He could not argue with her logic but something deep inside him wanted to rail at her. Her words sounded more like excuses to his ears. Was there another reason she didn’t want to marry him? Perhaps she loved another man and used Nicholas to forget him as he had used her to forget Jennette. He wanted to tell her that he didn’t love Jennette any longer. Yet, he said nothing to dissuade her. How could he when there were still some lingering feelings for Jennette?
“I should leave,” he finally responded.
“Yes.”
Only leaving was the last thing he wanted to do. He wanted to pick her up, bring her upstairs and make love to her again. The desire to be with her overwhelmed his mind. Being with her, made him feel different, alive. And he hadn’t felt like that in well over a year.
“Please, Nicholas,” she whispered, “just leave.”
“As you wish, madam.” He walked to the door and then turned with a smile. Holding up her earring, he said, “If you want this back, come to my home tomorrow evening at nine.”
The next morning, Sophie sat in the chair where she and Nicholas had made love last evening. She had lay awake most of the night, wondering why she reacted as she did with him. Logically, none of it made sense. But she had never been the most logical of women. She trusted her instinct, her sight, and her feelings. Although none of those things were helping her either.
Her eyes filled with tears but she refused to cry over him. He was not the one for her. Nicholas was . . . was only a diversion.
A wonderful, sensual diversion.
He wanted her to collect her earring tonight. At his home. This could only cause more trouble. They both lusted after each other but if they continued this relationship it would only bring pain. Nevertheless, she wasn’t ready to stop seeing him. There was something about him that brought wicked thoughts to her mind and fervent reactions from her body.
Nicholas was a man who might get into her heart if she let him. And she could not allow that to happen. If he were the man for her then she would know it, feel it, sense it. Every time she attempted to see her future she saw nothing, therefore, he was not the man for her.
She felt as if she were going mad. She must talk to someone about this and Avis seemed to be the most likely candidate. Avis was the farthest removed from Nicholas, and the most logical. Plus she had taken Selby as her lover before marriage. So, if anyone could help her it must be Avis.
When Sophie arrived at the Selby home, she prayed her friend would see her without inviting any of their other friends to join them. Entering the small parlor, Sophie heaved a relieved sigh seeing only two cups on the tea tray.
“Lady Selby will be here presently,” the footman said, then walked from the room.
Avis crossed the threshold a moment later, and closed the door, cloaking them in privacy. She had her tawny hair pulled into a loose chignon and ink stains on her fingers. “I’m sorry, Sophie. Just as you arrived, I had the best idea for an upcoming scene for my next book. I had to jot down a few notes so I would not forget them.”
“I understand.”
Avis had one book published and was working on her second. Sophie felt a little stab of envy pierce her heart at Avis’s successes. Her friend had a wonderful husband, a beautiful little girl, and a passion for writing.
“What is wrong, Sophie?” Avis sat next to her on the sofa and clasped her hand. “Ever since you matched Victoria and Somerton you have been acting oddly. And honestly, your behavior has been even more unusual since your return from Venice. You have known me longer than any of our friends. I wish you would confide in me.”
Sophie blinked several times. “It’s a man, Avis.”
Avis smiled broadly. “I had a feeling it might be. Someone you met in Venice?”
“Yes. But he is an Englishman.” Sophie glanced down at the pale blue Persian carpet. “And you know him.”
“I do?”
“Well, of all our friends, you may know him the least. That is why I came to you.”
Avis frowned. “Who is it?”
“Lord Ancroft,” she whispered.
“Ancroft!” Avis exclaimed with a broad smile. “That is wonderful!”
Sophie shook her head. “But it’s not. Avis, he is not the man for me.”
Avis released Sophie’s hand and reached for the tea. She handed a cup to Sophie and then sat back against the brocade sofa with her own cup. “Now, tell me why he isn’t the man for you.”
“I would know,” Sophie said, then sipped her tea. She let the flavorful liquid wash over her tongue and its warmth soothed her.
“Explain.”
“Just as I knew Selby was the man for you. And Blackburn for Jennette, Kendal for Elizabeth, and even Somerton for Victoria. I don’t
see
Ancroft for me.”
Avis sipped her tea and then pursed her lips. “Are you certain?” Before Sophie could reply, Avis added, “I mean, perhaps you are not seeing him for you because you don’t believe you deserve such a man.”
“What do you mean?”
“You are the daughter of an earl who won’t claim you. Your mother was an actress and mistress to several men. Is it possible that you do not feel you are worthy of a man who will someday be a duke?”
Sophie stared down at the tea in her cup. Was she intentionally blocking her sight for just those reasons? It was possible. But it didn’t explain why she had never seen his face before she knew who he was. Truthfully, she knew she wasn’t worthy of being a duchess but it was more than that.
Everyone she ever loved deserted her. Her mother left any time a man made her an offer. Her father had rarely ever visited her in twenty-six years. If she fell in love with a man like Nicholas and then lost him to either a wife or mistress, she doubted she’d recover.
“I don’t know, Avis.”
“You must forget all those worries. Ancroft is a wonderful man.” Avis leveled a wicked smile at her. “Do what you suggested each of us do.”
“What is that?”
“Seduce the man,” Avis replied with a laugh.
Sophie looked away as her cheeks burned. How did her friend know that seducing him was all she’d thought about from the first time she’d met him? Avis started to chortle.
“Oh, dear,” Avis said, laughing and trying to catch her breath. “You already have!”
“Yes,” Sophie admitted. “When you went away with Selby you knew you would be his mistress. Did you ever think you shouldn’t be with him?”
Avis giggled. “I was certain I shouldn’t be with him. He’d tricked me into choosing him. Plus, he was Jennette’s brother.”
“But you still went.”
Avis looked away with a dreamy stare and a slight smile. “I didn’t want to desire him as I did. I was certain it was very wrong.”
Sophie glanced down at her pale blue skirts. “Would you have been happy just being his mistress?”
“I wasn’t his mistress, Sophie. He was my lover and that was all I wanted from him.”
Could she be as bold? The idea of taking Nicholas as her lover seemed to have taken over her thoughts. She’d never met such a fascinating man. Why was she even questioning this? Her mother had been doing it for years. And she had never lost her heart over any of her lovers.
“I’m thinking of taking Nicholas as my lover,” she whispered as heat burned her cheeks. “At least until one of us becomes bored with the other.”
Avis grinned broadly. “I think that is a splendid idea.”
“Oh, Avis, you mustn’t tell a soul. It is not like you and Banning or any of the others.”
“How so?”
She shouldn’t tell Avis his secret. But of all Sophie’s friends, Avis was the most circumspect. She would never tell a soul this secret. “Ancroft is in love with another woman.” And there was nothing Sophie could do about that.
Avis’s smile turned downward. “Then why would you become his lover?”
Why indeed? “I cannot seem to stop myself.”
Chapter 6
Nicholas sipped his brandy, letting the heady liquid rest on his tongue for a moment. After Emma left to see Elizabeth for the night, he’d been sitting in his study watching the hands on the clock move far too slowly. If Sophie showed up and wanted what he desired, they would have to locate to a different place for their liaisons. He could not have her here when his daughter was upstairs.
Glancing over at the clock on the mantel, he knew it was time to retire the servants for the night. The fewer people around when she arrived, the better. He walked to the hall and summoned his manservant.
“Lane, tell the servants they may retire early tonight.”
“Yes, my lord.” Lane cast a glance toward the footman. “Jonathon, too?”
“No, he may stay at the door.”
“And me?”
Nicholas smirked. “I won’t need your services tonight.”
“Yes, my lord.” Lane walked toward the kitchen to inform the cook and other servants.
“Jonathon,” Nicholas said as he walked toward the front door. “I am expecting someone tonight. When she arrives, show her to my study.”
“Yes, my lord.”
Nicholas returned to his brandy and clock watching, hoping the next thirty minutes would pass quickly. But when thirty minutes turned into an hour, his patience started to wear thin.
“Where the bloody hell is she?” he muttered in the empty room. He’d been positive that the earring meant something special to her.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out the bauble. Whoever gave her this spent a fortune. The firelight sparkled across the dangling diamonds set in platinum. It couldn’t have been from a lover but who else would spend that amount on a woman who wasn’t his wife?
A knock sounded on the front door and suddenly his heart started pounding in his chest. He couldn’t remember ever feeling nervous about a woman entering his home. But everything about Sophie was different. Never had lust become so overpowering to him.
Not even with Jennette.
“My lord, Miss Reynard is here.”
Nicholas stood as Sophie strolled into the room wearing a low cut silver silk gown that displayed the valley of her breasts to his depraved gaze. Dear God, she’d better want to be his mistress. Stripping that gown from her luscious body would be heavenly.
“Good evening, Miss Reynard,” he finally remembered to say.
“Good evening, my lord.”
“Jonathon, you may retire,” he said without taking his gaze off Sophie.
“But, sir, I usually watch the house until dawn.”
“The house will be fine without you tonight.”
Dragging his eyes away from her, he watched as the footman left for his bed. Once the door shut behind Jonathon, Nicholas moved closer to her. “I wasn’t certain you would come.”
“You have something I want.”
He hoped it was the same thing he wanted. “And what is that?”
She glanced up at him through her lashes as a slow smile lifted her lips. “My earring,” she said in the most seductive voice he’d ever heard.
“Is there anything else you might desire while you are here?”
“We shall have to wait and see.” She moved closer to the fireplace until her dress shimmered in the firelight.
He walked to the brandy and poured a glass for both of them. Handing it to her, he asked, “So tell me, why is that earring so important to you?”
She laughed lightly. “I cannot wear only one.”
“I suppose you can’t,” he said with a chuckle. “Who bought them for you?”
“My . . . friend.”
“Only a husband or lover would buy something that fine.”
She sipped her brandy. “Perhaps,” she replied with a shrug. “But since I have had only one lover and no husband, I shall call the person a friend.”
He realized that no matter how hard he tried, she would not reveal the name of the man who bought the earrings for her. Perhaps they were from her father. After all, he’d heard the stories that her father paid her expenses as long as she never named him. That might explain their significance.
“Do you plan to give me the earring?” she asked, placing the snifter on the table. “Or was this just a ruse to get me to your home late at night?”
He stalked her until reaching her position by the fireplace and then dragged her into his arms. “What would you give me for the earring?”
Her musical laugh tickled his ear.
“I have already given you more than any other man.”
“True.” He bent his head and kissed the side of her soft neck. “But I believe a reward might be in order.”
“Hmm, what do you have in mind?”
He trailed kisses down to her shoulder. Feeling her shudder, he nipped her skin with his teeth. “I think you know what I have in mind.”
She pressed her lower belly against his burgeoning erection. “I believe I do.”
“Sophie, I want you as my mistress.”
Sophie stiffened. Hearing his words had a strange effect on her. A mistress entailed more than she was willing to give him. She didn’t want that, but she didn’t want to end their relationship just yet.
She wondered if he would reject her offer. Jennette was lost to him, and Sophie doubted Jennette’s feelings were ever anything but loving friend. Sophie knew of no man of quality who would ever offer for her. So she could never get what she wanted either. Therefore if neither could get what they wanted would this idea hurt anyone?
“No,” she finally replied.
“Why not?” He continued his loving assault on her shoulder. “I can give you anything you want, a house, carriages, servants.”
She laughed. “I already have those items.” Quieting her voice to a whisper, she added, “All I want is you.”
He fell silent and stopped his hot kisses. “I don’t understand, Sophie. You won’t be my mistress, but you say you still want me.”
She pressed her lips against his strong jaw. “I will be your lover. An equal. With the right to tell you what I want and when. The same as you. With the right to end this relationship if I decide. There will be no gifts and no money. Nothing to make me feel like a prostitute.”
He smiled against her shoulder before lifting his head and looking down at her. “I believe we both might enjoy that alliance.”
“There will be no talk of marriage or love,” she added. She could never allow herself to fall in love with him when she already knew they could never be together. By protecting her heart, she wouldn’t feel the bitter taste of abandonment when they ended the relationship.
“How does one stop oneself from falling in love?” he asked with a deep frown.
“Surely, you haven’t fallen in love with all your mistresses.”
“No, but I never created rules such as yours with my mistresses. We both knew going into the arrangement that I would not and could not marry them.”
“Exactly, as is our case. Only that also includes love in our case. We cannot and will not fall in love.” She caressed his cheek with the back of her hand.
He shook his head. “It is not always that easy, sweetheart.”
“I do understand that, Nicholas. But if we agree in advance, then if one of us feels their attraction is turning into more, that person should end the relationship.”
“Very well, if that is how you would like this arrangement”—he paused for a moment as if he had more reservations—“I agree.”
“So now what?”
His brown eyes smoldered with gold flecks. He took her hand and led her up to his bedchamber in silence. Firelight danced across the room as he stared at her.
Sophie turned to get a breath before his look burned her to a cinder. His room was exactly how she would have pictured it. A large four poster bed occupied the majority of space with a mahogany night-stand next to it. On the opposite wall, a clothing press and cheval-glass mirror took up most of the space. Two gold velvet wingback chairs were placed by the fireplace. The walls were covered in a dark blue paper.
“Are you nervous?” he asked.
She spun around with a forced laugh. “Of course not!”
“I have wanted to strip that beautiful dress off you since you walked into my study.”
Sophie swallowed and watched as he walked to the mirror and turned it toward the bed. “What are you doing?”
The smile he sent her almost buckled her knees. She had heard of many peculiar things men liked in bed from her mother, but Sophie never imagined her body reacting so intensely to the idea of watching Nicholas make love to her. Her pulse thrummed and her folds dampened with desire.
“Come here,” he whispered, holding out his hand to her.
She walked over by the bed where he stood. He turned her to face the bedpost and then kissed her neck again. Sophie shivered as his fingers went to the buttons on the back of her dress and slowly slid them through their holes. From the angle of the mirror, she could see his mouth follow the path of the buttons down her back.
He slipped the silk off her shoulders. The dress looked like a glittering pond with the light of the fire dancing upon it. His hands moved to her stays and quickly unlaced them. In only a moment, she was standing naked by the bedpost with the rest of her undergarments strewn across the floor.
She held onto the bedpost for support as he trailed hot kisses down her back to her derrière. He slowly turned her so she faced him again.
“Why am I naked and you are not?” she asked, reaching for his coat.
“That is a problem most easily solved.” He tore at his clothing until he stood before her as naked as she was. “Better?”
“Much,” she said, reaching for his cock. She skimmed her fingers up the long length of him and watched his reaction in the mirror. Remembering what her mother told her men like the most, she circled her tongue around the velvety tip of him.
“Sophie,” he groaned. He reached for her hair and removed the pins, allowing her tresses to fall down her back.
She brought him completely into her mouth. Mimicking the movements they’d made in bed, she slid her mouth up and down his length.
“Oh, dear God,” he moaned, staring at her in the mirror. “Sophie, no more.” He lifted her up and moved her back against the post. His mouth found her taut nipple and suckled her.
Sophie couldn’t take her eyes off the mirror as he tugged and teased her breasts. Bringing her hands behind her back, she clung to the bedpost. The aching in her womb deepened. She needed him, wanted him.
“Nicholas, please.”
“Not yet,” he murmured. He kissed his way down her belly until he reached her moist folds. He placed one of her legs on the bed board allowing him greater access, and her the ability to see exactly what he was doing.
Watching his tongue on her was driving her mad with desire. When he slid his finger inside her, she almost buckled. He glided his finger in and out of her, imitating the action of his penis. Aching need spiraled deep inside of her until she felt compelled to close her eyes and let the climax wash over her. Shaking as she clutched the bedpost, she moaned his name.
With a laugh, he turned her to face the post again. “Watch as I enter you,” he whispered against her neck.
She forced her eyes open again and stared as he slowly entered her depths. Her fingers dug into the bedpost as he filled her. Arching her back, she sighed as pleasure swept over her.
She gazed at the mirror as he slid out and then back into her until she moaned. Pressure built inside her while he continued to fill her completely. Shivers of pleasure radiated and grew until she shattered.
“Oh, God, Sophie, I need to withdraw.”
“No, I took care of that,” she groaned, sliding her hips against him.
He clasped her hips and stilled her movements as he reached his pinnacle. “Sophie,” he moaned against her back.
Sophie woke to the soft sound of a heartbeat pattering against her ear. Nicholas had his arm around her as she rested on his chest. After a magical night of making love, she now wondered if there was any possibility that she would be able to keep her own commandment. There was something about him that made her heart leap when she saw him. How would she be able to keep herself from falling in love with him?
She loved the strength of his arm around her. With him, she felt alive and not lonely.
“What are you thinking about?”
She lifted her head from his chest and smiled down at him. Her heart skipped a beat when he returned her grin. “You.”
“Me? Why would you do that? I am a dreadfully boring person.”
“Hardly.”
“What would anyone find interesting about me?”
She laughed and traced his jaw with her finger. “Other than the obvious physical attributes?” she asked and then let her gaze follow down his stomach to the tented coverlet rising from his erection.