government and had come to tell me my father was found dead. Overdose apparently.”

Ruby stared at him with parted lips. She’d been dead wrong. “Jer, I’m sorry. I…After all the secrets, after all the times you evaded my questions I thought…Then you didn’t even deny it. Didn’t tell me I was crazy. You let me believe you cheated on me. With her.”

***

A sob slipped out of her throat and Jeremy couldn’t stay away from her a second longer. He hated the distance between them, but as he crossed the room, hated himself even more for giving into his desire to be with her. It was the first time he’d seen her temper cool so quickly, and that alone told him more about the state of her emotions than anything.

He knelt in front of her but kept his hands to himself. Light from the fireplace danced over her pale face, highlighting a sprinkle of freckles over her nose. Freckles he knew dusted her shoulders, her back and lightly scattered her arms. His body heated, skin prickled, and his hands itched to touch her.

His guts twisted as his heart broke in two. He couldn’t have her again.

“I didn’t cheat on you, Re—Ruby. But I lied. Every day, and that was worse. I didn’t deserve you then, don’t now. Never will. I was a selfish bastard for wanting you. Still am.”

Shaking her head, she wiped away a stray tear. “I can’t believe I called you all those terrible things when you’d just found out your father had died. I’m so sorry.”

His temperature fell, a bitter taste formed in his mouth. He hadn’t been sorry to hear the news, only pissed that instead of helping Jeremy fix the mess they’d both made, his father had taken the easy way out.

“You must hate me,” she whispered, her gaze on her lap.

There was no way he could keep his hands to himself, not seeing her so shattered and guilty and taking blame for something that was all on him. Sliding his arms around her waist he pulled her onto the floor with him. Hugged her tight to his chest.

“I could never hate you,” he whispered.

The flames crackled in the fireplace as he held her. That cold part of him thawed as Red’s hands slid around his neck, massaged the back of his skull, her nose nuzzling against his collar bone. Inhaling the scent of lavender, he held her until she stopped shaking, then rose and carried her over to the sofa, sat her down.

“Is that all you’re allowed to tell me?” she asked.

“I won’t risk telling you more.”

Her forehead creased and he wanted to smooth away the lines. Lines the hurt he caused put there. Jeremy sat at the other end of the sofa so he wouldn’t do anything stupid. Torture, that’s what having her there and not being able to touch her was. Pure torture.  And no less than he deserved.

Red wrapped her arms around her waist and turned to stare at the flames. “I don’t understand, Jer. Why is the forest not swarming with agents hunting the wolf? Or are there more of you?”

He watched the flames twist and dance. “The wolf is a solitary creature. When they first discovered what happened, they sent fifty men here to hunt it down, but it vanished for months. We discovered that the wolf preferred to hunt people one by one, so they left and I stayed.”

He heard her swallow. “As bait.”

It wasn’t a question, so he didn’t answer. She already knew too much. The sooner the sun came up the better.

He felt Ruby’s gaze on him, but he didn’t allow himself to look at her.

“We need to get her to a hospital. She needs the cure.”

Pain sliced clean through his chest, kicking the breath from his lungs. This time he had to look, and her face was grim with determination. “Rube, I’m so sorry but we can’t take her anywhere.”

A spark lit in her eyes making them burn hotter than an inferno. “What?”

“The cure doesn’t work on those infected directly by the wolf.”

“You’re lying.” Though her voice was hard, hopeful, her eyes blurred with moisture and he hated to be the one to tell her. Hated that she had to suffer more.

Remorse turned over in his stomach, growing, consuming, sickening him. Jeremy shook his head. “I’m telling you the truth.”

“How do you know?” Her sharp tone was full of accusation. Accusation he damn well deserved.

“We’ve tried to heal them. The cure seems to melt those infected by the wolf from the inside out. It works faster than acid.” Jeremy shuddered, remembering the first person he’d tried to save. Bile rose in his throat.

“That…can’t be the only way. Tell me there’s another way.” She grabbed hold of his free hand. He squeezed, when all he wanted to do was pull her into his arms.

“I’m so sorry.” Jeremy’s eyes stung as he watched the anguish engulf her. “Rube, the kindest thing we can do now is end it for her before the change completes.”

Her lower lip trembled. “I don’t understand.”

The sides of his throat closed in. He had to force the words out. “Only death will stop her from changing.”

Chapter Four

Ruby’s breath came in short pants and her eyes blurred, her mind wrapped up in the horror of his words. They could leave Grandma to turn or end her life before it got that far.

She wanted so badly not to believe Jeremy. Wished there was another way. But he knew more about this than she did, plus she could tell from his tortured gaze how much it hurt him to tell her the truth.

A part of her preferred him hiding everything. Maybe being protected from the horrors of real life was the best way. It would save her from this fucked up, twisted situation, at least.

“Can I…?” Jeremy reached for her but he quickly pulled away. His brows were drawn and his lips tilted down.

She was numb, disgusted at what she was thinking about doing. Hated herself for being too scared to do it. Grandma had been—was—a good woman. She’d brought Ruby up when her parents had passed away and when Ruby had moved to her cottage in town, Grandma had helped her buy everything she needed. And what thanks had Ruby given her? She’d moved to the other side of the country and only called twice a week. The least she could do was save her from the change.

“I need to do it.” Bile burned her throat and she hugged herself tighter.

He nodded, but didn’t speak. She had to hold it together, needed to do this for the woman who had spent her life taking care of her, before Grandma… 

“Can you come with me?” she asked. The thought of doing it herself was too much to bear.

“You won’t be alone. Ruby, I could—”

“No,” she cut in. Even though every cell inside her screamed to let him do it. “No.”

Jeremy shifted on the cushions. This distance between them was killing her. With all she had seen tonight she needed help keeping it together. And when she’d been in his arms before, no matter how briefly, she had felt like the strength to deal with it all was in her reach. It had always been like that with him. Now she felt weak, tiny and lost.

Shifting closer, she hoped he’d take the hint. His eyes filled with longing, but a few blinks later the emotion disappeared. So quickly she wondered if she had imagined it.

Jeremy’s expression hardened. “I think we should call it a night.”

Ruby’s heart boomed to life and warmth spread through her cold veins. There was no denying it, she still wanted him. Right now she needed to feel alive, to forget what she had to do tomorrow. Between the sheets he was passionate and caring and it was the only time his emotions were easy to read.

“Okay.”

Jeremy rose. “I’ll put fresh sheets on the bed in the guest room.”

A lump lodged in her throat. She hadn’t counted on him not wanting her. Even when he had been distant toward her, his desire for her had always been strong. Had she killed his love?

“You ready?” he asked.

With a nod she followed him upstairs. After wresting clean sheets onto the duvet he hesitated by the door. Ruby went to him, wishing he’d change his mind and ask her to go to his room. When he cupped her face with his palms and stared into her eyes, hope blossomed.

“Don’t worry about tomorrow, okay? Concentrate on getting some rest. I’ll be with you and I’ll help any way you need me to. You don’t have to do this alone.”

The pressure of his palms eased, but she grabbed his wrists. “Jer, I don’t want to be alone.”

He broke away from her hold, his eyes darkening with heat and sadness. When his arms wrapped around her and pulled her close, her worries fell away. But the way he held her was platonic. Comforting, reassuring, and nothing like she wanted.

“I wish things were different. I wish you never had to go through any of this.” Jeremy’s breath brushed her still-damp hair.

“There’s no point wishing things were different. It’s what we do now that matters.”

He pulled away, brushed a kiss to her forehead then backed into the hall. “Get some rest. I’ll wake you before the sun comes up.”

The door closed behind him and panic froze her tongue. Her nerves rattled and her mind whirred with the thought of what she had to do when the sun came up. There was no way she could sleep. No way she’d get through the night alone. Visions of her grandma lying in a pool of her own blood filled her mind, making her stomach churn. With sweaty hands, she reached for the handle and pulled the door open.

***

Jeremy hadn’t made it into his room when Red’s bedroom door swung open. He’d lingered because leaving her there when he wanted to hold her all night had been agony. She bolted down the hall. He held out his hands to try and stop her from running him over, but she jumped and it was catch her or be tackled to the floor.

The instant she wrapped her arms around his neck sobs burst from her mouth. “I want to stay with you. I can’t…”

“Shhh. It’s okay, Rube.” He lifted her up, carried her into his room and closed the door behind them.

What he was doing was all kinds of fucked up, but he couldn’t leave her. Not tonight. Not after she’d found out she had to kill the only family she had left. And the selfish fuck that he was, he wanted her with him.

But he wouldn’t touch her like he used to. Holding her one last night would have to be enough. Tomorrow she’d go back to the city she moved to last year, back to her old life. She’d grieve her loss and move on. Maybe with a new man.

Jealousy burned through him and he hauled the covers back with more force than necessary. He needed to stop thinking about her with another man right the hell now. They slid into bed and she shuffled closer. His blood ran hot with anger and something else. The smell of lavender filled his senses.

Shifting to his side, he offered his arm for her to rest her neck on. He expected she’d curl up beside him, back to chest, like she used to and he could cradle her close all night. Pretend for the next few hours she was his, and that he deserved her.

Ruby turned off the bedside lamp and accepted his invitation, but didn’t turn her back to him. He could make out the heart shape of her face in the shadows, her shiny eyes focused on him. Her warm breath brushed his cheek. Locking his muscles, he forced himself to stay still.

“You don’t want me anymore, do you?” she asked. Her voice was so small in the darkness it twisted something inside him.

“Ruby, don’t—”

“It’s okay.” Her voice broke. “I just…it’s okay.”

Her defeat cracked him. Pulling her into his arms, his lips met hers with a groan of surrender. The contact brought him back to life: his heart sang, blood pounded, and the dark depths of his soul, frozen for a year, thawed out. But there was no escaping the guilt. He was still hiding things from her. Things that if she knew the truth meant she wouldn’t go near him again.