One of the Guys (2 page)

I had a strong feeling it was to
piss off Logan because he knew he hated it.

Matt looking at me like that, just
emphasized the fact that I am, indeed, a girl.

I didn’t like the way he looked at
me. Especially when I was only sixteen at the time and he was
almost twenty.

It wasn’t long that his somewhat
‘playful’ nickname for me changed to something else; something
disgusting.

He called me ‘cock-block’ saying
that nobody would date Logan because of me and that I was a
hindrance.

Secretly, I was happy about it. Not
the name, no that was just gross and I didn’t like the way Matt
made it sound as if I were a burden to Logan and his chances of
‘getting laid’. It was the thought that Logan wouldn’t date
anybody.

I really hated Matt. He made me
feel bad about myself.

Recently, he’d moved out and gotten
a job after college, and we hardly saw him, but his comments over
the years had always played on my mind.

“
This is so awesome.” Logan said
when we got out of the car. His eyes lighting up and a huge grin
across his gorgeous face. I watched as he ran a hand through his
almost black hair.

It had gotten longer, falling into
his eyes at the front, but I liked it. The back and sides had been
cut shorter, blending in with the longer top.

I was tempted to run my hand
through it too.

“
Um… where do we go?” I asked,
halting my thoughts of things I wanted to do to my best
friend.

“
This way.” He said, pointing to
the signs showing where the entrance booths were.

We gave our tickets and found our
way to the track. I noticed a few people glancing our way. Probably
wondering what Logan was doing with a girl like me. I would wonder
it too if I were them.

Logan: the hot, gorgeous baseball
player, and me: the plain girl in too big clothing.

Just another feeling I tried to
swallow. Logan was my best friend for almost three years and if I
allowed myself to wallow in the bad feelings I had he might feel
bad too, and I didn’t want that.

“
Here.” He said, putting his arm
around my shoulder. Not like the way a couple would, but more to
steer me in the right direction because as soon as I turned… he
dropped his hand.

“
What are you doing for junior
prom?” He asked me suddenly, and I was surprised.

I studied his face as he looked
ahead. He didn’t look nervous or shy. This was normal conversation
so I don’t know why I had churning feelings in my stomach. He
wasn’t going to ask me.

Just breathe Chase.
I thought, trying to calm myself.

“
The usual, you?” I asked, as if I
didn’t care.

The usual was sitting at home,
eating pizza, and playing video games or watching a
movie.

“
The usual too, if that’s
ok?”

“
Sure, why wouldn’t it
be?”

Logan and I didn’t go to high
school dances. Not like he was short of options. I think our entire
female year wanted to ask him, or him to ask them, but he never
went.

I; on the other hand, had never
been asked to a dance. Not even once. I think Logan took pity on
me.

The spring dance, during freshman
year, he asked whether I had been asked by anybody. I told him no,
and I thought that he was going to.

He didn’t.

Instead, he suggested we both hung
out at his house.

He’d been asked, but he said he
didn’t like dances so he’d never go.

“
You know, just in case somebody
had asked you to go with them.” He said bringing me back to the
present.

Logan seemed indifferent, as though
he was just discussing plans with one of his other
friends.

“
Logan.” I looked at him with a
raised eyebrow. “We’ve been friends since the beginning of high
school. Out of all the dances, how many have I been to?” I asked
rhetorically.

He snorted a laugh and
smiled.

“
So what movie do you want to
see?”

“
Who asked you?” I asked before I
could stop my stupid mouth from opening.

“
What?” He looked surprised; his
eyes widening and I noticed a flush across his cheeks.

“
Never mind. It doesn’t matter. I
just want you to know that you don’t have to stay with me. If you
want to go then, you should.”

“
I
don’t
want to.
You
know
that,
Chase.”

“
But you
were
asked.”

His silence told me that he
had.

“
Seriously,
Logan. You don’t have to try to make me feel better because
I
wasn’t.”

He looked at me then. His blue
eyes, with a darker circle of blue around the irises bore into
mine; a small frown on his face.

“
Nobody
asked you?” He asked as if he
didn’t believe me.

“
Nobody ever has, Logan, and you
know it.” I tried to play it as though I didn’t care.

But I did.

Although I would say no, so I
could stay with Logan; it would be nice for somebody to
actually
want
me
to go with them. But, I guess that’s what happened when your only
friends were guys and you wore clothes to hide away in.

Logan looked down to the floor for
a second before looking away. I thought I saw an angry expression
on his face, but then he turned back with a smile.

“
It’s starting.” He said happily
when the commentator’s voice came through the
loudspeakers.

We looked up to the huge screen and
saw the dirt bikes lined up, the riders revving their
engines.

This was it. Twenty minutes of pure
adrenaline and about four-seconds of it would be up
close.

Another screen was split for each
rider. A mounted camera on their bikes so all spectators could see
everything.

There was a bang, and the race
began. We could hear the engines roaring in the
distance.

Logan and I stood at the side of
the track, behind the safety barriers, and watched the split
screen.

We were routing for number five to
win. His name was Jez, and he was famous for motocross racing
throughout the state.

The cameras changed regularly on
the bigger screen, showing one racer at a time close-up.

“
Oh my God!” Logan gasped when one
racer took a corner too sharply and almost came off their
bike.

I could feel his body heat behind
me as we were turned into the direction of the track, waiting for
the few seconds that the bikes would come hurtling past us at
one-hundred miles per hour.

It was a small bend, so we were
probably going to get a little muddy.

“
Hear that?” Logan asked excitedly
as he gripped my arm causing me to break out in
goosebumps.

I’d seen him do that with the guys
too, so I knew there was nothing in it. When he’d played baseball,
and Stu was running for a home run; Logan had gripped Lex’s arm
with both hands in anticipation of the win.

“
Here they are!” He said, his grip
leaving me and his hands landing on my shoulders.

I immediately felt the rush of
electricity shoot down through my body, to my feet. The same zing I
always felt whenever Logan touched me. It had intensified over the
years.

I don’t know exactly when I’d
fallen in love with him, but I knew it was in that first
year.

He could never know, though. He was
my best friend and he didn’t like me that way. I was just ‘one of
the guys’.

*****

“
Chase!” Logan
squealed.

I swear my Dad bought my birthday
present for Logan instead of me.

The bikes zoomed towards us.
Swerving and sliding in the dirt; muddy water spraying
everywhere.

They approached, and the rider,
Jez, came towards us. He skidded around the bend, spraying us with
mud.

Now, I’ve never been a girly girl,
as you know. The type who screams when their hands get dirty or
they chip their nail polish, but I have to admit… all that mud
wasn’t as fun as I thought it would be. I mean, I was covered from
head to toe.
Nobody
would be happy with that.

“
Woo!” Logan cheered, and I turned
to see him grinning.

The fucker had been shielded by me!
He got the tiniest little bit on his face and in his
hair.

“
Holy shit, Chase, you’re covered!”
He laughed.

“
Thank you for using me as your
shield, ass!” I spat, the mud dripping from my chin.

“
I didn’t mean to, Chase. I didn’t
know it was going to be like that.” He said, his laugh dying
out.

I felt a little bad for getting
angry with him. Being so much taller; of course, he would be
standing behind me. The rider had skidded into the corner; his back
wheel aiming right at me.

“
Come here.” He said and started to
wipe my face with his sleeves.

“
It’s ok, Logan. Just leave it.” I
said, pulling away. I don’t know why it did, but the look in his
eyes as he wiped my face upset me.

Amusement.

He thought it was funny as
hell.

It probably was, but knowing I
wasn’t finding it particularly amusing at that moment had me almost
in tears.

I was feeling emotional. I was due
my period in a couple of days, so I probably had PMS but, despite
that, I was reaching the end of my rope.

I didn’t know how much more I could
take being just friends with Logan.

“
Look, I’m sorry. Ok?” Logan said
on the drive back.

I’d been able to sit without
covering the seat in mud by taking off my hoodie, and the back of
my pants were ok. Conveniently, and I
did
wonder why, Logan had a blanket
in the trunk of his car and he draped it over my seat.

“
I didn’t mean to laugh that
hard.”

I ignored him. I crossed my arms,
being careful to put them on the
top
of my chest and not under. I
wasn’t about to have my cleavage pushed under my chin.

“
Chase.”

I didn’t answer him.

“
Come on, you knew it was going to
be dirty…” His voice trailed off as he realized how that sounded.
“I didn’t mean…”

“
I know what you
meant.” I mumbled. “
Nobody
means anything else when talking to me.” I
said.

I never meant to say that bit out
loud, and I cringed when I heard the words leave my
mouth.

“
What? What do you mean by
that?”

“
Nothing, forget it.” I said as
Logan pulled up outside my house.

We walked through the door and
instantly, my Dad cracked up.

“
Don’t, Dad, Just don’t.” I said as
I turned to the stairs. “I’m going for a shower.”

I stomped, as carefully as I could,
to my personal bathroom.

I took off my clothes and rinsed
them in the water as I washed my hair…twice. When the water finally
ran clear, I got out and dried myself.

I wrung out my clothes and put them
in the sink, ready to take them to the washer.

I wanted to wear my favorite navy
blue cargo pants, and they were in the laundry room downstairs.
Logan hadn’t come up with me, so I couldn’t call out to ask him to
get my clothes for me.

Sometimes, I would stay in my
bathroom and he would get stuff and pass it through to me; my hand
sticking out of the doorway. I wasn’t about to call him for a
favor, the way I was feeling, so I’d have to get them
myself.

I put on a pair of gym shorts and
a T-shirt. My shirt was so long that it covered the shorts, making
it look as if I were naked underneath. It was only for a minute,
though. Whoever was downstairs was going to get a flash of my
legs.
Nobody
ever
saw my legs, except for my parents. Even in the summer, with the
blazing heat, I wouldn’t wear shorts outside.

I brushed out my too long hair and
left it loose. I could feel the tips against the top of my
ass.

Walking down the stairs, I heard my
Dad and Logan talking about the race. I’d been gone for about
fifteen minutes so I wondered what else needed to be
said.

“
I don’t know why, but she got the
whole mud slide right over her. It was freaky stuff; like the guy
aimed for her.” Logan said, chuckling as though he couldn’t believe
it.