One Secret Night (12 page)

Chapter 11

R
aith stepped out of the hotel elevator behind Autumn. She’d asked him three times if he was sure she should be with him and he was. Ever since that kiss last night, she’d done all she could to stay away from him. He wasn’t sure if avoidance motivated her or if she felt she would be intruding. Maybe it was a little of both.

He’d almost reassured her that his vigilance for the media had nothing to do with his feelings for her. And then he’d checked himself. Regardless of how much he desired her, there was too much at stake if they were caught.

Entering the lobby, he looked for his father, not having any idea of how he’d changed. Nervous butterflies were as foreign to him as Mount Everest. His stomach knotted with them now.

He hadn’t seen his dad since he’d left twenty-three years ago. This wasn’t a family reunion. This was something to be dealt with. Gotten out of the way. Never to be revisited. He’d find out the reason for this meeting and be done with it. This was probably his father’s sly attempt to get back into his life. Maybe he found out that Raith had money.

Seeing a man sitting on a chair in one of three seating areas, Raith slowed his steps. Was that him?

The man turned, saw him and stood. Tall and lanky, he was thinner than Raith remembered. His hair had grayed and sagging, wrinkled skin shrouded his green eyes.

Leonardo De Matteis moved slowly as he made his way around the chair. He seemed frail. At sixty-five, he was not so old that he should be moving that way, but his dad had never taken good care of himself.

“Raith.” His dad smiled as though genuinely glad to see him.

Raith shook his hand, finding the grip weak.

Autumn stood cautiously next to him. He wished he could tell her to relax. She wasn’t intruding. This was a casual meeting. It couldn’t be anything more, not to Raith.

Raith had no idea what to say. Not “Dad,” that was for sure.

“Thanks for agreeing to meet me,” Leonardo said. “I wasn’t the best father in the world, so I wasn’t sure you would.”

One of the worst. Raith still had nothing to say.

“Who’s this?” his dad asked. “Are you married?”

“Autumn. No, we’re not married.” Raith glanced at her as she gave a faltering smile.

“Your girlfriend, then.”

Autumn looked at him as though asking the same question. Or maybe she silently accused him of pretending to be her boyfriend when perhaps there was more truth to it than either of them admitted. He’d played as though she was his girlfriend before and a secret part of him wished he could admit that she was—in some fanciful way.

Raith didn’t answer.

His dad nodded, clearly not expecting Raith to be inviting. He looked around the lobby. “Is there somewhere more private we can talk?”

“We can go up to our room,” Autumn offered.

Now Raith second-guessed his thinking in allowing her to be here for this. That took casual to a new level.

“If it’s no trouble.” His dad met Raith’s eyes, asking silently for approval.

Autumn hooked her arm with his dad’s. “It’s no trouble.”

She must have caught on to Leonardo’s weakened condition and wasn’t going to let Raith have a say. She helped his father toward the elevators.

Craning his skinny neck to look back, Leonardo said, “You’ve found a real spitfire.”

“Yeah, a real spitfire.” He said it while thinking of their kiss.

Autumn glanced back with an impish smile.

“I hope you’re treating her better than I treated your mother,” his dad said, ruining the moment.

Raith clenched his teeth, biting back a caustic reply. How could his dad joke about that? Or was he? They didn’t know each other. Maybe he was nervous.

“He treats me very well,” Autumn said.

“I’m glad to hear it.”

In the elevator, he stood opposite his dad, fighting his curiosity.

“Are you two planning to get married?”

Raith turned to Autumn the same time she turned to him. Just playing girlfriend and boyfriend tantalized him enough. Marriage? That should set him into a cold sweat. Instead, he let the possibility linger and toy with his imagination. What would it be like if she were all his?

Neither she nor Raith answered.

“Still in the early stages.” His dad laughed lightly. “Those were the days.”

The days before alcohol destroyed their family.

The casual talk ended for now. Raith led them into the suite, noticing how his dad didn’t miss what kind of room they had.

His dad walked into the living area, taking in the grandeur. “You must be doing well for yourself.”

“We both are,” Autumn said. “My dad is the movie producer Jackson Ivy. Most of my money comes from a trust fund, but I’m a translator, too.”

Raith was sure she never offered that information. Now she had diarrhea of the mouth with his estranged dad. Why? Did she sense something about him? His frailty?

“It says a lot about a woman who doesn’t have to work but does,” Leonardo said.

“What, that she doesn’t like to be bored?”

Leonardo chuckled. “What do you do for a living to attract such a fascinating woman, Raith?”

None of your business
came to his mind.

“He’s a private investigator,” Autumn volunteered for him.

“Autumn.”

She glanced at him. “You said you were okay with me being here.”

Almost telling her he was beginning to regret that, he sat on the sofa.

She helped his dad sit on the chair adjacent to him. Raith watched, curious again as to why his father was so slow and weak.

Autumn went to get something to drink while he and his dad shared an awkward moment.

She returned with some bottled iced tea that she had room service keep in the refrigerator.

“What are you doing in Houston?” his dad asked.

“Tracking down someone who contracted to kill one of Raith’s clients,” Autumn answered.

Raith drilled her with a warning look. She was taking over this meeting.

“Not just any P.I., huh? Impressive.”

Raith ignored the compliment. Or was it that? The way his father said
impressive
sounded as though he hadn’t really meant impressive.

“Do you help him with his work?” his father asked Autumn.

“No. Raith doesn’t need any help.”

“Then why are you here? I thought you were here on business.”

“His business sort of got me involved.”

With Leonardo’s perplexed look, Raith stepped in. “I can’t discuss the details of my investigation.”

“Ah.” Leonardo nodded and then turned to Autumn. “As long as you’re not in any danger.” He looked at Raith. “It sounds dangerous.”

“Sometimes it is. Why don’t we get to the reason you’re here.”

“Malcolm gave me your address. That’s how I found you and your number.”

Raith waited. Leonardo appeared to struggle with what to say next.

“He sends you Christmas cards, he said, but you two haven’t spoken in a few years.”

“He does. And no, we haven’t.” He caught Autumn’s stern look. Was he being too harsh on the man? He didn’t think so. His father must know Raith had money. Was that why his dad was here?

“He says you don’t send Christmas cards.”

“I don’t.”

“It’s a shame that you’ve lost touch with your family. With your brother. Me, I understand, but Malcolm?”

“Did you only come here to talk?”

Once again, Autumn shot him a scolding look.

Leonardo lifted the bottle of tea. His hand trembled and he sipped unsteadily. What was wrong with him? Sixty-five wasn’t that old. Lowering the bottle and placing it on a side table, Leonardo took several more seconds before meeting Raith’s eyes.

“I have cancer, Raith.”

Cancer.
The word went into this ears along with Autumn’s soft gasp and bounced around his brain before the meaning registered. The news gave him an unexpected, potent jolt. The father he’d lost during his boyhood and the one who had ruined his adolescence had cancer. How could he care so much for a man he’d spent very little quality time with? He supposed nothing would change the fact that he was his father, and Raith did have some good memories as a boy.

Raith said nothing while a million conflicting emotions clashed and twisted inside him.

“Colon cancer,” Leonardo said, as though still in disbelief. “I’ve had two surgeries.”

Colon cancer. Did anybody survive that?

“I’m deathly ill,” he said in that same tone.

No one could comprehend their own death. Raith never tried. He wasn’t afraid of dying. He didn’t have to understand it. Someday he’d just be...gone. That was the simple truth.

Hearing that his father would soon reach the end of his life, something wrenched inside of him. Ever since he’d left home all those years ago, he’d cherished his freedom. He was free of his father. Had his father died without reaching out to him, he’d have felt nothing. Instead, his father had reached out, and the reaction that caused infuriated him.

“Why did you come here to tell me that?” His dad had sought him out after so many years of nothing to tell him he was dying? It wasn’t fair! It was selfish. Typical of his dad. Did he mean to get close to him and then die? Torment his son one last time?

“Raith,” Autumn admonished. Standing, she went to Leonardo and crouched before him, putting her hand on his where it rested on his knee. “Are you getting treatment? Do you have good doctors? Is your insurance covering everything?”

Leonardo smiled at her, not a jovial smile by any means, a smile of a man who’d accepted his fate. He’d gone through the horror of the diagnosis, learning what would happen to his body, how it would take the life out of him.

“You don’t have to worry about me. I’ve got plenty of good care. It just won’t be enough to save me.” He turned to Raith. “All that matters to me now is settling my affairs before I die. I need to atone for the things I’ve done, the people I’ve hurt.”

Did he think coming here would do that? Just like that?

Abracadabra.

“The doctors say up to six months,” Leonardo said.

Up to
six months. That wasn’t much time. Just long enough to get reacquainted, or acquainted for the first time, only to die.

Autumn bowed her head.

Leonardo slid his hand from beneath hers and touched her shoulder. She looked up, and then when Leonardo sat back on the chair with a tired sigh, she moved to sit on the ottoman behind her, clasping her hands as she leaned over her lap.

She had a lot of compassion for someone she didn’t know. Raith was angry over the compassion he felt, that his father made him feel with this pity visit.

“Raith.” His father brought his gaze back to him. “I’m asking for your forgiveness. I don’t expect it today, or this week or month. I’m asking for a chance to earn it. I have a lot of regrets in my life. Your mother. You. Malcolm. So many things I’ve done to hurt you all. I can’t die with those regrets.”

Selfish. He was a selfish man for coming here, for waiting until he was dying to do so.

“I know you blame me for your mother’s death,” Leonardo said. “I blamed myself. I still do. She’s the one person I’ll never be able to earn forgiveness from. If I’d have been smart enough to go get help, maybe she’d still be alive.” He looked down at his hands on each of his thighs. “After she died...I didn’t see anything I had to live for.” He looked at Raith. “It was no longer important that I fix myself. I didn’t think about you and Malcolm. Malcolm was already old enough to be on his own, and you were always so independent. I never stopped to consider what your mother’s death did to you, that you were hurting, too, and needed support and guidance. The moment you started getting into trouble, I should have realized what was happening.”

Raith could only sit there and watch his father. So many thoughts pummeled him that he couldn’t organize them all. Anger kept everything in a tight ball.

“If I’d have stopped drinking, I might have.” He stared at Raith, imploring. “I’m sorry, son. There isn’t anything I can say to change the way things were. All I can say is I’m sorry. And tell you that I’ve changed. I’ve been sober for ten years now. I’ve thought of you and Malcolm every day since.”

“Why didn’t you come to see me, then?”

“I didn’t have the courage.”

Not until he’d been diagnosed with cancer.

“And I was a recovering alcoholic. It took a lot to quit. I struggled every day with it for years. I wasn’t in a healthy enough state of mind to consider coming to see you. And I didn’t think you’d welcome it.”

He got that one right. “I’m not your son,” Raith said.

Autumn’s head turned sharply toward him and she sat straighter on the ottoman.

Raith ignored her. “If you’ve come here hoping to hear me call you my dad, think again.”

Leonardo’s mouth tightened as sadness shadowed his eyes. “I didn’t expect you to, not right away. So many years have passed.” He looked down at his hands again and moments later lifted his head. “You don’t have to forgive me. I was never there for you and I hold nothing against you, now or in the future. I had to try, though. I had to come here and try. I can’t die in peace otherwise.”

Autumn’s dark green eyes pooled with unshed tears as she looked from Leonardo to Raith. Obviously, she couldn’t understand his indifference.

“Take some time and think about this.” His dad struggled to stand.

Autumn helped him. “I’ll call for someone to come and help you.”

“No, no. I’ve said what I needed to say.” He turned to Raith. “I’ll be in Houston a few more days, maybe a week. Doc says no longer than a week. Is it all right if I call again?”

“Of course it is,” Autumn said. Her fiery eyes pinned him.

Leonardo didn’t acknowledge her. He needed Raith’s approval.

Raith could feel the hardness of his own gaze. He was angry with his father.

“I’ll try calling you. I’d like to meet again. Talk. But if you decide not to, I’ll understand.” After long seconds of staring at his son, his dad walked toward the door.

Autumn went there with him, putting her hand on his shoulder and saying something Raith couldn’t hear. Whatever it was, it made his dad smile. He thanked her and left.