Ondine (8 page)

‘I'll go to the paper's office and find out who wrote
this,' Marguerite said. ‘I'll explain that they're wrong. I'll invite the reviewer back so she can write something positive about us.'

‘Or make up something worse!' Josef said.

‘Hey, look, Da,' Ondine said, trying to change the subject. ‘Here's a story about the people who tried to shoot the Duke. They've written a fair bit . . . they've charged three men and . . . what does “diplomatic immunity” mean?'

‘It means they've got a good lawyer,' Josef said with a sniff of disgust.

The telephone rang, making them all jump. For a moment nobody wanted to answer it, then Ma straightened her posture, brushed her hair back, and made to pick it up.

‘Station Hotel, good morning . . . Yes . . . I see . . . Yes, of course . . . No, no problem at all, thank you for calling and letting us know. Have a lovely day.'

Ma put the receiver down on to the cradle and shuddered. ‘That was the van Nyuus booking,
²⁷
cancelling for tonight. Cybelle, you're better on the
phone than me, can you take the rest of the calls? I'm going to lie down for a mo–'

A streak of black fur barrelled into the kitchen, ran under the table and up Ondine's leg.

‘Shambles! Oh, Shambles, my darling, you're alive!' Ondine cried, scooping the bundle of bedraggled fluff into her arms and kissing the top of his messy head. Sparks of joy danced around her heart. He was back!

‘As much as I appreciate a kiss from a fair maiden, there's no time for that,' Shambles said as he panted for breath. ‘Everyone get to work, the halth inspecta is coming!'

Ma turned white and her chin wobbled in distress. ‘Can this day get any worse? Who cares if the health inspector comes? We're done for anyway!'

Josef, Chef, Thomas and Marguerite all turned to Ma, asking variants on the ‘what did you say?' theme. Because, of course, they hadn't heard Shambles say anything.

Only Cybelle remained looking at Ondine. The middle daughter instinctively knew, from her mother's screeching reaction, that Shambles had
come back with bad news.

Ignoring them all, Ondine cuddled her returned friend. ‘Shambles, you stink. Where have you been? You must be starving. Here, have some sausages. Chef, can you grab some bones out of the stockpot?'

Shambles found his voice. ‘It's that ungrateful Duke's family. This is all their doing. They're hell-bent on running us out of town! And I'll say yes to the meat too, I'm fair starven.'

Confusion reigned at the table while Shambles virtually inhaled his snack. Ondine patted his back, feeling the corrugated ribs through matted fur.

All eyes turned to Ma, waiting for an answer.

She gave it to them, revealing Shambles's true identity and communication skills.

Da shook his head. ‘Now you're saying he can talk? Then why can't I hear him?'

Confusion aplenty. Thanks to the newspaper review, they were already in a state of shock. It was only natural that the news that their ferret could talk and was in fact a real man would completely bowl them all over.

* * *

You'll understand a certain need for brevity at this stage, what with everything being so exciting – plus, you already know the whole story up to now, so you don't need to hear it again. Let's pick this up after the half hour of ‘whats?' and ‘hows?' to the point where people started to make sense again.

Chef shook his head and said, ‘Now I've heard everything.'

Marguerite and Thomas gave each other surprised looks.

Da's jaw clamped shut and Ondine could tell, just from his expression, that his mind was already moving on to more important matters: white-hot indignation.

‘But we saved that miserable Duke's life!' he spat.

Cybelle chimed in, ‘What could he have against us? He came over here after the incident, bringing half of Venzelemma with him. He was having a great time, wasn't he, Ondi?'

Heat seared Ondine's cheeks as she thought about what a great time she'd had, with Lord Vincent kissing
her wrist. Her skin still tingled just thinking about it.

‘Right then, no time to waste. Let's close the place ourselves and then there's no reason to let the health inspector in,' Ma said, rising from the table and fetching the clutch of keys.

‘But we've got guests, and a full house tonight!' Da said, then corrected himself. ‘I mean, a nearly full house.'

‘We cancel everything, just for a week, and we'll work like stink and get it all sparkling from floor to ceiling. Cancelling the bookings buys us some time and when we re-open, the inspector will be so dazzled by everything he won't be able to find anything to fault. Margi, you and Thomas make up some signs for the front windows to say we're closed for renovations. Belle, you and Chef put on a slap-up lunch for everyone who's still here, as a way of saying thanks and goodbye, for the moment. Ondi, give Shambles a bath, he stinks, then both of you join your da in the bar. We'll start at the front and work our way through the entire place.'

‘Colette, my love,' Da said, finally breaking his wife's string of orders, ‘how are we to pay for this?'

‘We'll find a way. Something will turn up.'

As Shambles finished his third sausage, Ondine offered him some water, which he happily accepted. ‘I'm going to give you that bath, Shambles,' she said, and kissed the top of his head again. The acrid stench of dead things flew up her nose. ‘Pee-yew, you reek!'

A rumbly laugh escaped Shambles. ‘Care to rub me back, lass?'

From across the table, Ma gave the ferret a stern look. ‘Shambles, that's not appropriate!'

Shocked, Ondine looked at her mother, face aghast. Jupiter's moons, Ma had good hearing! Then she saw her father's icy cold glare – created not from hearing Shambles, but from guessing what he must have said. A smile formed at the corner of Ondine's mouth. The newspaper article was right in one respect: her dad could chill a whole room with a single glance.

As much as she should feel angry because of her father's mood swings, she felt happy. Shambles was alive and in one (smelly) piece, and for that she was grateful. In a few hours, her father would be over the shock of the news and would return to normal. The
best thing for Ondine to do was stay out of his way.

‘Thank ye for the food, and for yer concern. It's nice to be missed. I missed ye too,' Shambles whispered as they left the kitchen. ‘And by the way, I noticed Cybelle and Chef were touching knees under the table.'

The fresh information sent a bolt of shock through Ondine. ‘Belle and Chef? What?'

‘That sister of yers is a dark horse,' Shambles chuckled.

Ondine's mind went blank. Not that Belle couldn't have a love interest, but that it would be with Chef. ‘I can't get my head around it. But – but he's nearly twice her age.
Belle and Chef?
'

‘Sure, and I'm older than ye, but yer about to get me fair nekked in a bath, eh lass?'

Heat scorched Ondine's neck and face again. Thank goodness nobody else was in earshot of the ferret. As much as she'd like to make verbal repartee with him, there was little time for mucking about. Ondine knew they'd be needed for renovations, whatever that entailed, so it was straight up to the bathroom for both
of them. Upon reaching the basin, Shambles came over all shy.

‘Ah, I'll take it from here if ye don't mind.'

‘Don't be silly, you won't even be able to turn on the taps,' Ondine said.

Shambles looked at his options. ‘Right then. Well. Close yer eyes.'

‘We don't have time for this. You need a bath and I'm giving you one.' Ondine placed the plug in the plughole and set about filling the basin with warm water.

‘Right . . . but it's just that . . . I've never had a bath with anyone else before. It's well confronting if ye think about it.'

Ondine laughed. ‘But Shambles, come on, you're only . . .'

‘Only what? A ferret? Thanks a lot.'

‘I didn't mean that.'

Shambles shook his head, ‘Thank you. I think. Now, I have to warn you,' he dipped his front paw in the water, ‘oh no, that's too hot, more cold water please.'

Ondine did so.

‘That's better. Now, I have to warn you about that
Duke and his family. Especially Vincent. He's got it in fer us.'

Ondine dropped the soap, ‘Lord Vincent? But he was here with his friends and they had a great time.' She blushed furiously at the memory. The wrist he'd kissed now propped up the black ferret in the basin. He leant against it for support, and she could feel his small heart hammering away.

‘He was here? Then it's worse than I thought. Stay away from them, Ondi, they're bad news. They're the ones setting the halth inspecta on to us. They want to close us down. I don't know why yet, but they've got it in fer us.'

Ondine retrieved the soap and scrubbed Shambles's furry back. Time to change the subject.

‘Shambles, before you became a ferret, how did you like to do your hair?' He'd look so cute with a big curl on his forehead.

‘Eh? I dunno, lass, I jest brushed it. Why d'ye ask?'

‘Just wondering,' she said, wondering how he might have done his hair, wondering what colour it had been, wondering whether he was as handsome as Lord
Vincent. ‘I mean, was it really long so you had to tie it back or did you cut it short?'

‘Short like Lord Vincent's?'

‘Yeah,' she said before thinking.

‘Aha! So you're thinking of him while you're bathing me, eh lass?'

Mercury's wings!
‘No, it's not like that.'

‘Really now?'

‘Shambles, please. I was actually wondering what
you
looked like.'

‘And why might that be? So ye can compare me to Vincent?'

Yes
. ‘No, not like that. Just that it would be nice if I knew who I was talking to.'

‘All right. I used to be fit, like. I had short hair, and all the bits of my face were where they're s'posed to be.'

The description helped. A bit. ‘You're lucky I didn't know who you really were, otherwise I might have left you at Psychic Summercamp.'

A stray thought came unbidden – thank goodness she'd come home early from Summercamp, otherwise
who knows what might have happened.
²⁸

After she finished washing and drying him, and he looked and smelled like a proper clean ferret should, she made for the dining room and got to work. She carried chairs and tables out to the rear garden – as soon as guests vacated them – so she could scrub them down in daylight. It was impressive how quickly guests chose to leave the premises once you removed their capacity to sit down.

Shambles ducked under a chair.

‘What are you doing?' Ondine asked.

‘Gnawing awf thae gobs of chewing gum,' he
replied, sounding like he had a mouth full of the goo already. ‘Folks have such filthy habits.'

In the harsh light of day, the timber furniture looked hideous. Many pieces were scratched and dented and some refused to stop wobbling. They looked shoddy.

‘Let's do some sorting,' Shambles said. ‘The worst of them go by the back shed. We'll take the wee stoppers off the feet and use them on the good stuff.'

‘Good idea, Shambles.'

‘Aw, thanks, lass. It's nice to feel useful.'

Ondine beamed at the compliment. ‘So, you haven't filled me in on where you've been. Care to elaborate?'

‘I was fair traumatised by the whole thing. I woke up in the Duke's place. Big and echoey and full of people wearing stompy boots. If I ever go back there, it will be too soon. I found a place to hide and waited for the Duke to return. He did, with Vincent, and all the time I was there, Vincent was saying how they needed to close this place down.'

‘But . . . that doesn't make sense. If they hated it, why didn't they say something when they were here?'

‘I don't know what their motives are either, lass, but
I know what I heard, and it was Vincent leading the charge. Hey, how come every time I say his name ye get that funny look on yer face?'

‘I don't get a funny look.'

‘Yes ye do. Lord Vincent.'

Ondine kept her expression as stern as possible.

‘I know ye don't want to listen to me, but it's the truth. Lord Vincent is
nawt
to be trusted.'

‘I've heard enough,' Ondine said. ‘We have work to do.'

She spent the rest of the day scrubbing down timber, polishing the good items and fixing what she could, with Shambles directing her. Ma came out to inspect their work, a beaming smile spreading across her satisfied face.

‘I thought I'd have to buy a whole new set, but you've done a marvellous job, you two. Right, when you're finished, come and help us carry out the carpet.'

Just as her mother had ordered, the family were scrubbing their way through the entire building. It meant tearing up the ancient, smelly carpet and
exposing the floorboards. Considering the flooring was old, stained and reeked of beer, the renovations were long overdue. By the end of the day they'd done a lot of work, but the place didn't look exactly clean. If anything, they'd stirred up such huge amounts of fetid dust they'd created yet more mess. It was only one day; they were sure to make more mess tomorrow.

Rolling up the carpet had exposed a thick layer of old newspapers. Not the underlay most people had in their homes to create a soft cushion to walk on, contributing to a lovely, homey atmosphere. Like the carpets before them, the newspapers stank of beer and other weird things, so they had to go as well.

‘Load them all into the fireplace. We'll have a ritual burning and cleansing ceremony tonight. I hope Auntie Col gets here in time – she'll have some good spells,' Ma said.