One Night: Denied (18 page)

She laughs and returns to tea-making duties. ‘I’d rather get a back massage by Edward Scissorhands! Why at my age would I need one of those silly things?’

‘Then it doesn’t matter what sound signals a text, call, or e-mail, does it?’

‘E-mail?’ she screeches. ‘You can send e-mails?’

‘Yes. And you can use the Internet, do your shopping, and delve into social media.’

‘What’s social media?’

I laugh, flopping back in my chair. ‘You won’t live long enough for me to explain, Nan.’

‘Oh.’ She shows complete indifference as she pours boiling water into the teapot, and then milk into a tiny jug. ‘There will be little point for people to leave their homes if technology continues at this rate. Texts and e-mails. Whatever happened to having a face to face conversation with someone, hmmm? Or even a nice chat on the phone. Don’t ever send me a text.’

‘I can’t – you don’t have a mobile.’

‘An e-mail, then. Never send me an e-mail.’

I smirk. ‘You don’t have an e-mail account, so I can’t send you an e-mail either.’

‘Well, that’s a relief.’

I titter to myself and direct my eyes to the screen of my phone as Nan brings the tea to the table and pours, loading mine with sugar.

‘Need fattening up,’ she grumbles, but I ignore her because William’s name is glowing at me, telling me he’s sent me a message – one I know I won’t want to read. It doesn’t stop me from pushing the Open button, though.

This can’t end well.

My teeth grit and I delete the message, damning myself for reading it.

‘I haven’t seen Gregory in a while.’ Nan’s statement is laced with forced nonchalance. She knows he and I aren’t speaking. I can’t bring myself to call him, not after his rant. He was furious and undeniably serious in his threat.

‘He’s been busy.’ I toss my phone in my bag and swipe up my cup of tea, blowing the steam from the surface while I watch Nan stir hers slowly.

‘He’s never been too busy before.’

No valid reason for Gregory’s absence is dawning on me. She knows Miller and Gregory don’t see eye to eye. It would be easier to tell her that he’s slapped conditions on our friendship, but I just can’t be bothered. ‘I’m going to lie down.’ I scoop my satchel up and stand, giving my grandmother’s pouting face a peck. She hates it when I keep things from her, but with my spunky nan being the only person on the planet, other than Miller and me, encouraging our reunion, I’ve concluded that everything should be on a need-to-know basis. And she doesn’t need to know.

I drag myself upstairs and collapse to my arse on the familiar, messy sheets of my bed as I rummage through my satchel and pull out a paper bag. Flicking through the boxes, I find the pack and open it, popping out the pill before placing it on my tongue and closing my mouth. I just sit there, the tiny tablet feeling like lead. Closing my eyes, I eventually swallow it down and chuck the boxes in the top drawer of my bedside table. Then I fall to my back. There’s no darkness to be found, even if I were to pull the curtains across, so I yank a pillow close and roll into it, nuzzling my face deep and clenching my eyes shut. I’m only a fraction through the day and all of the elation I felt on waking this morning has been killed stone-cold dead.

Chapter Fifteen

Fireworks implode, a soft crackling rousing me from a peaceful slumber. It’s dusk and I’m safe. He’s here. I smile and shift in his hold until I’m lost in beautiful, soft blue eyes. My hands disappear beneath his suit jacket, around his back, and I pull myself closer until his warm breath is coating my cheeks. Circling our noses, he shifts his palm to the back of my thigh, tugging it up to his hip. ‘I was worried about you,’ he whispers. ‘What happened?’

‘I threw up on a pair of grannies.’

His eyes sparkle mischievously. ‘I heard.’

‘Then William showed up.’ I’m not surprised when the sparkle dulls and Miller stiffens in my hold.

‘What did he want?’

‘To irritate me,’ I mutter, snuggling into his chest, my cheek resting over his heart. It’s beating a strong steady thrum and the sound settles me completely. ‘Tell me you’ll never abandon me.’

‘I promise.’ He doesn’t falter, like he’s had a warning that I’d make this request, like he knows why William is hounding me.

It’s enough, because Miller Hart doesn’t make promises that he can’t keep. ‘Thank you.’

‘Don’t thank me, Olivia. Never thank me. Come here, let me see you.’ He wrestles me from the sanctuary of his body and props himself up against my headboard, arranging me on his lap just so. I can feel his erection wedged between our bodies, long and hard, but by the look on Miller’s face, I’m on my own in the lust department. I frown and take a sneaky grind as he clasps my hands and entwines our fingers. Then he cocks a knowing eyebrow at me. ‘Why do you work at the bistro?’

His odd question halts my tempting tactics in their tracks. ‘To earn money.’ That’s not strictly true. I have a bank account bursting at the seams with cash.

‘I have plenty of money. You slaving away in a London café isn’t necessary.’

I bite my bottom lip, worrying it back and forth as I comprehend what he’s saying. His Adam’s apple is bobbing in his throat from his constant swallows. He’s nervous of my reaction, and he should be. ‘I don’t need any man’s money,’ I state quite calmly, even though his hint has zapped my serenity of a few moments ago.

‘I’m not just
any man
, Olivia.’ His palms slide to my upper arms and pull me close to the stubbled shadow of his jaw. Blue eyes scorch me with heated annoyance, but he’s still gentle with me, and his tone is soft. ‘Don’t upset yourself.’

‘I’m not. I just want to earn my own money.’

‘I know you have more ambition than making coffee.’ Miller’s tone is patronising, and while I could point out that his ambitions were a lot less commendable, I’m not up for another confrontation today.

‘I’m tired.’ I cop out from the line of conversation with that pathetic statement and fall onto his suit-covered chest, pushing my face into his neck and filling my nose with his manly scent.

‘Tired.’ He sighs and envelops me in his arms. ‘It’s six thirty in the evening and I believe you have been in this bed since noon.’

I ignore his observation and reach up to play with his ear, rubbing his lobe through my index finger and thumb. ‘How was your day?’

‘Long. What did Anderson want?’

‘I told you, to irritate me.’

‘Elaborate.’

‘No.’

‘I’ve asked once.’

‘You can ask as many times as you like,’ I whisper. ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’

I’m being moved before I can stiffen my muscles to hinder him. He pushes me up so I’m straddling his lap and clamps down on my thighs, impatience hazy in his gaze. ‘Tough luck.’

‘For you,’ I mutter indignantly. I’m pushing his buttons, but I have no desire to share my recent revelations with Miller right now – probably never will. I was a baby of convenience, and not of the regular kind. I served one purpose and one purpose alone, and that failed miserably, anyway.

I’m under close scrutiny. He’s waiting for my elaboration, which will never come, yet Miller’s expectant pose doesn’t block more unpleasant thoughts from creeping through the barriers of my mind. How must William have felt knowing Gracie got pregnant by another man when he loved her so deeply? She was punishing him by sleeping with other men, that’s now clear, but did she mean to get herself knocked up? Was one of my purposes to cripple William with hurt, too? And would William have made my mother terminate me had I not been of use in diverting the enemy? I was a pawn, that’s all. An object used to William’s advantage.

‘Olivia?’ Miller’s gentle, encouraging mention of my name sucks my dejected mind back into the room where I’m faced with someone who
does
want me. Not because I serve a purpose, but because I am
their
purpose.

‘William used me,’ I murmur, the words causing me physical pain. I was over this. I was past the hurt of being abandoned, but now I’m facing a new kind of hurt. ‘My mother got herself pregnant by another man to punish William.’ I wince at my own cold words and clench my eyes shut. ‘They were in love. William and my mother were hopelessly in love and couldn’t be together because of William’s world. If the wrong people found out about his relationship with Gracie, they would have used her against him.’ I’m suddenly considering the possibility of William keeping Gracie close by, not only to fuel his need to see her, but also as another deterrent. He never got involved with his girls. It was common knowledge.

My eyes remain locked tightly shut until I feel movement beneath me and Miller’s warm mouth on mine. ‘Shhh,’ he hushes me, despite the fact that I’ve stopped speaking. I have nothing more to say and I hope Miller doesn’t push for more. Every tiny snippet of information that William fed me this morning, all of the intensity and passion between him and my mother that he spoke of, was annihilated with his final enlightenment.

You saved your mother’s life.

No, I didn’t, and my current state of mind won’t allow me to feel remorseful about it. ‘How long have you known William?’ I ask quietly as he rains gentle pecks on my cheeks and lips.

‘Ten years.’ His answer carries an air of finality and his mouth continues to seduce mine, his tongue slipping past my lips and sweeping reverently in circles. I feel distracted, so I pull away from his busy mouth and study him for a moment, pushing his misbehaving wave from his brow. He’s not happy about my withdrawal, which only increases my suspicion.

‘When you found out I knew William, you knew he’d have something to say about us, didn’t you? He doesn’t agree with how you conduct business.’

‘Correct.’

‘That’s it?’

He shrugs a little, displaying indifference. ‘Anderson has a lot to say about a lot of things, me included.’

‘He said you’re immoral,’ I whisper, dropping my gaze to our laps, almost ashamed of sharing William’s thoughts, which is ridiculous when I’ve heard William tell Miller this to his face.

‘Look at me.’ The pad of his finger slips under my chin and raises my face to his. I’m immediately consumed with blazing eyes and soft parted lips. ‘Never with you,’ he says slowly, quietly, holding my eyes like magnets.

I knew that. Our horrid hotel encounter needs to be forgotten. That wasn’t my Miller. ‘I love you,’ I tell him on a quiet gush of air, slipping my arms under his and melding into his torso, my cheek lying on his shoulder. He responds with an almost undetectable groan and takes me to my back, the length of his body pinning me to the bed. ‘You’ll be all crumpled,’ I muse, ruffling his hair and trying to push my rendezvous with William away. All of those years I wished for an explanation, went to epic lengths to find it, and now I’ve stumbled upon it and I wholeheartedly wish I hadn’t.

‘It could be worse.’ He nips at my neck, the hot pressure of his mouth sending me on a little writhe.

‘How?’ Miller’s obsession with his appearance is definitely lessening, and while it should please me immensely that some of his uptight, picky ways are evidently easing up, I can’t figure out why I seem to be more bothered by his waning care than he does.

‘We could be scheduled to eat out.’

My brow furrows, but he continues before I can ask what on earth he’s talking about.

‘Luckily, your lovely grandmother has offered to feed us.’ He pushes up on his forearms and looks down at me, a cunning glint in his eyes. I know what he’s looking for and I won’t disappoint him. I roll my eyes.

‘Did she pin you down until you agreed?’

‘Not necessary.’ Miller drops a lazy kiss on my lips and rises, the shift pushing his hips into my lower stomach. My eyes widen and moisture bombards my centre. Now that I have emptied my mind of unwanted burdens, there’s room for something else. Something appealing.

Desire.

Nibbling my bottom lip, I reach up to his shoulders and smooth down the sleeves of his suit jacket, the feel of tight muscle beneath only heightening my growing wanton state. He shakes his head slowly, definitely, unwaveringly, and I deflate on an annoyed huff of breath. ‘Control yourself, then.’ I tip my hips up and spike a sharp inhale of breath from him, followed up with a poor attempt to scowl at me. I grin and repeat. Of course, this only teases me further, too, but Miller’s struggle to contain himself ignites a childish rebellion in me. I flip up again and watch on a laugh as he jumps off the bed and starts brushing himself down and pulling at his jacket.

‘Really, Olivia?’

I sit up, a wicked grin on my face. ‘It’s always on your terms,’ I state, resting my chin in my palm and my elbow on my knee. He’s still busy rearranging himself, choosing to answer without looking at me.

‘It’s a good job, wouldn’t you agree?’

‘It’s polite to look at someone when they’re talking to you.’

Frantic hands halt in their fussing and an impassive face slowly rises to mine. ‘It’s a good job, wouldn’t you agree?’

‘No, I wouldn’t.’ Images of a gym, a paint studio, and cars jump all over my mind. At least there’s a bed here. And it’s
my
bedroom. I slide off the mattress and pace slowly and purposely over to him. He watches me, standing silently, almost cautiously, until my chest is pushed into his. I lift my eyes to his mouth. Hot, lusty air streams from parted lips, fuelling my hunger, swelling my confidence. ‘I won’t make it through dinner,’ I warn, flicking my eyes to his.

‘I won’t disrespect your grandmother, Olivia.’

My eyes narrow and a conniving hand stretches forward and brushes over his groin. He jumps back. I move forward. ‘Don’t be so uptight.’

Strong hands circle my upper arms and a face full of frustration lowers to mine. ‘No,’ he says simply.

‘Yes,’ I retort, struggling out of his hold and cupping him over his trousers. ‘You’re the one who’s unleashed this need, so you’re under obligation to remedy it.’

‘Fucking hell!’

I inwardly cheer, knowing I have him. He can’t make me endure another dinner at Nan’s table when I’m in this condition. I’ll spontaneously combust. ‘Loosen up.’

‘Give me strength, Olivia.’ He knocks my hand away from his groin and tackles me to the bed, the frame squeaking, the headboard smacking the wall behind. My victory fills me with unreasonable pride. My lips press together and my eyes clench shut as he circles deliciously into me, the friction having me trying to shift my legs beneath him to alleviate the pressure building between my thighs. My actions earn me more restraint. He nails my wrists to the mattress. ‘You want me?’ he breathes in my face, gently thrusting forward, pushing the bated breath from my lungs. I cry out, my eyes flying open. Dark lashes greet me, framing intoxicating blues. ‘Don’t make me ask you again.’

‘Yes!’ I yelp at the delivery of another calculated thrust, feeling him solid beneath the material of his trousers. Dizziness overwhelms me and the room starts spinning wildly, yet Miller’s perfect face is still perfectly clear before me. ‘Miller,’ I pant, loving and hating his control over my body all at once.

Smug satisfaction plagues his features. And then he pushes himself off me and sets about sorting his suit out again. ‘Come. Your grandmother has gone to a lot of trouble.’

My mouth falls open in utter disbelief. ‘You’re not . . .’

‘Oh, I am.’ He collects me from the bed and begins to make me look presentable while I stand unequivocally dumbstruck by his underhanded game. He’s solid. It must be painful, because I know that I’m suffering. He brushes my wild hair over each shoulder, looking satisfied with the result. ‘Your cheeks are flushed,’ he says, his voice loaded with smugness.

‘How—’ His finger meets my lips to hush me before he replaces it with his lips, escalating my sexed-up condition. ‘Just think how much more you’ll enjoy me later when I can take my time with you.’

‘You’re unbelievably cruel,’ I whimper, throwing my arms around his neck and tackling his wonderful mouth, desperate to get all I can before he wrestles me off him.

He doesn’t prise me away, instead lifting me from my feet and carrying me to the door while returning my kiss, accepting my tongue dancing wildly in his mouth and moaning his appreciation as he does. In an attempt to trap him further, I curl my thighs around his tight hips and arch my spine, sealing our chests and balling my fists in his hair. I hum, I whimper, I sigh. My head tilts, my mouth tracks the lines of his lips, and my teeth bite down in between plunges of my tongue. This isn’t improving my thirst, but if it’s all I’m getting for the time being, then I’m making the most of it. My eyes are closed and Miller’s palms are cupping my bottom, squeezing, massaging and smoothing as he takes the stairs down to the hallway. My time’s running out.

‘Olivia,’ he pants, breaking our mouth contact.

‘Nuh-uh,’ I moan, pushing into the back of his head, reattaching my lips to his.

‘Jesus, you’re ruining me.’

Through my dizziness, I register the stupidity of such a statement. ‘Take me to your place,’ I beg, knowing I’m pleading in vain. Miller’s far too polite to stand my grandmother up. I can smell a hearty meal, something stodgy simmering upon the stove, and I hear Nan singing chirpily in the kitchen.

‘She’s gone to too much trouble.’ He peels me away from his suit and sets me on my feet, tugging my top into place. ‘Aren’t you hungry?’ His eyes drop to my too-flat stomach.