One of Us (15 page)

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Lomax blinked, but did nothing else. He sat very still on his couch, staring at me. I looked him in the eye for a moment or two, but then I dropped my gaze. I did not want to seem as if I was challenging him. When he had sat down, his suit trousers had ridden up, and I could see that he was wearing a pair of bright orange socks on his thin legs. Under the couch there was one whisky glass, lying on its side. I looked up again, met his stare. Then he laughed.

“Just like that, eh.”

“Just like that,” I said.

He tilted his head to one side, as if that would help him see me better.

“And let’s just say that this isn’t bullshit, that you’re not sent by Corgan because he’s trying something on, that you’re not sent by the Ukrainian to catch us both out, that you’ve not just been at your own prescription pad. Let’s just say we put all that to one side for a minute. What the fuck could you give me that would do me any good?”

“Proof that Corgan is planning to work with someone else, cut you out of it. More important, cut the Ukrainian out of it.”

Lomax leaned forward on his couch. The other two men were very still, watching me.

“And do you have a name for this someone else? Or is this where you ask for money?”

“I do not want your money,” I said. “But I will take it, for someone else, for their child. But in return it will mean that you can get rid of Corgan. Isn’t that what you want?”

“Don’t presume what I want,” Lomax said.

I sat, said nothing.

Lomax laughed. “We could make you tell us.”

“I am bringing you what you want,” I said. “Why would you do that? Besides, you want the proof. I might tell you a lie to stop you hurting me.”

He sat back, thought for a moment. “How much?”

“What?”

“How much you asking?”

I had not thought about how much. It would have been a good idea to do so. I had no idea what was the right amount to ask. “What do you think it’s worth?” That at least bought me a few seconds to think.

Lomax put his hands together as if he was praying. “Five grand.”

I stood up. “Thank you for your time.”

The man who had brought me up the stairs straightened up and turned towards me. Lomax moved a hand in his direction and the man stopped.

“You tell me how much you’re asking then.”

I took a breath. “Twenty thousand pounds.”

Lomax sat back. “Like you said, thank you for your time. Give my regards to Corgan, eh?”

“He will kill you,” I said. Even though I had finished speaking, the words stayed in the room, like the sound of breaking glass does.

“He can try,” Lomax said.

“He will,” I said. “To do what he wants to do, he must kill the Ukrainian. If he does that, there is no protection for you. If he does that, would he think twice about coming for you?”

“He can try,” Lomax said, but there was an uncertainty in his voice, and he knew that I heard it. “Ten.”

“Fifteen.”

“It’s not a fucking market stall.”

“Fifteen.”

He thought for a while. “Fifteen. But for that, it has to be solid. What you got?”

“There is a recording.”

“You have this recording?” The man beside me straightened up again. I was glad that I did not have it with me.

“Not with me.”

“But you have it?”

“A friend of mine has it.”

“Oh, a friend. And what’s on it?”

“The man Corgan is going to work with. He is talking about Corgan, about their plans. About getting rid of the Ukrainian.” It was true that I had not heard the recording, and I did not know where it was, but I thought that if I got Lomax interested enough, he could help me now.

“So who’s the man?”

I took a breath, and shook my head. “When you get the recording. And when I get the money.”

Lomax bit his lip. “You’re a fucking tough one.”

“Yes,” I said. “I am.”

“So what do you get out of this? I mean, apart from the money.”

“Corgan,” I said.

“But he’s given you a job, hasn’t he? Looked after you?” He saw my expression. “Well, well. Your business, I suppose. OK, I can have the money as soon as, when do I get the tape?” I had done well, up until then, but I must have let some of my thoughts shape my expression, because he suddenly leaned forward. “You haven’t got the fucking tape, have you?”

“Yes,” I said. “Well, my friend...”

“So, what’s the problem? Because there’s a problem here, isn’t there?”

“A small one,” I said. “But you could help. My friend, who has the recording, he has...gone into hiding. And I need some help to find him. Corgan, he is looking, and—”

“Piss off,” Lomax said. He looked angry. “This is a different story I’m hearing now. You come here, tell me you have this, bargain over money like you have the fucking ace in the hole, and you don’t even know where it is?”

“I know where it is, my friend has it—”

“Well find him. Then bring me the tape. Until then, I don’t want anything to do with you.”

“But—”

“You deaf? You think I’m stupid? You think I’m going to send my men out, into what could be a set-up?” He jumped to his feet, and I stood up too. Lomax marched over to me, sticking his face up into mine. “You setting me up for Corgan?”

“No,” I said. This was all going wrong. “I am trying—”

“Shut up,” he said, and a little bit of spit flew into my face, and I did not dare wipe it away. “That’s how it looks to me. I send my men out, chasing this tape I don’t even know exists, and Corgan lets the Ukrainian know, Lomax is going over the side, running his own operation, disloyal. Do you know what the Ukrainian does to people he thinks aren’t loyal, eh? Do you?” He was shouting now.

“No,” I said. “Please, it is not a set-up.”

Lomax stood there, his face red, staring up at me. I kept my mouth shut, waited to see if I was going to be hit, or worse. The other men waited to follow Lomax’s lead.

He stepped back, turned away as if he had lost interest. “Then bring me the tape. Find this friend, if he exists, bring me the proof, and I’ll pay you. If you don’t, then I’ll know you’re trying to set me up.” He spun around to face me again. “And I’ll remember it. And when me and Corgan settle scores, I’ll remember you. And I’ll peel your fucking face off and give it to my dog to eat. Get her out of here.”

The man next to me pushed me out of the room and down the stairs. I marched through the empty nightclub, my cheeks burning with anger and fear. Still, at least I was walking out. For a time, I had wondered whether I would. When the man yanked open the doors and pushed me out onto the street, I blinked in the bright light. I had forgotten that it was still day time.

“You really got it?” he asked. “This tape.”

“No,” I said. “I made it up, for one big funny joke. Ha ha. You like it?”

He shook his head slowly. “Attitude like yours, you’re going to end up in trouble. Find it, and bring it, and he will pay up. If you don’t...”

“You know why I have this attitude?” I said.

He shrugged. “’Cause you’re a woman and it’s the way you come out of the box?”

“Piss off. It is because I have to spend my life dealing with people like him. And Corgan. And you.”

The man laughed. “Oh dear. Too good for us, are you?” He leant closer. “But our money’s not too dirty for you, is it? Bring the tape. Just bring it.” He shut the door in my face.

When I got to the end of the street I turned and looked back. There was no-one there. I hurried around the corner, and ran down the street. I ducked into a shop that sold handbags and scarves, and stood behind a rotating display of sunglasses, pretending to choose a pair. After a few seconds, the man who had been sitting in Lomax’s chair hurried past, looking down the street. I waited a moment or two, and then I left the shop and ran the other way, looking behind me every few steps until I was sure that no-one was following me.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

I had to find Sean, but I did not know where else to look. So I just walked around the city, looking at faces. I got nowhere, got sore feet, got dog-shit on my shoe.

At work that night I felt like a machine. I lifted, turned, placed, folded, turned, lifted, pressed. My body carried on the work on its own, my mind just sat and watched it, not really thinking any thoughts, too tired, too numb. We had a busy rush early evening, because there was a football match on the television and people wanted food delivered in, but I could not have described one customer the moment after they walked out of the door. I tried to lose myself in what I did, so I could not think of Elena, and I could not think of Sean. But I saw the picture of Elena’s son, on the wall, staring down over his dead mother. And all the time I worked I felt the spaces around me where Sean should be, but was not.

Towards the end of the evening, when it was quiet, Peter came and stood beside me.

“I can’t have this,” he said, but very quietly, not at all like he was angry. “I’ve got a business to run. I’m going to have to get someone else in. He was always a good lad, Sean, never any bother, but I’m going to have to get someone else in. And if I do...well, I can’t finish them if he decides to turn up, in a week, two weeks, whenever. It wouldn’t be fair.”

“No,” I said. “But maybe, if you could just give him another day or two. He has had something upset him, I think. Very bad.” I felt like I was a mad woman, standing and having these conversations with people as if the world was normal and people were not being killed, and running away.

“He could have rung in,” Peter said. “Wouldn’t be so bad if he’d rung in. But I can’t be a member of staff down. It’s not like we have the slack.”

“I will do more,” I said. “I don’t mind. More shifts, harder work.”

Peter nodded, looking out of the window and not at me.

“I dunno if you are in touch with him. And I don’t expect you to say. But if you are, tell him, phone me in the morning, first thing. Otherwise, I’ve got to start someone. Got to.”

He walked off, back into his office, and I scrubbed away at a bench that was already clean.

Late that night, Daniel came in. He waited in line, just like the other customers. When he got to the till, there was one man behind him.

“You go first, mate,” Daniel said.

The man nodded his thanks. Daniel looked at me. “You all right?”

“Surviving,” I said. I served the man his chips and he nodded to Daniel again and left.

“Just surviving?”

“Just.”

“I heard about what happened. Came in earlier but you weren’t around.”

“I was off this afternoon. Did shopping.” I didn’t want to tell Daniel about Lomax. A short man who was losing his hair but pretending that he wasn’t had come in, and was standing behind Daniel.

“Look, can we get together, out of here? I’m worried about you, I want to see you properly, Anna, talk things through.”

The short man coughed, and bobbed from side to side indignantly, first left, then right, trying to catch my eye. Daniel leaned forward, deliberately blocking him.

“See that you’re OK,” he said. “I’m really worried about you, Anna. I am.”

“Any chance of getting a burger? Or am I going to have to listen to this bollocks all night?” The patience of the man behind had run out.

Daniel rose up slowly from the counter. Turned around. Looked at the man for a moment. Then turned back to me. “Sorry,” he said. “Rude of me, that. Pass us a burger, will you Anna? I’ll pay.”

I got a burger ready, wrapped it, and put it down on the counter. Daniel counted out some money, and slid it back across the counter to me. He picked up the burger, carefully unwrapped it, lifted the top of the bun from it, and spat on to the melting cheese. Then he put the bun back on, carefully wrapped it again, and held it out to the man behind him.

They stood very still for a moment, like statues. I understood the challenge, but I did not understand all that passed between them. Then, the man’s eyes dropped to the floor. He turned and trudged out of the shop.

“You should not have done that,” I said.

“He was rude,” Daniel shrugged. “Rude to me, rude to you. Can’t stand rudeness like that. Little fuck, he was ready to have a go at you but didn’t have the bottle to stand up to me.” He held out the burger towards me. His hand was shaking, just a little bit. “Here, do you want to scrape it off, put a fresh bit of cheese on? I’m starving.”

It was not in me to laugh. But I did manage a smile. But not enough for Daniel.

“Jesus, Anna, you look so fucked off.”

“Daniel, Elena is dead. My best friend is missing. And that animal Corgan has his men hunting for him. How am I meant to look?”

Daniel gave me a long look. “Sorry,” he said, and for once he really sounded it. “Look, I haven’t got long, got to be places, so I can’t see you tonight. But tomorrow afternoon? Come on, I’m trying to be your friend here. Christ knows, you need the help. I’m just trying to be a friend.”

And he was, and he was the only one I had left. So I said yes because of that, and I also said yes because I do not think that I had the energy left in me to argue.

~

The next day Peter came in, looked past me into the air, said, “Anna, this is Edward. He’s the new lad. Show him the ropes, eh. I’ve got some paperwork to do.”

Edward was Nigerian, a business student, the most polite man I have ever met. Even with the customers who were drunk, rude, who made not very hidden comments about the colour of his skin, he smiled and spoke politely. He was a nice man, and I liked him, although not enough to listen to his attempts to get me to take the Lord back into my life with any real interest. But most of the time, when I saw him, all I saw was that he wasn’t Sean.

After the afternoon shift was finished, I got changed in the toilets in the restaurant. I put on a pair of jeans which weren’t too worn, and the one top I kept when I wanted to wear something nice. I sniffed my armpits, and sprayed on some deodorant just in case the stink of grease in the restaurant had deadened my sense of smell. It was not like I was going out on a date, but I did not want Daniel to see me in my red and grey uniform, or the clothes I wore just to walk to work and back, which were most of the clothes that I owned.

Daniel was outside the station already, leaning against a sign with his hands in his pockets, which made me pleased because I was deliberately ten minutes late, and I would have been disappointed if he had been too.

“Beginning to think you weren’t coming,” he said.

“It crossed my mind,” I said. “Not to. But here I am.”

“Cool. So what do you want to do?”

“I don’t know,” I said, and I did not. It was good to be in Daniel’s company. But I was tired from work, and I was tired because my life made me tired, and the one thing I did not feel like doing was making a decision.

“Pub? Restaurant? Pictures? Club later?”

“I don’t know,” I said, “Why is it that I have to decide?” Then I felt bad for speaking too sharply, so I said to him, “I’m sorry. None of those. I am not up to being around lots of people.”

Daniel scraped his hand across his chin, looking serious.

“Look, Anna,” he said, his voice low. “How about this: I’m not trying it on or anything. But come back to mine. Seriously, seriously,” he held a hand up as I opened my mouth to speak. “I promise, just for a drink, talk things through, listen to some music, chill. Smoke if you want one. No worries if you don’t.”

I stood thinking for a moment. What would be the harm? But maybe Daniel would try it on. I did not dislike the idea, but not now, not tonight, not when all this else was going on.

“It’s OK,” he said, jingling his car keys. “Forget it, it’s no problem. Let’s go out and have a couple of drinks, I know a nice bar up the road from here, they do food too. We could have a couple of drinks, bite to eat, just take it easy.”

“No,” I said. “Your place. If you can find me something to eat there.”

“There’ll be something in,” Daniel said, grinning. “Even if it’s just biscuits. Come on then.”

“Remember you promised,” I said.

He rolled his eyes. “I know, I know.”

“Sorry,” I said. “It is just...”

“What?”

“Never mind. It is not important.”

Daniel laughed. “You’re a weird one,” he said. “But I mean that in a nice way.”

His flat was not like I thought it would be. I thought that it would be a mess, a real boy’s mess, but it was not. It was a boy’s apartment, without doubt. There was a big flat-screen television with a set of sleek silver boxes underneath, and Xbox controllers hanging down over the top. A slim black box hung on one wall, and I worked out after a while that it was a stereo. At least I thought that it was a stereo. More speakers around than I had pairs of shoes. But it was neat, and ordered. Apart from the gadgets it was well furnished in colours like autumn. It looked like everything had been bought at once, from a catalogue.

“You like it?” Daniel said.

“I do,” I said.

“Temporary, this,” he said. “Until I sort my plans out, then I’ve got my eye on somewhere bigger. Going to have a room that’s all home cinema setup, will be cool as fuck. Look, sit down.” He showed me towards the brown leather couch. “Drink? Vodka? Or I’ve got some white wine in the fridge.”

“Wine would be nice, thank you.”

Daniel slid a CD into the stereo on the wall, and a soft American r’n’b started to play. I did not like it very much, but I did not tell Daniel that, I just sat on his couch while he clattered in the kitchen, and I enjoyed being somewhere warm, somewhere nice, somewhere safe. The last place I had been like that was home. And home was gone, and even the memories were spoiled because when I thought of it, I saw Aleksey lying broken on the floor, and I felt the dark pressing in around me in the cupboard where I hid.

“Here you go.” He put a glass down on the table in front of me, and disappeared back into the kitchen again for a while. He came back out with a plate of olives, some slices of cheese, some biscuits, some peanuts and what looked like a half of a bag of crisps.

“Not got much in the way of food in, I’m afraid. I can phone out for something if you like. Thai? Chinese?”

“This is fine too,” I said. “Is lovely.”

“Are you sure? There’s a pizza place just around the corner, I could be back in—”

“Daniel, shhh. I am happy with this.”

“OK. Well if you change your mind—”

“I will let you know.”

We sat and we talked for a while about nothing that was important, and we drank our wine. Daniel knew he made me feel good, and he played on it, and that made me laugh some more. We talked about when he was a child, and he asked me what it was like growing up in my country. “So, did you have TV and that?”

“No,” I said. “Just books. But we could not read them in the evenings, unless the moon was full, because we did not have lights, either. And when the moon was full was when the wolves came.”

“You’re taking the piss now,” Daniel said. “How am I meant to know?” He refilled my wine glass when it was empty, and managed to find more assorted bits of snack food from his cupboards. I finished that glass of wine too, but I turned another one down because if I drank that too then all my good resolutions might end up only being things that I thought about the morning after. I did not need that complication in my life. Not right now. I wanted it. But not right now, I thought. And thinking this made me think of Sean, and then I felt very guilty because I was sitting here, in this catalogue flat, drinking wine and laughing with this beautiful and confident boy, and for all I knew Sean was sleeping on the street, or in some shitty room in a city a long way away. On his own, starting all over. Again. I sighed. We could not avoid talking about the real world any more. I had stepped out of it for a moment, and that was all that I was allowed.

“You know what Corgan thought? He thought Sean was sleeping with Elena. That they were up to something.”

Daniel nodded. “He probably had her watched. Must have followed Sean back to the restaurant or his place. I know Fat Paul’s been off doing something mysterious for Corgan, and if anyone’s good at just sitting in a car, eating and watching, it’s Paul.”

I thought of the time that Sean went to Elena’s on his own. If I had been feeling well, I would have been with him. They would have seen me too.

“So what do you think about it?” Daniel said.

“Think about what?”

“Sean and Elena.”

“There was no Sean and Elena.”

Daniel looked at me, without saying anything, his eyes wide.

“What?” I said.

He shook his head, very slowly, as if he was sad. “Oh, Anna. Anna, Anna, Anna.”

“I know my name. What? Why are you looking at me like that? No,” I said. I looked at him, waiting for the smile, looking for the grin. But Daniel just met my stare. “No,” I said again. “Do not take the piss, not now, not—”

“I’m not,” he said. “I wouldn’t.”

“So why this bullshit about Sean?”

“It’s not bullshit.”

“It is, you making this up, Daniel, he would not do what they say.”

“No?” Daniel said. “Really? So what
was
he doing round Elena’s? People aren’t what you think, Anna. You have this misty-eyed view of the world, but love, you need to get real.”

“What do you mean? Don’t play games with me.”

“Come on, Anna. From all accounts Sean’s been sniffing around her like a dog on heat. And you know what she does, Elena. You think he was popping round to see her, like they were best of friends? Draw your own conclusions. “

I shook my head, angry. “It wasn’t that.”

“No?” Daniel said. “So what was he doing round her flat on his own then? Delivering a pizza, was he?”

I opened my mouth and then I closed it again, and then I looked away.

“Fucking hell,” Daniel said. “Fuck. Ing. Hell. You know, don’t you?”

“Know what?”

“Don’t insult me, Anna, come on. You owe me more than that.”

I did. And maybe if I had told Daniel earlier, he might have warned me that our plan would be a disaster. “Me, him and Elena...it is just we were working on something. Before she got killed.”