One Second (Seven Series Book 7) (41 page)

I blinked away my tears and noticed how calm he seemed nestled against my chest, listening to the sound of my heart, which now beat for him.

So beautiful.

So precious.

I kissed his warm head, covered in black hair. “Hi, handsome.”

He was a few weeks early but didn’t look premature at all. Just as stout and healthy as any mother could hope for in a newborn. And then there were all those tiny little pink fingers—ones that splayed and tightened, uncertain of what to grab hold of, so I let him wrap his tiny hands around my finger.

My heart slowed to an unsteady beat, and I pressed a petal-soft kiss against his head and whispered, “Please, God. Just one more second.”

Austin wrung his hands repeatedly until they turned a blistering red.
After his wolf had left the room, he paced the hall, too anxious to shift and unable to calm down. The rest of the pack hurried in and kept vigil in the hall, spreading blankets across the floor to sit on as they talked to one another and waited for news from the Relic.

Lexi’s screams were chilling.

When he heard the first whimpering cries of a baby, Austin immediately shifted to human form. His father brought him a pair of pants, and they patiently waited for the door to open. Reno returned the medallion that he’d left at the campsite, and Austin placed the necklace around his neck, gripping the round pendant and praying for strength.

But the minutes kept ticking by. Izzy assured him there was no need to worry—that women needed to take care of a few things after childbirth, and it was completely normal. But the silence sickened him because this was no ordinary delivery. He took a seat on the wood floor, his back to the wall, knees drawn up, and a small stuffed wolf in his hands. The custom-made toy wound up with a key and played “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac. It was supposed to be a surprise for Lexi, but he had never found the right time to give it to her since she’d been hiding all the baby gifts downstairs.

He traced his finger around the small key.

When his mother emerged from the room, her face was ashen, eyes red, and her mouth turned down. His heart almost shattered when she knelt before him and rested her hands on his knees, unable to look him in the eye. Strands of hair had pulled free from her bun, and her blue eyes looked sunken in beneath wet lashes.

“Austin, she’s gravely injured. The Relic had to revive her twice. Do you understand what I’m telling you?”

Maizy rushed for the door, and Katharine quickly got up to block her from entering. “I have to see my sister!”

Denver appeared and gripped Maizy’s shoulders from behind, letting her fall against him, grief overtaking her.

Katharine swept a gentle caress across Maizy’s cheek. “She knows how much you love her, but right now she needs her mate.”

Maizy broke down, her body limp and tears streaming. Denver turned her around and cradled her in his arms.

Austin couldn’t look. He pressed the furry black toy against his forehead and squeezed his eyes shut, as if he could make all this go away and travel back in time to when they first fell in love.
Why did he have to push kids on her? Why didn’t he give it more time? Why did that goddamn bullet have to rip right through his chest and into hers
?

He should have been strong enough to stop that bullet—strong enough to protect her.

Austin rose to his feet as if pulled by invisible strings.

Katharine brushed her hand across the medallion. “Lynn’s on her way, and I’ll bring her up to speed as soon as she gets here.” His mother clenched her fist and held it in front of her face, fighting back tears. “She might not even make it that long.”

Austin weaved around her and opened the door, uncertain of what he might discover.

Edward was hunched over, stuffing bloody towels into a trash bag. When he caught sight of Austin, he crossed the room and blocked his view.

“I’m not going to dress up the situation. Her condition is grave, and I’ve done all I can do. When I lost her the second time, I didn’t think I’d be able to bring her back. I got a pulse, and she shifted, but I can’t get her to shift back. She’s unconscious and unresponsive. If you can somehow pull her out of whatever darkness she’s hiding in, then it might be enough to get her to shift once more. I can’t assess her internal injuries without medical tests, and the longer we wait, the slower they’ll heal—if at all.”

Austin’s gaze dragged to the right side of the dark room. “And the baby?”

Edward gave him a doleful smile. “She gave you a son. A strong alpha, like his mother.”

Austin’s heart splintered, and a tear rolled down the bridge of his nose. Edward stepped aside, lowering his eyes and allowing Austin to soak in the scene, which was more of an aftermath.

Lexi’s silver wolf was lying on the bed, unmoving. She’d never looked so small and vulnerable. A dim lamp lit up the left side of the room, stopping at the bed as if it could go no farther. Austin crawled across the mattress and eased beside her, resting his head so he could look her in the eyes. He placed his hand on her shoulder, feeling her labored breaths, which were infrequent.

“I wanted to wait to give you this, but I guess now’s as good a time as any.”

He placed the black wolf between them and wound up the key in the back. In the silence of the room, a gentle song began to play in bright, cheerful notes.

Their song.

Austin leaned forward and whispered in her ear. “I’m here, Lexi. I told you I’d never leave you again, and I meant it.” He petted her ears, her face unresponsive. “But… if you have to leave me—if for some reason you can’t hang on, but you’re too scared to let go, then I’m here, baby. I’m right here with you. I won’t let you go into the dark alone.”

He nuzzled close with his arm around her, sensing her energy dimming. Even his alpha power couldn’t force a shift unless she was conscious, and he didn’t know how much time they had left together. Every second was precious.

He’d never taken the time to feel how soft her silver fur was against his fingertips, and especially how different the texture was on her neck than on her paws. He ran his fingers up to the black tips of her ears and wondered if she could hear him.

“Let me tell you about the first time I fell in love with you. It was a hot summer at the lake, and you were seventeen. Wes and some of the guys were drinking beers in the tent, and I told them I had to take a leak. But I lied. I wanted to check on you. I walked toward the lake, and you were sitting alone, listening to the radio and singing. Damn, I had to stop for a minute just to soak it all in. It hit me right then and there, Lexi. Your silhouette against the moonlight and the way you faced the unknown—I saw a woman growing up before me. I caught a glimpse of a future I wanted, and it included you.”

The door closed behind him as Edward left.

He tucked his arm beneath his head and continued stroking her face. “That’s when I used to smoke. Yeah, yeah. I know. I thought it made me look cool. I can still remember you in those pink pajama bottoms with the strawberries and the way the clouds looked like puzzle pieces moving across the sky. Can you see it? I wanted to say something to you, but I felt like words would ruin the moment. I’d mess it up by saying something dumb, and I didn’t want you to leave. You curled your arms around your knees and rested your head, and all I thought about was putting my jacket over you even though it wasn’t cold. I was torn—still a young man trying to figure out what he wanted. I knew I couldn’t have a life with a human, but my wolf was singing for you—baying to the moon while I sat in silence.”

Austin smiled, and a tear rolled across his nose. “Something I never told you about that night was that you were sitting near a pile of ants. The damn things were crawling up the back of your shirt—big black ones. I was picking them off, hoping you wouldn’t notice or get stung. If your brother had walked up on us, he would have thought I was a creeper trying to feel up his little sister.” Austin quieted for a moment, his voice softening. “I was saving that story for our fiftieth anniversary. I knew you’d get a laugh out of it.”

Suddenly his heart constricted at the thought of a life without Lexi. Her empty spot at the table; the nail on the wall, absent of keys; her shoes by the door; hearing her laughter from across the house. Austin rose up on his elbow and stroked her soft, beautiful face. “I know you’re tired, but you need to come back to me. You need to fight through the darkness and wake up. It’s the hardest damn thing you’ll ever do, but you’re not alone. I’m in there, and you just have to follow my voice. Please, Ladybug. Just try.”

The small cry of an infant pulled his attention away, and for a fleeting moment, Austin wavered between two loves. He heard Lexi’s voice in his head saying, “Go to him.”

Austin sat up, face wet with tears, and approached the wooden rocking cradle that Ivy had given them. Before leaving the house a few days ago, he had moved it to the bedroom without Lexi knowing. A fur blanket lined the inside, providing a warm cocoon. Austin knelt down and lifted the tiny hood away from the baby’s face.

“I’ll be damned,” he said, tears glittering in his eyes. He’d thought love at first sight only happened once in a lifetime, but he was wrong.

Austin cradled the back of his son’s head and lifted him into his arms. Someone had swaddled him in a pink gown with a hood. Tiny butterflies on the cotton material made Austin smile.

Jesus, he looked just like Lexi. Until the little guy blinked a few times and looked up with crystal-blue eyes rimmed in black. Austin bowed his head and placed a reverent kiss on his son’s forehead, rising to his feet and drifting toward the bed.

“We have a handsome son.”

Austin sat down and placed the baby next to Lexi, counting all those tiny fingers and toes. Premature or not, this was a strong baby with pink cheeks, a pudgy mouth, and…

Suddenly a thought occurred to him. He might be hungry.

Austin hovered over Lexi with his lips resting beneath her left eye. “I can’t do this without you, Lexi. I can’t.”

The music began to wind down until the last note hung in the air.

What began as a few small chirps from the baby evolved into a wail. His son’s cries echoed the torment he felt within his own heart.

“Lexi,
shift
. Do you hear me? Shift!”

The door swung open, and Lynn barged into the room, her eyes filled with panic. Edward closed the door for privacy.

“My baby,” she gasped, nearing the opposite end of the bed. Lynn brushed her hands across Lexi’s back—so tender and doting. “Oh my sweet baby, Mommy’s here. I’ll take good care of you. Don’t you worry, everything’s going to be all right.”

Austin couldn’t look anymore. He couldn’t withstand living in this moment, or it might rip his soul apart. He got up and walked toward the window, folding his arms and staring at his reflection in the glass. He could see Lynn draping herself over Lexi, singing her a song and preparing to endure the worst kind of pain imaginable for a mother.

Austin would never mend from this. He was caught in a maelstrom of emotions, and the rage spinning at the core threatened to strip away every thread of goodness he had left in him.

The baby’s cries intensified, and Lynn tried to soothe him. “Oh, Lexi, he’s so beautiful. Shhh, little one. Everything’s going to be okay.”

But it wasn’t. And the idea of Judas living and breathing insulted him more now than ever. Heat licked off him, and a thin film of condensation appeared on the window.

A gentle howl filled the room, and it was coming from Lexi. Austin spun around so fast that he almost lost his footing.

He rushed to the bed and reached across it. “Let me have him.”

Lynn curved her body away.

“Her wolf is calling for her baby.”

Austin moved to the center of the bed and placed the wailing baby next to Lexi’s wolf—close enough that she could pick up his scent.

“He’s here, Lexi. He’s right here.”

The baby cried, shaking and turning an ugly shade of purple.

Lexi’s wolf broke her howl and sniffed the baby’s head, her eyes still closed. Her pink tongue appeared as she lazily licked his ear, a low sound in the back of her throat—the one a mother wolf makes to comfort her young.

His cries waned, and after a few deep gasps, he calmed. In a moment that can only be explained as magic, Lexi shifted to human form.

“Relic!” Austin roared. “Relic!”

Lynn scooped up the baby to make room.