Once You'Ve Touched the Heart (25 page)

She looked away and exhaled. “Did he tell you what happened?”

He walked towards her. “Yeah, he told me.”

Tears streamed down her face.

Shit,
Brian thought,
not the crying.

Tracy put her thumbs in the back pocket of her jeans then bit her bottom lip. The tears began to flow.

“Oh shit, don’t do that,” Brian said almost begging. But she couldn’t stop. He walked over and put his arms around her. “Okay, okay, it’s going to be okay,” he said thinking,
Shit, shit, shit
.

Tracy wrapped her arms around his waist and broke loose against his chest.

Oh, shit
, Brian said to himself. “All right now, now, it’s going to be okay. Shh, shh.” He guided her to the sofa, consoling her until she began to settle down. He grabbed the box of tissues that was on the table and handed one to her.

“You can stop patting my head. I’m not a dog, you know,” she said through the tears.

He smiled. “Look,” he said, “I’m not good at this sensitive kind of stuff. You have to get Calvin for that.” Still holding her, he added, “I’m just here as a substitute. JD didn’t want you to be alone,” Brian said as he looked down at her. He didn’t understand her being this upset; this kind of thing happens all the time, women get over it. Brian began talking, hoping she was ready to listen to reason. “You realize this was a set up, right?”

Tracy nodded. “Vanessa advised me of her intentions. I honestly did not think Jeffrey would get caught up in it.”

“He didn’t,” Brian said, sitting back. “He’s a better man than me. I would have been all up in that,” he said, shaking his head in disbelief. Tracy pulled her legs up to her chest and put her arms around them. She sucked in her teeth at Brian and he laughed.

“I’m glad you are getting some amusement out of this,” she said. He pulled her legs out from under her arms and pulled her onto his lap. He tucked her head under his chin and put his arms around her attempting to comfort her.

“Tracy, JD loves you. His relationship with you is not about sex, you know that. There is something more there. I know it seems to you something happened. But JD said nothing happened and I believe him.”

“I think I believe him; I want to,” Tracy said looking up at him. Brian was caught off guard for a minute; those innocent eyes of hers were getting to him. He tucked her head back under his chin so he could not see them. “If you believe that, why are you so upset?”

“He wanted to, Brian. If I had not walked in at that time, would he still be able to say nothing happened?”

“I don’t know, Tracy,” he said. “But you are dealing with a what-if, and no one can answer those.”

“Brian, I can’t compete with women like Vanessa and Carolyn. They know how to do things I don’t when it comes to sex. What happens when Jeffrey wants those things and I can’t give them to him? Will he turn to Carolyn or Vanessa?”

“What things are you talking about?” Brian asked, not sure what she was referring to. “You are a woman, he’s a man. What else is there to know?”

“I’m not very experienced,” Tracy said in a whisper.

Wondering why she was whispering, Brian whispered back, “Experienced in what?”

She exhaled. “Sex, Brian,” she said, exasperated.

He laughed and laughed and laughed until she hit him in the chest.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” he said. He looked down at her. “How old are you?”

“I’ll be 25 next month.”

“And you never did the do before JD?” he asked in a surprised tone.

“No,” she replied, “and I don’t know how to go about learning. I mean….” She sat up. “I can take a book and learn anything and everything. But I don’t know the mechanics to put what I read about into action. You know what I mean.”

“Well, that’s because sex is about emotions; you can’t control them all the time and you definitely cannot learn about it from a book. It comes with experience.” He smiled. As he looked at her, he realized she was serious. “Have you discussed this with JD?”

“No, I can’t talk about this with him.”

“Hell yes, you can. That’s who you are supposed to talk to about shit like this.”

Tracy put her head back on his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. “Brian, I think Cynthia was right. Jeffrey is not going to wait around for me to learn how to please him. You’re Jeffrey’s friend, Brian, can you teach me? Can you teach me how to do the things to keep him away from Vanessa and Carolyn?”

Brian prided himself on being a man that was up for just about anything, but he never expected this. He stared at Tracy and the longer he stared the more he realized she was serious. She was genuinely asking for his help. His mind began to filter between the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other.
This is your boy’s girl
—
you have to ignore your libido and do the right thing
,
came from one side of his brain.
Man, she asking you to teach her. Look at it as helping JD
,
came from the other side of his brain.

Brian decided to help her in the best way he could. He set her at the other end of the sofa then stepped away. “Don’t you ever ask a man to teach you anything like that again unless it’s JD, do you understand me,” Brian yelled while standing over her. He put his hands on his hips and was shaking his finger at her as if he was reprimanding a child. “Never,” he yelled, “ask a man to do that, especially a man like me.” Not trusting what he would say next, he simply said, “Shit,” and turned and walked out of the room. He stopped in the hallway, turned to go back to the door. Then he said, “Hell no, hell no,” stopped, looked down at his groin. “Stop it; damn it, stop it,” he said, talking to himself. He walked the hallway for a few more minutes trying to compose himself. After a few minutes he pulled out his cell phone. “Hey, I got her,” Brian said agitated.

“Is she okay?” JD asked, concerned.

“Yeah, but I’m not staying in that room with her,” Brian yelled.

JD sat up in the bed. “What’s happened, B, did you upset her?”

“Did I upset her?” Brian could not believe JD had the nerve to ask him that. “Hell no, she upset the hell out of me,” Brian yelled and hung up the phone.

Brian walked the hallway a little longer, and then went back into the room. Tracy was still sitting on the sofa with her legs folded up under her chin. She looked up at him with tear-filled eyes. “I’m sorry, Brian. I didn’t mean to put you in the middle. I don’t know what to do.”

Brian wanted to help her and JD with this one, but not in the way she asked him to. He walked over to the sofa, took her in his arms and held her. “I’m sorry, too. I didn’t mean to yell. But right now what you need is to hear some facts of life. First, never ask anyone but your man to teach you anything about sex. Second, you need to understand, there is a distinct difference between sex and making love. What went on between JD and Vanessa was an attempt from her to have sex with him, nothing more. The reason women like Vanessa and Carolyn have to resort to the things they do is because they have not been fortunate enough to meet that one person God put on this Earth for them to love. You and JD have been blessed with that. I know JD knows that and I believe you do, too.” He kissed the top of her head. “You two are going to go through situations like this, and believe me, it will make your relationship stronger.”

“Does it have to hurt so much?” she asked.

“Anything that has to do with the heart will hurt from time to time,” Brian replied, “but the feelings you get when things are right outweigh the hurt.” He smiled at the thought. “Now, what you saw tonight was one of the hardest things for a man to resist and Vanessa knew that. Any man, with the exception of the man above, would waver at the thought of a beautiful woman giving him head.”

“What is that?” she asked.

He looked down at her with a frown on his face. “A blow job,” he said. She still looked at him as if she did not understand. He thought for another moment. “Okay, oral sex,” he said.

“Oh!” Tracy said, and settled back down on his chest.

Brian was pleased he was able to clarify that for her. He continued, “Vanessa took advantage of that and used it against JD tonight.”

“But he fell for it, Brian,” Tracy said. “How do I stop that from happening again? I don’t know how to give him—” she hesitated, “what you said.”

“A blow job?” Brian said, smiling and thinking,
It’s going to be a long time before JD gets that, hell she can’t even bring her self to say it
.

“Yeah, that,” she said.

“You give JD so many other things, Tracy. If he wants that from you he will teach it to you. But don’t ever ask a man like me to teach you.”

“Why, you’re not that bad?”

“Because I will turn your ass out, girl,” he said shaking his head back and forth. “You wouldn’t know what in the hell hit you.” They both laughed.

He put her head back down on his chest and rested his chin on top of her head.
If she only knew what he was thinking at that moment she would not be laughing, she would be running out that damn door,
he thought. “It’s late, let’s get some sleep.”

He adjusted himself and held her until she dozed off. Brian had not understood why JD had given up all women for this one until now. This is the type of woman you are supposed to leave the single life for. Brian smiled, envying his friend. JD had the best thing a man could ask for: the love of a good woman. Brian fell asleep with his friend’s woman in his arms.

T
he arraignment of Juan Cortez was scheduled for 9 a.m. and JD had not gotten any sleep. He was up all night worried about the situation with Tracy. Ashley called around 6 a.m., concerned when Tracy did not come home. She was hoping JD had been able to calm Tracy down and she was with him, but that wasn’t the case. JD gave Ashley the rundown on what had actually happened. Ashley knew Carolyn was involved in some way, but did not know about Vanessa.

When JD finished his call with Ashley, he called Tracy’s cell; she didn’t pick up. JD never felt so guilty about anything in his life and he vowed he would never hurt her again, it hurt too damn much.

JD went to the office early, thinking it would take his mind off Tracy. She did not believe him and that cut him deep. Why would she doubt his word? He had never lied to her about anything. How could she doubt him now? JD didn’t notice the elevator door open, and it began to close on him, but he caught it. Damn, he needed to concentrate today. The Cortez case was at a critical point; he needed to clear his mind. But he didn’t know how. The only thing that would calm him was talking to Tracy, but that wasn’t happening.

He went into his office and put his briefcase on the desk. Calvin walked in behind him. “You’re in early this morning,” he said.

JD turned. “Hey, Calvin.” He put his hands in his pockets and walked over to the window.

“What’s going on, JD?”

“I think I lost Tracy last night.”

Calvin laughed. “I don’t believe that; Tracy is crazy about you.”

JD hung his head. “She walked in on Vanessa at my place last night.”

“Man, what is wrong with you? Why in the hell did you have Vanessa at your place?”

“I didn’t, man. She used the key I keep outside the door and let herself in. She undressed and was lying across the bed when I got out of the shower. She left the front door open; Tracy walked in, as if on cue.”

“Where is Tracy now?”

“At the Omni with Brian.”

Calvin raised an eyebrow. “What is she doing at the Omni with Brian?”

JD put his hand up. “Long story.” Exhaling and frustrated, JD asked, “How do I fix this, Calvin? She didn’t believe me when I said nothing happened.”

“Did anything happen?”

“No!” JD replied. “Well, it might have looked that way.” He hesitated. “Vanessa had just gone down on me when Tracy walked in. It took me a minute to push her away.”

“But not soon enough for Tracy not to see.” Calvin smirked.

“Right,” JD replied.

“Have you talked to Tracy?”

“I tried; she’s not listening, yet.” JD sighed.

“Then give her time. Tracy loves you; she will work through it.”

JD unbuttoned his suit jacket and sat in his chair. “I can’t lose her, Calvin. Not now.”

“Have you called her this morning?”

“Yeah, she’s not picking up.”

“Have you heard from Brian this morning?”

“Not yet.”

Calvin cleared his throat. “Don’t you think you should call Brian, just to make sure Tracy’s okay?” JD looked at Calvin then picked up the phone to dial Brian.

“She’s okay,” Brian said walking through the door. JD hung up the telephone as Brian closed the door. “Don’t be trying to put no shit in that man’s head,” he said to Calvin. He looked at JD. “Don’t you ever put me on detail with that woman again.”

“Is she okay, Brian?” JD asked anxiously.

“Yeah, she’s hurt as hell, but she is okay. Give her a little time, both of you will be okay,” Brian said, taking a seat.

“Why did you close the door?” JD asked, puzzled.

“Because I didn’t want anyone to overhear what I am going to say to you.” Brian shook his head and sat forward. “Man, you have my sympathy. I understand why you have lost your mind over that woman. She’s beautiful, intelligent and green as hell.” He pointed at JD. “You have been keeping secrets, my brother. Tracy was a virgin before you….” JD did not respond. “You don’t have to answer; she told me,” Brian said, sitting back in his chair. “That’s why she is taking this petty shit so hard, man. She doesn’t think she knows how to satisfy you sexually. She believes you will eventually turn to Vanessa or Carolyn for that satisfaction.”

“Damn, Brian, she told you all of that?” Calvin asked.

“Oh, we had a sister-to-sister kind of talk. But wait, it gets better.” JD sat there not saying anything. “Then she asks me to teach her how to satisfy you,” Brian said, looking at JD with a firm look on his face. JD stood up as if he was going after Brian. “Sit your ass down; I ain’t for no shit out of you after what your woman put me through last night!” Brian demanded firmly.

“What did you do, B?” JD yelled at Brian.