One and Wonder (12 page)

“It broke off,” murmured Johnny.

“Ignore
that,
” snorted Ives.

“You keep talking about this thing being caused by something outside,” said Paresi. His tone was almost complaining.

“Got a better hypothesis?” asked Hoskins.

“Hoskins,” said the Captain, “isn't there some way we can get out? What about the tubes?”

“Take a shipyard to move those power-plants,” said Hoskins, “and even if it could be done, those radioactive tubes would fry you before you crawled a third of the way.”

“We should have a lifeboat,” said Ives to no one in particular.

“What in time does a ship like the
Ambassador
need with a lifeboat?” asked Hoskins in genuine amazement.

The Captain frowned. “What about the ventilators?”

“Take us days to remove all the screens and purifiers,” said Hoskins, “and then we'd be up against the intake ports. You could stroll out through any of them about as far as your forearm. And after that it's hull-metal, Skipper.
That
you don't cut, not with a piece of the Sun's core.”

The Captain got up and began pacing, slowly and steadily, as if the problem could be trodden out like ripe grapes. He closed his eyes and said, “I've been circling around that idea for thirty minutes now. Look: the hull can't be cut because it is built so it can't fail. It doesn't fail. The port controls were also built so they wouldn't fail. They do fail. The thing that keeps us in stays in shape. The thing that lets us out goes bad. Effect: we stay inside. Cause: something that wants us to stay inside.”

“Oh,” said Johnny clearly.

They looked at him. He raised his head, stiffened his spine against the bulkhead. Paresi smiled at him. “Sure, Johnny. The machine didn't fail. It was—controlled. It's all right.” Then he turned to the Captain and said carefully, “I'm not denying what you say, Skipper. But I don't like to think of what will happen if you take that tack, reason it through, and don't get any answers.”

“I'd hate to be a psychologist,” said Ives fervently. “Do you extrapolate your mastications, too, and get frightened of the stink you might get?”

Paresi smiled coldly. “I control my projections.”

Captain Anderson's lips twitched in passing amusement, and then his expression sobered. “I'll take the challenge, Paresi. We have a cause and an effect. Something is keeping us in the ship. Corollary: We—or perhaps the ship—we're not welcome.”

“Men of Earth,”
quoted Ives, in an excellent imitation of the accentless English they had heard on the radio,
“welcome to our planet.”

“They're kidding,” said Johnny heartily, rising to his feet. He dropped the control wheel with a clang and shoved it carelessly aside with his foot. “Who ever says exactly what they mean anyhow? I see that conclusion the head-shrinker's afraid you'll get to, Skipper. If we can't leave the ship, the only other thing we can do is to leave the planet. That it?”

Paresi nodded and watched the Captain closely. Anderson turned abruptly away from them all and stood, feet apart, head down, hands behind his back, and stared out of the forward viewports. In the tense silence they could hear his knuckles crack. At length he said quietly, “That isn't what we came here for, Johnny.”

Johnny shrugged. “Okay. Chew it up all you like, fellers. The only other choice is to sit here like bugs in a bottle until we die of old age. When you get tired of thinking that over, just let me know. I'll fly you out.”

“We can always depend on Johnny,” said Paresi with no detectable emphasis at all.

“Not on me,” said Johnny, and swatted the bulkhead. “On the ship. Nothing on any planet can stop this baby once I pour on the coal. She's just got too much muscle.”

“Well, Captain?” asked Hoskins softly.

Anderson looked at the basking valley, at the too-blue sky, and the near-familiar, mellow-weathered crags. They waited.

“Take her up,” said the Captain. “Put her in orbit at two hundred kilos. I'm not giving up this easily.”

Ives swatted Johnny's broad shoulder. “That's a take-off
and.
a landing, if I know the Old Man. Go to it, Jets.”

Johnny's wide white grin flashed and he strode to the control chair.
“Gentlemen, be seated.”

“I'll take mine lying down,” said Ives, and spread his bulk out on the acceleration couch. The others went to their takeoff posts.

“On automatics,” said the Captain, “Fire away!”

“Fire away!” said Johnny cheerfully. He reached forward and pressed the central control.

Nothing happened.

Johnny put his hand toward the control again. It moved as if there were a repellor field around the button. The hand moved more and more slowly the closer it got, until it hovered just over the control and began to tremble.

“On manual,” barked the Captain. “Fire!”

“Manual, sir,” said Johnny reflexively. His trembling hand darted up to an overhead switch, pulled it. He grasped the control bars and dropped the heels of his hands heavily on the firing studs. From somewhere came a muted roar, a whispering; a subjective suggestion of the thunder of reaction motors.

A frown crossed Paresis face. The rocket noise was gone as the mind reached for it, like an occluded thought. The motors were silent; there wasn't a tremor of vibration. Yet somewhere a ghost engine was warming up, preparing a ghost ship for an intangible take-off into nothingness.

He snapped off the catch of his safety belt and crossed swiftly and silently to the console. Johnny sat raptly. A slow smile of satisfaction began to spread over his face. His gaze flicked to dials and gauges; he nodded very slightly, and brought both hands down like an organist playing a mighty chord. He watched the gauges. The needles were still, lying on their zero pins, and, where lights should have flickered and flashed, there was nothing. Paresi glanced at Anderson and met a worried look. Hoskins had his head cocked to one side, listening, puzzled. Ives rose from the couch and came forward to stand beside Paresi.

Johnny was manipulating the keys firmly. His fingers began to play a rapid, skillful, silent concerto. His face had a look of intense concentration and of complete self-confidence.

“Well,” said Ives heavily. “That's a bust, too.”

Paresi spun to him.
“Shh!”
It was done with such intensity that Ives recoiled. With a warning look at him, Paresi walked to the Captain, whispered in his ear.

“My God,” said Anderson. “All right, Doctor.” He came forward to the Pilot's chair. Johnny was still concentratedly, uselessly at work. Anderson glanced inquiringly at Paresi, who nodded.

“That does it,” said the Captain, loudly. “Nice work, Johnny. We're smack in orbit. The automatics couldn't have done it better. For once it
feels good to be out in space again. Cut your jets now. You can check for correction.”

“Aye, sir,” said Johnny. He made two delicate adjustments, threw a master switch and swung around. “Whew! That's work!”

Facing the four silent men, Johnny thumbed out a cigarette, put it in his mouth, touched his lighter to it, drew a long slow puff.

“Man, that goes good . . .”

The cigarette was not lighted. Hoskins turned away, an expression of sick pity on his face. Ives reached abruptly for his own lighter, and the Doctor checked him with a gesture.

“Every time I see a hot pilot work I'm amazed,” Paresi said conversationally. “Such concentration . . . you must be tuckered, Johnny.”

Johnny puffed at his unlit cigarette. “Tuckered,” he said. “Yeah.” There were two odd undertones to his voice suddenly. They were fatigue and eagerness. Paresi said, “You're off-watch, John. Go stretch out.”

“Real tired,” mumbled Johnny. He lumbered to his feet and went aft, where he rolled to the couch and was asleep almost instantly.

The others congregated far forward around the controls, and for a long moment stared silently at the sleeping Pilot.

“I don't get it,” murmured Ives.

“He really thought he flew us out, didn't he?” asked Hoskins.

Paresi nodded. “Had to. There isn't any place in his cosmos for machines that don't work. Contrary evidence can get just so strong. Then, for him, it ceased to exist. A faulty cigarette lighter irritated him, a failing airlock control made him angry and sullen and then hysterical. When the drive controls wouldn't respond, he reached his breaking point. Everyone has such a breaking point, and arrives at it just that way if he's pushed far enough.”

“Everyone?”

Paresi looked from face to face, and nodded somberly. Anderson asked, “What knocked him out? He's trained to take far more strain than that.”

“Oh, he isn't suffering from any physical or conscious mental fatigue. The one thing he wanted to do was to get away from a terrifying situation. He convinced himself that he flew out of it. The next best thing he could do to keep anything else from attacking him was to sleep. He very much appreciated my suggestion that he was worn out and needed to stretch out.”

“I'd very much appreciate some such,” said Ives. “Do it to me, Nick.”

“Reach your breaking point first,” said the Doctor flatly, and went to place a pillow between Johnny’s head and a guard-rail.

Hoskins turned away to stare at the peaceful landscape outside. The Captain watched him for a moment, then; “Hoskins!”

“Aye.”

“I've seen that expression before. What are you thinking about?”

The Engineer looked at him, shrugged, and said mildly, “Chess.”

“What, especially?”

“Oh, a very general thing. The reciprocity of the game. That's what makes it the magnificent thing it is. Most human enterprises can gang up on a man, slap him with one disaster after another without pause. But not chess. No matter who your opponent might be, every time he does something to you,
it's your move.”

“Very comforting. Have you any idea of how we move now?”

Hoskins looked at him, a gentle surprise on his aging face. “You missed my point, Skipper.
We
don't move.”

“Oh,” the Captain whispered. His face tautened as it paled. “I . . . I see. We pushed the airlocks button to get out. Countermove: It wouldn't work. We tried the manual. Countermove: It broke off. And so on. Now we've tried to fly the ship out. Oh, but Hoskins—Johnny broke. Isn't that countermove enough?”

“Maybe. Maybe you're right. Maybe the move wasn't trying the drive controls, though. Maybe the move was to do what was necessary to knock Johnny out.” He shrugged again. “We'll very soon see.”

The Captain exhaled explosively through his nostrils. “We'll find out if it's our move by moving,” he gritted. “Ives! Paresi! We're going to go over this thing from the beginning. First, try the port. You, Ives.”

Ives grunted and went to the ship's side. Then he stopped.

“Where is the port?”

Anderson and Paresi followed Ives's flaccid, shocked gaze to the bulkhead where there had been the outline of the closed port, and beside it the hole which had held the axle of the manual wheel, and which now was a smooth, seamless curtain of impenetrable black. But Hoskins looked at the Captain first of all, and he said
“Now
it's our move,” and only then did he turn with them to look at the darkness.

III

The unfamiliar, you say, is the unseen, the completely new and strange? Not so. The epitome of the unfamiliar is the familiar inverted, the familiar turned on its head. View a familiar place under new conditions—a deserted and darkened theater, an empty nightclub by day—and you will find yourself more influenced by the emotion of strangeness than by any number of unseen places. Go back to your old neighborhood and find everything changed. Come into your own home when everyone is gone, when the lights are out and the furniture rearranged—there I will show you the strange and frightening ghosts that are the shapes left over when reality superimposes itself upon the images of memory. The goblins
lurk in the shadows of your own room . . .

—
Owen Miller
ESSAYS ON NIGHT AND THE UNFAMILIAR

For one heart-stopping moment the darkness had seemed to swoop in upon them like the clutching hand of death. Instinctively they had huddled together in the center of the room. But when the second look, and the third, gave them reassurance that the effect was really there, though the cause was still a mystery, then half the mystery was gone, and they began to drift apart. Each felt on trial, and held tight to himself and the picture of himself he emphasized in the others’ eyes.

The Captain said quietly, “It's just . . . there. It doesn't seem to be spreading.”

Hoskins gazed at it critically. “About half-a-meter deep,” he murmured. “What do you suppose it's made of?”

“Not a gas,” said Paresi. “It has a—a sort of surface.”

Ives, who had frozen to the spot when first he saw the blackness on his way to the port, took another two steps. The hand, which had been half-lifted to touch the control, continued relievedly, as if glad to have a continuous function even though its purpose had changed.

“Don't touch it!” rapped the Captain.

Ives turned his head to look at the Captain, then faltered and let the hand drop. “Why not?”

“Certainly not a liquid,” Paresi mused, as if there had been no interruption. “And if it's a solid, where did that much matter come from? Through the hull?”

Hoskins, who knew the hull, how it was made, how fitted, how treated once it was in place, snorted at the idea.

“If it was a gas,” said Paresi, “there'd be diffusion.
And
convection. If it were poisonous, we'd all be dead. If not, the chances are we'd smell it. And the counter's not saying a thing—so it's not radioactive.”

“You trust the counter?” asked Ives bitterly.

“I trust it,” said Paresi. His near-whisper shook with what sounded like passion. “A man must have faith in something. I hold that faith in every single function of every part of this ship until each and every part is separately and distinctly proved unworthy of faith!”

“Then, by God, you'll understand my faith in my own two hands and what they feel,” snarled Ives. He stepped to the bulkhead and brought his meaty hand hard against it