One More Kiss (12 page)

“That’s an understatement,” India said. “Like you, it was attraction that brought us together first. Then we got to know one another. Underneath all that hotness is a solid man.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Lucien is always there when I need him. I don’t even have to say it sometimes and he just shows up,” India said. “You know?”

“Yeah, I guess I know what you mean,” Alysse said, but she wasn’t sure. Jay was still figuring out where he wanted to be.

“You don’t,” India said, but not unkindly. “Why did you two divorce?”

“He left me,” she said. “I know you probably think I’m crazy for trying this again.”

“I don’t judge another person’s heart,” India said. “When Lucien and I have our problems, they are monsters and we fight like it’s the end of the world, but he’s still the man I dream about and I don’t think anyone else will do.”

“I don’t want it to be that way for me,” Alysse admitted. “I’m afraid to fall for Jay until he knows what’s going on with him. I just want something nice and normal like what you and Lucien have.”

“Nothing is nice and normal in love. It’s bold and passionate,” India said. “Can I give you some advice?”

“Sure,” Alysse said.

“Holding back is probably not going to bring you the results you want. Yes, it’s safer to try to wait until he knows what he wants but if you aren’t being honest with yourself and with him, he’s never going to want you. You can’t wait for him to be ready for you, you might not still be together if you don’t go for it now,” India said.

Her words echoed in Alysse’s lonely heart. If Jay was her great romance...if they were truly meant to be together, then holding herself back and trying not to love him, well, that wasn’t going to help her.

She watched Jay weaving his way through the crowd and she saw his face with its familiar lines of tension and stress. But then he smiled when their gazes met and she understood that she could give him something that he’d never had before. Jay had admitted to being abandoned by his mother. Would the only way he was going to feel safe enough to stay with Alysse be if he felt that she would never leave him?

Her hands literally started sweating and she felt a wave of fear wash over her as her stomach dropped. She didn’t know if she could take a huge step like this. She was going to have to put Jay in front of her own dreams of family and happiness and what if this didn’t work out? Could she ever trust a man again?

Jay handed her drink to her as Lucien put his and India’s drinks on the table.

“Come on, baby. Let’s dance,” Lucien said, and India slid out of the booth to follow him.

Alysse took a sip of her drink, waiting for Jay to do the same but he was just staring at her.

“Aly, dance with me?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said. It seemed as if he was reaching out to her in a way he hadn’t before. Today had marked a turning point for both of them. They’d started to let their own guard down. For the first time since she’d woken up alone all those years ago, Alysse felt a tingling near her heart.

“Thank you for today,” he said.

“What did I do?” she asked. Not sure where he was headed with this.

“You made me realize how good life can be when you share it with the right woman.”

She blushed, knowing her happiness was broadcast on her face.

“You’re welcome.”

* * *

T
HE
LAST
OF
HIS
UNEASINESS
from Afghanistan faded away as he pulled Alysse into his arms on the dance floor. The music was upbeat and many couples danced with distance between them, but Jay didn’t pay any attention to them. He needed to hold Alysse and to feel that she was still his.

He put his hands on her waist as they swayed together to the music. Lucien had complimented him on being lucky enough to have a woman like Alysse in his life and Jay had been quiet. He had never believed in luck.

No unseen force had ever been looking out for him. He’d managed to get to where he was today by determination and sheer force of will. And as he held this sweet, sexy woman in his arms, he knew that he had to change. It was why he’d thanked her and he could see by her reaction that he’d said the right thing. He had to let her in. Had to enjoy these moments together because he didn’t know how long they would last.

He had been searching for some kind of sign. He shook his head and leaned down to kiss her as she glanced up at him. He didn’t care that they were in the middle of a crowded dance floor, he only knew that he needed her. He was tired of playing silly games that neither of them could win.

“What was that for?” she asked, leaning up on her tiptoes to speak into his ear.

“Because you make me happy,” he said. “No one else ever has.”

She hugged him close. “Good. I’m glad.”

She pulled back as the rhythm of the music changed and they danced close together, bodies bumping and grinding until Jay thought he was going to explode. He enjoyed the teasing anticipation and could tell that Alysse did as well, because she kept brushing her hands intimately over him.

When it got close to midnight, they said goodbye to Lucien and India and walked hand in hand back to her car. He unlocked her door and then pulled her into his arms, kissing her slowly and seductively.

She held on to him as he tipped her head back and languidly moved his mouth over hers. It was intoxicating. He couldn’t get enough of her.

The honking horn of someone driving by pulled them apart; for the first time that he could remember, Jay hadn’t been aware of his surroundings.

“Take me home,” she said.

He nodded and opened her door for her and helped her get seated. By the time he walked around to the driver’s side she had her head tipped back against the seat rest and was staring at him with dreamy eyes.

“You okay?” he asked in his kindest voice.

“Yes. Everything felt right tonight, didn’t it?”

He reached over and took her hand, kissing it then putting it on his thigh before he started the car. “Everything was very good tonight.”

Her fingers stroked up and down his leg, teasingly dipping to brush against his cock, which was becoming more and more hard with each of her touches.

“India said that I can’t hide...”

“What are you hiding from?” he asked, realizing that the fun evening with relaxed company had loosened her tongue.

“You,” she admitted. “I don’t want to love you again.”

His heart stopped. He’d been hoping that she would love him again. That he’d be able to have that sweet attention from her and find somehow that he was worthy of it.

That was what he’d been searching for, he now understood. There was a reason why she didn’t want to love him and that was that he’d ruined that emotion for her a long time ago.

No amount of pretending could change his life or rectify the past. He had to face the fact that he needed to leave. That the only solution was to walk away from her.

He glanced over to find her sleepily watching him and he knew that he didn’t want to hurt her again. But a part of him was just selfish enough to want to stay. Why should he worry about Alysse and put her needs above his? He didn’t know why. He only knew that he did.

She twined their fingers together and leaned her head against his shoulder. They exited the vehicle and she led him to the front door of her cute bungalow. Her perfect normal life and he wasn’t strong enough to turn away.

12

A
LYSSE
DIDN
’
T
WANT
to let go of Jay. The night had come alive for her. She’d let her emotions run instead of bottling them up, and she felt almost high from them. God, why hadn’t she realized before how good this felt?

As soon as they were in her house she went to him. She’d missed him last night and she was finally able to really admit it. She’d been worried he was going to see her to the door and then leave again.

Having him inside with her made her bold. She knew he was nearing the deadline to decide what he was doing and where he was going and she wanted to make damned sure he knew she wanted him to stay.

“Dance with me here.”

“Um, are you sure?” he asked.

She could tell he wanted to retreat and go back to his safe hotel room, but she wasn’t going to let him. If Jay left her this time it wasn’t going to be without knowing every detail of what he would be missing for the rest of his life.

“Yes. I really liked the way you felt next to me,” she said, leading him into her living room. She hit the light switch and the two side-table lamps came on.

The room was cast in a soft intimate glow and Jay stood in the center. He looked sexy and serious as he waited for her. She smiled at him, a soft sensual expression that he answered.

She went to the iPod dock that she kept in her living room hooked up to speakers. She had always liked music and hadn’t scrimped on the sound system when she’d purchased it. Now she was glad because she wanted every detail of this night to be perfect. It was the only way she was going to be able to convince him to stay.

She flipped through her playlists and found what she was looking for. The song she wanted to dance with him to had been playing in the lounge the first night they’d gone for a drink in Vegas. She only listened to it when she was feeling nostalgic and a bit melancholy, but she wanted that to change. She wanted to reclaim the song as she felt she’d reclaimed the man.

As Michael Bublé crooned the tune “For Once In My Life,” she moved slowly toward Jay.

“It’s our song,” he said.

“Yes,” she agreed. “I didn’t think you would remember.”

“I remember every detail of that week with you. I can’t have a steak without remembering eating a bite off the end of your fork. Or taste a strawberry without remembering the way you crushed them on your breast and invited me to lick them off.”

She shivered remembering how free she’d felt with him back then because she’d trusted him completely.

“I haven’t been that daring in a long time,” she admitted.

“That’s my fault,” he said.

He held his hand out to her and met her halfway, pulling her into his arms and swaying gently with the song. His hands moved up and down her back.

“Do you remember our wedding?” she asked.

“I do,” he admitted. “You wore the simplest white sheath dress that had a deep V in the front like this.”

He drew his finger along her collarbone and then pulled the fabric of her neckline down until it was between her breasts.

“The slopes of your breasts were visible and as soon as you walked into the chapel it was all I could look at.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I wanted to do this,” he said, lowering his head and dropping very soft kisses against the globes of her breasts. “But then I looked up at your neck and saw the line of your jaw and that mouth of yours. You have the most luscious mouth. All I can think about when we are together is kissing you.”

“Then do it,” she said.

He leaned in and rubbed his lips over hers. She sighed and felt the magic of the evening deepening for her.

“What do you remember? First impressions of me in the chapel?” he asked.

“When I stepped inside and saw you waiting for me I couldn’t breathe. You looked so handsome in your dress uniform. I didn’t realize how good-looking you were until that moment. You stood so straight and at attention and then our eyes met and I felt a thrill all the way to my toes. I thought you were mine.”

“I was.”

But then he’d left. And she’d convinced herself that a feeling that strong could have been one-sided.

She wrapped her arms around his lean waist and rested her head on his chest. He put one hand on the back of her head and rubbed his palm over her back. Keeping her close. The song played on and they swayed together to the music.

It was a quick song, and when it ended she flushed as Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On” was the next song to start playing.

He chuckled. “We never danced to this one before.”

“I know. It’s not exactly the subtlety I was trying for.”

“Hell, this is my kind of song,” he said. Putting his hands on her hips and grinding against her. She did the same, moving her hands up and down his chest slowly loosing buttons until his shirt was open and she could touch his hard muscles.

“I love your chest,” she said, pushing his shirt off his shoulders. His shoulders were broad and strong, his skin warm to her touch.

He let her have her way with him, caressing him however she wanted. She traced his spine and then let her fingers dip into his pants to caress the dusting of hair at the small of his back. He groaned. She slowly came around to his front trailing her fingers along that edge between bare flesh and cloth. Then she used her grip on his waistband to draw him closer to her. She tipped her head back and put her free hand around his neck and drew his head down to hers.

“I love the feel of your hands on my body. No one has ever touched me the way you do, Aly.”

“Good,” she said. She wanted to brand him all over so that he’d never forget her or these nights they’d spent together. He’d marked her deep in her soul a long time ago and she was just realizing that was why no other man could satisfy her the way he did.

His breath brushed over her lips first and then she took his mouth. His hands went to her back, drawing her as close as possible to his body until they were intimately pressed together. Their kisses were long and languid as they swayed to the music, not even noticing when it stopped playing.

The hand at her waist slowly gathered the fabric of her skirt and drew it up the back of her legs until she felt one of his big warm hands on her buttocks. She gyrated against him and felt him cupping her and pulling her closer to his rock-hard erection. She moaned as the tip of his cock hit her in just the right place.

She used the hand she had at his waistband to unbutton his pants, but didn’t undo the zipper at first. Just teased him by resting a hand there. She felt his cock jump against her fingers as she stroked him before she lowered the zipper enough to slide her hand into the front of his pants.

He was so incredibly hard. She stroked the tip of his cock before letting her fingers drift lower to ride along the side of his shaft. She wished this moment with Jay would never end. She felt so alive, yet so in control. With both hands she pushed his pants and boxers to the floor and he stepped out of them.

He was completely naked. She moved back to admire Jay. She understood that passion was the key to being truly free. Wasn’t that what she’d discovered sitting in the club? And she felt passion as she looked at her man with his muscled chest and the light dusting of hair leading to his manhood, which stood proud and erect because of her.

She felt a surge of love and lust for him. She’d been completely crazy if she’d ever thought it could be just sex between her and Jay and then she’d move on. He was the only man she’d been unable to banish from her thoughts and dreams.

She walked over to him and he simply stood there. She took his hand and led him to the leather couch a few feet away. She pushed him back on the couch and he sank down with all the masculine grace she’d come to expect from him.

She went to kneel next to him on the couch but he stopped her. “Take your panties off.”

Her pulse raced and she felt her pussy moisten at his words. Slowly, she lifted the hem of her dress to reveal first her thighs and then the edge of her panties. As she reached underneath, she slowly drew the tiny lace underwear down her legs.

She stood still, with her skirt held in one hand and turned so that she gave him a full view and bent low to pick up the scrap of cloth. She glanced over her shoulder at him and saw that he was staring at her butt. She tossed her panties on the ground at his feet and then moved back to his side.

He put his hands underneath her skirt, running his fingernails up and down the length of her thighs until she was panting in his grasp. He teased her by coming close to her intimate flesh but never touching it. She reached for his cock, caressing his entire shaft and then lowering her head to lick the tip of it before taking him into her mouth.

His hips jerked from the couch as she cupped him and continued to work his shaft with her mouth. He moved her body around until he could reach her clit with his fingers. She felt him separating her inner lips and then the light brush of his finger against her throbbing core. Moisture pooled between her legs and she felt his forefinger slip lower until he entered her. She moaned against his cock as he excited her, pushing her to the brink.

She sucked more strongly on his cock and tasted a salty drop of him and she swallowed it. But then he pulled her away.

“I don’t want it to be like this when I come,” he said, his voice rough and low. His skin was flushed and she was aroused to the point where she didn’t know anything except desire.

“Come inside me, Jay. I feel so empty without you.”

“Are you ready for me?” he asked, touching her between her legs again. All she could do was nod frantically, waiting for him to finish what they’d started.

“That’s not ready enough,” he said. “Unzip your dress.”

She reached for the side zipper and undid it. The fabric gaped away from her body but still covered her. She ignored it as she tried to climb on his lap, needing his cock inside her now.

He stopped her with his hands on her waist. “Take your dress off.”

“Jay, we don’t need to draw this out. I want you inside me now.”

“No,” he told her, his tone serious. “I want to take my time with you tonight, Aly. Do what I said.”

His firm voice excited her that much more and she frantically ripped at her own clothing trying to get the dress off. Her arms got tangled in it and Jay helped her free herself. She was naked except for the lacy demi-bra she wore.

“Straddle me.”

She did as he ordered, climbing on his lap. He lowered his head and kissed the full globes of her breasts, which were bared by the demi-bra. His hands slid down her back to her buttocks and he drew her forward so that she rode the edge of his cock.

Her grip on his shoulders tightened and she tried to shift around to bring the top of his erection to her opening and get him inside her, but he wasn’t going to be rushed.

One of his hands slid up her back and unfastened her bra. The straps loosened and he used his teeth to pull the fabric away from her breasts. She felt the tip of his tongue on her areole, stroking it until her nipple tightened. Then she felt the warmth of his mouth on her nipple as he sucked on it.

She reached between them and took his cock in her hand and positioned him exactly where she needed him. She thrust herself onto his cock, driving him deep to the heart of her. She rocked her hips back and forth while he continued to suckle her.

He tore his mouth from her breast and looked up at her through half-closed eyes. His hands came to her hips and he began to thrust harder and quicker. She lost control of their embrace as he tilted her head toward his and slipped his tongue teasingly into her mouth as he came inside her.

She shuddered as her own orgasm overtook her. She kept on riding him to prolong her orgasm and then collapsed against him. She relaxed, tracing the lines of his pectorals and drawing a heart over it. She closed her eyes trying not to let her emotions get the better of her, but she knew the truth as soon as he looked her in the eye.

She loved him.

She wanted to say it but knew better than to say anything. She was still too afraid to trust herself or him.

India’s words came back to haunt her. Where was the passion that she was using to embrace life? How was Jay ever going to know that she needed him to stay until she told him?

“Jay?”

“Shh...don’t talk,” he said. He lifted her, stood and walked down the short hall to her bedroom. He set her on her feet in the doorway of the bathroom, and she watched as he went to her garden tub and slowly turned on the taps.

“But I think there is something I need to say.”

“I’m sure there is, but there is something magical going on between us right now and I don’t want it to end. I want this one night, Aly. Is that okay?” he asked.

She nodded. She wanted it, too. She wanted to pretend that this was a world she’d never been in before. That all of her dreams were coming true with this man. She gathered candles from under the sink as he filled the tub with water and her rose-scented bubble bath. She lit the candles and set them on the edge of the tub.

Jay lifted her into water that was the perfect temperature and then climbed into the tub and sat down behind her. She lowered herself gently into the water and settled back against him. His arms were around her and she rested her head once again on his chest. She felt his big arms around her and knew that falling in love with Jay hadn’t made any of her problems disappear. He was still a man at a crossroads, and who knew what path he was going to choose? But for tonight she didn’t regret falling for him.

He had mended her broken heart and given her back some of the romantic dreams he’d stolen from her. He slowly bathed her and she felt tears sting the backs of her eyes as he treated her so tenderly. Jay was a rough man through the life he’d lived but tonight with her he was as gentle as any man could be and he’d found his way right back into her heart.

* * *

J
AY
DIDN
’
T
ALLOW
HIMSELF
to think beyond this night. He’d had a few experiences in his life that he kept protected in his memory. Most of them involved this woman and he didn’t want anything—not even himself—to mar this night.